Akame ga Kill! Ep. 8: I’m pretty sure John Madden directed this episode

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I mean, how else would you explain the anime’s insightful dialogue?

— So Bulat’s beloved General Liver is now a servant to Esdeath. Not that we didn’t see it coming from a mile away. Still, you either die a hero, or live long enough to see–… wait, that’s for a good, meaningful story. I forgot for a second that I was watching Akame ga Kill! So y’know, the good guy doesn’t fall from grace due to a series of deeply painful betrayals, thereby causing him to lose faith in humanity. He falls from grace simply because… well, simply because. You’ll find out later that he just straight up idolizes Esdeath. That’s it. That’s really it.

— “Blah blah blah, you’re not supposed to take Akame ga Kill! seriously.” Tell that the studio behind this adaptation, then. Oftentimes, however, people read the source material, and let the source material color their interpretation of the adaptation. It doesn’t matter what happens in the manga. This is a new thing, now. I’m not going to judge the anime by what I find in the manga. That’s ridiculous.

— Sweet, just sit here and explain your Imperial Arms to me. It was “[c]reated from the organ of an aquat–…” I don’t give a shit. This means nothing. This is just bullshit you can use to pad out a character’s equally pointless Wikipedia entry.

— So we have two fights going on at the same time: Tatsumi will be taking Nyau on by his lonesome while Bulat attempts to subdue a former ally. These characters talk way too fucking much. I wish the anime would just choose to be good at something, y’know. And if you’re an action anime, just go balls-to-the walls with the action. But you can’t when you constantly interrupt yourself to say some dumb-as-shit quip. Hey, if you want your characters to be a bunch of smartasses instead, then do that too. At the moment, the anime does nothing well.

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— Like what the fuck is even happening here? White Fox suddenly decides not to, well, animate.

— Hurr, it’s what you see in every shounen! Yeah, it’s what you always see. So let’s not change anything. Just repeat to yourself: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Problem is, it’s broken. Secondly, people who believe this nonsense sound like they’ve been brainwashed by some cult. No, not change! Not chaaaaaaange!

— Meanwhile, Liver would rather show off than fight.

— Dude, he’s busy talking. He’s busy talking! Just attack him while he has his fucking eyes closed! No, this action isn’t good. It sucks. It’s lazy and unimaginative. It’s all flash and no substance. Meanwhile, the two weaker punks are just doing the whole “My dad can beat your dad up!routine. A parody has to, y’know, either be funny or shed light on some particular subject in an ironic way. Nothing like that here, nope…

— “Ho ho, you did x because y. But now that you’ve done x, i can do z.” Yawn. It’s like Madden for anime nerds. “Let me break it down for you guys!”

— The water pressure hit Bulat’s back so hard, it made his face mask shatter. Liver then proceeds to gangbang the guy with a bunch of water dragons. Good action. You can tell that Bulat is in a world of hurt because he’s screaming. Screaming is true pain.

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— Of course, Bulat doesn’t die. He even has an opening to defeat Liver because… because? Who even knows? Good action is itself a narrative. Here, things just happen. Bulat was getting fucked in every orifice by columns of water, but then he reappears ready to kill Liver!

Step 1: Lose.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Win!

Unfortunately, Tatsumi sucks, so Nyau was able to deflect Bulat’s attack which Liver wasn’t going to avoid because… because…? Eh, why bother anymore? The anime is just bad. It can’t even do action right, which is supposed to be its one calling card.

— But no! Tatsumi doesn’t really suck! ‘Cause he totally survived even though he doesn’t have an Imperial Arms to call his own! As a result, our shounen lead actually owns! Y’all just don’t realize it yet!

— Bulat has to put his Imperial Arms away, so Liver thinks he now has the upper-hand. But then Akame ga Kill! does that bullshit shounen thing where one guy goes, “Heh, you haven’t noticed your [insert severe injury here]!” The shounen then cuts to said severe injury followed by the other guy’s shocked expression. Whaaaa? I’m bleeding from my ears? How could that be? Whaaaaaaaaa~?! It ain’t broke, right?

