Sword Art Online II Ep. 9: Get down

get down kirito

Welp, it’s that time of the week again.

— So Kirito’s harem is watching footage from an MMO tournament… in their own MMO. It’s kind of silly, really. I’m sure there are better ways to hang out with friends than to log online and sit in some virtual bar. Hell, if you look closely, they even have drinks in their hands. Drinks! What are you drinking? A virtual drink?! The sad part is, unlike most online friends, they actually live close to each other. They have the luxury to go outside into the real world and hang out with each other. But dude, hanging out in this virtual bar, drinking virtual drinks is just so fucking awesome! Yeah, we play MMOs so we can pretend as though we fighting fire-breathing dragons and whatnot, but let’s not pretend as though drinking virtual drinks with friends online is somehow better than the real thing.

— I like how Klein isn’t allowed to sit next to the girls. He’s here to make sure nothing happens to Kirito’s precious harem, but he better watch himself!

— Leafa: “Onii-chan’s not getting much screen time.” I think he gets enough, brocon girl.

— Klein: “[Kirito] may not seem like it, but he’s the strategist type.” Oh lord.

— Regarding the “Why didn’t Pale Rider use a sword if he likes to get up close to people” discussion from last week’s comments, eh… If I had those acrobatic skills, I wouldn’t necessarily use a sword just because I could. If you can get up close to someone, why not just use a knife for easy kills? I think a sword simply overdoes it. At that range, you have shorter, easier swings with a knife, and can probably hit more vital points than a sword.

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— On the other hand, this is just a shitty anime, so who gives a shit what they use! I only make fun of the main character for using a sword because he wants to be super special.

— Man, we already saw this shit where Pale Rider gets owned, and yet for some reason, we need to rewatch it just so we can see how Kirito’s harem will react. It’s like one of those shitty Youtube reaction videos. Like yeah, sometimes they can be amusing if the person actually offers up some interesting commentary, but we’re talking about Kirito’s harem. And all they do is describe the plainly obvious. Oh, Pale Rider got paralyzed? Tell me more! “It’s like the wind magic spell Thunder Web.” Fantastic. I surely will appreciate the anime more now that I’ve received this knowledge.

— I like how the camera angles are all bad too even though we’re watching footage from another video game. As a result, you can put the camera anywhere you want to give your viewers a clear picture.

— Why does everyone react to Death Gun as if he’s scary? First, he looks goofy as fuck, but more importantly, they know nothing about him or the Death Gun rumors. They have no idea Death Gun can actually kill people in real life. As a result, they have no reason to be scared. They should just be like, “Wow, that guy’s a tryhard.”

— I like how Kirito told Sinon to take a shot, but he himself doesn’t try to do anything. What a badass hero.

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— Oh my God, Death Gun even has to step on the “DISCONNECTION” sign. Grr, now you’re truly dead!!! Please, stop, you’re hurting my sides.

— Asuna and Klein both recognize the guy. Good for them. Too bad they’re not allowed to participate in the story, so this is all just empty talk. But hey, somewhere out in there in some alternate dimension, you guys probably get to be heroes too…

— So after seeing Death Gun, are Kirito and Sinon afraid? Are they going to move from their location to somewhere more secure? Nah, let’s just sit here and talk about Death Gun. I’m sure he won’t come after us. Of course, he won’t come after them because he can’t actually kill them; I’m sure he has to track them down in real life. Still, the characters don’t know this yet.

— Sinon can’t find the guy on her terminal, so she concludes that he must be hiding in the water just like how Kirito had done so in last week’s episode. As a result, the two of them can get a jump on Death Gun! But Kirito tells her to stay far away! What if… what if his virtual bullet can kill you too?! I mean, yeah, three people have died already, but this isn’t rocket science. Can these VR headsets kill you or not? Do they even have the capabilities of doing so? No? Then what the fuck are you scared of? And why haven’t you come to the conclusion yet that there are multiple people involved? It’s that simple.

