If only his actions matched his words.

Ao Ashi S2 Ep. 3

Esperion plays Kashiwa, and it quickly reminds me why I rarely ever get into sports anime. These shows just exaggerate too much. Naturally, Aoi and his buddies are riding the bench as backups. The entire time, they’re just gushing over the “aura” exuding from both teams. But on the field, the difference is even more stark. Kashiwa’s players can’t help but feel as though their opponents are perfectly in sync: “They’re efficient and millimeter-perfect.” Millimeter? Really? Milli-freakin’-meter? These are kids. Some of them might look suspiciously old, but they’re still just kids playing in an amateur league. Even actual pros don’t play with such robotic precision, but we’re using these words for kids? It doesn’t make sense. Realistically, it just sounds like hogwash. But even on a meta level, it’s ridiculous to be this effusive, ’cause then what words are you gonna use when we inevitably do move to pro play? Are we gonna say they’re nanometer-perfect? Are we gonna say the pros play like a hive mind? C’mon, you gotta give yourself some wiggle room to work with.

One of the defenders gets injured, so instantly, you have to think Aoi’s coming in. This is his show, after all. But at first, Fukuda and the coaches are deliberating over whether or not to sub in Kuribayashi. After all, he has pro-level experience and talent. If you wanna win, that’s what you do. But again, these are supposed to be amateurs, so winning isn’t the only goal. Fukuda mentions how you gotta nurture talent at this level. It makes sense. Something similar occurs in baseball’s minor leagues. Yes, at every level, every team wants to win. But the real priority is getting a player ready for the pro level. As a result, a top pitching prospect might be told that he needs to develop a change-up. Yes, his fastball and slider are already elite, but you’re likely stuck as a reliever if you only have two pitches in your arsenal. So the pitching prospect goes into every game needing to throw a pitch he hasn’t mastered — a pitch that’ll likely get hammered. But nurturing is more important than winning. You still compete, but you don’t always compete with your best. So when Fukuda returns to the locker room and sees Aoi in deep contemplation, he reverses course and subs the kid in instead.

Of course, the rest of the starters don’t want Aoi to do anything except stick to spot and defend. This obviously frustrates a kid who used to be a forward. Also, he sees this as his one chance to prove himself, so if he doesn’t take advantage of it, he might never see the field again. These feelings are natural, but they’re still very selfish. He’s not being very team-oriented. At the same time, however, the starters treat him like shit, so I dunno! All that stuff about nurturing talent? I mean, it kinda gets canceled out when the older players act like complete jerks, doesn’t it? Case in point, Akutsu continues being a dick to Aoi. The kid still tries to talk to the guy. Aoi wants to know how Akutsu balances attacking and defense so “perfectly.” Akutsu’s only response is to throw the bottle of water at Aoi. What the fuck, man? Even worse, no one reprimands him. Not Fukuda, not the assistants, not the other starters, not a single fucking soul. Nurture, my ass. One of your players is bullying another player, and nobody says a fucking thing! They all act like Esperion is this well-trained, well-oiled machine, but this kind of shenanigans goes down on a daily basis! And I know Akutsu acts like this to create drama, but it just takes me out of the story! I don’t doubt that there are bullies on sports teams, but right in front of everyone? Akutsu doesn’t even have to hide his behavior!

Anyway, let’s wrap this up. The opposing team’s coach sees Aoi looking a bit shell-shocked on the field, so he probably thinks they can score if they just all attack the kid. Fukuda isn’t impressed with the rest of the bench, but the problem is that they’re just around the corner, hearing him trash them. Last but not least, still no sign of Hana. Not only is Aoi playing, but Kuribayashi can come in later. I thought she would be a little more invested than this. Or is she gonna turn up fashionably late again and give Aoi the boost he needs after Kashiwa focuses on him?

The Prince of Tennis II – U-17 World Cup Final Member Selection Match Ep. 3

I don’t have a single clue how or why anyone is losing or winning in this show. It looks like tennis, it even sounds like tennis, but it makes no sense whatsoever. Like any sport, tennis can obviously be strategic. Yes, you used to be able to hit 20+ aces en route to a 7-6, 7-6, 7-6 victory, and the B-tier guys can still sorta do that. But between the best players, you gotta rally, and that’s where the sport becomes a chess match. Take Federer, for example. His one-handed backhand is effective against 99% of the tour. The problem, however, is that Nadal was a lefty. As a result, cross-court rallies would pit Nadal’s insanely high topspin forehand against Federer’s backhand. It’s hard to return a heavy shot that also bounces up to around your shoulders. Federer is no short dude; he’s just over six feet tall.

Now, don’t get me wrong. By no means was this tactic an auto-win. But over the course of a long five-set match, Nadal would slowly build up an advantage. The situation changed, however, towards the end of Federer’s career. As he neared retirement, he no longer had the legs to sustain longer rallies. He took more risks as a result. He would flatten out his shots and go bigger. This gave Nadal less time to dig into rallies. Also, all the years on tour — and the various injuries — meant Nadal’s defense was no longer stubbornly godly. At the end of his career, he was simply really, really good. And look, I know Prince of Tennis isn’t going for realism, but man, even if you use goofy ass names for your stupid shots or defense, I should at least be able to say x won against y because of i, j, and k reasons. I don’t think I can do that with this show.

Ace of the Diamond act II -Second Season- Ep. 2

Some hard-hitting analysis in this episode: “His batting average is higher than last year. And when he gets on base, he usually comes home to score.” I was hoping for a little more depth than this. Something like, “Hey, his batting average is slightly lower on the outer half of the plate” or “He saw my breaking ball and didn’t swing at it, so maybe he’s looking fastball.” Well, the batter gets a hit off the next pitch (fastball), so he was definitely sitting on it. Maybe the pitcher and catcher should’ve thought more carefully about their pitch selection. But this is what you do. This is why baseball is such a mind game. It’s not a free-flowing sport. You can break every game down into discrete events and analyze them in isolation.

But I should’ve figured the show would be like this when the third batter in the lineup comes up with a man on second and one out, and proceeds to do a drag bunt. You don’t tell the third batter in the lineup to bunt! Not with one out already! C’mon! You gotta give him a chance to get the hit, and there’s already a good chance that he moves the runner to third with a normal swing! If he’s not good enough to get a hit in that scenario, he shouldn’t be batting third! I’d understand doing this with the bottom of the lineup, but your third hitter? That’s like telling Freddie Freeman to bunt! But this is the problem with baseball anime. I don’t watch a lot of them in general, because they try too hard to be clever.

People really like to glorify small ball, because they think it makes them look like a strategic genius or whatever. After the Brewers swept the Dodgers, I’m sure this inclination is stronger than ever. But the Brewers out-homered the Dodgers. Nothing has changed.