Unlike harems, I do not have a lot of experience with otome games and their adaptations. So my approach to this anime will differ from Harem Hill. With Harem Hill, I try to deconstruct the harem dynamics to show my readers how ridiculous harems are. I can’t do the same with adaptations of otome games; I’m not familiar with the tropes and cliches of reverse harems. Essentially, this will be a learning experience. But I figure, “Hey, if I’m going to do Harem Hill every season, why give the opposite sex the short end of the stick? Their shows deserve attention too!” So let’s have at it.
Wow, if you thought Nobunaga the Fool had a mahou beefcake transformation scene, you need to take a look at this anime.
Yo Cloud, what’s going on?
And then his pants gets torn to pieces right before our very eyes. Why? So that half of a toga can appear in its place. That’s… that’s a waste of a perfectly good pair of pants. I mean, it was probably tailored and shit too. It’s not like pants are hard to take off unless we’re talking about tight-fitting skinny jeans. In the end, this is what we get:
Well then. So anyway, the opening to the episode starts off with a bunch of pretty-boy gods doing battle with each other for some reason or other, and a sole girl can be seen on the sidelines screaming for everyone to stop their bickering. I assume this will be our heroine. Our golden-boy god then assures our heroine that everything’s going to be A-OK. Next, we see them soaring through the starry sky…
…on a glorious winged stallion (Pegasus, is that you?!). A winged stallion with pink feathers. That’s so fucking majestic. Too bad we don’t get to see how this scene plays out. We just get to see the two of them fly into a column of light, which then explodes into a ring of light, then finally, the title screen shows up.
So meet Yui…
…a girl who knows a thing or two about handling delicate blades. But other than that, she’s just your average high school senior with a perfectly average life. Sure, her family is in charge of a shrine, but unlike a lot of anime heroines, she won’t have to take over for them after they retire. That task will fall to one of her older brothers. Well gosh, what is an average girl to do then to get some excitement around here?
All of a sudden, Yui finds a mysterious, glowing blade in her family’s storehouse. When she touches it, lightning strikes the storehouse, and the sword begins to levitate into the air. Before she knows it, she has been transported to… MOUNT OLYMPUS! Well, I’ve no clue if it’s Mt. Olympus or not, but she’s in a divine place, that’s for sure. It doesn’t take long before the first moody boy god rears his emo head to lob some cryptic words at our fish-out-of-water heroine:
My, my… who sacrificed your goat this morning, eh? Out of nowhere, a mountain of roses bloom behind him:
But can you really reconcile that sourpuss of a face with a bunch of pretty roses? I can’t. Our heroine doesn’t agree though: “He’s beautiful.” Really? But before she can ask him for any help, our walking, talking stereotype screams out, “Stay away! Do not come near me. It will only bring you… *dramatic close-up of one of his creepy red eyes* … MISERY!”
Geez dude, she just wanted to ask you for some directions… Our heroine tries to chase after Emo McSourpuss but she somehow trips. Luckily, a rabbit appears before her, and it seems as though the bunny wants her to follow it. Hey, when has following a bunny ever gone wrong? So follow the bunny she does. Eventually, the bunny leads her to a classroom where another morose-looking fella is hiding:
Alright, alright, I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s your problem? Yui asks this guy if he knows where they just happen to be. His answer? “Who can really say?” Um… okay then. Maybe Yui should go ask someone else in that case, but thanks for trying! When all of a sudden, another pretty-boy god walks in:
I don’t know enough about flowers to care what he’s supposed to represent. But while the other two have been emo and taciturn respectively, our new guy is all in-your-face and aggressive. Oooh, I bet he’s the “bad boy” of the harem. Please, please… take as much of my personal space as you want:
Every other sound that comes out of this guy’s mouth is a growl of some sort. Ragggh? Rawwergh. Raggrggh. He sure seems endearing. Eventually, he grabs Sensitive Bunny Man over there so that the two of them can leave the classroom together. Yui tries to say something, but he growls back at her one last time: “Don’t follow us!” Well shit. How’s a girl gonna find herself a lover if the candidates start hooking up with each other? Oh well, it just can’t be helped. Let’s see if we can find ourselves a new pretty-boy god. According to this…
…there are still three pretty-boy gods left to meet. Can she catch them all?
