How dare an anime suggest that vaccines might be good for us! Time to raise some tariffs again!
TANK CHAIR Ep. 2
The episode opens with a sniper trying to take Nagi out. We learn pretty quickly, however, that Shizuka had hired him. She wanted to see how far Nagi could detect someone’s killing intent. She’s experimenting with her brother’s life. Not only that, how many assassins has she sent to their deaths? With Nagi only waking up whenever someone is about to kill him, Shizuka is basically raising herself and she’s turning into a little psycho. Yes, I know these are not good people. The world won’t suffer if we lose a few of them. Still, something isn’t adding up. The show tells us that we’re on an artificial island floating in the Sea of Japan. The island has been abandoned due to a recent economic collapse. As a result, it’s full of violent thugs and — hold onto your pants, now — illegal immigrants. But jokes aside, if things are this bad on the island, how is it that Shizuka can live here? How is it that she can wander the streets on her own? How is it that she can walk right up to a dangerous assassin and hire them? Are there really other kids like her on this island? But when she returns home later that night, she needs this many deadbolts on the door just to keep the baddies out. Like whaaaa…? Maybe I sound like a nerd nitpicking and complaining about a tiny blunder in an Itchy & Scratchy episode, but I really do think credible world-building matters.
Needless to say, the sniper doesn’t manage to kill Nagi. Hell, Nagi sniped the unlucky bastard instead. Before the credits rolled, however, the show teases us with a huge cyborg schoolgirl. Someone calls out to her, so we know her name is Touko. I took a look at the cast list, and it turns out Touko is voiced by Saori Hayami. Hm, I wonder if Touko is gonna survive for more than one episode, then.
Mission: Yozakura Family S2 Ep. 13
A bunch of weirdos probably screamed, “It should’ve been me!” when they saw this scene. What the hell am I watching? Well, if you would believe, this is apparently an elaborate ploy to get Kyoichiro to go to sleep. No, I will not explain what is happening in this scene.
My biggest complaint about the first cour was that it faffed about for way too long before the main story finally kicked in. So of course, when Mutsumi gives us a quick recap of recent events and concludes that the family would need to be on high alert, I was a little dismayed to see all this goofiness concerning Kyoichiro. Luckily, the second half of the episode gets the story back on track.
Mutsumi and Taiyo meet with Momo at a legally distinct Denny’s — do they have Denny’s in Japan? — and at first, the former patriarch is trying to act as if everything is normal. When Mutsumi confronts him about how much he’s changed, however, he changes his tune pretty fast. Did all of these unlucky diners just die? Well, Momo quickly makes his escape, leaving behind a freaky monster for his kids to deal with. Pretty soon, the area gets leveled as the monster quickly balloons in size. The siblings still make short work of it. It’s the first episode of the second cour, after all. We’re not going to go balls to the walls just yet. Be that as it may, however, there’s still all those dead people as well as the property damage. I know the Yozakuras are all spies in a super duper spy organization, but how are they going to cover this up? I feel like this should become a national if not international incident.
Uncle’s Obsession with Cute Things Ep. 2
Oji’s big concern this week is that someone who works at his office saw him buy toys from a gashapon. He gets anxious about running into the guy. What a weird complex, man. I know, I know, we can’t control what mental issues plague us. But still, just a bit of rationalization would solve this problem pretty fast, don’t you think? If I saw a man buying toys, I would 1) mind my own damn business, and 2) if I really had to jump to conclusions, I would just think he was getting something for his kid. So that’s what Oji should do. If anybody asks, just say he’s buying it for his kids. If they know he doesn’t have kids, then say it’s for his niece or nephew. C’mon, bro, step your small talk game up. White lies are how we get through the days at our corporate hellholes.
As it turns out, the other guy also likes cute stuff. Oh good, maybe they can start dating or whatever and talk about the cult of cuteness.
