And we’re back… oh, I seem to have died. Whoops. Technically, I could try and beat the girl, but I’ve heard that this changes nothing, so why bother? Maybe when I was younger, I would’ve actually cared to win this fight, but I’m getting too old for this shit. As a result, the loli in red makes quick of work of our medical student. Heavily-armored sewer guard? Hey, no problem. Diminutive loli in a dress? Now there’s a world-beater if I’ve ever seen one. Please! Won’t anybody save this little boy!

Enter… the hot anime babe:

Yet another battle ensues, but this time, Milla’s with us and–… holy shit, she has five times my HP. Alright then, I’ll just press the Taunt button over and over in the corner, and let the girl do her thing.

Sure enough, Milla wins so easily that I can’t even get a good screenshot of the carnage. Hey, I still got XP so it’s all good.

Jude Law: “Whoa…”
Milla: “I told you to go home. Don’t tell me you live here?”
Jude Law: “No, of course not… I’m sorry…”

Uh, why are we apologizing?

Jude Law: “Er, uh…”
Milla: “Is this the work of the spyrix?”

The word ‘spyrix’ is in red, which is the game’s way of telling you it’s super-duper important to the story. I blame The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for popularizing this trend. In any case, we won’t learn what the spyrix is till much later…

Jude Law: “The what-ix?”
Milla: “Could it be connected to the disappearance of the lesser spirits?”
Jude Law: “Huh? You’re losing me. Disappearing spirits?”
Milla: “You really need to go home. Someone might not swoop to your rescue next time you’re in trouble.”

She’s right. I’ve got my medical career ahead of me. Why would I want to get involved with this conspiracy plot? But alas, this is a JRPG, so our 15-year-old shounen can’t help but stick his nose where it doesn’t belong. Conveniently enough, our loli in red has dropped a keycard…

I wasn’t aware her outfit even had pockets.

Milla: “The spyrix must be somewhere else.”
Jude Law: “Hey, wait. I’m kinda trapped here. If the professor were with me, they might’ve let me leave, but…”

Dude, just leave the same way you came in. The sewers weren’t even that big nor was it well-guarded! Plus, you saw what they did to the professor, didn’t you? Do you honestly think they would’ve let the two of you leave without a fight? Honestly?

Jude Law: “Can I come with you?”

Eh, can we blame him? Who wouldn’t want to tag along with a hot anime babe who has the four great elemental spirits at her disposal?

Milla: “Ha, I see. If you stick with the person who saved you, then you won’t need any more saving. Clever boy.”

Jude Law: “Boy? You don’t look that much older than me.”

Now’s not exactly the time to get all indignant about ageism. Have you forgotten that we’re deep in the heart of an evil JRPG laboratory? Think, medical student, think!

Jude Law: “My name is Jude Mathis Law.”
Milla: “I’m Milla. Milla Maxwell.”

Now, normally, most people wouldn’t bat an eyelash at Milla’s last name. After all, why would you? Maxwell doesn’t seem all that exotic to me. But this is a JRPG, y’see, so if Maxwell is the Lord of the Four Elements, it means no one else can have the same name unless they’re related to or the Maxwell himself. So if our hot anime babe’s name is Milla Maxwell, you know what this pretty much means. But wait, I thought this was what Maxwell looked like…

At least, that’s how he looked in Tales of Symphonia. I’ve no idea what he’s supposed to look like here. Our hot anime babe is the leading contender at the moment, though. Granted, I don’t actually think she is the Maxwell. Again, this is a story from Japan, so some old man doesn’t just magically become the object of our shounen fantasies. But we’ll see…

At this point, we now have two — two — party members. When you head outside, there’s a short cutscene that explains the Lillium Orb system. This is what Milla is referring to in the screenshot below:

Some orb thing in her possession is glowing, I guess, and a quick tutorial thus begins (if you so choose). Basically, the Lillium Orb system is a way to grow and customize your characters as you gain levels. It reminds me a lot of FFX‘s sphere grid:

Whenever you level up, you get GPs to spend, and each of the nodes you see in the screenshot above costs 1 GP (for now… for all I know, this might change later). Plus, when you manage to draw in a trapezoid, you unlock something extra. This is the first JRPG I’ve played in a long time, so I don’t really know what I’m doing nor am I going to spend too much time fiddling with it. As a result, I’m just unlocking stuff willy-nilly. Str+14? That sounds good! If you’re looking for an in-depth breakdown of the game’s mechanics, you’re reading the wrong Let’s Play. I’m more interested in the actual story itself. Anyway, this is what our heroes have to say about the Lillium Orb system…

Jude Law: “So that’s how it works. This is actually my first time developing it, too.”
Milla Jovovich: “I see. So it’s a tool that taps into inherent abilities. I imagine that powerless humans never leave home without them.”
Jude Law: “You talk as if you’re not human yourself.”

