Brynhildr in the Darkness Ep. 8: Needless padding

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This week, Ryota’s going to investigate that mysterious place that had popped up on the device, but not before a naked girl literally throws herself at him. But don’t worry too much, because our hero’s too much of a wimp to do anything about it. He won’t taint himself whatsoever for the carnal appeal of a woman’s body. After all, sex is dirty, and his cold, hard logic is all that matters. Plus, we all know he’d never cheat on the memory of his long, lost loli anyway. No, really, it’s the memory that counts. Oh, I’m sure Neko’s nice and all, but it won’t really be special unless Neko is the same Neko from his past, y’know? It’s all about the loli, and don’t you guys forget it.

As you can see, however, Kazumi is pulling out all the stops to get Ryota to sleep with her. Normally, I’d say this burning desire points to something more than just a girl having a crush on the bland harem lead, but then again, Kazumi really could just be this stupid. The story is trying really hard to set up some sort of love triangle between the protagonist, Neko and Kazumi, but it’s all kind of pointless. By design, Ryota can’t and won’t do anything even if he was to fall into a sea of endless breasts. Nevertheless, Ryota’s such a casanova that simply grazing Kazumi’s crotch with his manly knee is enough to make her squeal with delightful pleasure. Yes, guys, that’s how a girl’s body works. Simply touching her vagina at all will turn her on.

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But still, this isn’t even the saddest fucking thing about the current situation. The saddest part is that Kazumi is surprised at the noise she makes as if she has never, ever touched herself before. So you’re trying to tell me this hypersexual girl who constantly wants to fuck the main character has never even masturbated once in her life? Is that even possible? Yes, yes it is. In magical anime land, precocious girls are simultaneously brazen about sex but too innocent to have even explored their own bodies all at the same time. After all, what self-respecting young man would ever want to sleep with a girl who has actually masturbated and thus felt good about sex? We all know she’s a slut unless she’s moaning “Dame~” and pretending like she doesn’t like it.

But enough about the show’s nasty implications about girls and their sexuality. After all, isn’t Ryota on some dangerous mission? Oh right, he wants to make contact with a group that supposedly wants to kill all witches. That sounds horrible for our hero and his harem of hot witches, but it’s the only lead they’ve got. Not only that, they’re running out of time. After all, Kogoro can’t synthesize those pills in a week’s time (on a related note, he sure is keen about that alien Ryota has brought to him). Since this mysterious group full of German speakers seem to hate witches, however, it looks like Ryota’s going to have to do this alone. After all, he totally doesn’t want to endanger his babes. Puh-leeze, as if Ryota would ever do anything alone.

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Ryota predictably runs into trouble with the law, and then the witches — complete with ridiculous helmets — predictably show up to save his ass. They even do it in a way that allows each witch to play up their strengths. For instance, Neko can explode stuff, she she blows up the cops’ bullets. She’s still a dummy, however, just so that Ryota can feel useful. As a result, he tells her to just blow up the cops’ guns. Good thinking! But after disarming the cops, Neko conveniently “hangs-up!” This thus allows the burly cop to charge at Ryota and overpower our weak, ineffectual harem lead with physical strength! This thus allows Kotori to switch places with the cop, thereby saving Ryota’s ass. Oh yeah, Kazumi jams the radio, so the cops can’t call for reinforcements. By our powers combined, we are a bland harem lead and his incredibly stupid haremettes! Woo! Please, Ryota, believe in Neko. Believe in the witch who believes in you!

Afterwards, the bad guys show up with Nanami and use her powers to erase the cops’ memories of their encounter with the witches. The bad guys then officially send Nanami after Neko even though I could’ve sworn they had wanted to do this in a previous episode. Why are they even dragging their feet anyways? Why are they even sending their top-notch witches one by one? And c’mon, how hard is it to notice that three mysterious girls have transferred into the same school? Or that strange events keep occurring around the same location? But oh well, if the witches can be this incompetent and still not get caught, the villains can’t be too smart themselves either. Anyway, Nanami first shows up completely bound and covered in a cloak of some sort, making you think her appearance is truly something to behold.

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But nah, it’s just another twin-tailed, baby-faced girl with huge breasts. That about wraps it up for the episode. We don’t really learn anything new. Oh man, this post is kind of short. Gosh, how can I pad its length? I know, let’s throw in a completely pointless screenshot of an equally completely pointless section of the anime:

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Sweet.

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9 thoughts on “Brynhildr in the Darkness Ep. 8: Needless padding”

  1. Man, few things about this episode just made me laugh to the point where I couldn’t breathe.
    1)Those stupid helmets, there are power ranger helmets that look more subtle
    2)Those sunglasses that guy with the smug face was wearing
    3)After all the “build-up” nanami is just another Rei clone…

    I’m starting to think this show IS a parody of the whole magical girl thing with the big bad sending out the new bad guy of the week only to say “you failed me for the last time” bit

      1. I just found it funny that this show is actually trying to take itself seriously then pulls something like these ridiculous helmets out of nowhere.

  2. “Kazumi was about to rape me”
    Wait what?
    I’m betting it got treated as a joke because “hurr durr girl on girl is hot!”

    1. Oh she wasn’t going to rape rape her. It’s just unsolicited girl-on-girl molestation which is totally different in anime land.

  3. Now that Harem Hill is over, my only dose of your righteous indignation of drivel comes from your reviews of Brynhildr. Keep up the great work!

      1. Apologies. I was under the drunken assumption that Nisekoi alone made Harem Hill, well….Harem Hill.

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