Um, phrasing.
TANK CHAIR Ep. 6
After a lot of hemming and hawing, because big bro wanted his little sister to leave him behind and live her own life, Shizuka eventually convinces Nagi that they should team up to take down Sensei. But they need more firepower, so they seek out the seemingly reclusive Dr. Radio, a scientist responsible for all of Nagi’s armaments. Problem is, they (she?) don’t really want to see them. So a good chunk of the episode is just the siblings racing through all of Dr. Radio’s defense and traps. Because the show is so action-heavy, there isn’t really much else to say. I guess I’m curious how Shizuka survived the Academy. She was considered the worst of the worst, so Sensei would’ve disposed of her. Of course, I’m sure Nagi is involved, but how? But for now, the story won’t tell us. And maybe we’ll never find out until the kids fight their way back to Sensei, something, something, full circle.
Mission: Yozakura Family S2 Ep. 17
Hmm, these episodes are starting to bore me. We’re just stretching things out. Rather than fight Momo, they gotta get their siblings back. But both Futaba and Shinzo are resisting with all their might. So now they gotta fight, then they gotta figure out why those two are on Momo’s side if it’s not due to a parasite or brainwashing, and eh… I’m not that interested. Momo hasn’t been a very compelling villain. There are no interesting new twists, nor is there any compelling character development. I’m just left wondering if this conflict against Momo is going to take up the entire season.
Uncle’s Obsession with Cute Things Ep. 6
First, we get to see Oji take cooking classes so he can bake muffins for his nephew Masumi’s upcoming 20th birthday. That’s sweet, I guess. But this reminds me that we know relatively nothing about this kid. He’s been living with his uncle for a while now, hasn’t he? Why does it seem like he has no friends his own age?
The next part of the episode also involves Masumi. Apparently, cats just love him. As a result, that Naruto guy — the mean manager at Oji’s workplace — asks for some advice. Masumi doesn’t really have an answer, but he thinks his jeans might be the reason why cats love him. Jeans? Really? Even worse, Naruto is too embarrassed to go shopping in a trendy store on his own. Man, these adult men are pathetic. Usually, as people get older, they stop giving a fuck. But the dudes on this show are so neurotic. He basically has to beg a kid half his age to be his chaperone for buying jeans.
In the final story of the episode, Oji wins tickets to a stage show, but he isn’t sure who to take. Sigh… they’re gutless and indecisive. There are absolutely things we should be embarrassed about. We should shame anyone who litters to hell and back. But the whole point of being an adult is that we get to define ourselves and our own value systems. If you can’t even muster up the courage to buy jeans, then you really have no business calling anyone else childish.
Super Psychic Policeman Chojo Ep. 6
There’s a cherry blossom festival, but Ippongi spends most of it trying to keep Inukai away from Chojo. Why? Because the superintendent might act creepy. That’s… basically the whole episode. The thing is, the guys end up running into each other anyway, but Inukai is perfectly fine. They have some yakuza thugs to beat up, and the superintendent is more than capable of doing his job without being a weirdo. Meh. I guess someone out there finds this show funny. For me, the joke falls flat, and the anime doesn’t have anything else going for it.
Red River Ep. 19
What a whirlwind of events. We also end with a tragedy. First, Urhi somehow survives an arrow to the fucking eye. I guess people back then were simply made of sterner stuff! Meanwhile, Yuri’s brilliant plan to prevent a war gets her and her horse tossed into a — get this — red river! The only thing I’m worried about is whether or not the horse survives. Luckily, Aslan might as well be a main character at this point, because it has just as much plot armor as Yuri.
Unfortunately, the girl gets kidnapped again. This time, Ramses is the culprit. Dude, how many times has this happened by now? I’ve stopped counting. This must be the most kidnapped girl in the history of not just anime but any media to have ever existed!
Sadly, this precipitates a chain of unfortunate reactions. Hearing the bad news, Kail immediately goes to rescue her. Wanting all of this to die down, Ursula takes the bullet and claims she was the one who murdered the king. Sadly, like a lot of people, Ursula believes in the greatness of singular individuals instead of the power of the collective might. As a result, she happily sacrifices her life if it would mean Yuri gets to be queen alongside Kail. It’s utterly ridiculous.