— Anyway, Liver tries to recruit Bulat. Sorry man, but he’s supposed to die. How else will Tatsumi get his hands on a precious Imperial Arms? C’mon, the anime’s been foreshadowing this pretty hard, especially with the whole “You totally survived without one” nonsense. It’s a foregone conclusion.

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— According to Liver, he’s not serving the Empire! He’s serving Lady Esdeath… who in turns serves the Empire. But yo, it’s totally different, dude. You should check out the perks! Paid free vacations, and I’ve even heard — and this is only because people love to post spoilers — she’ll even let you rape an entire village for all your hard work. Nope, not like serving the Empire at all!

— Even with both their Imperial Arms out of commission, this duel will now come down to a simple swordfight… so Tatsumi goes, “Ah, Aniki! This guy’s dangerous.” Thanks, Madden.

— So they fight some more, and it’s like every other swordfight in this anime… it’s shit, people. It’s shit. They’re not even moving their legs.

— Somehow, Bulat gets the upper hand and shatters Liver’s blade. This entire time, Tatsumi’s strong enough to cheer and yell, “Yatta!” He’s just not strong enough to… oh, I don’t know, help Bulat by distracting Liver from afar. Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t have been very honorable for Tatsumi to team up against Liver. ‘Cause if there’s one thing you can always count on, it’s honor among assassins.

— But like every other shitty fight in this anime, no one ever goes down simply. Somehow, Liver turns his blood into blades themselves. It would’ve been more believable if his blood was simply diseased. Then it’d be obvious that Liver doesn’t have long to live, which is why he’s decided to join Esdeath and live the rest of his life out in luxury. But nah, Blood of Blades, yo! Er, Blade of Blood! ‘Cause the order of the words really matters.

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— So Bulat stands in one place again, swinging his sword at supersonic speeds again, and Tatsumi does nothing but scream, “Aniki” again. This must be a walk in the park for White Fox. You can put in no effort and still reap the blu-ray sales, I’m sure. ‘Cause who wouldn’t want to see these action scenes in glorious 1080p? Watch a man stand still… the way it’s supposed to be seen!

— Still, Bulat withstands the attack, and Liver falls to the ground. Well, here’s your chance. Finish the guy off! C’mon, guys, finish him off. Stomp on his corpse. It’s the only way to ensure he won’t get back up! Guys…?

— Instead, Bulat collapses onto Tatsumi’s shoulders, and the latter thinks to himself, “…to think we both survived such powerful opponents!” Hoo boy…

— Hey look, Liver is still alive. Not only that, he has poisoned Bulat. It’s not really a plot twist if you just make shit up as you go along, though. It’s like those silly fights with that childhood friend. You know the one.

“I beat you with my Dragon Punch!”
“Oh yeah? Well, I totally blocked your Dragon Punch with my shield!”
“Where did you get a shield?”
“Uh, I just always had it!”

Bulat totally hasn’t won, ’cause, um, poison! Yeah, poison!

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— Oh yeah, here’s yet another trump card. “Nuh-uh, you can’t beat me! I can become super strong like the Hulk!”

— “It can also be used to affect my own body.” I have eyes; I can tell.

— “He increased his strength… So this is his secret technique.” He just told you it was his secret technique. He just told you this. Goddamn fucking Maddens everywhere.

— Oh look, Tatsumi can still pick up a sword. Dude, I thought you were too weak to fight! Good thing you saved your strength and watched Bulat fight Liver all by his lonesome!

— Bulat wants to entrust his Imperial Arms to Tatsumi. Nyau, however, thinks it’s a bad idea for Tatsumi to even try and put the armor on. So Bulat punches Tatsumi and warns him not to put too much stock in the enemy’s words. Meanwhile, Nyau’s just standing there. Oh, I’m sure his inaction is due to his arrogance. Like every other shitty shounen out there, the bad guy will let a surefire victory slip out of his grasp simply because he’s arrogant. We thus get the luxury to see this same trope for the billionth time. Don’t fix what ain’t broken, huh?

— Fuck, they’re still talking about Imperial Arms and how you need compatibility with them. Who the hell cares? Just fight, you assholes.

