In this week’s episode, we’re going to spend a lot of time getting to know Grumpy! Say hi, Grumpy! Y’see, Grumpy isn’t very trusting. After all, he once lost a very special goddess in his life when she fell off a cliff. Now, you might be wondering why a goddess is even endangered by falling off a cliff. In fact, how can a goddess even die! Well Billy, this is the same anime in which Zeus has jurisdiction over gods from both Japanese and Norse mythology, so your questions are just plain stupid! To continue with the story, a goddess falling off a cliff didn’t exactly turn Grumpy’s heart to stone by itself. Nuh-uh, it was in fact the accusations he had to endure from those around him! Yeah, people literally thought that a lil’ shota Grumpy suddenly decided to push his caretaker off a cliff. As a result, Grumpy now hates everyone’s guts.

Unfortunately, we can’t have Grumpy hating everyone’s guts. After all, if he hates everyone’s guts, he won’t join any of the clubs, and that would be a total shame! I’ve watched a lot of anime, and if there’s anything I’ve learned from anime, it’s that high school clubs are the bestest thing ever. In fact, you may as well commit suicide if you can’t join one! As a result, Thoth slams poor Yui up against the wall for the umpteenth time and demands that she find some way to drag Grumpy kicking and screaming into a club.

This is a difficult task at first, since Grumpy has no desire to befriend anyone at this creepy garden that Zeus has erected for the bishies. After all, he isn’t a trusting person, so he naturally thinks that Yui is ultimately looking out for herself. Nevertheless, the two of them find a common interest: they both love swinging the hell out of some wooden sticks. Therefore, Grumpy challenges Yui to a swordfighting contest. If she wins, he’ll join a club. But if he wins, she may never bother him again!

Right before the duel begins, for some reason, Yui has to explain to Grumpy what a bamboo sword is, and how it’s commonly used in the Japanese martial art of kendo. Huh, the Japanese god Susanoo doesn’t know what kendo is… go figure! In any case, the duel begins and we are treated to a beautifully choreographed swordfight in which the two characters lift their sticks up and down, and the camera never strays from their profile. Amazing! In the end, Grumpy wins, but he is so impressed by Yui’s idiotic bravery. As a result, he offers to have her train with him day and night. Wow, such generosity.

We are then treated to a montage of the two of them running various locales and falling asleep in class. Yes, this montage is literally a minute long, has no dialogue, and barely has any animation! Kamigami no Asobi is definitely pulling out all the stops to deliver a revolutionary visual experience. One day, however, it starts to rain. Despite this, Yui decides to go run anyway. When she spots Grumpy in the middle of her reckless exercise, she pauses to wave at him. A landslide then occurs right at her very feet! Uh oh, this seems familiar!

Grumpy bravely dives for the poor girl, and in doing so, his wild emotions frees him from his shackles! Remember, Zeus had sealed all of the bishie’s powers in the second episode. As a result, none of them can use their divine powers… until now. This is what a transformed Grumpy looks like:

Wow, what a beefcake! Zeus, however, is pissed! How dare a bishie break free from the shackles that I have placed upon him! Doesn’t this bishie realize that he belongs to me! The tyrannical Greek god thus demands that Grumpy apologize or else. Or else what, you ask? Or else he’ll be expelled! DUN DUN DUN! Wait, isn’t this what the bishes want? Don’t they want to leave this creepy island run by a creepy old man and the rapey Thoth? That’s when Zeus informs the bishies of the little twist: when you get expelled, you become a statue in Zeus’s collection… forever!

Hey man, he used to rape woman left and right, so this is pretty mild in comparison…

In the end, Grumpy is just about to apologize when Yui suddenly interrupts him. She then argues that Grumpy had done nothing wrong. In fact, he was only trying to save her! Zeus still refuses to budge. In fact, he asks the girl, “You intend to defy me, human girl?” Yui then argues that of all the gods here, Zeus is the one who understands humanity the least! Gasp, such indignation! In the face of such amazing logic, Zeus is forced to relent, thereby withdrawing his demands for Grumpy’s apology. Finally, all is well in the land of the bishies.