Brace yourselves for a scintillating episode full of… conversations!
Tatsuya meets a trio of people to discuss the events at the end of last week’s episode. Tatsuya meets his sister and their friends to discuss his magical prowess. Tatsuya meets kendo girl to discuss joining the kendo club and forming a non-magic organization. Tatsuya meets the Student Council to discuss his meeting with kendo girl. Tatsuya meets the school’s counselor to receive counseling and discuss kendo girl some more. Tatsuya goes home to meet his sister and discuss the nefarious aims of the Blanche organization. Wow! Such an exciting episode.
• There’s apparently a Correctional Committee that comes after the Disciplinary Committee. ‘Cause, y’know, the Disciplinary Committee can only discipline you. It doesn’t get to correct you. Ooooh no, that would be overstepping its boundaries.
• This big oaf over here is apparently Jumanji. Man, I loved that book as a kid. Too bad it grew up to be an ugly anime character. Now, he’s the chairman of the Extracurricular Activities Federation. That’s right, mofos. It’s a goddamn Federation.
• All of a sudden, Tatsuya imagines Jumanji and himself naked. Not only that, Tatsuya continues to shrink until he is at the level of Jumanji’s crotch. Uh… yeah. In fact, just look at the way he describes the guy: “That thick chest, those broad shoulders, those muscles that ripple visibly under his uniform. It’s not just his physical body… every atom of his being, the intensity of his presence… all are phenomenal.” Goddamn, son, this is the most excited you’ve been all series long… oooooooh, I get it. It’s not incest. Not when our Gary Stu swings for all the other Stus, if you know what I mean. Don’t worry, buddy, I don’t judge you.
• Tatsuya: “He’s imposing like a craggy rock.” Heh.
• Afterwards, Tatsuya has dinner with his sister and friends, and as they sit down to eat strawberry parfaits and finger sandwiches, they also discuss a host of utterly delectable topics such as what a “Rank B Lethal Spell” is and how it has “restricted effective range.” Mm-hmm.
• Mizuki: “But you’re saying it’s easy to deal with a real sword…” Of course it is, girl. Lemme tell you how this Gary Stu wishes he could truly deal with swords… sigh. Craggy Rock-san…
• I love how the conversation has segued so neatly into a discussion of how fucking awesome Tatsuya is. Dude is so fucking awesome, the anime has to remind us every minute of every episode.
• Now he has taijutsu skills too! And nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills… People only want boyfriends who have great skills, y’know. Plus, Tatsuya’s soon to add rock-climbing skills to the list.
• Miyuki: “I can see through anything you do, Brother.” Seeing as how you’re barking up the wrong tree, apparently not.
• I love how the characters continually faceplant over all the lovey-dovey stuff from Miyuki, but they don’t seem to realize Tatsuya returns none of it. Ah well, his identity is safe for now.
• Right, let’s get back to discussing that Cast Jamming! ‘Cause this is what world-building is. It’s talking about spells at an inane level of detail. When I watched the Lord of the Rings films, boy, I was super disappointed that they never discussed the minute intricacies of Gandalf’s spells. Or how Sting, Frodo’s dagger, could detect the presence of nearby goblins because it had been specially forged to attune itself to the vibrations of swinging goblin scrotums intermingling with the cold air of Moria. I wish Peter Jackson could watch this adaptation so he’d really know what it takes to world-build, that fucking hack.
• Erika: “Don’t you need some kind of special rock…?” Gasp, who told you!
• They’re sitting around a table discussing a rock. This… this is brilliance!
• It’s not Cast Jammu! It’s Specific Magic Jammu! Also, our hero’s so badass that he can just come up with entirely new types of magic!
• “…in most cases, the magic doesn’t activate. You all know that, right?” Heh, just checking… fucking plebes.
• Ahaha, every episode is dominated by some dry, drawn-out explanation of the spells in this universe. Why did they even bother making those web specials then? The audience still has sit through this nonsense anyway. But ah, quantity over quality, right guys? The more inane details we pack into the story, the better it is, right?
• Erika: “If an easily-acquired technique to nullify spells were to spread, this society would be shaken to its foundations.” Yeah, I don’t even know how humanity ever existed without magic.
• But now you know Tatsuya isn’t just a badass who has every magical skill under the sun at his fingertips. He even knows secrets that can shake the very foundations of this society itself!
• Seven minutes into the episode, we are finally free of the tyranny of magic talk… for now.
• The next day at school, a mysterious assailant attacks Tatsuya. Oh, the suspense.
• So the girl from the Kendo club, Sayaka Mibu, asks our awesome hero to hang out with her. When he tells her that he can’t at the moment, she gasps as if it’s some big surprise that people can be busy. Naturally, during this scene, Miyuki has to hide behind her brother’s broad shoulders because she’s such a meek imouto.
• Miyuki then voices her distrust of Sayaka, ’cause she’s apparently clairvoyant now or something. Anyway, she thinks people will only flock to him with “selfish interests in mind.” If that’s the case, then why did she try so goddamn hard in previous episodes to talk him up to others? Christ. Still, it should be noted that Tatsuya initially lied to her about going to see Sayaka.
• Ho hum, Sayaka wants our hero to join the kendo club. When he turns her down, she demands to know why. ‘Cause, y’know, you just can’t have a reason not to join a club.
• So like… Sayaka doesn’t want people to look down on her kendo skills just because she’s a Course 2 student. As a result, she and other non-magic-using clubs want to break off from the Extracurricular Activities Federation to form their own governing body! That’s right! To combat discrimination, you need to dissociate yourself even further from the rest of society! Plus, I do not understand what any of this has to do with Tatsuya joining the club. He gets enough practice handling swords as it is, thank you very much.