— “That player in the cape, Death Gun, killed lots of people in the VRMMO I was once part of.” That was then, and this is now. Back then, the headsets could kill you. They. No. Longer. Can. Kirito, however, is just being a dense motherfucker as usual. It’s not just Kirito, though. It’s the people who have hired him to do this job. They, too, should have come to the plainly obvious conclusion that the deaths are the result of killings happening in the real world, and the online shit is just for show.

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— Christ, just look at their bodies and how big their heads are in comparison.

— Sinon: “Someone like that is really playing GGO?” What does that even mean? Anyone can play any game.

— Kirito wants to split up, so he goes dashing off and running. Not at full speed, mind you, but he has quite a head start. When Sinon calls out to him and he turns around, however, the girl is right behind him. Makes sense.

— Look at this tsundere shit. Sinon’s going to team up with Kirito. D-Don’t get the wrong idea though! If he dies to Death Gun, they won’t be able to have their duel. That’s the only reason why we have a new girl instead of just stick with Asuna. She’s boring now. She’s all deredere. People want to feel as though they can conquer the tsunderekko, and it ain’t happening with Asuna.

— “I don’t like it,” Sinon says, “but it’ll be safer to work together temporarily and knock him out of the running.” Uh-huh, sure, you don’t like it.

— All of a sudden, the two of them come under attack from this Genghis Khan-looking motherfucker. I’m just laughing at the idea that some poor soul logged onto GGO, excited to see what he’ll be playing at, and this is what he gets. “Aw man… I guess I’ll just have to play as this ugly avatar since there are no other cool MMOs out there to play!”

— Sinon stares in awe as our hero… as our hero…

Sword Art Online II - 0907Sword Art Online II - 0905
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…yeah. In fact, this episode is just full of quality.

— Hey, let’s check up on Klein and Kirito’s harem: “In SAO, there was an unwritten rule to never let someone’s HP reach zero.” Of course… I mean, I would hope so! But hey, more flashbacks about Laughing Coffin! ‘Cause it isn’t enough to hear exposition about Laughing Coffin from Kirito’s perspective. We need Klein’s perspective too!

— Is it just me or is Leafa’s breasts just getting bigger and bigger with each passing episode? This isn’t even her real self, so the implication is that she paid for some character makeover service (for non-MMO players, MMOs let you adjust your character’s looks for a small fee), then slid her breast sliders to max.

— Asuna’s determined to get some answers from Kirito’s employers. I doubt she’ll get any answers, and I doubt she’ll play any significant role from here on out anyway. There’s nothing she can do. Log into GGO? You know that won’t happen. The story wouldn’t let her steal Sinon’s thunder. Walk away and try to live her life? C’mon, what Japanese waifu would do that! Her only option left is to sit and wait for Kirito to get the job done. I’ll laugh though if she literally goes to his bedside and waits for the fucker to wake up.

— Sinon and Kirito are in hot pursuit of Death Gun, and by “hot pursuit,” I mean they have no clue where he’s gone. But that’s okay, because Detective Sinon is on the case! “‘Gunner’ is like the ‘Gun’ of ‘Death Gun.'” Ooh, do tell! “And the ‘X’ is like the cross gesture he made. Or is that too obvious.” Gosh…

— There’s this awkward pause when both characters confess that their real life names are similar to their online handles. Uguu, I know your real name noooow. How hazukashii~

Sword Art Online II - 0916

— “This is the only time I’m helping you, okay?” Sinon says this as she clutches her rifle tightly to her breasts. Yes, yes, let the tsundere flow through you, and soon, the Gary Stu will too.

— According to Sinon, “only Gunner X is in the city.” Kirito then quickly concludes, “In other words, Gunner X is Death Gun.” Hoo boy, I don’t think it’s that easy. It’s an MMO, after all. Maybe Death Gun has hacked the code somehow to make himself appear offline to the satellites.

— After all, the people running this game don’t even seem to care that this Death Gun guy is running around, killing their players. I doubt they give a fuck if Death Gun has somehow managed to bypass the satellites.

