I don’t know what to watch or if there’s even anything worth watching. I haven’t seen a single PV or even so much as read more than a couple synopses. As a result, I’m really going into these shows blind. So I’m just going to do a couple “first impressions” a day until (hopefully) I find something I’d be interested in blogging weekly. Alright then, first up is…
• Well, doesn’t that look super already? But hey, you can’t judge a book by its cover. I’ll stick it out for at least an episode.
• I don’t “get” idols. I mean, it seems to violate that very simple rule of “Less is more.” The stage is overly designed and tacky, there are way too many singers, too many dancers, too many girls and personalities to keep track of, the song is one monotonous and homogenized mess, etc. And with these many girls in one group, how can one help not reducing these girls down to a set of impersonal descriptors like a girl’s birthday or her blood type just to keep heads or tails of them all? Those are things people parrot to claim they know someone, but you don’t really know someone just because you memorized a bunch of facts on a cue card, y’know?
• But anyway, I guess the premise of the show is that some girl’s fancy high school will shut down and this will severely impact her chances of having a “shining high school life.” But I can’t really complain about this too much. After all, I’ve been tainted by the ironic cynicism of Western culture. I mean, if you’ve ever seen Western shows about high school, gone are the saccharine days of Saved By the Bell. High school shows are typically about the social outcasts — the Freaks and Geeks. It’s all about how high school can be such a cruel place, but don’t get me wrong… friends will still pull together to make those years oh-so-special!
On the other hand, there are exceptions, but in general, it feels as though anime takes a very cheerful, wide-eyed look at high school as, well, the most glorious thing that will ever be. And while not every anime out there extols the virtues of high school, very few seem to criticize anything about it other than the fact that, well, sometimes there are jerks… usually street punks who never attend class and have darker skin than the rest of us goody two-shoes. Oh, I’m sure there are manga series out there to address exactly what I’m talking about. Maybe it’s just the case that they rarely get adapted by the studios.
• Oh no: “The current first-years will never have a class below them.”
• Is the school really gonna disappear? The student council replies, “It’s none of your concern.” Oh this one dimensional writing! Why have I been subjected to this?!
• In these shows, the girl with orange-ish hair is always a ditz and the girl with long, black hair is always the serious one who tries to keep her friends in line. I mean, what makes the orange-haired girl any different from her ditzy predecessors other than the placement of the yellow ribbon?
• UTX High School sounds like some kind of form-compliant motherboard.
• School idols are apparently the key to saving the high school. Why is this show about a girl-only school though? C’mon, let’s be honest. If anything, school idols would attract mostly guys, and not necessarily under-18 guys either. That’s definitely the attention you want surrounding a girls-only high school. But hey, what can I say? Again, I come from a culture where we live vicariously through our football athletes, and if you suck, 40-year-old men are gonna let you hear about it on the Internet. YOU SUCK TE’O, LEARN TO TACKLE!
• It’s almost as if the show is devoid of the male sex to keep the idea of school idols pure and innocent. And some blowhard will chime in and go “Hurr, it’s an anime, it’s like you’ve never even seen an anime before!” But yeah, I don’t think this show merits another viewing. Oh, typical high school plot: “Our awesome club won’t be approved! Will the story end before it even begins?!” Student government is the most powerful force in anime. Alright, onto our next show…
• I see that our heroine is from the Ministry of Silly Hats.
• All the boys are aces. Aces in the hole. What hole? This is dirty now.
• Burning house. The clear night sky. Now I’m drowning. Hand reaching up. No one to save me.
This anime is like a poem. A shitty poem.
• Anime bishies love chokers. Every bishie wants to look like he just walked out of a bondage shop.
• Amnesia is generally a pretty lazy story device. I’m not saying that this anime is automatically bad or anything — that remains to be seen. It’s just that amnesia is so often used as a way to withhold information so that certain developments seem more impactful than they really should be.
• So far, the premise seems to be about an amnesiac with crazy eyes — and her hot male friends all have crazy eyes as well — who is the only person who can talk to and see some weird, navel-bearing
anime boy spirit. The spirit has crazy eyes too. And he kinda looks like a bee if you squint your eyes. Yeah, not exactly a rocking premise so far.
• It ain’t just you:
• She can’t go to the hospital or seek professional help. In fact, our heroine will even forget how to breathe if she goes to the hospital. Yep, this show takes the phrase “remembering to breathe” quite literally. No no no no, the only way to cure this case of amnesia is to hang out with… friends… so like every other day in one’s life.
• I-it’s like I have amnesia or something:
• Our heroine works at some hoity-toity cafe that doesn’t just have meidos, but butlers too. Hot butlers. Hot butlers with crazy eyes and chokers. So of course, all the female patrons are super envious (clearly evident by their lack of crazy eyes) of our heroine and her slave wage, because c’mon, she gets to work with hot bishies. Bitches be hella jealous. So emotional and jealous. But fear not, dear viewer ’cause we all know you’re not like those girls. You’re different. You’re special. Like our heroine. Now go pen me a fanfiction novel about how these hot bishies are really more into each other than the heroine herself. Unless the girl’s you. It’s you, isn’t it?
• Uguu, she’s so lucky:
• That’s hot:
I mean, as long as it’s a hot guy, of course. If it had been a fat, balding manager straddling you, then it’s obviously sexual harassment. There’s a fine (hair)line between the two scenarios that you must delicately tiptoe around.
• Holy moly, look at this guy’s outfit:
“Shut up, ma! I’m getting ready for work!… ugh, you made me lose my place. Now I gotta redo all my belts!” Killer checkerboard leggings underneath that coat too.
• He wears glasses, so of course he’ll reference a physicist in everyday conversation.
• By the way, I’m not sure if our heroine has made a single decision on her own yet, but I’m sure the amnesia is to blame. Good thing all these cute guys are here to help her.
• So anyway, that was pretty barftastic. I may watch a couple more episodes though just for comedic value, but I honestly can’t see this show being any good.
• I was going to do more shows, but… after watching a few minutes each of Zettai Karen Children THE UNLIMITED and Senran Kagura, I decided I needed a break. We’ll do this again tomorrow (hopefully).