Yuri is still tied up, so she can’t save her. Kail literally doesn’t know what’s happening, and nobody is willing to tell him. They’ve all collectively decided that Ursula needs to die in order to put Kail on the throne. And just like that, the girl gets hanged. Fucking hell. If your ascendance to the crown requires killing an innocent person, then you don’t really deserve it. He’s not a murderer, but his servants definitely are.
DARK MACHINE THE ANIMATION Ep. 5
Tuesdays just have the most mediocre shows, so we’re moving right along to this poorly-conceived anime. The fridge breaks down, so all of the food is spoiled. Yeah, it doesn’t look like this, with all the weird purple gunk oozing out everywhere. But anime’s gonna anime. Kairi is tasked with buying more food for the restaurant, which allows him to bump into Aluk. For some reason, he’s instantly obsessed with her, but she’s his next opponent. She says something about how she lost her home to climate change, and she’s fighting to survive in the new world. It’s all super shallow stuff. But then she asks Kairi what he’s fighting for and… of course we don’t get to find out what motivates the main fucking character.
Kairi eventually finds himself in a match against Aluk’s team, and like always, they’re losing after the first half. They’ve always trailed after the first half. When have they ever been ahead? Nevertheless, the story wants you to believe that this is due to Kairi being hesitant against Aluk as well as not knowing what he’s fighting for. So Rudra tosses him into the sea to let him have a think. He thinks about what he’s really after, aaaaaaaand… of course we don’t get to find out what conclusion he comes to. God forbid we understand the main character after five fucking weeks of this shit show.
Kairi comes back with renewed determination, so Carbuncle comes from behind yet again and defeats Aluk’s team. Ugh, this is getting so old. Kairi tries to meet up with Aluk once more, but she leaves him hanging. What did he expect? A love connection? But what did we even get out of this episode? We learn nothing new about any of the main characters. Aluk is… what is she? Is she gonna be a love interest or just a one-off character? And what am I supposed to take away from the climate change revelation? This show sucks. We keep getting these bullshit shows that don’t really have a story. They just have one or two major revelations, then they tease you with them for 95% of the season.
The Detective Is Already Dead S2 Ep. 5
The whole time Char was having this emotional breakthrough moment with robo-Siesta-but-not-really-because-it-turns-out-it’s-the-same-body-as-real-Siesta-just-with-an-artificial-heart-but-it-has-Siesta’s-memories-but-it’s-still-not-quite-her…. yeah, these twists are getting dumber and dumber by the episode. Anyway, as I was saying, they’re having this emotional breakthrough moment, but Fuubi isn’t onscreen. We didn’t see her body, so I’m like, “Duh, she’s gonna suddenly interrupt the emotional breakthrough moment with a gunshot.” And guess what? That’s exactly what happens!
Then we get a 1v4 that echoes every “friendship is power” storyline that has ever been done. No, we will not sacrifice anyone to save the world. We are friends forever! So Kimihiko reveals that he has… sigh, swallowed Chameleon’s seed. This thus gives him the power to punch a woman in the face. Crisis over. Oh yeah, he then gives this triumphant speech about how he swears to bring Siesta back one day. Okay. Bet you anything he still won’t confess to her when she’s back, though.
Dandivine Ep. 5
I don’t really care that it takes the entire episode for Suruga to realize that Gekiha is Dandivine’s pilot. Clearly, the show thinks this gag is funny, so it really leans into it. Do I find it funny? Meh. My problem is that it doesn’t feel like anyone knows anything. Gekiha asks his uncle’s former boss about the Aposdolls, but the old man hasn’t got a clue. So you guys have just been fighting this enemy for decades without understanding a single thing about them? The thing is, no one knows anything.
Every time a kaiju attacks and the city transforms, we see a bunch of people in a location where they’re monitoring the situation. I don’t think Gekiha has made contact with these people even once. They’re fighting on the same side, but there’s literally no communication between the two sides.
And of course, we still have the toymakers and their subplot shunted off to the side. Again, they have no connection to the main characters either.
This week, we seemingly introduce yet another wrinkle: Gekiha’s kid sister Kirei joins an unofficial fanclub for Aposdolls. So… is this going to build up to anything? Are we going to see the siblings throw down? Or is this also a subplot unrelated to, well, everything?