Also, it seems like one of his coworkers has a crush on him. Yeah, there’s probably an age gap, but she’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions. I’m more concerned about the fact that she directly reports to him. Sadly, the women in the office think he has a partner simply because he brings a bento to work and he smiles at his phone. So there you go, guys. Wanna score the cute girl in the office? Don’t bring your own lunch! Waste money and eat out every day!
Super Psychic Policeman Chojo Ep. 2
The psychic cop solves more silly, low-stakes cases. In the first half of the episode, a gyaru loses her precious cat Kurosuke. This case, however, is more like a demonstration of Chojo’s other powers. For example, he can use psychometry to read the lingering thoughts left behind in inanimate objects. This somehow derails into a sequence where he and his partner Ippongi discuss the finer distinction between cat and dog poop. Why is anime so obsessed with poop, man? Since psychometry didn’t work, Chojo decides to hypnotize his partner instead. By making her think she’s catnip, she also smells like catnip? How does that work? The point, however, is that it does work. In fact, it works too well, drawing all of the neighborhood cats to the area. Still, this does get Kurosuke to show up and reunite with its gyaru owner.
The second half of the episode introduces Chojo’s friend. Our cop duo also hit up a card game tournament and meet a little boy that looks suspiciously like a certain popular card game character. What are Chojo and Ippongi doing here? Someone’s been stealing rare cards. Naturally, Chojo finds the culprit pretty quickly, earning the respect of the boy. He swears to Ippongi, however, that he is no saint, because he used the boy’s card as bait to draw out the thief.
Look, I get it: Chojo is supposed to be one of those roguish characters who are good on the inside but rough on the outside. He’s winning people over case by case. Slowly but surely, he’ll build up a fanbase of locals. But if he’s been doing this sort of thing even before Ippongi came along, then why is his reputation still so bad? Shouldn’t Chojo already have an established core of fans? I’m not trying to conjure up some big, shocking fan theory that Chojo is secretly evil or whatever. I’m just saying that the storytelling is taking shortcuts. Ippongi should be the one who finally reins Chojo in, then we get his character development. But instead, she’s learning that he’s a good guy all along, but most people nevertheless don’t like him? I don’t get it.
Red River Ep. 15
Would you believe me if I told you that Yuri gets kidnapped yet again? And it’s because she couldn’t help but investigate a problem on her own yet again? Starting from the top, a plague has been sweeping through the country, killing people left and right. When I say that, however, it doesn’t literally mean they should be dying left and right. Nevertheless, the anime shows us a picture of dead people just randomly strewn about. It’s so ridiculous. If they died from the illness, they would be in their deathbeds or whatever. There wouldn’t be a field full of people literally all over the place. But I digress. Even the king ends up succumbing to the illness, so one of Kail’s brothers ascends the throne. In the meantime, Nakia’s minion cooks up a plan using a fake Ishtar to “sully his Highness’s name.” Yuri gets it in her head for the umpteenth time that this would be a bother to Kail, so she needs to handle it herself. Yes, Kail should be grieving, not dealing with yet another pointless distraction. But Yuri is a powerless idiot, so what can she do on her own? As a result, when she confronts the imposter alone, she immediately gets thrown into a quarantine area full of sick people. The idea here is that she could naturally catch the contagious disease and die on her own. But whoops, Yuri is from the future and a country that isn’t insane, so she has all of her required vaccinations! And because she doesn’t get sick like everyone else, she must obviously be the true Ishtar. Yuri starts winning over the people, so they literally revolt and free her. See? If RFK Jr. had been sent back in time to serve as Kail’s concubine, he would’ve been long dead by now! Yuri is special!
