Despite what you see in the screenshot above, I’ll have you know that Mine is a very hardcore assassin!
— You know the anime won’t be any good when its good guys are running through the woods like a bunch of Naruto characters. The only things missing are the two arms sticking out behind their them. No wait, there it is:
Like a flame decal on a Mustang, this lets you run faster! Too bad it’s one of the bad guys doing the pose. Maybe even Akame ga Kill! realizes how dumb this running animation looks. Well, that makes one of us.
— But what are we even doing out here in the woods anyway? Well, it turns out some assassins may have sniffed out Night Raid’s location. As a result, they’ll all have to die. Oh, but don’t you worry! These assassins are evil too! I mean, despite the little, black happy face you might see on the sides of their hoodies, these are all evil rapists:
Oaf: “She’s (Akame) pretty cute.”
Shortie: “Seems we can have fun, even after we kill her. Make sure you don’t wound her too badly…”
So y’see, they’re just a bunch of murderous, rapey necrophiliacs! In fact, our heroes would be doing the world a service by mercilessly killing these fools. But again, don’t make the mistake of thinking we’re the good guys! Naw man, we’re killers! Stone cold killers!
— Oh look, before the bad guys can even blink, Akame has disappeared, slit their throats, then reappeared behind them. And she still has time to make a smart-ass quip!
This may as well be Naruto!
— This is how Mine attacks her opponents. She calls her gun Pumpkin, and like the Atma Weapon of FF6 or something, it gets stronger when its wielder is in bigger trouble. I don’t think any further commentary is necessary. Hell, it’s not even the dumbest-looking thing here. After all, Sheele fights with a pair of giant scissors. Yeah, I know, I know… so did Ryuuko in Kill la Kill, but it’s different. Everything about Kill la Kill is tiny bit eccentric and a tiny bit oddball. Ryuuko eventually uses her giant scissors to cut through killer pieces of fabric and various red strings of fate. On the other hand, Sheele is just a meganneko in a Chinese dress, cutting actual murderers and rapists in half with her scissors. It’s just different. I’d just be wasting everyone’s time if I have to spell it out any further than that.
— When it’s Leone’s turn to show off, she says, “In my case, I simply turn into a beast and hit people.” That’s pretty much what this opening scene is all about. We’re not watching anything important here. The anime just feels like showing off the various different abilities of the various different assassins all at once in a very lazy, perfunctory way. Oh hey, generic assassins are attacking us. Let’s just kill them one-by-one with reckless abandon. Cool, we did it guys! High-five!
— Even the fairer sex isn’t spared!
Why does it look like she got the most painful, agonizing death of the bunch, though?
— But where’s the gratuitous rain of blood? Oh, there it is. Honestly, because of all the blood and guts, the whole thing just seems childish. It’s like, “No, we’re different from those other shounens. We’re edgy. We have a body count that goes up exponentially every week!”
— They just got done murdering a bunch of people. Evil or not, you just killed a bunch of people. Nevertheless, Bulat pays our hero a compliment, so he blushes like a little schoolboy. A-aniki noticed me! Kya~!
— Whoa, but don’t blush too hard! Later that night, Tatsumi can’t help but dream about his aniki’s proud face. Our young schoolboy’s growing up! Pretty soon, he’ll have to change those sheets every morning.
— For just a second, Tatsumi thinks of his former friends, which reminds me that he never really gave himself a chance to mourn their deaths.
— The very next day, Tatsumi has to train with Mine, but the girl is late. As such, Najenda tells our hero to go wake the tsunderekko up, but y’see, this is yet another trial for the young boy:
Clearly, Tatsumi must learn how to knock for his own good. I mean, who just barges into a young woman’s room without any notice!
— Afterwards, Tatsumi and Mine walk around the capital city, talking about how poor and downtrodden the masses are. Yeah, you’re really working my sympathies, anime. The two of them even spot a poor, innocent little girl being bullied by hoodlums in a dark alley. Hardass Mine, however, is all, “Fuck your thanks, little girl! Learn to kill!”
— Tatsumi wonders if it’s okay for the two of them to be walking about like this in broad daylight. Mine assures him it’s okay. After all, the bad guys have only spotted the four faces of Akame, Najenda, Bulat and Sheele. As a result, Tatsumi and Mine are perfectly safe. Hell, if the two of them want to talk about this subject at the top of their lungs, it’s okay too! No one eavesdrops in the capital city. Yo, we have class ’round these parts.
— So what do you guys suppose one would do with a twintailed girl in the capital city? Obviously, you eat crepes and go shopping.
— Mine blushes when the hero expresses his desire to constantly move forward… for his dead friends’ sakes! I’m sorry, but what is there to blush about here?
— Welp, enough fun and games; it’s time for the anime to swing itself back to the super serious side of the spectrum. Wouldja just look at all those public executions? Whatchu gonna do about it, hero?
— By the way, have a look at the young, naive emperor and his evil, manipulative Prime Minister:
I like how the Prime Minister’s name is Honest. Gosh, how ironic!! Before Honest sends some poor guy off to his death, however, he promises to steal and rape the guy’s wife. The anime even has to zoom in close to Honest’s face to let us see that he’s positively drooling at the thought of raping the woman. You can’t get any edgier than that!
— Anyway, after wasting 75% of the episode on stupid shit, it’s finally time for the mission-of-the-week. Najenda sends her assassins after some evil minister who likes to kidnap and beat women to death. Knowing this anime, however, they’re probably not just beating the women to death.
— As Mine takes her aim at the evil minister, Tatsumi remarks that he can feel her drive even from here. It’s emanating!
— And just like that, Mine snipes the bad guy and the mission is over… hmmm, not quite. The good guys will now have to fight off the minister’s guards.
— Oh good, more Narutards:
But we’ll leave that to the rest of the team. Meanwhile, Mine will share her past with Tatsumi. Here comes another generic backstory… Actually, the anime doesn’t even put much effort into it. She’s a halfie, and she was discriminated against. Ho-hum.
— The master guard ambush Tatsumi and Mine, forcing our hero to get his hands dirty protecting the twin-tailed tsunderekko.
— Actually, he just holds the guy in place so that Mine can take the killing shot. Oh, what trust lies between them! These two are like a match made in heaven already!
— And this is pretty much what you get:
Another fine piece of production from White Fox.
— Afterwards, the anime teases the show’s next villain, but why torture ourselves any further? Let’s just put that off till next week. All in all, another boring, uneventful episode. Just killing random people doesn’t make your story eventful. Rather, the slayings become oldhat because every single fight feels sameish.