Welp, someone has a god complex. I’ll let you guys guess which one. Afterwards, I use my keycard on one of the previously locked rooms, but there’s nothing inside, so we may as well view our first skit. Yes, it’s called a skit. Whenever there’s a skit to be viewed, the ‘Select’ button flashes in the lower left-hand corner of the screen like so:

But what is a skit? It is basically a half-assed cutscene involving some or all of the characters in the party. You see, a real cutscene would require too much work. But at the same time, this is more than just a random conversation that takes place in the field… even though it is a random conversation takes place in the field. You get to choose if when to view skits, though, so it makes them special! Not only that, they have talking heads!

Wait, the random conversations have talking heads too… but these talking heads are bigger! And they can display emotions from the characters… a preset amount of emotions, so the characters can look dejected for no reason whatsoever.

The truth is, these skits used to be a lot more useful in the previous games. Take Tales of Symphonia, for instance. In its skits, your party members would actually ask you, the main character, for your oh-so-special opinion on a variety of topics. Depending on how you answered those questions, you would either gain or lose relationship points with one or multiple characters. Yes, relationship points! In Tales of Symphonia, you had several girls you could actually get with by the end of the game! Do we have that same gameplay feature here? I’m not sure, but it doesn’t look like it. The problem with voice-acting is that as cool as it may seem to sit back and hear your favorite JRPG characters talk out loud, you also limit the the number of choices the developers can provide you. Allowing Jude to get with multiple girls would require the developers to write and hire voice actors for multiple optional scenarios. It’s not always worth the time and money for developers to do such a thing. Sadly, this is an unfortunate side effect of voice-acting becoming prevalent in modern JRPGs.

Of course, games like Persona 3 and Persona 4, can get away with having multiple romantic options, because (1) they don’t bother to voice-act every single piece of dialogue in the game, and (2) the various romantic outcomes don’t make a difference whatsoever with regards to the story. For instance, the ending doesn’t change if you were dating, say, Yukari instead of Fuuka. Nobody even cares. In any case, this is probably why people remember the old games so fondly. Having a choice — even a superficial one — goes a long way.

But enough about that. Let’s look at our first skit (you’ve already seen the first thing Jude has to say):

“Still Shaking” (Every skit has a title, by the way…)

Milla Jovovich: “And for good reason. You were almost killed.”
Jude Law: “I’m a civilian! Why would she attack me like that?”

Did you not see the girl? Didn’t she seem a little unhinged to you, buddy?

Milla Jovovich: “I don’t think she’s part of Rashugal’s army.”
Jude Law: “If she’s not a soldier, then what is she doing at a military facility?”Milla Jovovich: “An ironic question for you or I to ask, don’t you think?”

Clever girl.

Jude Law: “I see your point. Did you… Did you kill her?”
Milla Jovovich: “I’m not sure. I tried to go easy on her, but humans are so fragile. I keep having to tell the Four not to overdo it.”
Jude Law: “I’m not really following you.”

She thinks she’s god, dude. But that’s the end of our first skit! Wasn’t it amazing? Don’t you think these skits add richness and depth to our characters? In all honesty, the skits are a nice way to break up the monotony of dungeon-grinding, but not when they appear back-to-back-to-back…

“Main Order of Business”

Milla (actually, I’m getting tired of typing out their made-up last names…): “Are you finished here?”
Jude: “Huh?”
Milla: “I assume you had some reason for coming to this place?”
Jude: “I was worried because Professor Haus hadn’t come back, but he’s…”
Milla: “One of the people who died while connected to that machine?”
Jude: “Yeah, I can’t believe it. The professor had been so excited about the request from Orda Palace.”
Milla: “I see. Hmm? Yes. Yes, I suppose so.”
Jude: “Huh? W-Wait for me!”

Well, that was… a really meaningful skit… but wait, there’s more! The best part is, I’m just running in circles around this room as these skits pop up.