Dark Machine the Animation Ep. 1
The Detective Is Already Dead S2 Ep. 1
This series should do two things I really like: 1) it’s supposed to be a mystery, and 2) Siesta is dead so we mostly look back on her in remembrance. “Should,” however, is the operative word. In practice, the show just feels cheap. First, we just have a guy hanging out with a bunch of girls. There are other male characters, but they’re either unimportant or villains. Like I said, it makes the world feel cheap. I can’t buy in, because I can’t shake the fact that it wants to be a harem. Second, trying to summarize the plot makes it sound zany. So there are like robots and genetically modified people and one of the girls has Siesta’s heart so she carries her will and Siesta sometimes shows up through the girl but also Hel is sealed away in the girl and the bad guys are like this plant alien lifeform and then. Most of all, I just get the feeling that Siesta will somehow come back to life one day. It’s not one of those, “We must all learn to carry on” kinda stories. Rather, you get the sense that Kimihiko’s going to get to have his cake and eat it too. But the worst part is, even when he gets Siesta back, he probably won’t have the balls to confess his feelings to her.
Anyway, as I’m watching this first episode of the season, Kimihiko and the girlies have been kidnapped by a robot who looks exactly like Siesta. The robot then launches into an explanation about how Nagisa is going to have to take over as the great detective or whatever the title is called. But then to do that, they have to find some error in a footage that Siesta had recorded? And that involves summoning Hel back into Nagisa’s body? I dunno, like I said, it’s zany, it feels cheap. I have a hard time taking the story seriously.
Dandivine Ep. 1
FX Fighter Kurumi-chan Ep. 2
Ugh, Kurumi has a serious gambling problem. Following a tip from a classmate, she starts messing around with the AUD/JPY pairing. Don’t ask me to explain it. I’m not wasting any valuable brain cells on this nonsense. All you need to know is that Kurumi ends up riding the same treacherous roller coaster as before. Number goes up, yay! Number goes down, oh no! Unfortunately, Kurumi isn’t the type to fold. She’s one of those stupid idiots who thinks her luck will inevitably rebound. It just has to! And when it doesn’t, she starts stealing from her own father to make up for her losses. Granted, he seems like he’s as good a father as he was a husband. Even so, you can’t steal, man. You can’t cross that line. It’s stupid enough to risk your own money, but at least you’re not hurting anyone else. But taking from your own family? How does she even have access to his money, you ask? Because he keeps it hidden in a drawer like an idiot, but that’s beside the point, which is that Kurumi is just repeating her mother’s mistakes. This is like watching one of those slow motion train wrecks except it’s not even all that slow!
To end on a light-hearted note, Kurumi’s dilemma reminds me of a meme I really love:
It’s the bird. The bird is doing all of the heavy-lifting. Look, I’m not saying I’d do any better than Kurumi. In fact, I wouldn’t even play. You couldn’t get me anywhere near the stock market or speculative trading.
Tetsuryou! Meet with Tetsudou Musume Ep. 1
Misaki hopes to find a hobby that she could be passionate about. She gets inspired when she sees a woman do a presentation on Japan’s westernmost railway. Welp, that sure is a topic of all topics. Nevertheless, Misaki goes on an impromptu sightseeing trip after being reminded of her wish list, which she had scribbled into a notebook during high school. By the end of the episode, she decides to join a club full of railway aficionados. How odd that there are no men in the club. I guess dudes don’t like to ride on trains and sightsee! Pfft, like I’d believe that.
Sometimes, shows just end up being one elaborate PSA in disguise for certain public utilities, and that’s the feeling I get from this anime. Yes, I know, you guys have an amazing railway system. America feels like a third world country by comparison. If anything beneficial comes of this anime, I hope it helps launch one of the seiyuu’s careers. Of course, she would have to do a bang-up job first…
I’m Looking for a Zombie Ep. 2
Watching this show is partly amusing simply because it’s just so gosh darn happy. Well, up until the somewhat bittersweet ending to this week’s episode, I suppose. The thing about zombie apocalypse stories is that they tend to be very dark for obvious reasons. I mean, c’mon, 99% of the fucking world is dead. It doesn’t get any darker than that. You get a few zombie comedies from time to time, like Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland, but even those stories involve characters having to make some tough decisions in order to survive. As a result, the scenario often attracts a certain type of weirdos — weirdos who might circlejerk about how they could so obviously survive in a world infested with the shambling undead. I’m talking about dudes who like to cosplay and take selfies in tactical gear — dudes who would read The Road and think, “Ugh, the son is such dead weight.”
