Oh hey, it’s ImoCho‘s turn to have its obligatory onsen episode.
• Mitsuki wins a trip for two to some hot springs, but how much do you want to bet that her and her brother will not be the only people there? Hiyori doesn’t count ’cause she’s a goddamn ghost.
• Now, knowing that she’s been condemned to wear a chastithong for the foreseeable future, why would she even accept such a gift? Lots of these contests in Japan allow you to trade the prizes in for a lump cash sum instead since gambling isn’t typically condoned. Even if this isn’t an option, however, our heroine could’ve given the tickets away. It… it’s almost like she wants to embarrass herself at the hot springs, ’cause y’know it’ll happen. By the gods, it will happen.
• Well shit, the whole gang’s here after all:
What a real shocker.
• What’s actually shocking, however, is that Aunt Nanami is here too. She’s practically non-existent in the story, but since this is, after all, the obligatory onsen episode, we may as well squeeze in as many naked girls as we can into it. Even ol’ Aunt Nanami gets to flaunt her stuff. Yuuya’s mom can count her lucky stars she’s a bad parent. That’s the only reason why she’s not here as well.
• Mitsuki suddenly gets all grumpy because Yuuya offered to hold Yuki’s luggage, so he hands her a dorayaki, which is basically a Japanese pancake filled with red bean paste. They’re pretty tasty, but it’s just funny how you can literally placate the imouto by stuffing her full with sweets and pastries. Life must be easy when you’re that one-dimensional.
• Mitsuki’s best friend has a great suggestion: “Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket, too?” Yes, after everything Hiyori’s put our heroine through, why not use some of that “good luck” on the lottery? Why waste it on a grand prize to the hot springs? Oh that’s right, tampering with real money would be immoral. Oh well, who’s ready to see some high school freshmen girls get naked?!
• Meanwhile, Yuuya thinks to himself, “Good. She’s cheered up. I guess she was just hungry.” Yeah, dude, you’re totally the shoujo whisperer. You totally have your sister pegged. Just like how you think she’s a goddamn lesbian.
• Like in Nisekoi, we have the forced lesbianism scene:
‘Cause I mean, what’s wrong with girls groping their best friends against their wishes?
• And naturally, girls have nothing better to talk about than how good their figures are. But don’t worry, it doesn’t take long before the conversation changes. Now, they’re all talking about Yuuya: “I wonder if he’s lonely all by himself in the men’s bath.” C’mon, son, did you really think that out of all the anime we’ve seen, ImoCho would be the one to pass the Bechdel test?
• Even though Hiyori’s a ghost, she gets naked too. I mean, why not? Even Moa, Shotaro’s younger sister, is here so we may as well strip everyone buck naked.
• No, please, don’t stop talking about Yuuya. Yuuya is so damn interesting. Please, girls, keep droning on and on about the bland harem lead:
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, very fascinating. Say, what would happen if you girls were to talk about anything else but the size of your boobs and the main character of the show? Would you die? Is that it? Y’know how sharks would die if they stopped swimming? Is it like that for you guys? Would you guys cease to exist if every waking minute wasn’t spent on titillating guys and pumping up their egos? Oh that’s right, this show wouldn’t have even been bankrolled were it not for the naked chicks and incest!
• Oh and how could I forget! The one last thing girls can definitely talk about is how much they hate each other. Of course, in ImoCho, this is pretty much limited to just how much Hiyori hates Yuki. Nevertheless, her behavior is completely toxic, but despite this, we’re just supposed to laugh it off. We’re meant to see their one-sided rivalry as nothing more than girls just being girls, i.e. fighting over men as nature demands it. But still, why do you suppose a lot of people say, “Girls hate each other more then guys hate each other!” Is it because it’s actually true? Or is it because we’re prone to spout the stupid shit we constantly see on TV and in movies?
• Naturally, Mitsuki isn’t like, “Could you stop being so mean?” Nor does she say, “Cut it out. Yuki hasn’t done anything to us.” Instead, she just looks sad. She looks sad because Yuki has childhood memories with Yuuya, and Mitsuki doesn’t. That’s right, it’s always about the male lead.
• Ah, I keep fucking up! One more topic to talk about at an onsen: slut-shaming! Well, I guess you could file this under the “Girls Hate Each Other” subcategory, but oh well. According to Neko, Aunt Nanami is “the model of a ‘bad-grown-up.'” Why? ‘Cause she went into the mixed bath! Ho ho ho, how dare a grown woman willingly look for consensual sex in the 21st century. And at the hot springs of all places! My word! What a whore! Now c’mon, little girl, stop eating, strip off your clothes, and hop back into the bath.
• Elsewhere, Hiyori demands that Mitsuki do more to “appeal to our big brother.” Y’know, the same old shit she’s done in practically every episode except last week’s. And the only reason she didn’t do this last week was because Mitsuki was too busy crying over Hiyori’s sudden disappearance. Man, I sure am glad that our heroine eventually apologized to her rapist. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be having the same crusty ol’ conversation as always.
• Mitsuki is jealous. As unfortunate as that is, there’s no denying it. Still, what do you do? Do you pull up your big girl panties and just deal with it? Or do you listen to Hiyori’s toxic advice and “[fight] back against Miss Top-Heavy!” ‘Cause y’know, shaming someone for the size of their chest is fine too.
• Oniichan finally catches up to his imouto, and he asks her if she’s feeling okay. Somehow, this turned into a minor fight between the two siblings, so Yuuya storms off. Mitsuki tries to chase after him, but ends up tripping. Naturally, her entire outfit becomes undone as a result. Harems just gotta harem.
