This week’s episode opens with one of Hikaru’s manga, and it almost feels like an autobiography of sorts. The heroine is raised by a very, very large black cat. Sometimes, they venture into town to interact with normal people. She thinks she’s pretty good at it. She’s pretty happy with her big cat mama. Alas, the people regard her with suspicion. The fact that her mother is represented as a cat makes sense. Cats have claws and can hurt you. But it’s extra funny to me because there’s a book out there titled All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum: An affirming introduction to autism. No, cats don’t literally have autism. But they do share traits that we find in autistic people, and this can help us understand both cats and, well, autism. Obviously, we shouldn’t diagnose people from our couches. But Hikaru and her mother certainly march to the beat of their own drum. It’s hard not to think that they both might be autistic. For the most part, Hikaru’s a mostly charming, harmless girl. It’s just that other 10% that’s… concerning.
The school is holding a festival where each club gets to showcase itself. The thing is, Kokoro is in two clubs, so she might not have as much time to help out with the manga club. Sachi is Sachi; she merely reads and critiques the manga. She seemingly has no inclination to create one herself. And of course, Hikaru declines to participate. It would be easy to write her off as someone who doesn’t care. But it’s clear from her manga that she’s aware of the effect she has on people. There’s a good chance she doesn’t get too close to the girls because she’s afraid of pushing them away. Hikaru definitely enjoys their company. She wouldn’t go on the various trips with them if she didn’t. But she continues to hold them at arm’s length so that the relationship can never potentially worsen.
As a result, Hikaru’s manga might be more aspirational than it is autobiographical. After all, it looks like her mother is obsessed with her work — too obsessed to pay much attention to her own child. It makes you wonder why she even got pregnant in the first place. I suppose that isn’t super difficult. Random hook-ups happen all the time, and even if they used contraception, that can fail. But then the mother had to find out that she was pregnant, then carry it for nine whole months. Afterward, she presumably raised Hikaru for a short while. You can’t exactly leave a baby on its own. So why go through all of that just to neglect the kid later?
Hikaru’s mother’s outlook colors the girl’s view of the world, so she also judges people by that same 90/10 criteria. Hell, it seems as though her mother even encourages it. When she hears that Hikaru had spent time with a friend (Sachi), she says, “Don’t let your fangs go dull.” What? Interacting with normies makes you weak and uninteresting? You can only create good manga if you have an edge to you? I dunno, this feels a bit messed up. But it makes sense why Hikaru is the way that she is. She even outright admits that she looks down on Sachi. Sheesh, this girl certainly isn’t good at social interactions. But what makes this interesting is that she’s aware of it. After all, the heroine in her manga (who is literally just her) thinks she’s good at speaking to people, but the people are scared. Why would Hikaru highlight that if she was ignorant of her own shortcomings? Clearly, she knows. If it were me, I’d be offended. I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who thinks I’m trash. But Sachi has already spent quite a bit of time with Hikaru, so she’s not willing to give up on the girl just yet. Thank god most people aren’t antisocial like me.
People always say they hurt others without meaning to, but that’s putting undue weight on our intentions. We have to realize at some point that intentions don’t really matter as much as we think they should. Sure, intention is the difference between murder and manslaughter, but someone still died at the end of the day! I don’t think it’s all that different when it comes to hurting people’s feelings. It’s a cop-out when people try to defend themselves by claiming something like, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you!” But you did anyway! Regardless of what you intended, you still hurt them. And there are ways to curtail your behavior. You just have to try. For example, Sachi invites Hikaru to have dinner with her and her family. Hikaru immediately says, “I can’t wait. I want to know what a normal family dinner looks like.” Sure, you can think that, but you don’t have to say it.
Soon after spending time with Sachi, however, Hikaru’s latest comic doesn’t garner as many likes as usual. You really can’t judge your work based on something as indeterministic as likes, though. Okay, likes are somewhat deterministic. If you put out good work, it’ll get some attention. But on the other hand, especially to the average user, these social media sites might as well be a black box. They could tweak stuff behind the scenes, and you’d never know. There are all sorts of reasons why your recent posts might not have the same level of engagement as before. A drop in likes says nothing definitive about you or the quality of your work. But you can already see the car crash unfolding in slow motion: Hikaru is going to blame Sachi for this and push her away. Well, it could’ve been worse. She could’ve lashed out. Instead, she’s just rude: “Why would I ever go back [to see your family]?”
Hikaru would later regret her words. She doesn’t need to change how she feels, but she didn’t have to be mean about it. So again, it just comes back to trying. As a result, we see her trying to communicate the best way she knows how: through her manga. But before she could even finish it, Sachi is already at the door. That girl isn’t going to let Hikaru’s worst impulses win the day. As a result, we get probably the biggest twist so far in the story: Hikaru’s mother is none other than Hebichika. Rei has been this close to her idol all this time and never knew it. Even worse, the woman doesn’t even remember Rei.
Sachi is lazy and carefree all the time, so it’s tempting to assume she’s slow on the uptake. But she’s actually quite emotionally intelligent. She doesn’t need an apology from Hikaru, because she already understands the girl through her manga. She then parries Hebichika’s harsh words before the woman could even spit them out. Sachi knows what was coming, so she’s already spinning it as a positive. As a result, Hikaru finally admits that they’re friends. And emboldened by Sachi’s open-mindedness, the girl no longer feels the need to withdraw from the rest of the club. Sometimes, a cat gets overexcited and can hurt you with its claws (trimmed or not). You still keep it around anyway, because it’s just so cute! I wouldn’t personally say that Hikaru is cute… but the people who matter to her, i.e., her friends, certainly find her endearing!
Stray thoughts & observations:
— Hikaru’s manga is fully colored, too. That’s a lot of effort. I’d say 99% of the manga I read is in black-and-white.
— You rarely see guys in this show. Sure, half of the girls have dads, but that’s about it. Not once have I seen them interact with a boy their age. So of course, I have to point it out when we finally see a male extra. Dude has like one line, then slinks back into the shadows.
— Yep, this is how you overstimulate a cat and can potentially cause them to lash out. Hikaru, however, is a lot more patient than you might expect. Sure, she still refers to Sachi’s brothers as brats, but she doesn’t get super pissed or anything.
— Oh, would you look at that — as soon as Rei tried her hand at a different publication, she got her manga serialized. Well, that’s just life, isn’t it? Sometimes, you just gotta settle. Unfortunately, Rei also learned that being a professional mangaka wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Manga sure is fun to read! But creating it? Well… she ended up overworking her assistants just like her idol Hebichika.
— Man, Rei didn’t get to celebrate finishing her first chapter. As soon as she handed it over, she immediately had to work on the next one.
— Ultimately, it’s the system that’s at fault, right? Japan’s appetite for manga is utterly insatiable, but that doesn’t mean you have to try to satisfy it. But people try anyway, which leads to ridiculous deadlines and workloads. Artists constantly take extended health breaks because they probably kill themselves when they’re actually working. Long hours at the desk, not eating right, not getting enough exercise, not interacting with enough people (which also affects your health), so on and so forth. These unending cycles can’t possibly be efficient. And yet an entire billion-yen industry is built upon it. A publication probably thinks it’ll lose market share if it tries to institute healthy practices. Other companies would just abuse their artists, so why should we play fair? Burnout. That’s why. How many would-be talented mangaka have quit the career because it’s just not good for their health? Still, Rei seems to reminisce on those difficult days with a smile, so at least she’s moving forward?