Meanwhile, everyone but Yuu is happily working together. Natsuki talks about how she lost her actual family on Red Day, so she couldn’t bear to see Aki and Haru leave the village without her. If she’s going to die, she’s going to die with them. They’re her family now, and so are Sakura and Yuu. Normally, this is when a stranger comes in and disrupts the group’s harmony. In comes Mikazuki, who already has a knife brandished right from the get-go. So the gang tie her up just to be safe, but they’re still friendly with her. They still chit-chat with her, feed her, and even offer to let her stay. Even so, Mikazuki tries to impart her cynical world view on the makeshift family. She says food won’t win her over. She talks about how you have to make the first move: “You’re actually trying to enjoy this messed-up world. You’ve still got hope. We were like that, too.” But instead, they win her over.
Mikazuki leaves the next day, claiming that she intends to find her friends. When it’s Aki’s turn to be the lookout, however, she eventually sees Mikazuki shambling back to them. Yep, our stranger has become a zombie. But that’s not all. It turns out she had already been bitten when she first came to them. She was only looking for her friends because she wanted revenge. They were the “pragmatic” dorks who left her for dead. And when Mikazuki first came upon Aki and her friends, she wanted to lash out at them. Why did they get to be happy when her own friends had betrayed her? Ultimately, however, they won her over, so she left before she could turn and attack them. I think it’s only fitting that Mikazuki wears camo pants and what looks like a military-style coat. She and her friends represent the cynical dorks who fantasize about having to make the tough decision and being able to survive on their own. But when you really think about it, a catastrophic event like a zombie apocalypse means we gotta band together even more than ever. Thanks to modern conveniences, we trick ourselves into thinking we can survive on our own. That is, however, anything but the case. Rugged individualism is only for the select few. The rest of us need our communities because we are fundamentally social creatures.
In the end, even Yuu is starting to thaw. Earlier in the episode, she didn’t want to tell Aki how to develop the pictures on the latter’s camera. Yuu knew how, but she probably thought it was too dangerous. They would need to venture out of their base in order to find a photo shop. Their short and bittersweet experience with Mikazuki, however, showed Yuu that they need to do as much as they can to hold onto their humanity. And the thing is, she was the one who insisted on keeping Mikazuki tied up. She’s the one who peppered her with questions as if she was interrogating Mikazuki. If the rest of the group had been more like Yuu, Mikazuki probably wouldn’t have changed her mind about attacking them. I am by no means trying to imply that Yuu is completely wrong for being cautious. The gang needs everyone’s contribution in order to survive, and that includes a healthy dose of cynicism. But if Mikazuki can learn to trust humans again, even if only for the short time she has left, then Yuu has no excuse. She needs to warm up to the others as well. If that means putting themselves at risk to develop a few pictures, so be it.
VERTEX FORCE Ep. 2
Eleanor and Lala show up, and like the siblings, their fathers were aliens. Theians, if you need to know what the aliens are called. And like Haruka, they can also utilize the power of Engine. Just the Engine, though. They don’t get a fancy mecha like Akira. It’s also too bad that their fathers never taught them even the slightest bit of diplomacy, because Eleanor immediately pulls a gun on the siblings. The two new girls want Akira to manifest the rest of his ENIA (mecha), because they want to destroy it before it falls into EDVA’s hands. All these damn acronyms — are they even acronyms? — but take notes, because this sounds like potential foreshadowing. The reason I’m exasperated, however, is that the two new girls are approaching a pair of kids who have just survived a harrowing encounter. Akira and Haruka are probably still coming down from their battle high. The siblings also don’t really understand what the two new girls are talking about. It’s just a stupid plan to begin with. Who comes on this aggressively and thinks that it’s gonna work? Eventually, the only adult in the room, i.e., the siblings’ mother, steps in and breaks up the fight before it gets too serious.