“One and the Same”

Jude: “MIlla Maxwell? It must be pretty weird having the same name as the Lord of Spirits.”

C’mon, we’ve been over this: no one ever has the same name in a JRPG. We will go through this entire game, and I’ll bet you there won’t be a single other person in this universe with the name ‘Jude.’

Milla: “Not at all. We are one and the same.”
Jude: “I’m sorry?”
Milla: “I am Maxwell, Lord of Spirits.”

Gosh, who could’ve seen that coming! But is she really, though? Is she? Unless Maxwell is really a woman, I just don’t see it. Gods don’t change their sexes in JRPGs. At least, I’ve never seen it. Plus, am I supposed to believe that some old-man-looking spirit decided to pick a hot anime babe as his human vessel? But I suppose there’s a first time for everything… and I suppose you could even argue that spirits don’t have genders to begin with. But then again, Sylph has always seemed pretty girly to me. Meh, I don’t know what to think anymore.

Jude: “What?! Come on! You’re totally human! You…”

Yeah, he blushes. Her holy hotness is making our 15-year-old boy feel funny in the groin area.

Milla: “I would hope so. This is the form I created for myself.”

Could you maybe give yourself a larger waist next time? I mean, just look at yourself:

Jude: “The form you created?”

More skits! I demand more! All at the same time!

“Proof of Identity”

Jude: “So, you’re that Maxwell. Lord of Spirits, Ruler of Elements.”
Milla: “You don’t believe me?”
Jude: “A person claiming to be a spirit? It’s a bit much to swallow.”
Milla: “Then how do you humans prove your identities to each other?”
Jude: “Well, by showing identification, I guess. I have a medical school ID card.”

C’mon, medical bro, isn’t that a bit circular? I’m Jude, because my medical school ID card says I’m Jude! And my medical school ID card says I’m Jude because I’m… uh, Jude…

Milla: “Ah. Then I doubt that I’ll be able to prove my identity to your satisfaction. I wouldn’t even know where to apply for a spirit ID card.”
Jude: “Is it really okay for me to be following this person?”

Then don’t. You can still leave the same way you came iiiiiiiin~ But that’s the last of the skits for now. Do you guys want to see every single one of them? Or should I just pick and choose the most important ones? Back to our game, however, I now get to explore the rest of the oh-so-secret laboratory, but like before, there isn’t much to see. Our random encounters have changed somewhat, though. Whereas before, I only had to fight one enemy at a time, now that I have the positively overpowered Lord of Spirits with me, there are three generic enemies to fight! Three!

With Milla in the party, you can chain your attacks with hers in order to create huge multi-hit combos, and this will unlock titles or maybe even items. At least, I remember getting items in Tales of Symphonia. If you haven’t played the Tales of… series before, you can even hook up a second controller to the console and have a friend play as one of the other characters. They don’t get to do anything while you’re out running around in the field though, so I guess you can only participate when there’s an actual battle. While this is a cool perk to an otherwise solitary JRPG experience, they could have done a lot more with it. Hell, Seiken Densetsu 3 allows you to play as a character inside and outside of battle. Granted, you don’t get taken to a special battlefield in that game whenever a fight starts, but that’s not a bad thing either.

So I’m running around, gathering EXP and gald. I try my hand at another previously locked door and…

…well, it’s still locked. Why even bother, you know? So even though we have this amazing keycard, I can still only head myself in one direction. One of the previously locked doors does eventually open up to a whole new area…

…an area that looks exactly like the previous one, but hey, it’s slightly darker this time! Plus, by entering this room, we’ve unlocked another skit! And boy, I know how much you guys love to read idle banter!

“Cold Comfort”

Jude: “I always wanted to live up to Professor Haus’ expectations. But now he’s dead.”
Milla: “…”

At this point, Milla’s talking head floats closer to Jude’s talking head. This is the game’s way of showing you that she’s cuddling him. No, really:

Jude: “What… What are you doing?”
Milla: “I’m cuddling you.”
Jude: “Uh… Why?”
Milla: “I read it in a book. When humans are upset, they feel better when you cuddle them.”

