Oh good, the next piece of fodder for Harem Hill. But we’ll take a quick individual look at the show first… y’know, just to be fair.
• The harem starts off with a bang as a crazy traffic accident occurs right before Nanami’s very eyes. Oh, who’s Nanami? Just one of the show’s many haremettes. We’ll get to her in a second. Still, it’s not very often that a harem starts off in this sort of fashion. Where’s the childhood friend barging into the bland harem lead’s room just to wake him up for school? Where’s the boring ass monologue about how today’s his first day of high school, and how he hopes he’ll have a shining high school life? Where’s the best friend who conveniently shows up just to ask the bland harem lead if he’s excited to meet all the cute girls in his class? Still, don’t get your hopes up on thinking that this show will be breaking any new ground…
• So later that day, the bland harem lead introduces himself to his class as Souta, the mild-mannered transfer student. Nanami immediately takes an interest in him because she (correctly) suspects that he had some strange involvement in the accident from earlier that day. By the way, this is their homeroom teacher:
Harems just gotta harem. Plus, one of the female students is wearing a fucking bonnet:
• It is somewhat different, I guess, that the bland harem lead is assigned a seat in the middle of the class and somewhat towards the front of the room. What? No awesome seat next to a window all the way in the back? C’mon! That’s an anime staple!
• The perverted best friend candidate walks up to Souta and introduces himself. He even says, “Especially about girls, you can count on me for that.” Our hero humorously replies with…
• In fact, the show is a tiny bit meta, and because of this… it’s somewhat amusing at first. Just don’t expect the show to keep this up. But anyway, how is the anime being slightly meta? Well, the haughty rich girl tries her best to dominate our bland harem lead:
He quickly shoots her down by copping to being a hardcore sadist. Hey, didn’t you know two sadists would never work?
• Still, Nanami has had enough. She demands to know Souta’s deal. I mean, why is he always staring at people’s heads? At first, the guy tries to give her a lame excuse so she just flat-out headbutts him. Well, we can’t get rid of female-to-male comic violence, now can we? That, too, is an (unfortunate) anime staple.
• Let’s get down to brass tacks: our bland harem lead can see event flags on people’s heads. Some people have friendship flags, others have romance flags, and the unluckiest ones are sacked with death flags. Some salaryman this morning had a death flag on top of his head, so Souta did what he could to get rid of it. Somehow, telling the salaryman that he wouldn’t get some business contract was enough to get the job done. I guess the shocking words stopped him from crossing the street too soon and thus getting hit by the out-of-control truck? Oh well, it doesn’t matter.
• But surely, there were no death flags on any of his classmates from earlier today, right? Yep, no death flags. There were friendship and romance flags though, and Souta still went about cutting them all down. Why? Wouldn’t he want to take advantage of this incredible talent? Apparently not, because anyone who gets close to him will only receive… misery!
• Somehow, the protagonist’s desire to be alone makes Nanami think back to how she once spilled milk as a loli. Seriously, there’s no additional context to the scene whatsoever:
So even though she doesn’t believe his story one bit, Nanami feels sorry for the guy. She then insists that he call her by her first name and first name only. Plus, he has to do so without any of the honorific crap. Well, not before she pokes him in the eyes with two fingers and looks all smug for having accomplished this feat of physical abuse:
What’s so special about Nanami anyway? What makes her the leading haremette of the show? Ah, it’s due to the fact that our hero can’t seem to see a flag above her head. She’s the wild card! She represents endless possibilities! She’s the Bella to his Edward! But let’s be real. Even if you tell me that he can’t see any flag above her head, her “flag” is obviously all over her face:
Shit’s not hard, man. One last thing before we move onto the next scene: our heroine’s full name is Nanami Knight Braidfield. In fact, she’s a fucking princess. Of what? Some tiny, rural European nation, apparently. And for some reason, she’s been sent to Japan of all places to advance her studies.
• Obviously, Nanami will be the last and most difficult nut to crack, so let’s just move right along to our very first nut:
A nut who likes to wear a garter belt to school, but that’s neither here nor there. So anyway, this is Mahogasawa Akane, and she’s all full of friendship flags. Try as he might, Souta can’t seem to break them all. They just keep coming back like cockroaches. Personally, I think he’s just not being mean enough, but we wouldn’t have much of an anime if the bland harem lead was actually honest about his desire to be alone.
• Like Nanami, Akane is also from a very rich background. Well then, our bland harem lead seems to have found himself a bevy of potential sugar mamas.
• When Akane runs, she has to moan every other step. Really, words alone cannot do this girl justice. You have to listen to her talk to really understand how fucking annoying her character is.
• Souta can’t understand why a rich girl like Akane would take an interest in him. Akane replies, “I’d feel bad if I abandon a dog drenched in the rain or a weeping cat.” Souta and Nanami are aghast that they’re being compared to dogs and cats.
• So all three of them end up paying a visit to Souta’s dormitory because this is what friends do. By the way, his dormitory is ten kilometers away from campus. Yep. The students even say that this all belongs to the school, which is apparently massive. It might even have its own GDP.
• Eventually, we make our way to Souta’s home, and it’s actually a fucking dump:
• As the three of them hang out, Souta starts to laugh mirthfully, so Akane tells him how wonderful he looks when he’s happy. For some reason, this embarrasses our protagonist, so he proceeds to hide himself in the bathroom for an oddly huge length of time. In the meantime, nosy Nanami digs away at Akane to understand how the cheerful rich girl ticks. Apparently, loli Akane was separated from a good friend simply because the other girl was poor. As a result, the bubbly girl’s made it her mission to befriend every pathetic, downtrodden classmate she comes across.
Aw, how condescending…
• The best part of the flashback is when the two girls exchange hairpins as a symbol of their friendship. So when the faceless adults go to pull these two girls apart, one of the adults cruelly steps on one of the hairpin just to really rub it in that befriending a poor person is wrong!
• When it’s finally time for Souta’s two haremettes to leave, Akane rushes back upstairs because she had left something behind. All of a sudden, Souta notices a death flag atop her head. Gosh, where did it come from! Apparently, talking about your past is a bad thing: “A ‘Death’ flag caused by the past is much worse than a regular death flag.” But what does a “‘Death’ flag caused by the past” have anything to do with falling to your death in a rundown dormitory?
• Souta rushes to save Akane, but he’s not sure how he can break her death flag. He runs through as many of the possibilities as he can and he tells her all sorts of comforting words, but nothing seems to work.
Think, bland harem lead, think! What would Harem Jesus do? Wait, what’s that?
It’s a budding romance flag! Of course! Harem Jesus would totally mack on this hot babe. Plus, she’s rich.
Aw yeah, Harem Jesus in the house!
So let me get this straight… Akane was going to die from falling through the floor, presumably because of her injuries, but because our bland harem lead kissed her, she will now no longer die. Fuck the flags! His saliva’s got curative properties!
• But first thing first, we haven’t had female-on-male comic violence in a while…
Phew. We wouldn’t want to break the paradigm, you know? Guys doing unwanted things to girls, girls then hitting the guys back instead of both parties searching for a reasonable, mature solution to correct the root of the problem… these are just anime staples!
• But… all is not well because…
• Anyway, tune in next time for…
…and more boobs!