— It’s like a bad horror movie where the characters always feel the need to split up. Kirito has Sinon stay behind to back him up because this way, he can “fight without fear.” Oh, okay.

— Sinon suddenly thinks about how she and Kirito will go back to being enemies when they take Death Gun out: “I’ll never seen him again.” Oh, the horror! Luckily, Death Gun won’t go down easy; it appears as though he has gotten the jump on Sinon when a shot from offscreen hits and paralyzes the girl. Man, splitting up just so the Gary Stu could fight without fear sure was a good plan!

— All of a sudden, Death Gun appears out of thin air. Yep, he was invisible this entire time. It was so obvious, too. This is the one trope every crappy story falls back on.

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— Once again, A-1 Pictures can’t get Sinon’s ass right. Either that or she’s taken a massive dump in her pants. I’m sure some fans are into that sort of thing…

— It even turns out Death Gun uses the same gun Sinon had used in real life to kill that psycho, so she gets triggered all over again. I don’t really care about her, though. And yeah, the fact that Death Gun is using that gun is just another obvious clue that her friend is involved, but people already figured this shit out anyway.

— The anime then fades to black as you hear a shot ring out. Yay, generic cliffhanger! Once again, SAO is not even trying.

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48 thoughts on “Sword Art Online II Ep. 9: Get down

  1. elior1

    @e.minor about death gun be her fraind you actully right and wrong at the same time.lets say he just one part of death gun

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      I’ve said over and over that I think more than one person is involved. You don’t even read these posts. Stop shitposting.

      Reply
    1. Anonymous

      It’s just our Gary Stu showboating and also an excuse for “special effects”. Regardless of the intense stupidity of trying to deflect shots or cut rounds in half, look at the huge arcs his sword is taking for no reason. Or how about the ridiculous flip in the air? It’s just Gary Stu acrobatics.
      In Star Wars (’cause let’s face it, it’s a lightsaber), lightsaber wielders usually use both hands to strengthen their grip on the lightsaber and then simply angle their blade to “parry” the shot away from them, often to hit another target. It’s the most sensible, fastest, and effective way to deflect shots (the better alternative being ‘get the fuck out of there’). Because projectiles have enormous energy behind their flight, it’s just an incredible waste of energy to try and take all that force head-on. And hey, Jedi and Sith still manage to look cool while doing this stuff. Gary Stu’s essentially playing baseball and batting rounds so they’re all home-runs (of course). Then our haremette is hurr-durring behind him where of course there’s no danger of catching a stray round; try not to get cut bitch!
      You’re telling me that our Gary Stu can deflect all that projectile energy with one hand, swing his sword in large useless arcs across empty space, and jump and twist his body mid-air (for whatever reason). Apparently because he’s our Gary Stu, the sword won’t be deflected back towards his body or face (because he’s so strong, I guess), has boundless energy to keep up all that wasteful movement and make his sword go zoom-zoom (because he’s so strong, I guess). The laws of PHYSICS don’t apply to Gary Stus, which should be pretty obvious by now. I’ll also believe he has a plot bubble around him that change incoming rounds from hot lead to fluffy marshmallows.
      So basically, it’s a bunch of flashing lights and nothing else. Kind of like what this show is, amirite?

      Note: It’s cool when somebody deflects a round or cuts one in half ONCE. When they do it willy-nilly, it goes into full-retard territory.

      Reply
      1. BoyTitan

        Horrible fight scenes, useless acrobatics and horrible plot. As I have said before this crap is the twilight of anime.

        Reply
    1. Anonymous

      That’s cool, but only because there’s a bunch of people and because someone went through the trouble of making it. Not in SAO though, they can just meet somewhere and see it.

      Reply
  2. Anonymous

    I still can’t get over the fact that sao’s author can’t even get the mmo part right. Poor Genghis kan guy, to think he paid for the game and they made him look like that.
    We never knew what happened to Klein’s pizza from the first episode, I think the anime should focus on that instead.