As we continue on this journey, you’ll notice that Milla’s knowledge of humans comes from books and books alone. That’s how it is in these JRPGs. The hero tends to go through a coming-of-age arc where he starts off weak, unsure, and timid, but eventually morphs into Captain Grab-The-World-By-The-Balls Man. Meanwhile, the heroine almost never starts off as a normal girl. She’s always special right off the bat. Chosen by the gods somehow. Maybe she’s a priestess. Most of the time, she’s just a sheltered princess — literally or figuratively — who needs the hero’s help to show her what lies beyond the walls of her privileged upbringing. Milla might be the personification of some fancy, hoity-toity Lord of the Spirits, but honestly, her archetype doesn’t differ much from the sheltered princess. Again, she knows nothing about humans. She isn’t even human herself. But this journey — this magical journey — will allow her to see the world, see new people, and thus slowly become human herself. Awwwwwwwwwwwthat’s the same damn story as always. But anyway, lets continue with the skit:

Jude: “What book was that?”
Milla: “‘A Mother’s Eyes, A Mother’s Touch’.”
Jude: “That sounds like a book about child-rearing. I’m not a baby.”

Yeah, well, you are 15…

Milla: “This technique has no effect on you?”

Oh, I’m sure it does…

Milla: “Humans are so complicated…”
Jude: “Haha, well, I guess I do feel a little better. Thank you.”
Milla: “Hm? So it does work.”

That’s it. Time to explore the rest of this dun–… Oh, for the love of god…

“Going Deeper”

Jude: “Wait, doesn’t this lead deeper inside? We’re not heading to the exit?”
Milla: “No.”
Jude: “There’s something seriously wrong here. Shouldn’t we get out?”
Milla: “I’m aware of the danger, but there’s something I must find. I’m afraid I can’t escort you out before then.”
Jude: “Sure. After all, I was the one who asked to go with you.”
Milla: “Heh.”
Jude: “What’s so funny?”
Milla: “It’s nothing. When my business here is done, I promise to see you safely out of here. There’s no need to worry.”
Jude: “Thanks.”

Finally, the skits are over with. I should mention that although Milla is positively OP now, she won’t stay that way. Rather, it’s Jude who’s OP because not only can he brawl with the best of them, he can also heal. Well, he is a medical student. And yes, our healer at the start of this JRPG isn’t a girl this time. Hell, Milla even swings her sword around like a true warrior. If only she was also dressed for the task… Don’t get me wrong, though. I hear a dedicated healer will eventually show up in the story, and not only that, it’ll be a girlie girl. But for now, Jude, the medical student, will patch things up for us whenever the party has sustained too much damage.

Whoops, I spoke too soon. Here’s yet another skit:

“Sparring Time”

Milla: “You seem to know your way around a fight.”
Jude: “Yeah. I studied self-defense when I was a kid.”
Milla: “They say that even the best-trained soldiers may panic in the face of actual combat. Yet you seem completely together.”

Baby, c’mon… I’m the JRPG shounen!

Jude: “Well, I had a friend I trained with who used to shout ‘sparring time’ and attack me out of the blue. So it’s probably thanks to her.”

So you’re telling me that by sparring with a girl — a childhood friend who’s probably in love with him, no less — this is the reason why Jude can now fight vicious guard dogs and full-grown men without any panic whatsoever? Seriously?

Milla: “I see.”
Jude: “I’d always wind up on the ground, covered in bruises.”

Wow, way to be beaten by a little girl.

Milla: “I’m sorry to dredge up such painful memories.”
Jude: “What? No, it’s not like that.”

Yeah, he liked it.

Milla: “Don’t all bullied children say that?”
Jude: “Bullied?! That’s not what– Wait… Was it?”

Your childhood friend likes you, you nitwit. I haven’t even met her, and I’m sure she does! Oh well, onward with our journey. Eventually, I stumble upon the room I’m supposed to enter. Unfortunately, I had failed to fully explore the rest of the previous room. Oops, there’s no going back now unless I reload a previous save. I’m not going to do that, though, so as a result, I lose out on all those wonderful treasures like… chunks of wood and spiderwebs. I’m so sad…

Looks like someone here is compensating for something… But this is supposedly the spyrix weapon that Milla has been looking for. I know! Let’s fiddle with the controls to a weapon that we know nothing about! What could possibly go wrong?

Milla: “Hmph. So this is what humans call irony. Naming this weapon after Kresnik.”

I’m sorry, but what? Just because you’re Lord of the Spirits doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know what irony is. Did us humans get exclusive rights to the concept of irony or something? Anyway, I take it this Kresnik guy is important…

Milla proceeds to summon forth the Four Great Spirits, which surprises Jude.