— Eventually, Tatsumi decides to put the armor on…

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It seems the Imperial Arms’ raw form is still alive, whatever that means. As a result, Bulat decides to take the time out and tell us all about the Incursio and where it had come from.

— What a fearsome dragon, picking on Bambi and all.

— So right, because Tatsumi has so much shounen passion, the Incursio is evolving. Magically, Tatsumi can use the Incursio better than Bulat ever could. No wonder we don’t need you anymore, Aniki. Just go jump off the boat or something.

— So that’s it. Tatsumi pretty much takes Nyau out in a single move. As a result, the only person left standing is the shounen hero. That plot armor is pretty impressive. Shit, he literally got to put the plot armor on, too. Tatsumi then goes and has a good cry over his bro’s death.

— Elsewhere, we see Kurome and her people doing something with a bunch of dead bodies. For some reason, they’re in school uniforms. A messenger tells Kurome she’s been summoned back to the capital in order to form some fancy organization. Look, the Three Beasts just died to two peop–… more like one and a half person all by themselves. Obviously, we need a badass group of evil bastards to replace them. Who better than to pick Kurome, who then reveals that she is none other than Akame’s sister. Welp, that was predictable.


18 Replies to “Akame ga Kill! Ep. 8: I’m pretty sure John Madden directed this episode”

  1. I would be utterly insensitive and offensive to say this is a cancer-tier, shittier Kamina and Shimon relationship, but I don’t want to dishonor Kamina and Shimon’s names. Just like Naruto and Sasuke, their relationship is utterly contrived.

  2. Well talking in fights to make it seem more grand does work in anime. Fist of the north star and Grappler Baki did this well. It was pretty bad here and done at awkward times. The one thing this show had going for it in the action department is starting to fall flat. This was just bad…Inursiro did look like a bad ass dragon how ever.

    1. Well talking in fights to make it seem more grand does work in anime.

      Doesn’t work here. I’m only focused on the here.

    2. It works much better in manga or comics. Just read Watchmen where Ozymendes is body tossing one of the hero while giving one page long lecture. Somehow, it doesn’t seems funny at all since your reader mind tries to adjust the situation as “tossed first & talked later when the others were trying to regroup themselves”. I have seen several scenes in this manga which you won’t mind in that format, but somehow I’m quiestioning their execution here. For eg, the previous two fights looks much ridiculous with all the talks slowing things down, compared to say Aldnoah Zero which is anime first & has very fluid action scenes to suit the medium. I’ll also add that these manga fights translation into anime for most of the recent series are similarly sluggish & involves too much pause to talk moments.

  3. Why do main characters have to be either really weak willed or be inhumanly strong willed?
    Another sister? What’s up with that?

  4. “Aniki!” check. Big boat, check. Episode 8, check.

    Second shitty show to reference a much better show this week.

    As for the fights working better in the manga, really? They both end in stills anyway. The other Kill show was a great example of using a crappy budget to good effect. For a ‘big ticket’ anime to be so shoddily animated is inexcusable (seriously, look at Bulat’s face during Tatsumi’s transformation) and only highlights the source material’s shortcomings.

    Plus they fucked up Kurome’s hair.

  5. I´m prettu sure the only reason people enjoy this crap is for the ridiculous death scenes, well, I myself found very funny to skip dialogues and other boring stuff (expositions everywhere!) and just look at the death scenes, because they are so ridiculous and badly done, that is funny to watch. Plus, the trainwreck that is Esdeathsu story or whatever it can be called, being so meany but so hungry for love, is just so contrasting that is interesting to know how badly it will end!

  6. I usually get some enjoyment out of battle shounens if only for the ridiculousness, but this show is doing nothing for me. I wonder why it seems to be much more popular than most. Is it just for the death scenes? The fights aren’t even that entertaining.

    1. It got hyped up on forums a lot. In Gantz, Fist of the North Star, Guyver, Tenjou tenge forums people where recommending this. Thing is those series where so much better. Even this series bread and butter the action scenes are just meeh. The person behind this series can not be a fan of action series or martial arts at all even Naruto is better choreographed than this. Everyone just attacks in a B line its horrible and extremely unrealistic.

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