Anyway, during this week’s kaiju battle of the week, Gekiha takes a devastating blow for Suruga, so he gets badly hurt. This is the only reason Suruga even uncovers the true identity of Dandivine’s pilot. Okay, sure. So how long is it gonna take Akane to find out the truth?
I will say one thing, though: Gekiha could’ve taken his best friend’s advice and spilled the beans. He holds back, however, because he wants Akane to love him for him and not because he’s the mecha pilot. This is hardly original, but in a show with little to enjoy, I guess I can respect his honorable intentions.
Tetsuryou! Meet with Tetsudou Musume Ep. 5
Misaki and Usa try to get to know each other better by touring the Yokohama railway. Truthfully, I don’t care about trains or train stations. As a result, all the info goes in one ear and out the other. So what did they do this episode? I dunno, stuff. Lots of stuff. Nothing that makes me personally want to see the Yokohama railway for myself. If I ever get the privilege to visit Japan, it would only be for one or two weeks at most. And I doubt I’d try to fit a railway tour in there.
The Vermilion Mask Ep. 5
Whoops, my last write-up mistook Tina for Lasgarl. Lasgarl is the crazy lady who is hellbent on killing the pink woman, a.k.a. Sona. Tina is the poor girl who has the mask of telepathy stuck on her face. I should’ve figured. Lasgarl is way too exotic of a name for a simple little girl.
Anyway, the operation to save her is underway, and it’s quite difficult to hide someone like Tina. Your thoughts get voiced out loud simply by being near her, so Mok and Sona have the damndest time trying to elude Lasgarl and the mafia.
Meanwhile, Peru faces off against the clown man. Sorry, I have no better name for him. I literally checked the show’s official site, and his name is simply Clown. Well, alright. Plus, this is the part of the episode that really took me out of the story. At one point, clown man puts on the Mask of Balloons. He then conjures balloon animals that can explode. Alright, now you’re just taking the piss. All seriousness has just gone out the window, so he follows that up with the Mask of Cannons. It allows him to literally shoot his minions out of cannons at Peru, forcing the kid to use the Mask of Spider to protect them with his webs. This is too silly for me.
In the end, Tina has to choose between her mother and the mafia lady. Pretty easy choice, right? Well, the girl thinks her own mother hates her. So what does Peru do? First, he takes a blow from a dagger meant for her. Then, while bleeding, he dispenses with some sage advice. Finally, Tina chooses her mother… by simply taking out a dagger and shattering her mask with it. Wait, you can just do that?! Why she didn’t do this from the beginning?! Because she thought the mask was too important to destroy or something? Girl, c’mooooooon.
So Mok can just do the same, right? Nope. Apparently, he’s been wearing his mask for too long, so it wouldn’t work. That’s convenient.
I’m Looking for a Zombie Ep. 6
No new episode this week. They ran out of zombies.
HORROR COLLECTOR Ep. 5
Ah yes, it’s my favorite child-killing show of the week. The first ghost story features a Bloody Mari who tries to get a poor girl to say her name thirteen times. Fushigi manages to save the girl, but he doesn’t get the curse mark thanks to Jimmy shattering the mirror. This just means Bloody Mari “survives” to find another victim. Plus, who knows how many kids it has killed until now?
The second ghost story is about a girl who is in love with a boy, but she’s a ghost. At first, this seems pretty innocent. She just wants to see cherry blossoms with her crush. What’s wrong with that? Unfortunately, she’s actually a murderous cherry blossom tree who lures people in in order to consume their blood. Yeah, I never knew cherry blossom trees could be so evil or, well, so carnivorous. This time, Fushigi shows up late, so the boy is already dead. I dunno, it just kinda sucks to watch. I don’t even like kids. Never plannin’ on having any. But watching them die like this? Eh… I’ve said this before, but I’m kinda turned off from this show. The overarching story isn’t good enough to override all the child murderin’.
Speaking of the overarching story, Jimmy still has that stupid AI cat. He also still hasn’t told Fushigi what he heard about the kid potentially dying from absorbing too many curse marks. And at the end of this week’s episode, Jimmy is told that he’ll turn into a monster one day… which he also won’t tell Fushigi about. And that’s it. That’s all the character and plot development we get. See? It’s just not enough. A couple seasons back, there was the show with the preschool girl who could exorcise ghosts. I think that was a far stronger show than this one. Fushigi simply doesn’t have a personality, and the bits and pieces that we see of his sister or the Blue Umbrella Man aren’t exactly tantalizing.