Jude: “So that really makes her Maxwell?”

Or she’s just a really, really special summoner.

Unfortunately for our heroes, however, the loli in red reappears (probably should’ve killed her when we had the chance):

Hah, what are you going to do? Sap Milla of all her powers, thereby turning her into a normal JRPG party member?

Motherfucker!

Milla: “Fool! Are you insane?”

C’mon, it’s the loli in red… of course she is.

Milla: “Don’t you know this is going to drain you, too?!”
Loli in red: “Aha! Aha ha ha! Your suffering… It’s– It’s worth it!”

The loli in red proceeds to fall over the side of the platform she was standing on. Meanwhile, Captain Medical Student over here decides to clue us in on what is happening to the two of them:

Milla: “This wasn’t part of the plan. But it’s nothing I can’t deal with!
Jude: “Are you gonna try and stop it? Do you know what you’re doing?”
Milla: “That’s it…”
Jude: “Milla! Look down!”

Milla: “Stop! Or you’ll be dragged in with it!”

She’s referring to this thing… whatever it is:

Anyway, Milla tries her best to grab this other thing, ’cause she somehow knows it’s the key to everything:

Meanwhile, the Four Great Spirits have a message for Jude…

Jude: “H-huh? The Four Spirits? Wait… Take Milla and then run? Huh? What? What are you trying to do?”

An explosion, however, sends Jude flying backwards. Milla has managed to finally grab the thing she’s been trying to reach this entire time, but the whole place begins to come apart at the seams:

Milla tries to use her magic, but it’s to no avail. It looks like she was trying to summon Sylph to prevent herself from plummeting into the water:

Aw, I knew it! I knew it! I never get to have an overpowered party member in any of these JRPGs! As soon as they officially join my party, they become weaklings! Or they die like General Leo! Fuck this!

With our hot anime babe taking a fall, our shounen hero can’t help but fall for her…

Meanwhile, an unknown figure has been observing the whole situation unfold…

So… what happens next? I’ll tell you what happens next… ANIME OPENING! I’m too lazy to edit and upload my own videos at the moment, so I’ll just link to what someone else has so conveniently provided for us:

Whooooahooooowwahooooa oohhhhh~ Yeah, it’s pretty much got everything you could ask for. There’s even a generic pop song from Ayumi Hamasaki. Who had any idea she was still relevant? Oh well. When we finally return to the main story, our heroes are now outside the oh-so-secret evil laboratory:

A-are you serious? That’s how easy it was to escape? Just jump over the railings and have a little swim?

Milla: “It’s not as easy as Undine makes it look.”
Jude: “So you really have lost the power of the Four Great Spirits.”

No need to rub it in, buddy. I was so prepared to have the Lord of Spirits carry me through the game… ;;

Jude: “What are you going to do now?”

Milla: “You have a point. Perhaps if I were to return to Nia Khera… Listen, you’ve been a great help, Jude. Thank you. You should go home now.”
Jude: “Wait!”

The game has this thing where it loves to inform you every single time someone joins or leaves the party.

So for now, Milla has left the party, but as soon as we climb these stairs…

Oh look, it’s Milla! And it appears that she needs our help!

Milla: “How foolish, Jude. You should have gone home like I asked.”

Lady, all I did was climb the stairs, and already, I ran into you and this cutscene. I didn’t exactly have a fucking choice in the matter.

Cahoots? Are you serious?

Unfortunately for our Lord of Spirits, she no longer has the Four Great Spirits to guide her actions. As a result, she can’t even wield a blade anymore:

Jude: “What?! Haven’t you ever wielded a sword before?”

Dude, shut up. You just went through an entire dungeon where she wielded a sword and carried your ass. It doesn’t take a medical doctor to realize she’s lost her powers.

Milla: “Of course, but I always relied on the Four’s power to guide my arm. It feels quite different without their help.”
Random Guard: “Come quietly or else.”
Jude: “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

I can’t believe it either. Oh wait, it’s a JRPG, so it’s not like I have a choice in the matter! Time to make myself a criminal and help the hot anime babe who won’t put out anyway!

As you can see, a battle has begun, and the yung Milla Maxwell now has less HP than me. S-she died so young… WHY, GOD, WHY? You should have taken Jude instead! In the end, however, our heroes still make quick work of the heavily-armored guard.