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      I’d drop the regular show to watch Klein’s Pizza side-show. Even if he’s been relegated to “harem show’s lesser beta male” character, I’d rather chill out with him than anybody else from the show.

      Reply
  3. kaoknight

    It’s funny whenever I tell a SAO fan that it’s a blatant harem and they adamantly deny it. Klein is just that harem cliche of the “dumb best friend” who’s there to make the harem protagonist look better in comparison. Pointing out that he can’t even sit near the haremettes just makes it sadder.

    The animators are either lazy or don’t know how to be subtle with the misplaced fanservice, 9 episodes in and they still can’t draw a normal ass and make his cousins boobs the size of her head while re-using the same still frames and action lines.

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      “Giant OPPAI girl. Wait, it needs a name? Leafa, I guess.”

      SAO isn’t even a GOOD harem show. I mean, seriously, how can you fuck that up. Rail Wars! is doing a better job than SAO is. How? By actually USING the haremettes for something, dumb bullshit for sure, but at least it’s SOMETHING.
      In this episode, they might as well have been 2D cardboard cut-outs that wiggle side to side when they “talk”.
      I don’t expect much from haremettes but, Jesus Christ, this is pretty bad.

      Reply
      1. Anonymous

        Yeah’ at this rate even the typical highschool harem setups are looking like masterpieces in comparison to sao since most of them are at least self aware of how bad they are…

        Reply
    2. E Minor Post author

      It’s funny whenever I tell a SAO fan that it’s a blatant harem and they adamantly deny it.

      Well, they probably define a harem anime as one where the girls each have a chance to get with the guy. Even in that case, however, SAO is very harem-like, so I prefer to call it a harem.

      Reply
  4. Anonymous

    there is strategy involved here!? i don’t know! which? when? where ? how??? i know that using hacked save state in ALFheim is a strategy in its part, but there is strategy? i thought he just steam roll all the way to death…..gun.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    1. It’s been a bunch of episodes but I still face-palm every time I see Kirito swinging around the lightsaber. Goddammit. I’d rather see him with a pair of SMGs or Desert Eagles for Christ’s sake; that’s still dumb as hell but it isn’t as bad as a retarded sword. He could probably do ten times as much damage with dual guns than what he can with a sword. Wait, could he? I’m not so sure anymore. His Gary Stu-ness powering the sword would probably close the gap in some bullshit magical way.

    2. Sinon’s tsun-tsun was pretty puke-worthy. She started out “fine” in the beginning. “Fine” as in “not Kirito”. But again, she’s a girl in this Gary Stu universe, so of course she’ll have the “natural” female attraction to Kirito’s sword.

    3. The cuts to dumb bullshit lip-flapping done by Klein and the harem seriously broke the pace of the episode. Other than saying and doing NOTHING of value, it just ground my patience until I pretty much clicked past their bits. Again, what a great use of characters, and more importantly great use of the haremettes in a harem anime. You know, the whole point of a harem anime. You’d think they’d be used for something more than nothing. Their scenes might as well have been cut entirely and that would’ve made the episode a shit-stain more bearable. Shorter yeah, but that’s only a good thing.

    PS: Man, I care for Death Gun as much as I care for Sachi. Remember her? Yeah, me neither.
    PPS: You can tell that Leafa’s tits were the focus in that screencap/scene. C’mon, you couldn’t even respect the characters just TALKING enough not to cover the screen in breast?
    PPSS: If this universe had any sort of logic, that Genghis Khan sumbitch would’ve killed everyone in the game and made GGO his empire. Look at that drum-magazine and everything. He’s ready to pull the world by the pigtails and fuck it silly. (Look forward to the NTR doujin of him doing that to each of the haremettes. Coming out this winter.)

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      The sword isn’t really the problem. It’s obviously cooler, more stylish, etc. to use a sword. It’s like when people buy Beats by Dre. They know it’s not the best headphones for that price range, but nobody cares. We can criticize him for being the only person who uses a sword, but you can’t blame a non-tactical story to opt for swords over guns.

