Oh my, the Coupling potential…
Episode summary: Both the Imperial Army and the National Army of Zogilia are in hot pursuit of Cygnus. Meanwhile, Elvira lectures our pretty boys on the dangers of promiscuity, i.e. they can’t just go Coupling around unprotected or their Emphater waveforms will be forever damaged! Finally, the enemy manages to catch up to our heroes, but Aoba and Dio utilize their magical spearhead attack once more to defeat the pink-haired villain. I’d use his name but he’s already dead after just two episodes so who cares? Alfred then sends his squadron to attack the Cygnus, but gives them the retreat orders as soon as the good guys attempt to escape by entering a storm. Unfortunately, Hina is so hellbent on restoring her honor that she disobeys Alfred’s commands. In a struggle with Aoba, they both lose control of their mechas and plummet into the storm.
• The anime had just told us last week that Dio and Fromm used to be in the same Coupling training program (it sounds strange when you write it out like that…). Nevertheless, Buddy Complex feels the need to show us what those days in training were like. Yes, showing is better than telling… so naturally, I have to ask why we didn’t get to see this scene last week. ‘Cause right after the OP, we’re right back to the present day. In fact, we don’t even revisit the past once for the rest of the episode. In other words, the cold opening was nothing more than a gigantically redundant waste of time.
• Lene: “Coincidentally, the enemy is also trying to use propaganda.” Lemme guess… it’s good propaganda when the heroes attempt to “rally the troops,” so to speak, but when the evil guys do it, it’s baaaaad. But y’know what, at least Zogilia didn’t make its officers strip down to their swimsuits. Hm, maybe that’s what makes Zogilia the antagonists of the series! They’re not willing to sexually objectify their women! Instead, you just see marching mechas and pink-haired men delivering inspiring speeches. Those cunning bastards!
• Did my subs just slide down to its proper location after the scrolling text had gone away? Wow, so fancy.
• Heh, the Gae Bolg won’t be defeated by some swan…
• Hey look, the enemy ship is using its electronic sensors! Quick, use your electronic jammers! Hey look, the enemy ship is releasing some sort of wave on the radar. Quick, neutralize the wave! D-does anyone actually find these scenes interesting to watch? Have these scenes ever been interesting to watch? These scenes on the bridge are practically required for any wannabe mecha show, but I’ve never ever been impressed by them. Not once. They’re always incredibly dry and incredibly lacking of any sort of action. It’s almost always just a bunch of people in a room screaming at their computer screens.
• So we can see that Coupling used to give people mental illnesses. Hell, I would’ve thought a mental illness was required in order to come up with this gimmick to begin with.
• So you need to find candidates with the potential to closely match their Emphater waveforms with the standard waveform, whatever that means. I mean, who discovered the standard waveform to begin with? But whatever… So the closer you get to the standard waveform, the greater your combat abilities will become during a Coupling session… or something. But Aoba is special! For no particular reason whatsoever, he’s got 100% compatibility with the standard waveform. As a result, he’s like the universal Coupler. He can get with anyone! Love and peace for all!
• But then we see that Dio’s compatibility is deteriorating the more he teams up Aoba. In fact, it’s gone all the way down to 60%. That’s bad! That’s a D-. And Fromm’s gone down to just 80% after only a single Coupling session with Aoba. Oh no! So maybe Aoba is like a Coupling vampire who saps your Coupling juices out of you. Y…yeah…
• But no matter what, people still have perfect Coupling with Aoba. It’s just that after they’ve been with Aoba, they can’t Couple effectively with anyone else anymore. It’s like once you go generic, bland shounen hero, you just can’t go back. Essentially, they’re all his concubines now.
• What makes it even worse is that Elvira’s got no clue whether or not the damaged pilots can restore their Emphater waveforms back to their original levels.
Y’know, before they did the dirty deed with Aoba. Aoba-kun, how could you…? You’ve ruined them for
marriage Coupling! Their waveforms were so innocent and pure before they met you! I-I hope you take responsibility!
