Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance Ep. 10: Biotruths

jammu

We’re only up to episode ten, guys. There are possibly two more weeks of this nonsense left to go.

— Kamito meets up with Fahrenfart for their little study date. Just the mere mention that he saw her in the city is enough the make the girl blush. Yeah, anything can make a girl blush. According to anime, girls can only get mad, blush, and get madder.

— The girl blushes some more when she bravely suggests that they study in her… r-room!? Oh dear, how scandalous. I’m telling you, entering a room that belongs to the opposite sex is a big deal. Shit, you may as well get hitched at that point. But on a more serious note, I guess if you’ve never been in a girl’s room before, you automatically assume that doing so constitutes some sort of significant event. But I’m telling ya, girls’ rooms are not very interesting. Guys’ rooms are not very interesting. In general, bedrooms are pretty fucking boring.

— Case in point, Fahrenfart’s room is equally boring as shit, and the watermelon color scheme is tacky as hell.

— Seeing Fahrenfart’s stuffed animals, Kamito remarks that the girl’s “got pretty girly tastes.” Yeah, like I’ve said before, whenever you see a tsunderekko, the goal is to gradually tear away at her character until she’s reduced to yet another bog standard girlie girl. No matter how tough the tsunderekko may seem at first, biotruths will eventually win out.

senpai noticed me

— And sure enough, Fahrenfart emerges from another room with her hair down and her breasts heaving.

— When Kamito claims that he doesn’t like maids, Fahrenfart assumes that he wants something even more perverted. Biotruths, guys. Girls are girlies, and guys are all sex fiends. Except, of course, harem leads sometimes has the luxury of defying his gender expectations. Meanwhile, every haremette eventually ends up the same way…

— Even when a haremette tries to be dominant, she is really only begging to be submissive. Fahrenfart sticks a sword to Kamito’s throat and makes him admit that he loves maids. Then after he does so, she “threatens” him some more: “Now tell me what you want me to do.” It’s like asking for women’s suffrage, then voting for a law that keeps women in the home.

— Kamito wonders if Fahrenfart can do anything that isn’t dangerous. Lo and behold, she’s decent at cooking. We already have two haremettes pretending to be good cooks. Do we really need another one? Couldn’t we have given Fahrenfart anything else to be good at? No, domestic abilities only.

— Then bam, the harem lead is treated to… uh, what is this? But anyway, you get the whole works. She calls him master and all that, and it’s funny how the haremette never makes herself anything to eat. I mean, I guess this makes sense if your only interaction with the opposite sex comes from a maid cafe. But just a small piece of advice: you typically want to eat together with your girlfriend.

extradimensional shark

— Naturally, Fahrenfart’s good at cooking. She’s always threatening to turn Kamito into a food dish, so she has to be good at cooking! Or, y’know, the other girls suck at cooking, so we gotta have at least one girl who is. And who better to sticking cooking skills onto but a girl who likes to appear tough? Oh! The swordswoman is actually a beast in the kitchen! This makes up for the fact that she’s a battleaxe. She is thus a legit candidate for the harem lead’s love!

— Kamito is the king of compliments: “It’s hard to make something normal like this well. You’d make a good wife.” Fahrenfart’s only reaction to the good wife thing is to feed the harem lead herself. Have my girlfriend ever cooked for me? Of course. Has she ever fed me herself? Sure. But of course, I’ve done the same for her and we’ve been together for years. In harems, a.k.a. the land of biotruths, the haremette will hardly know you, but she will nevertheless throw herself at any opportunity to spoonfeed you. She just can’t resist it. Some small part of her reptilian brain just kicks in so she sees nothing but the imperative to pamper some manchild she barely knows.

— Afterwards, we see the two of them in a courtyard. I guess the “study” date is over. Not only that, Fahrenfart is sad that the harem lead won’t be able to return to her room in the near future. Why? ‘Cause her sister is coming back to town, and her sister hates men! Well, we’ll see about that…

— Fahrenfart then asks the harem lead to join the Sylphid Knights. Apparently, her group can’t recruit anyone else because people have lost confidence in them. Well, when your captain is busy turning herself into a maid to please the harem lead, I’d lose confidence in your group too.

irish shark

— Taking pity upon the once proud tsunderekko, Kamito accepts her request.