Umm, no… c’mon horsey, we’re not into bestiality here. Frightened by the horse, Yui runs back into the building and stumbles upon our fourth stereot–… pretty-boy god:
So there’s Emo, Shy, Grouchy… what’s this one? Flirty? I bet it’s Flirty. Unfortunately, we have a schedule to stick to, so the fourth pretty-boy god exits the scene as quickly as he had just arrived. Two left! And as soon as Yui turns her head, she meets the next one. Christ, this otome game’s encounter rate is a bit high. Okay, so what does this one look like?
Uh, compared to the previous four…
Yui tells our latest “pretty”-boy god that another pretty-boy god had been looking for him. The guy responds, “Oh, good… We were separated, and I didn’t know what to do.” …he didn’t know what to do? Anyway, of all the pretty-boy gods that we’ve seen so far, this one is at least friendly… I guess. He actually answers Yui’s questions, but somehow manages to trip and fall on his ass in the process. Oh, it’s Clumsy:
So I mean, this might be a reverse harem, but it doesn’t mean we can’t have a few tried-and-tested harem tricks. Clumsy over here tries to help our heroine, but ends up tripping yet again. This time, he falls on top of her:
Doki doki. Grouchy invaded her personal space on purpose, so at least this guy is just a walking, talking insurance rate hike. The guy then introduces himself as Baldr and proceeds to caress the hands of a girl he’s only just met. Out of nowhere, Flirty returns with a vengeance:
Well shit, if you guys are already paired up, what is Yui even doing in this anime! She may as well get on Twitter and squee about her favorite pairings instead. Flirty then tosses a smoke bomb at Yui, and he and Clumsy disappear off to do God knows what. Oh well, the plot must continue. After the smoke clears, Yui finds herself being summoned by a booming voice. She eventually finds her way to a dimmed room full of columns. At the end of the room sits a man on a throne. It is none other than Zeus himself!
Well, I don’t know about that… Yui expresses her disbelief, however, at the fact that she’s standing before a god, so to convince her of his divine powers, Zeus transforms himself into a mighty… a mighty… shota?
By the way, if you’ve ever read any Greek mythology in grade school, you would know that Zeus was a perverted asshole who would transform himself into all sorts of people, gods, or creatures in order to cheat on his wife Hera and rape virgins. So yeah… Yui better watch herself.
As it turns out, gods are losing their connection to humanity, and if things continue at this rate, the future will be disasterific… for some reason. I’m sure we’ll hear the specifics later. Anyway, in order to prevent a future calamitous event from occurring, Zeus has brought six of the most autistic pretty-boy gods to this one location for a very special education: an education in luv~ And who better to teach these autistic boys how to love than a high school senior who has never had a boyfriend!
But look, Zeus might be Greek, but the rest of them aren’t necessarily all Greek themselves. It turns out Flirty and Clumsy are Loki and Baldr respectively (well, we already knew about Baldr), Grouchy and Shy are Tsukuyomi and Susanoo, and Emo is… is… Hades. Of course. Wait a minute, Hades is married to Persephone. What on earth is he doing here then? Plus, why would Zeus have any say over Norse and Japanese gods?
Zeus then tells our heroine that she won’t be released until she fulfills his plan of teaching these pretty-boy gods how to love. Well, that’s… that’s a little disturbing. Yui seems to agree with me, so she storms off, but Zeus is not phased. But wait a minute? Where’s the sixth? Oh god:
It’s McRippyPants. Alright, alright… which god are you? He’s Apollon, a.k.a. Apollo. So… two Greek gods, two Japanese gods, and two Norse gods. Sorry Shiva, you’re not invited. And with that, the episode ends. Well, after seeing the episode’s ridiculous opening, we all know Apollon’s going to win this shit anyway.
Now, you might be wondering where La Corda d’Oro Blue Sky is. I tried to watch it; I really did. I just found it incredibly boring. So while I’d like to work on some type of “Otome Ocean” or “Otome Oasis” feature, I think I can only bother to cover one of those shows this season.