• Sorry lady, but…
…according to others, you’re already a Christmas cake. My condolences. But that’s right, Aunt Nanami is coming onto the male lead now. Because, y’know, having Neko call her a slut wasn’t bad enough. Now let’s have a grown woman humiliate herself by having her flirt with Yuuya just in case you weren’t convinced that she’s a “model of a ‘bad-grown-up.'” I swear, if you watched nothing but harem anime, you’d think Japanese people hated any unmarried, childless woman north of 18 years of age.
• Tired of seeing Mitsuki waste this valuable chance to bang her brother, Hiyori forcefully takes over our heroine’s body. She intends to seduce Yuuya in one of the hot springs, but she doesn’t like what she sees one bit when she gets there:
• But it doesn’t even make any sense that Yuuya would hop right back into the onsen just because Aunt Nanami puked on him. I mean, it’s not like you actually bathe in it. It’s more like a relaxing spa. In fact, you clean yourself before you get into an onsen.
• On living with women, Yuuya remarks, “But now that I’ve tried living with one… they’re a real pain.” Line yourself up, girls. This guy’s on the market!
• But hey, why is Yuki even here anyway? Well, according to Aunt Nanami, she only saw old women in the mixed bath. As a result, Yuki decided it would be a brilliant idea to hit the mixed bath up! But, uh, if she was so concerned about running into men, why would she even risk it? Why wouldn’t she just use the women-only bath that we just saw her use at the start of the episode? I mean, any normal person would’ve done that instead! You’d only willingly enter the mixed bath if you’re a dumb character in an equally dumb anime, and you want to contrive a situation in which you end up being naked in the same room as the bland harem lead!
Gosh, ImoCho wouldn’t do a thing like this, would it? As for Yuuya, he entered the wrong bath because the puke distracted him or some shit. Yeah, this anime is dumb.
• But guys, Yuuya and Yuki used to bathe together like this all the time when they were younger. What’s changed! What’s changed, I ask! Why can’t they keep doing this! Just like how parents should keep showering with their children long after they’ve grown up! It’s no big deal!
• Uguu, you’re grown more womanly. Uguu, you’ve changed too. Uguu, I have? Uguu, you’re more responsible. Uguu, you’re like… you’re like an oniichan now. Uguu, I changed because of you.
Yuki then proceeds to trip her boobs all over Yuuya. No, seriously, she trips her boobs all over him:
• Then of course, this is where Mitsuki walks in on the two childhood friends, and Yuuya cries out desperately, “It’s not what you think.” Who the fuck even cares what she thinks though? Oh right, she’s my imouto so I wouldn’t want her to think I was banging anyone but her!
• Notice how Yuuya compliments Yuki for becoming more womanly, but she merely praises him for becoming “more responsible.” She doesn’t say, “You’ve become more manly.” Hm…
I wonder why.
• After our bland harem lead storms off, Yuki mutters to herself, “You’re so dense.” Well duh.
• God, don’t you just love the animation in this show:
Who wouldn’t fall in love with an imouto with such a lopsided face? But anyway, because Mitsuki dared to not care about her brother’s sexual exploits with women who aren’t related to him, our heroine will now be punished. First, the gauge on her chastithong will lower, then as a result, Mitsuki will faint. Don’t like incest? Hah, you can die now.
• Being the responsible oniichan that he is, Yuuya wants to carry his imouto back to her room, but she slaps his hands away: “D-don’t touch me with your dirty hands!” Yeah, shame on you, potential sex-haver! Yuuya still tries to deny he had done anything wrong, which only makes Mitsuki explode: “But you did! To Yukina-san!” Ugh, fucking nasty sex… unless it’s with your sister. But seriously, dirty, dirty sex! Now just lie back so your sister can grind on your crotch…
• Yuuya just doesn’t understand why his lesbian imouto is acting this way. Well, to be fair, I’d be pretty fucking perplexed too if I was in his shoes. I mean, who the hell ever thinks, “Goddamn, my sister is in love with me.” But anyway, Mitsuki goes, “I know I’m just the little sister who forced her way into your life. And unlike some older sisters, I know I’m not really that nice…” Yuuya suddenly realizes that his imouto is jealous. Jealous! Put yourself in Yuuya’s shoes. Your hot childhood friend just tripped her boobs all over you. Your dear little sister happened to walk in on this. You then learn that your little sister is jealous as a result of this. She saw you and your childhood friend together in a potentially sexual situation, and she’s jealous. How would you react? Would you be skeeved out? Would you be like, “Um, we’re family. We really shouldn’t think that way of each other.” Or would you be like Yuuya, and tell your sister how much her fucking lunches make you happy? He then proceeds to pat her on the head, which arouses her. Then when he gives her a piggy-back ride, she gets — you guessed it! — a fucking orgasm.
• As if the above isn’t bad enough, Yuki has to pay Mitsuki a visit too and explain to the girl that it was all just a misunderstanding. Not a single person is thinking, “Uh, as his imouto, why do you even care?” Nope, not a single one. Instead, Yuki insists that Mitsuki has nothing to worry about. Yep.
• Yuki then bends down to the level of Mitsuki’s crotch and steals the girl’s dorayaki with her mouth:
• Your moment of zen: keep it in the family…
…even if you’re not the bland harem lead. Psst, Moa’s in the mixed bath ’cause she’s hoping to run into Yuuya.