— Kamito later returns to Claire Rouge, and of course, she is also cooking. Yeah, those pots and pans are all necessary to make chocolate. Silly me, I thought all you had to do was melt chocolate chips in a double boiler, add whatever extra ingredient you want, then pour said melted chocolate mixture into a mold. But what do I know?

— The harem lead makes the mistake of telling Claire that Fahrenfart had treated him to a meal at her place. Or maybe it isn’t a mistake at all, because Claire is now super jealous and depressed over the news: “Did you go into her room?!” Like I’ve said, you may as well get hitched if you go into a girl’s room.

— Claire only gets madder when Kamito reveals that he’s also joined the Sylphid Knights. Oh boy!

— Talk about an overreaction: Claire starts to cry uncontrollably as a result of Kamito’s actions. This seems like an abusive relationship, man. You can’t even do anything without the girl getting violent mood swings.

— Reverse the genders. Have the guy rant and rave just because the girl hung out with another guy friend. Have the guy start crying even though he and the girl aren’t even dating! Everyone would tell the girl to get as far away as she can from the abusive asshole. But here, Kamito’s supposed to feel bad that he broke his promise to be Claire’s spirit or some shit.

baka shark

— Oh well, I’m sure the harem lead doesn’t mind, since he gets to wake up to his naked sword loli. Yeah, even though he has to sleep out in some ruins or some shit, girls are always within reach.

— Later that day, Kamito officially joins the Sylphid Knights, but Fahrenfart’s older sister steals his thunder. I think I’ll just call her Oldenfart.

— Remember Silvia’s older sister in Seikoku no Dragonar? Of course you do! Everyone reads these terrible Harem Hill entries! But anyway, Oldenfart is no different from Veronica of Dragonar fame. They’re both older sisters, they’re both abusive to their younger sisters, and they’re both giant bitches to everyone else. Funny how different people can write these stories and end up writing the same exact characters.

— The thing is, the harem lead’s already conquered Oldenfart. He simply did so as Ren Ashbell. Let’s see if he can dominate her again, but this time as a guy.

— We have good animation as always. And naturally, Oldenfart’s first act is to destroy school property all just to see if any of Fahrenfart’s “pawns” are strong. But it’s okay. In bullshit anime like this one, any damage to buildings will magically repair itself by the next episode.

— But despite Oldenfart’s unhinged personality, the other girls in the Sylphid Knights are more than willing to join her team. Hilarious. Not Kamito, of course. He’d never betray the “fire-cat’s team.”

— After that is all said and done, Kamito turns to Fahrenfart and casually says, “We need to get going, too.”

going this way shark

— And apparently, a part of “get going” is battling a floating jellyfish. I guess Kuragehime has been having trouble finding work after her terrible dresses wouldn’t sell.

— But oh man, all this work has made the harem lead pretty damn hungry. Good thing Fahrenfart came prepared with her world famous ‘Fart bento lunches! And no matter the time period, no matter the setting, every bento in anime looks the fucking same. And shit, Kamito is the only person here with a vaguely Japanese name. But it doesn’t matter. The food is still your average bento shit with the weiner octopuses and the rabbit-shaped apple slices.

— Kamito notices Scarlet spying on him, so he chases the cat until he runs into Claire. Oh good, hungry for more abuse, I see. Kamito tries to invite Claire to join him and the Sylphid Knights, but the girl’s too proud to say anything but, “You’re my contracted spirit.” Oh man, how can you listen to this broken record and not want to stab your ears out? Claire cries some fucking more, and any normal person would be like, “Fine, suit yourself.” But the harem lead can’t resist a crying girl! Her tears can only make his dick even harder.

— Elsewhere, Oldenfart’s heart aches as she swears to get her revenge on Ren Ashbell. Can you believe this anime series is about to come to an end soon? And yet, this appears to be our final arc. Good stuff.

— Anyway, if you actually stuck with this post and read it all the way to the end, here’s one last tsundere shark just for you. I-it’s not like I wanted to post another one or anything.

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7 thoughts on “Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance Ep. 10: Biotruths”

  1. I always wondered what the big deal about going into a girl’s room was about. It’s just a room.
    That last shark was intense though.

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