• But no time to ruminate on the terrible tragedy that has befallen our pretty boys, ’cause an enemy ship has managed to locate Cygnus. Sadly, it isn’t the Gae Bolg. Rather, it’s the Vajra! …I’m not sure why I exclaimed that last sentence. Just getting into the spirit of the anime, I guess.
• Wait no, the Vajra will instead give Cygnus’s coordinates to the Gae Bolg. Yes, full speed ahead, Gae Bolg, full speed ahead! By the way, Zogilia has both an Imperial Army and a National Army, and not only that, they have different chains of command. How efficient.
• Back to our three pretty boys, they have to decide from now on who they want to Couple with… for life. Gosh, that sounds like a serious decision to make. As a result, I really think we should carefully discuss the pros and cons of every possible course of action. ‘Cause y’know, it would be incredibly silly if we all just raised our fingers to the sky, then simply pointed to the person we wanted to Couple with on the count of three. Now you’re just taking the piss!
• That Fromm is such a bro. He willingly stepped aside so that the main girl can get her true luv~
• Dio: “B-baka, it’s not like I wanted to pair up with you! I-I just had no choice. It’s just that my Emphater waveform… a-a-and we couldn’t risk testing a Coupling with Fromm in a real battle, uguu.”
• Aoba: “Dio! Are you really okay with this?” Uh, he did just pick you, didn’t he?
• I like how during this latest battle of the week, Aoba already talks and sounds as if he’s a veteran mecha pilot. You can’t even tell anymore that he just recently became a recruit of the Alliance.
• But how will they win this week? The situation looks so dire! Our heroes are completely surrounded!
• Well duh, they’ll win the same way they’ve been winning every week: by relying upon one of the many gimmicks you can find in the Coupling system, which itself is already a gimmick. Yes, it’s the return of the Code T2 Rise! Fancy choreography? Pshaw. Careful strategic planning? Fuck that! We’ll just fly back-to-back, which will somehow create an impenetrable shield, thereby allowing us to ram our heads right through the enemy’s entire squadron of mechas!
Kind of… erotic, in a way…
• But even though Dio’s Emphater waveform has deteriorated greatly from the standard waveform, his potential is still increasing! A perfect Coupling brings the best out of both partners! It’s so romantic!
• Y’know, it might be a good idea to design mechas that don’t instantly explode into flames if they are severed in half horizontally at the waist. Just a thought… at the very least, give the pilots enough time to eject from the cockpit before the whole thing goes Michael Bay on their asses.
• But oh no, here comes Alfred. It turns out he was simply waiting for our heroes to decouple. Now it’s his turn to pounce! If… if only there was an intelligent commander to remind our heroes that there’s still an enemy ship lurking on the sidelines. Y’know, the same mystery ship that had detected Cygnus in the first place, thereby revealing the good guys’ location to the Gae Bolg? Yeah…
• What a joke. So the reappearance of the Vajra was for naught. Hell, they even sortied their own mechas just to pull back simply because Cygnus can easily escape into the storm. Well shit, why did you guys even bother then!
• Aoba: “Hina, stop it!” Yeah, as if that’ll work. You’re an anime protagonist, so you should know by now that no one in anime takes no for an answer.
• Hina: “If only… if only you hadn’t shown up!” Damn, Aoba’s ruined everyone for marriage.
• It’s amazing! The bittersweet ED song starts to play as Aoba and Hina’s mechas are intertwined with one another. Just as they’re both about to crash into Cygnus, Aoba pulls back somehow so that they both disappear into the storm instead. Dio can’t help but scream out
his lover’s Aoba’s name futilely. After all, he knows as well as we do just exactly what’s going to happen in next week’s episode. Aoba and Hina will crash onto some tropical island where they’re forced to work together in order to survive. This experience will cause Hina to realize, “Gosh, this generic shounen hero isn’t so bad after all. That’s prime marriage material already! Take me now, generic, bland shounen hero! Take me upon your Gae Bolg!”
• Aaaaand if you check the previews for next week’s episode, Hina not only appears to be unconscious, but topless too! Wow~!