      Reply
  6. gedata

    I find it hilarious how li’l Sinon took the time to remember the exact type of gun she used to kill that dude IRL. Odd that such a pointless observation would register during such a traumatic moment.

    Reply
  7. Akumaten (@a9ma10)

    I know this show is full of stupid, but this show is full of stupid. There is no live streaming where they can watch without logging on to ALO??

    Reply
  8. neeba

    The animation in the title gif looks actually pretty sick. You made me wanna go watch this episode just to check out that scene. I’ve never bothered with this show before for obvious reasons, but now I wonder if there’s more cool animation I might have missed.

    Reply
      1. neeba

        well, the actual animation looks sick (from the looped gif anyway, it might be different in the actual episode). The movement is smooth and dynamic.

        Reply
        1. E Minor Post author

          The animation isn’t the problem (though I think it has plenty of flaws in it anyway). It’s the decision to make him spin so superfluously.

      1. Anonymous

        Indeed.

        But both are so laughably that’s quite litteraly the only compliment I could come up with for this week’s episode.

        Reply
  9. elior1

    also i was start to think that gunner x was death gun becouse what shinon said make sense.x is meant cross or crisis and gunner is like death gun name.

    Reply
  10. higgsbosoff

    Well, to be honest, drinking virtual drinks means you get the taste without the side effects of alcohol or without getting fat because of the sugar (plus the potential ‘creation’ of new tastes which don’t exist IRL just by playing with nerve impulses). Of course, on the other hand, spending so much time lying and connected with VR headgear should probably give them bedsores or something but hey, you can’t have everything.

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      SAO has proven it’s not the kind of show that really cares about the possibilities of virtual realities.

      Reply
      1. higgsbosoff

        Oh, THAT is for sure. It just happens to stumble upon potentially interesting concepts now and then and proceed to ignore them in order to focus on Kirito’s harem and general invincibility a little more. That’s what turned the experience of viewing the first season from merely boring to actively frustrating and enraging to me (well, that and the godawful villain in ALO. As well as Asuna’s downshifting to damsel in distress. AND the incest, let’s not forget the incest).

        Reply
  11. Killer Queen Arbee

    To be honest, if these people actually live real far IRL, the bar scene would have had a lot more impact on close bonds, long distance or something. In fact, the first episode of this series has Asuna gushing on how they can’t wait for a VR where they can hold ACTUAL HANDS in-game~!

    The BIG problem I have with SAO is that they ALL live in Tokyo and they have the money to meet in Dicey Cafe, and go to the same SAO Victim’s School together, and yet they simply prefer to spend like 90% of their free time in ALO. It lessens A LOT of the impact the show showed in the whole Internet and real world stuff. Hell, I even think that they only know one another’s gamer stats and how they wanna bang Kirito instead of the more personal stuff.

    I still remember there was this side-story involving Silica preferring to spend her New Year’s IN ALO, bitching and avoiding off her family because the family will keep on asking her about her 2 years in SAO. It was never resolved BTW.

    So really, all their talk about IRl and Virtual world lost a lot of meaning when you realize that they meet ALL THE TIME IRL.

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      Yeah, like I said in another comment, SAO doesn’t really care about the possibilities of its subject matter.

      Reply
  12. Lordreynolds

    So, am i the only one who noticed that Klein explained the whole laughing coffin deal to people who were either THERE in that game or should by know know it (the sister)?

    You know i am amazed they can make a game about gunfights boring, considering that many games about having gunfights aren’t boring today.

    Reply
  13. natethegratest

    Death Gun: “Kirito… I am your father.” Dun dun dun dundun dun dundun dunnnn

    dun dun dun dundun dun dundun dunnnn

    dun dun dun dunn dun dun dundundun dun dun dun dun dundundun dun dun

    dun dundun dun dundun

    I can see how much money they would make.

    Reply
      1. natethegratest

        With the stuff they’ve already accomplished without getting a lawsuit, I’m sure they can put out for one more.

        Reply

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