What are we going to do tonight, Brain?
The same thing we do every night, Pinkie!
Fix the amusement park?
What? No! We’re going to take over the world with T&A!
It feels like every week’s an exercise in “How do we get Fiddy to wear practically nothing?” But really, it’s kind of funny how things turned out. I normally am not a fan of slice-of-life anime. I usually find them aimless and meandering. That doesn’t mean all slice-of-life anime are bad. When the characters nevertheless have a goal to work towards, then the story can avoid those pitfalls that I disdain so much. And hey, what do we have here?! Our characters do have a goal to work towards! Kanye, Fiddy, and company need to turn Amagi Brilliant Park into the hottest place in town! So honestly, I don’t think I would mind it at all if this show had been a little more… slice-of-lifey. I think I’d actually enjoy the novelty of watching our characters actually try to fix the park. Unfortunately, this isn’t really that type of show. Instead, it’s just one series of wacky hijinks after the other. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with wacky hijinks, but…
What makes it worse, though, is that there isn’t even anything to get. It’s just slapstick humor. As a result, I end up being a broken record every week. In other words, there’s potential here, but of course, potential is just potential. It ultimately means nothing if it’s not actually realized. Once again, Kanye doesn’t use his magical powers. At this point, I can’t help but wonder why he even received those powers in the first place if he’s not going to ever use them. And of course, we don’t really explore how to make Amagi Brilliant Park a more popular destination for kids and their families. If you take this week’s lesson to heart, you simply have to hope that you get invaded by a bunch of seal pirates. Then after everyone has some fun running around, pretending to do battle with each other, you have to hope that a shark shows up to scare these seal pirates straight. Yeah, that’s the basic gist of the episode.
The underground gate beneath the park breaks, which allows Ironbeard, an elephant seal, and his ship full of scurvy seals to invade the park. They then take everyone hostage with the intention of selling the women and children off. This includes our precious Queen Latifah, who I find boring as hell but everyone in the show coddles the hell out of her. But anyway, that’s it. There’s nothing more to this week’s story than that. We then get a bunch of silly gags which you might or might not laugh at. I think if I had watched this series years ago, i.e. around the time when I still found Full Metal Panic Fumoffu really, really funny, I probably would’ve also really enjoyed Amagi Brilliant Park as well. But that was then and this is now. My tastes have changed. That’s not to say that Amagi Brilliant Park is bad. It’s okay. It isn’t a pain to watch. But it doesn’t make me laugh until my stomach hurts. I mean, I kinda smiled when Moffle was dreaming up his superhero fantasy to save everyone, especially Latifah. But that’s it. All the anime ever gets out of me is a smile.
In the end, Kanye commandeers Ironbeard’s ship, and with his armies of Diggeries, they fight back against the dastardly elephant seal and his crew. Jaws finally proves his worth by scaring the shit out of the seals, and in the end, our Maple Land pirates are forced to admit defeat. To make up for their shenanigans, Kayne makes them work at the amusement park for free for the rest of the summer. With the visitors not realizing that they were actually in danger, this ends up being a win-win for our heroes as the children beg their their parents to make a return trip to the park in the near future. But like most Amagi Brilliant Park episodes, the story here is pretty forgettable. It’s somewhat charming, but that’s it. And now that it’s over, we can instantly move onto the next silly story… I wonder what Fiddy was up to right before the credits rolled. But we’ll worry about this later. Here is a boner joke for the road.