Lala changes her tune pretty quick. After seeing Akira defend his sister with just his mecha’s arms, she totally buys into the idea that he’s their key to victory. Smacks a bit of “the chosen one” trope, though. Like I asked last week, why does Akira get to be special but the girls don’t? I especially pity the sister, who just wants to protect her little brother. Nevertheless, another one of those skeleton robots shows up. Eleanor initially fights it, but she realizes it would be better to put Akira to the test, i.e., can he call upon his mecha at will? Once again, Haruka has to start out fighting alone. Problem is, she’s fighting a battle she can’t win. The narrative needs her to lose just to put Akira in danger again. This time, the kid even gets swallowed by the enemy. Only then does the mecha come out, and this time, we get the whole shebang. That’s neat and all, but I just don’t get why the privilege to pilot a mecha has to be so pointlessly gendered?
By the end of the episode, the siblings agree to join the battle against EDVA. It looks like we’re meeting the fifth and final member next week. I don’t actually know what she looks like. Lemme scan the OP… ah, I see. She comes with a furry mascot. Every mecha show needs a furry mascot.
The Seven Knights of the Marronnier Kingdom Ep. 2
Imagine living and sleeping in one big room with only curtains to separate you from your brothers. Sheesh, no thanks. But I’m an only child, so I suppose my disdain for sharing just comes with the territory.
Anyway, it’s hard to get a good grasp on this show, because it’s kind of all over the place. Insomniac recalls a traumatic event from his childhood where he found a room full of collapsed people. Were they poisoned? He overhears a pair of nobles badmouthing his mother. It turns out she’s from the Country of Might, and they don’t want to see her consolidate power by having him marry the castellan’s daughter. But considering how this topic keeps coming up, I feel like Insomniac likely won’t marry Eleonora in the long run. The castellan tells him that each of the brothers can choose to live out the rest of their lives in other countries if they want. Being the oldest, Insomniac seemingly wants to assume all of the responsibilities so that the rest of his family won’t have to worry. Maybe his character arc will involve him letting go of this desire to sacrifice his own happiness for his siblings. Plus, the episode’s ending drops a huge hint that Eleonora probably pairs up better with Swordsman anyway.
Speaking of pairings, Hungry may have found his woman. Or rather, she’s found him even though she thinks the brothers are generally exasperating to deal with.
Chilly’s slow burn romance with Sir Bruno continues. I thought he clocked the “margrave” as a girl in disguise in last week’s episode, but maybe not? But this is the part of the episode that gets a little weird. The discussion turns to the margrave’s failed engagement talks. Chilly concludes that someone is perhaps sabotaging them. During a somewhat romantic excursion on a rowboat, Chilly starts feeling incredibly cold. Little Squirrel, who had been asleep up until this point, wakes up and has a strange look. Wait, are you telling me the fat rodent is the one sabotaging the engagement talks? Also, it has magical powers? Chilly’s hair can change colors? Finally, what’s up with the person reflected in its eyes? Is Little Squirrel really an unlucky soul who has been turned into a rodent? Welp, beats me!
Also, when are these brothers gonna finally leave for their respective destinations?
Even the Student Council Has Its Holes! Ep. 2
This week, we finally meet the oft-injured Komado. All of the girls seem to have a crush on Ume (Tan is just hungry for attention), but I won’t stick this show in Romance Roundup because I’m not feeling the love. I still think this is more of a silly show than a romantic one. In fact, I’m watching it as a challenge. I’m trying to track the number of times I laugh as I watch this show. So far, after two episodes, we’re at a big fat zero. Yup, nothing. What? Did you think a bunch of boob envy jokes would get a chuckle out of me?