Jude: “What’s gotten into me?”

You’re fifteen, so from now on, you’re going to start taking notice of the opposite sex unless, of course, you swing the other way…

Milla: “You’ve saved me again, Jude. Thank you.”
Jude: “Listen, you’d better get out of Fennmont while you can.”
Milla: “Right. You have my gratitude.”
Jude: “The city entrance is always crawling with police. You’d be safer heading to the seahaven.”
Milla: “Hmm, the seahaven.”
Jude: “You don’t know where it is, do you? This way.”

I now get control of Jude again. At the same time, one of those random conversations unfolds as I’m running around.

But y’see, it’s not a skit! It’s different! Somehow…

Jude: “It’s okay. Besides, I still owe you for saving me. I’ll show you to the seahaven.”
Milla: “A-choo! If Efreet were here, I’d never have to be drenched like this.”

At this point, I could wander around and see if there’s anything to look at while I’m here, but… nah. Let’s just make a beeline for the seahaven. After all, I talked to one of the NPCs, and her lines haven’t even changed. Soldiers everywhere? Oh well, no big deal! But yes, as you run around, you’ll notice that the place is now crawling with enemy soldiers looking for our heroes.

But of course, they’re blind as bats, so you can easily avoid them and make your way to the safety of a cutscene…

Time to hop on that boat and get the hell out of this dump, right? Eh, not so fast…

Jude: “Huh, what’s going on?”
Mr. Eldin: “Doctor? Doctor Jude? From the medical school?”
Jude: “Mr. Eldin? Is that you? What’s going on here?”
Mr. Eldin: “I can’t believe you’re the one we’re looking for.”

Mr. Eldin: “I’m authorized to use force if necessary, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

Yo, I saw what you’re doing to those people in the laboratory. You can’t fool me.

Jude: “But wait, just hold on a minute. We may have done a little breaking-and-entering…”

A little, he says…

Jude: “…but that hardly makes us public enemy number one!”

Milla: “So much for that. It looks like they’re not listening.”
Jude: “Mr. Eldin!”
Mr. Eldin: “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I have my orders.”
Milla: “Jude, I can’t let them capture me.”

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Mr. Eldin: “Then we’ll do it the hard way. Go on, get her!”

Exciting. This stiff, awkward action scene is still better than anything we’ve gotten in Mahouka! But the boat is leaving, so Milla doesn’t have time to waste.

Milla: “This is goodbye, Jude. Forgive me for all of this.”
Mr. Eldin: “Think your next move over carefully, Doc. The more trouble you give us, the harder your sentence.”
Jude: “It’s just that… I just wanted to…”

The best part is how Mr. Eldin says he want to capture Milla, but then he and his soldiers just stand there and allow her to run towards the ship. Mr. Eldin must believe that Jude is a higher priority, I guess. Indeed, things are looking grim for our shounen hero. All of a sudden, a guy shows up to help Jude out!

Hey, wait a minute…! You’re the guy from the laboratory!

Jude: “Wh-Who are you?”

Someone who was watching us in the laboratory. Don’t trust him!

New Guy: “Save the chit-chat for later. Your lovely lady friend’s about to set sail, you know.”
Jude: “Wait, but I…”
New Guy: “Listen close, kid. The military issued your warrant, and with the Military Powers Act invoked…”

I assume that’s bad because anything that has to do with the military is always bad when it comes to JRPGs…

New Guy: “You’re an X-marked criminal. If they catch you, you’ll face… execution!”
Jude: “What, execution?!”

I don’t get why Jude is so surprised. Did he or did he not see what had happened to his precious Professor Haus? So why wouldn’t he expect the same fate for himself if he gets caught? He just infiltrated a government laboratory full of sick, twisted experiments. Ah well, there’s no time to talk, because here comes the reinforcements:

In fact, the new guy proceeds to pick our hero up and just carry him like a football.

But look how far away the boat is!

Surely, you don’t intend to leap your way to the ship!

Oh, for fuck’s sake…

See, even if Milla, the Lord of Spirits, can’t believe her eyes. Alright, let’s call it a day here. Tune in next time to see what our young medical student has gotten himself into. And for those of you who have played the game before, try not to spoil too much of the story in the comments. Not everyone has played the game, and while I don’t personally care about spoilers, others might.