If this episode is just as weak as last week’s episode, I’m relegating it to a small blurb in the weekly “Everything Else” post instead.
In her match against Hitoe, Ruko intended to lose on purpose, but her opponent changes Ruko’s mind. Our heroine then wins easily and gets an adrenaline rush from doing so. Elsewhere, Akira beats Yuzuki easily, so the latter runs off to cry. But it turns out Kazuki wasn’t trying to hook up with some card-peddling floozy after all. He was just trying to trade for a super-duper special card for his sister! Awwww.
• SHOCKER: GIRL WITH GLASSES LIKES THE LIBRARY.
Hitoe: “No one comes around this side…”
I WONDER WHY GIRL WITH GLASSES WOULD NEED TO BECOME AN ETERNAL GIRL IN ORDER TO MAKE FRIENDS.
• Ruko then wonders why Hitoe would challenge her to a match. The shy girl replies, “You seemed weak…” Gee, she seems like such a nice person.
• Ruko thinks to herself, “She’s trying her best…” Is she? Is she really? She challenged Akira out of nowhere despite it being her very first official match. Not only that, she was bested by some very simple control plays. She promptly gave up on her LRIG too, which can’t be good for morale. So, I ask again, is she really trying her best? Is she even trying hard? Or is she just another idiot flailing away at something that she doesn’t understand, but because she’s a cowering anime girl with glasses, we’re supposed to pity the fuck out of her?
• So these battles are so interesting, we’re going to have two of them at once. I’m so excited!
• Yuzuki wonders why people keep telling her not to be so straightfoward. Obviously, she’s referring more to her nonexistent romantic relationship with her twin brother than the card game itself, but c’mon. It doesn’t even look like Akira has changed up her tactics one bit. Therefore, Yuzuki should know exactly what to expect and have come up with ways to counter it. I feel like I’m watching a bunch of idiots play the game though.
• Apparently, the “feel” of the battlefield changes depending on the participants. Ruko and Hitoe have compatible decks or some shit, whatever that even means. Not only that, Ruko’s white deck is rare! If there’s a white deck, I wonder if there’s a black deck! Remember, kids, if you wanna win, you gotta get the rare cards!
• Ruko: “This is so different compared to when I was playing at home with grandma.” Does something like this really need to be said?
• There’s no context here to help us understand what’s going on though. Hitoe increases her LRIG’s power by 5000, but unless we know what Midoriko’s base power is to begin with, the ‘5000’ figure is meaningless.
• Ugh, give me a break:
Ruko’s martyrdom is getting to be pretty annoying. Especially since Hitoe doesn’t even have a good reason for wanting to become an Eternal Girl. What on earth is Ruko’s thought process anyway? “Uguu, this girl is crying, so I should just give her a free win!” That trumps your grandma’s health? That trumps all the other possibilities you could wish for? Like feeding the homeless? Saving the whales? Cleaning the Fukushima disaster? Like fuck, why are you such a loser?
• Hanayo tells Yuzuki, “…your wish is nothing to be ashamed of.” It’s like we’re trying to do some Ubermenschen sort of thing where the girl needn’t kowtow to society’s morality if she hopes to achieve her dreams. But of course, we’re not even talking about murdering a pawnbroker who’s cheating poor people out of their money, which is still pretty heinous in itself. Instead, we’re talking about a girl who’s in love with her brother.
• It’s a lose-lose situation. No matter who wins, the outcome is terrible.
• Hitoe: “If you [lose on purpose], even if I win, I won’t be happy. There’s no meaning to it!” Yeah, but even if you win legitimately, and thus manage to make friends this way, there’s no meaning to it either. C’mon, you want to make friends by winning a card game. Where’s the meaning in that?
• Oh boy, we now get to hear Hitoe’s tearful backstory. You know how she might be able to make friends though? If she uses her wish for something good. Like helping people. People tend to want to befriend good people.
• After winning the match against Hitoe easily, Tama begins to Digi-volve. Unfortunately, she doesn’t actually grow horns or anything cool like that. She just now has the ability to form complete sentences. Woo. Meanwhile, Midoriko has to explain to her master what it means for an LRIG to evolve and how it’s different from “growing.” Really? You want to become an Eternal Girl but you don’t even know your LRIG can power-up after a victory? She’s totally trying her best, guys.
• Hitoe says, “If I lose one more time, my wish won’t come true. But, I won’t regret it!” Ruko then shocks the girl by offering to be her friend anyway. This is Hitoe’s reaction:
Whoaoooaoaa, I never thought of that! You mean you can achieve things in life without relying on some crappy card game?!
• Do you want to know what happens next? Do you really?
• Boy, look at all these cool cards I can buy!
Would be a shame not to have them in my deck during a critical battle!
• Ruko suddenly gets an ominous phone call from Kazuki. Oh yeah, we haven’t checked in on incest girl in a while.
• But who cares if you lose? Well, okay, that’s not exactly right. I’d be pretty mad too if I had lost my chance to fulfill any wish I had in mind. Rather, what I mean to ask is it’s not like anything bad will happen if you lose, right? Right? Psst, WIXOSS, here’s your chance to turn all dark on us and actually make this story interesting. Like, for example, granting wishes is a zero-sum game. In other words, if one Eternal Girl gets her wish, then something incredibly tragic must happen to another girl to maintain balance in the world. That’s not original though! It’s just meant to kick start the brainstorming process. I’m sure you guys can come up with something really cool if you really tried!
• Yuzuki: “If I had that Adamasphere that Kazuki was talking about, I could have retaliated…” See? Told ya you should’ve bought more cards. Tsk tsk.
• To nobody’s surprise, Yuzuki lost her match against Akira, and now the girl’s by herself in some unspecified location. Despite this, Ruko and Kazuki finds her anyway. Tingling incest sense, I guess.
• But it turns out oniichan wasn’t really interested in the card shop girl at all. He was getting the card shop girl’s help in order to get trade for that special Adama-whatever card for Yuzuki! Man! What a bro! The incest dream is still alive, guys! I believe! #ilovemybro #notashamed #yolocest
• Elsewhere, Akira throws a tantrum because she has yet to become an Eternal Girl. Uh, you didn’t think two victories over two complete pushovers would seal the deal, did you? She then threatens to tear her LRIG to pieces, but Piruluk, which sounds like a name for a bug boss in World of Warcraft, calls her bluff. But meh, there’s nothing particularly foreboding about this scene nor the following one with Iona, the other modeling girl.
• This anime is still just a bunch of angsty schoolgirls playing a dinky card game with trashy-looking avatars. So no, the story still hasn’t turned dark on us. I’m beginning to think it never will.
Screw it. I gave the show three chances. Now, what to blog on Friday nights in place of this anime…? Mushishi? Break Blade? Oh well, I’ve got a week to decide.