This is the most groanworthy episode yet.

— Nagate rushes to Izana’s side, and she’s seriously injured. You can tell, because the monitor says “Serious Injury.” And yet, we don’t get to see any of those serious injuries. It’s not that I’m a fiend for gore or anything like that. It’s just that the anime lacks weight. People lose their lives in this anime, but it’s represented merely as portraits turning red. Likewise, Izana is in danger of losing both of her limbs, but we can’t even see this. Of course not. Even if they’re in great pain, girl characters are only there to look cute. We can’t maim them or anything! Otherwise, their cuteness would plummet and that’s… that’s just anti-anime!

— The character designs are related to that. The guys get to look old or ugly. They get to have big noses and varying jawlines. Not so much with the ladies! They, on the other hand, always look young and boobilicious! I suspect the only reason Lala looks like a bear is because she’s supposed to be an older woman character who cares for Nagate like a grandmother. As such, it would’ve been weird to give her such a baby face. But Samari? Kobayashi? You all get to hot babes!

— Why have none of the characters noticed that Norio is, well, not as much of an asshole anymore?

— And when Ochiai took over the entire Kunato family, I thought he would do some sinister shit. Maybe that will come later, but everything is just so boring and unthreatening nowadays. For instance, Nagate bumps into the brainwashed sister in a tunnel, and she just giggles as she talks about Tsumugi’s recovery.

— In any case, Izana did end up losing her limbs. She could’ve regrown them, but she decided against it. She opted for prosthetics instead. now she gets to be robot moe along with androgynous moe.

— Nagate’s mind is blown just thinking about the handjobs he’s about to get.

— The two of them go to visit Tsumugi, and they find that the other Sidonian inhabitants have left the chimera a bunch of flowers and well wishes. Narrative-wise, there’s nothing wrong with this per se. But like always, the story doesn’t push it far enough. It would be one thing if there was potentially anything dangerous about Tsumugi in the first place, but personality-wise, she’s been just another cheerful shoujo through and through. She’s just another girl character who wants to protect her tomodachis. The fact that she’s a pink-talking, penis-shaped appendage doesn’t change any of that. Remember when the Gaunas would claim its victims, then assume their shapes? And this was what it had looked like. Well, that was 100% Gauna. I don’t expect 50% Gauna to look just as threatening. But the thing is, Tsugumi isn’t even 1% of that!

Point is, there isn’t that edge that’s missing when you imagine people slowly warming up to some alien chimera. After all, Tsumugi is supposed to be literally half Gauna, a.k.a. the same Gaunas that have been hunting humanity relentlessly for the past thousand of years. Unfortunately, you don’t see or feel that part of the equation. There’s no undercurrent of danger to her character whatsoever. I’m not saying that Tsumugi has to be evil in any way whatsoever, but by making her character lean so heavily in the shoujo department, this whole scene is rendered one dimensional. Hell, Lennie ain’t even half-alien or anything. He’s all human, and he just wants to pet the cute animals. Even so, you know he’s capable of danger and that’s what makes his character interesting. I don’t feel that from our chimera.

— These girls show up to invite Nagate to eat some food, but they don’t even acknowledge Izana’s existence. That’s cold, bruh. It’s okay, though, because these two proceed to disappear from the rest of the episode and contribute nothing whatsoever to the narrative.

— Apparently, some of the colonists are still alive? We’ll see. Hopefully. In fact, I would even like to see what their colonization efforts are like. I hope they don’t run into any bipedal cockroaches.

— Kobayashi is the only person who seems to be doing anything shady these days, but her moments in the second season are few and far between.

— Nagate is supposed to be moping and everything, because Tsumugi has yet to recover. Lala even compares the hero to his grandfather and the great burden that the latter had to carry. But nothing really comes of this… I still don’t see much of Nagate’s personality, and I certainly don’t see the burden that he carries. And that depression?

— It’s quickly dispelled as our pink penis alien is doing better than ever! Just look at the guy beam!

— He even dreams of his former “ex.” I like how in his own dreams, she covers herself up. How nice of her to protect her modesty lest any child is watching this show.

— Ugh. You honestly have to see the scene to feel the true brunt of its groanworthiness. Tsumugi’s limbs flail as she squeals with utter embarrassment, because the hero is hugging her. How hazukashii~~~~~

— Then Izana drops by with a cat in her arms, but our Lennie won’t pet the shit out this cute animal. Nope, you should know by now that there’s nothing remotely dangerous about anything anymore in Knights of Sidonia. This, for instance, is just another cute moment, because ultimately we can’t escape anime. In space, no one can hear you uguu.

— Elsewhere, the narrative tries to play up the idea that shit will go down when Sidonia eventually has to tango with the large hive cluster lurking nearby. But after the last few episodes, I can’t help but just shrug. I’m sure our heroes will be fine, and sure, some faceless nobodies will die, but the girl characters will emerge from any potential conflict even more moe than ever and that’s all that truly matters.

— At some point, Tsumugi gets moved to another room, but it’s even more isolated from the rest of Sidonian society. As a result, Nagate and Izana tries to ask Yuhata if their alien tomodachi could just… just come visit the residential area! C’mon, be nice!

— We later see the two of them walking and climbing through Sidonia’s ridiculous series of tunnels… tunnels that do what, exactly?

— Sidonia has to decelerate, though. And the problem is that neither Nagate nor Izana have harnessed themselves. Now, in the first season, this would have led to some serious injuries. Remember this? Well, this is not the first season. And in the second season, what we get instead is this. Ho ho, how wacky!

— What are these two doing? Why are they risking their lives? Why, it’s so the pink penis can have a good look at the residential tower!

— Later, Nagate returns to his room to find that he’s been kicked out of his dorms. As such, he has to turn to Izana for help. Maybe she shouldn’t have the camera turned on when she’s in the middle of bathing… or is such a thing not possible in this universe? Even so, cue more blushing and embarrassment as Nagate potentially just saw her naked!!!

— Seriously, though, what the fuck happened to my dystopian sci-fi show?