• Uguu, he called me a bishoujo…
• At lunch the next day, Tatsuya has a great conversation about treating his ladies right: “Not treating his own girlfriend as a lady… apparently, your boyfriend isn’t much of a gentleman.”
I know, right? Ah, those asshole douchebags are always treating m’ladies incorrectly!
• This causes Mari to launch into a spirited defense of her own boyfriend. Ugh, why are these ladies always so protective of the douchebags in their lives! Why can’t they see the perfectly nice guy in front of them? Keep this up, and the nice guy may have to stop being so nice. He may even choose to play the other field.
• Mari continues to ask Tatsuya whether or not he verbally abused the kendo girl: “I have witnesses who observed Mibu blushing red and looking embarrassed.” Yes, girls will only ever blush if they’re being verbally abused. Good logic.
• Then all of a sudden, Miyuki exhibits her cold magic because perhaps her brother was doing something untoward with the kendo girl after all! Haha, incest-born jealousy is so funny.
• Mari claims the Disciplinary Committee is just an honorary position, but then another girl reminds her that the committee nevertheless “wields considerable power.” Uh, so which is it then?
• Now we’re discussing Blanche, some anti-magic organization. But before the conversation can get too deep on this front, people begin to tease Mayumi on how Tatsuya has her “tied around [his] finger.” Cue jealous, overly-attached imouto ’cause girls who overreact to a simple conversation amongst friends are just so kawaii~!
• In the Counseling Room, we meet a counselor with a babyface. But oh yeah, her boobs are each individually bigger than said face. And of course, she’s got a plunging neckline to show off said boobs. Ah, to be a Gary Stu in his harem. Even the counselor wants his dick. If only they knew his secret…
• And then the fucking camera zooms in. Best anime, guys. Bestest anime.
• Oh good, he’s now telling her off for her “provocative” outfit. Tsk tsk, ma’am. This gentlesir is only after classy ladies.
• A grown woman then ends up apologizing to a high school kid over her choice of outfit. This anime’s portrayal of the opposite sex is so well-rounded!
• So anyway, he’s one of the lucky first-years to receive counseling from the school. Oh boy. But before he leaves, the counselor wants to know if kendo girl had asked him out on a date. She seems to have ulterior motives here, but she’s not willing to spill the beans just yet. Since Blanche was so conveniently brought up shortly after Tatsuya’s brief conversation with Sayaka, I think it’s just a no-brainer that there are some connections between the two.
• We then get a subtle close-up to the counselor’s thigh. Yep. In fact, we continue to stare at her upper thigh as the conversation continues. World-building! One juicy thigh at a time.
• Oh hey, remember the “Omoshiroi” dork at the end of last week’s episode? Apparently, he’s the one pushing Sayaka to recruit our hero at all costs. Not only that, a look at his left hand reveals that familiar wristband from earlier in the episode. But wait a minute, I thought the wristband was on his right hand. Ah well, this can’t be an oversight! This anime is too brilliant to make mistakes! This dork probably just wears matching wristbands on both arms!
• Yes, Blanche is a bona fide terrorist organization. Not only that, Tatsuya asserts, “…these guys are working behind the scenes at our school.” How does he know? Because members of Egalite, “Blanche’s subordinate organization,” all wear that familiar red, white, and blue wristband. Egalite is obviously associated with the concept of egalitarianism. Yes, in an anime series all about how unfairly the upper crust are treating to the lower crust, an organization with egalitarian aims just happens to be full of terrorists. This is quite fair and balanced.
• Miyuki: “…don’t they know that using magic requires long years of study and training, not just ability?” Ahahaha, I see how it is. This is such a strawman. Not only do we have one-dimensional discrimination at the school, its opposition is equally one-dimensional just so that the anime characters can sit around and be discrimination apologists. Y’see, it turns out the Egalites are only concerned with the disparity in income in their society! This is like creating a boogeyman organization that is mad at doctors for being paid so much. Then all the rich elitists can sit around and ask with concerned looks on their faces, “…don’t they know that practicing medicine requires long years of study and training, not just ability?” But anyone with half a brain can recognize how ridiculous this scenario would be. No one would ever form an organization that targets doctors for being paid lots of money. This is why this whole Egalite thing is stupid as hell.
• Tatsuya then explains, “They know, but they don’t say it. They keep their mouths shut about anything inconvenient, and they deceive others, as well as themselves, with their sweet-sounding concepts, such as equality.” And they call me cynical. This reminds me of how certain people like to rage on and on about how feminism isn’t really about equality. Rather, that feminism is just about making women superior to men while hiding behind “sweet-sounding concepts, such as equality.” Now, I’m not accusing Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei of the same thing. But it nevertheless reminds me of those people. I’ll just leave it at that.
• Ah, y’see, if Tatsuya wasn’t so badass and talented, he might have deluded himself into adopting the terrorists’ point-of-view, mm-hmm!
• Tatsuya continues to go on and on about how the anti-magic folks just want to bring glorious Nippon down to its ruins. In the background, China is conspicuously highlighted on the map. Subtle as always.
Shit, this entire episode has pretty much been nothing but “Meet X at location Y, discuss topic Z, fade to black.” Rinse and repeat. What gripping storytelling… I mean, just look at the above screenshots of the characters excitingly sitting down and having thrilling conversations with each other. But nevertheless, our hero is a brave, brave man for not crumbling under all that female attention. Instead, he remains strong in his convictions… I can only hope that he’ll get his rock one day and thus find true love.