Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance Ep. 9: Nothing in particular happens

Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance - 0911

More tsundere sharks this week? Gosh, you never know…

— You know how the harem lead cross-dressed and kicked butt as Ren Ashbell? Of course you do. The anime’s only been telling us this lame story over and over again. And at the start of this week’s episode, we get to see it from Fahrenfart’s perspective. As a young girl, she was supposed to watch and admire her sister in the Blade Dance tournament. But naturally, a boy (in disguise) won the tournament, so she grew up idolizing Ren Ashbell instead. The thing that gets me is that not a single one of these girls had a contrary opinion of the harem lead. You’d think at least one of them would dislike Ren Ashbell, because hey, we’re all different. And gosh, who better than Fahrenfart, who had to watch her sister fall at the sword of Ren Ashbell. But like everyone else, Fahrenfart falls in love. Love the harem lead. Praise the harem lead. Wash the harem lead’s cock.

— Anyway, this is the ninth episode, so the story should start ramping up to the finale, right? I mean, you can’t possibly tell me that this is a 2-cour anime, right? The thing is, I don’t see how we’re any closer to resolving anything, but I bet the story will just end at some arbitrary cut-off point, and we’ll forget Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance ever existed.

— Kamito happily wakes up to find that there isn’t a naked sword in his bed. Oh gosh darn… Elsewhere, his haremettes are busy cooking a meal for him already. Ah, the life of a harem lead.

Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance - 0909

— Fianna is adding crushed newt to her dish, because crushed newt is apparently an aphrodisiac. This causes Claire to freak out, ’cause she believes every dumb shit she hears. Rubbing your breasts will make them bigger? Sure! Random nasty bits from a newt will make a man horny for you? Sure!

— By the way, Fianna wants the harem lead to lose all restraint and attack her at night: “…wouldn’t it be nice if Kamito had his way with us every once in a while?” If she wants it so badly, why doesn’t she just attack him at night? Oh that’s right, haremettes can’t be a sex-haver.

— They say it’s a bowl of cinders, but it looks like a bowl of animal feces. You be the judge. In fact, it was supposed to be chocolate. Oh well, chocolate, poop… there’s a fine line.

— There’s a festival coming up where people give chocolates to their crush. Who wants to bet the girls shit all over Kamito?

— Oh god, the turd fest never ends.

— When it rains, it pours.

— Fianna: “…so you like this kind of thing, Kamito-kun?” You literally stuck chocolate between your breasts. Don’t start taking the high road.

Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance - 0910

— Then Fahrenfart shows up to get mad. Yawn…

— Oh, I guess we should pay attention to the storyline. Uh, “Murders,” whatever they are, have infiltrated the city to sell cursed seals to the students. Whatever that means. Alright, back to more stupid harem hijinks!

— Aw, it’s just a battle between Team Scarlet and some other faceless team we’ll quickly forget about. Oh yeah, it’s still a 3v5 because Claire can’t swallow her pride and convince her best friend to join the team.

— It’s amusing to see Kamito struggle against these random girls when he’s supposed to be the kick-ass Ren Ashbell. Sure, sure, he’s a lot weaker now, but c’mon. He and his friends just took down some wannabe Demon King who had a billion spirits up his sleeve. How can your classmates be formidable by comparison? Yeah, the harem lead eventually wins, but it shouldn’t even be difficult. It’s funny how in some anime, the battles should be close, but they’re not. And here, the battles are needlessly difficult when they shouldn’t be.

— A girl’s Adamantine summon is able to block Claire’s fire spells. So she just whips it to pieces. Right. Fire < a whip.

— All of a sudden, Fianna gets tentacle-raped by a water spirit. Welp, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance - 0906

— Kamito valiantly saves Claire’s life, and this is the thanks he gets. I guess this season is all about the harem lead getting abused. I wonder what the theme will be for next season’s crop of anime.

— So Team Scarlet wins, and they’re discussing their potential upcoming opponents. They might have to face Velsaria, a.k.a. Fahrenfart’s sister. The older ‘Fart is apparently the strongest elementaler at this school, but we just saw her get destroyed by Ren Ashbell in the cold opening. Ergo, the strongest elementaler at this girls-only school is still weaker than a cross-dressing boy. Makes sense. Then the conversation segues naturally into Claire accusing Scarlet of burning too much of her boob fat. Cool.

— Some girls show up to taunt Claire some more, but I’m not really paying attention. Rinslet also shows up to defend her friend, but claims that she’s not. Uh-huh. Then she suggest the location where Team Scarlet can have their victory lunch, but s-she’s not trying to eat with them or anything! Snore. What a bore. Unfortunately, the harem lead has to split off from the rest of the girls, because he has to take remedial classes or something. I’m not sure what I heard, but that sounds about right.

— In Kamito’s remedial class, he runs into Fahrenfart. Oh good, they’re both clods. Fahrenfart says she only fails her classes because she has to fulfill her duties as a knight. Maybe we shouldn’t let students guard the school. Or if we really had to go that route, maybe we should pick people who can juggle both school and work at the same time. Whoops, don’t mind me. I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about.

schoolgirl shark

— For some reason, Fahrenfart decides to apologize for this morning’s ruckus. Guess we have nothing to talk about, so let’s turn on the girl’s deredere side.

— The harem lead asks Fahrenfart if she’s making turd chocolates too, so the girl replies, “I would never waste time on something like that when I could be helping the school!” You’re failing your classes! You ain’t doing shit!

— Uguu, studying together is so hazukashii~

— And just like that, they have a study date later that day. Oh, how deredere of Fahrenfart… But that’s how it is. The strong swordswoman is actually a dumbass who needs tutoring from the male lead. In a show full of tsunderekkos, they must each have some crippling weakness that he can use against them. Fahrenfart’s weakness is that she’s dumb. Cool.

— Afterwards, Kamito goes to eat with his team. It’s just a bunch of boring scenes that don’t say much of anything other than that Claire’s birthday is coming up. Yeah, I really care about that. He’s just going to get her some cat-shaped pendant. The girls then whined that Kamito spoils his loli. Well, hey, she’s the only one willing to get naked with him.

— Here, have another picture just because this episode was so boring:


So kawaii~


7 Replies to “Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance Ep. 9: Nothing in particular happens”

  1. “Wash the harem lead’s cock” hahahahaha, so funny x’D.
    I facepalmed so hard when Fahrenfart destroyed Kamito’s room with her pokemon wannabe after claiming they were doing a ruckus, yep, she’s really dumb.

  2. It’s pretty late to say this now but it just shows how it still amazes me: the character designs are so incredibly generic. It’s pretty impressive how generic they are. This episode’s art quality for some reason stood out to me. The shading is just, wow. What was this artist’s portfolio to get hired to do this show? Must’ve been jammed pack with quality stuff.
    They’re pretty much all identical to the harem cast that you’ll find in, well, every single eroge out there. Which made me do some Google-fu just in case the character designer’s past was eroge. The whole “elemental powers”-shlick doesn’t help with any originality points either. It’s fine though that they’re all foreigners with non-Japanese because I guess being a foreign person is still considered exotic and fetish-y (even though they’re the most Japanese thing ever)? Man, everybody has terrible last names.
    But of course our harem lead is NIPPON-JIN for no real reason, because that’s not entirely world-illusion breaking.

    Does this show get anything right?

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