VERTEX FORCE Ep. 6
The kids head to what they think is an abandoned island in order to find some food and supplies. They quickly learn, however, that there’s still a father-daughter duo living here. Not only that, these two stayed behind in order to protect a pregnant cat. This obviously bolsters Akira’s belief in humanity. He isn’t supposed to bring out his mecha, but later in the episode, he ultimately decides that he has to in order to prevent a landslide from killing both the girl and the cat. As a result, he draws EDVA’s attention to the island. This show would be a lot more compelling if EDVA had any cogent argument to offer up, but she’s just a broken record. She simply repeats over and over that Akira’s actions are illogical. Big yawn. Not interesting. I know this premise isn’t exactly original, but the story should at least try to offer up a decent ideological debate. But EDVA’s arguing against a kid and she still has nothing for us to chew on.
Akira’s determination to protect humanity by defending the girl and the cat leads to him unlocking a new power. Then right before the episode ends, EDVA tries to drop a massive nuke. But at this point, I think she’s just testing Akira to see how much stronger he can become. She might have previously wanted ENIA back no matter what, but maybe it now makes more sense to just steal the kid as well if he can master the mecha.
The girls don’t get to do much of anything in this week’s episode.
The Seven Knights of the Marronnier Kingdom Ep. 6
We finally get some important reveals this week. Why do the spirits want Insomniac so badly? They think he can prevent a disaster from recurring. Who can say, however, if they’re right? Regardless, Insomniac has no intention of staying. He cares way too much about his brothers, but that’s also just the justification he’s willing to voice out loud. I’m sure there are other reasons why he might want to return home.
We also learn that he has the ability to put people to sleep. That traumatic incident from his past? Apparently, people were shit-talking his mother, so he put them all to sleep probably in anger. He does it again this week in order to protect Eleonora from a bunch of soldiers being mind-controlled by the spirits. But now what? If they want to go home, then just go home, right? But it feels like this arc can’t end without some big… I dunno, confrontation. But like Eleonora says, she might be a good fighter, but she still can’t fight spirits.
Speaking of Insomniac and Eleonora, their slow-developing relationship is starting to get frustrating to watch. He doesn’t know that she’s happy about their betrothal, and she thinks he only agreed to it out of… what? An obligation to her father? I thought his actions in the past couple of episodes had made it pretty clear that he likes her, but her tomboyish nature is getting in the way. She doesn’t think he means any of the affectionate things he says. She freaks out from simply sharing the same bed with him, and they’re supposed to get married. Bah.
Even the Student Council Has Its Holes! Ep. 6
There was only really one part of the episode that interested me, and you can probably guess which part. After the credits, we get to see how Komaro copes without her parents, which is to say not very well at all. She still somehow aces her tests, but she gets no praise for it. The student who merely gets an 86, however, gets words of encouragement. Sure, I get the rationale: someone who isn’t perfect needs the pep talk. But that only applies in a vacuum. As a teacher, if you assume that a student is perfectly fine just because she doesn’t make any mistakes, then, well, you’re just not a very empathetic person.
Anyway, I kept waiting for the punchline to come, but it never did. Komaro simply goes from a colorless world to a colorful one when Ume shows up. The metaphor is a bit trite, but at least the scene has heart. Everything else in the episode was just… eh, the same usual lewd humor that doesn’t really strike my funny bone.
According to Satomi, Ume has read Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Even more interesting than that is the fact that One Hundred Years of Solitude is strangely a hit in Japan. It’s a bit peculiar, but at the same time, I can’t say that I’m surprised? It really does seem like the sort of story that would appeal to Japanese readers.
Everything else about everything else:
Oh sweet, we’re going to get a new season and a new movie of Spy x Family.
I’ve been playing through the Ocarina of Time remake. What fascinates me most about these massive visual upgrades is just seeing how they bring new life to small, relatively unimportant areas of the game. I’m basically examining every single room or house with a fine-tooth comb. As for the gameplay itself, I mean… it’s more or less the same game as the original that I played back in… ’98, was it?