Fair warning: I wrote this as a way to kill time until the next Kill la Kill episode.
Episode summary: Takeshi trains some more. Kurumi tries to escape. She accepts candy from a stranger. Takeshi goes to rescue Kurumi. Takeshi and Takao fight. The end.
• The episode opens with a blindfolded Takeshi beating away at a mannequin. I’m not exactly sure how playing pinata will help him save Kurumi, but hey, Mother knows best, right?
• Takeshi tells the audience he needs to “become a powerful magician.” As a result, he picks himself up and beats on the mannequin some more. A powerful magician indeed.
• Elsewhere, Kurumi stares at herself in the mirror and wonders, “Why do I look like Takeshi?” Well, they say you are what you eat. But apparently, her new look is a boon, because when Gekkou enters the room, he says, “I’m sorry to say that, as you are now, I couldn’t bear to kiss you.” So y’see, girls, if you don’t want to be raped, just transform yourself into a dude. You might still get beaten up though. Can’t help you there.
• Whoops, Kurumi thinks back to how she tried to give Takeshi CPR, and this memory somehow changes her back to her normal self. I wonder how that works. I doubt when she wears a bra when she’s pretending to be Takeshi. Nevertheless, I’m sure all upstanding Japanese girls wear bras! So… does it just appear out of nowhere when she turns back to her normal self? Hey, inquiring minds want to know…
• So the girl tries to escape from Gekkou and ends up running into Takao. She then hides in the guy’s room as he and Hotaru discuss how they can sneak Kurumi out of the Trailers headquarters. I just have one question: where’s Gekkou while all of this is happening? I mean, what is he doing right now? Did he really just let Kurumi go out of his sight? “Ah well, she can’t go anywhere anyway!”
• Wow, that’s deep:
Tsuganashi: “So he wants to use his own power to protect those he cares about.”
Tsuganashi’s ex-girlfriend (I can’t remember her name): “However, special powers give rise to conflicts. They can become powers that not only protect, but also cause pain.”
Tsuganashi: “That’s true.”
• According to Hotaru, the Trailers headquarters “was constructed with magic, so the inside is like a maze.” Makes sense. I’ll make my very own base confusing as hell to navigate just because…
• In fact, “[t]he locations of the rooms change by the hour.” Cool.
• So this makes sense:
You see Kurumi’s legs sticking out from behind the pillar here. But when Gekkou gets closer…
You realize the pillar is big enough to conceal multiple Kurumi’s… if such a thing was necessary. GG, Madhouse.
• Why? Why do anime girls have to always do this?
Are you really that incapable of following someone unless you’re being led around like a dog?
• When Kippei shows up out of nowhere to have a talk with Takao, Kurumi decides that the next best thing to do is to run around aimlessly even though she’s been told that the place is like a maze. But hey, since it’s a maze, it also means there are plenty of hiding spots. So just pick one of them and hide out until your manly Takeshi rescues you! Personally, I’d transform myself into a gargoyle and just perch myself somewhere. Nobody would be none the wiser.
• But instead, Kurumi enters a dark and unknown spire (smart) and stumbles upon a stranger who offers her his hand, which Kurumi then willingly takes (super smart). He then opens a portal, and they both enter said portal with nary a protest from our heroine. Lulz, let’s just do whatever the stranger wants!
• Elsewhere, Takeshi continues to train, train, train! His mom tells him that he’s taking too long to cast his spells. So to rectify this, she’ll teach him an incantation, which is basically a spell. And this “basically a spell” will help Takeshi cast his spells faster. Because it’s an incantation, which is basically a spell…
• Our hero then closes his eyes to concentrate, and in doing so, he starts reliving the good ol’ days with Gekkou. I can’t believe my otouto can be so cute!
• Mom feels inadquate. Mom then faints in manly son’s arms:
• She then tells her son that she has something important to tell him about Gekkou’s accident. But like every shitty story ever, the main character cuts her off: “Save your energy! We can talk later.” On what planet does talking take up a ton of your energy? If she can say “I’m sorry, Takeshi” afterwards, I’m pretty sure she could’ve finished her previous thought.
• Back at the Trailers headquarters for just a second, Kurumi discovers that she’s been led to Kazuma’s room. Ooh la la. Why is he giving her that look though?
Yeesh. Quick! Turn yourself into a man, Kurumi!
• Takeshi: “I never found out what my mother had started to tell me.” Maybe you shouldn’t have interrupted her, jackass. In any case, our hero feels he’s ready to save Kurumi. But thanks to the power of friendship, Mui and Kazumi will also be joining him on this rescue mission. Well, no shit.
• When our trio first step foot into the Trailers headquarters, they run into Takao and Hotaru, and those two are looking for a fight. Uh, I thought they wanted to help Kurumi escape, so what is this all about?
• At first, Kazumi was losing to Hotaru, but that’s only because he had made a promise to his imouto that he would not hurt cute, little girls! But, uh, I guess he’ll break his promise now and beat little girls up?
• So Mui casts Variable Flight, which gives Takeshi a yellow eye to match his pink eye. And with their powers combined, Takeshi is able to break through Takao’s Caesar’s Shield because, uh, it can’t withstand the combination of multiple spells. If the anime doesn’t explain to us how Takeshi manages to break Takao’s shield, the audience would be clueless and relatively confused. But then sitting there and explaining the step-by-step process of the spell is equally dumb. The conclusion to draw here is that there’s really no way to win when the entire premise of your show is this shitty.
• In any case, Takao apologizes for losing track of Kurumi, and by gazing into his dreamy eyes, Takeshi discerns that his opponent is telling the truth. Again, if they both care about Kurumi so much, they the fuck did they fight? Is it only because we had five minutes left to waste in the episode, so we may as well have a poorly-choreographed fight scene? That’s it, isn’t it?
• And then this is the last thing we see in the episode:
Yeah… thankfully, next week’s episode will also be the show’s finale. But for a penultimate episode though, this one was especially shitty. It wasn’t even shitty in a funny way. It was just boring as fuck as we watched Kurumi wander around aimlessly for half an episode.