Well, this week’s entry is way overdue, but hey, I didn’t exactly ask to get the flu. Because I’m so far behind, I won’t be as detailed in this week’s Harem Hill entry. Things will return to normal next week barring any catastrophe, but for just today, I’ll be as brief and concise as possible while still letting you guys see what makes these episodes so bad to watch. That being said, let’s now take a gander at the standings:
Grisaia no Kajitsu: 21+5 = 26 points
Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete: 17+3+1 = 21 points
Trinity Seven: 10+4 = 14 points
Madan no Ou to Vanadis: 10+1 = 11 points
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai: 4+2 = 6 points
Grisaia no Kajitsu got a whopping 50% of last week’s votes, so it continues to pull away from the rest of the pack. Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete is within striking distance, but will anyone else catch up? Trinity Seven landed in second place with 22% of the votes, so it leap-frogs Madan no Ou to Vanadis in the standings. I disagreed with you guys, and thought Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete, our third place finisher, was really last week’s worst harem anime episode by far. As such, it gains four total points. For me, it was just too boring to watch. They’re all boring, but I couldn’t even get through Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete’s fifth episode. Everyone seemed to like last week’s Madan no Ou to Vanadis the best, so it only got 5% of the votes. Even so, Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai isn’t going to beat it anytime soon since it never seems to finish any higher than fourth in the polls. Alright, time to get into week six’s episodes….
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai Ep. 5
I think it’s fair to say I have no clue what’s going. But first, let’s get the small stuff out of the way. The Library Club continues to perform small tasks around the school to make it a better place for the other students. Yay…
But they run into trouble when the head library worker gets mad at them for causing crowds of people to come seeking help.
As a result, our heroes have to come up with a better way to organize their clients. This task falls squarely upon Tamamo’s shoulders.
And this leads to some quality bonding time between her and the harem lead. Y’see, the poor girl has been staying late at school to save their invaluable library room. You’d think they could just hold their meetings elsewhere, but no, it’s gotta be this library room.
As for our Song Princess, I guess Senri’s problems are done and over with for now. I hadn’t realized that the Library Club had done anything for her other than taking care of the Song Princess when she was sick.
In other news, Maho continues to try and headhunt the harem lead away from his precious Library Club. He holds her at bay for now by implying that he can almost see her panties. That’s the trick!
But the primary drama of the episode involves Nagi and the Shepherd. Remember how she and Kyotaro are the next in line to become the next Shepherd? No? Yeah, me neither. Hell, I don’t even know what a Shepherd even does. Nevertheless, Kyotaro has already passed the preliminary rounds! Nagi, on the other hand, has not. As a result, she’s incredibly jealous of the fact that the harem lead will likely beat her out for this coveted position that no one knows anything about.
When she goes over to his place one day, he looks into her eyes to see her future.
Somehow, this turns him into a shitty mime.
The next day, he tries to talk to her about the vision he saw, but she runs away from him.
The rest of the girls are naturally afraid of the fact that Kyotaro and Nagi are possibly a thing. Don’t worry, Tsugumi. We all know you’re the designated primary heroine with your cloyingly nice personality.
Later that same day, Kyotaro suddenly decides to barge into Nagi’s apartment. He realizes that she doesn’t actually live there. She also confesses that she’s the one sending him all those emails. Then the actual Shepherd shows up, and he wants to take Kyotaro to said mystical library in the skies… or wherever the fuck it is. And of course, Nagi isn’t the least bit happy about this. Again, I have no idea what’s going on.
The episode was pretty low on fanservice. There are some boob jokes here and there, but nothing to write home about. Now, this sounds like a good thing, but I think the story is complete and utter nonsense. It’ll meander for half an episode, then the other half is just full of cryptic talk.
Grisaia no Kajitsu Ep. 6
Yumiko’s the heir of the Tohim Railway Group. Yuuji is supposedly just some “investigator.” Nevertheless, the girl’s father want our harem lead to help “fix” Yumiko so that she’ll return home and assume some prestigious position within her family’s company. Or, y’know, you could just give that position to someone who’s actually qualified for the job. But no, no… it’s much better to waste a ton of time, money, and effort on fixing your deranged daughter instead. Even if you argue that this is perhaps how things work in Japan, so what? It doesn’t make it any less stupid.
Yuria claims she’s not in the business of counseling, but hey, Yuuji did a pretty good job of that in last week’s episode, didn’t he?! Nothing quite like burying Michiru alive to get the girl to see the error of her ways.
Yumiko’s father comes from the same school of thought, apparently: “I know. I’ll have my people attack Yumiko and give her a taste of fear. If we do that, she’ll do as I say out of sheer terror.” Brilliant! Go with that!
I’m just going to ignore the episode’s attempts at humor. For instance, we cut to the girls playing some sort of board game. Unfortunately, I could not care less about this. Next.
Now that Yuuji’s done with Michiru, he turns his attention to his next prey: Yumiko. Oh wait, he’s supposed to be her bodyguard. After all, corporate assassins are after Yumiko. Why? What’s so special about the girl? Well, it’s because her father’s company will surely fall apart if you kill a girl who has never worked a day in her life!
We know it’s a ruse, of course. Yumiko’s father wants to scare her straight. And likewise, Yuria wants Yuuji to hurt himself trying to protect the rich girl, because this is supposed to fix the girl or something.
Yumiko likes to draw. She also doesn’t like to talk to people. It starts to rain and badass assassins show up. Look how quickly the girl immediately decides to hide behind Yuuji, the same guy she was trying to kill at the start of the season.
He absconds with the girl, and they hide beneath an overpass. A lightning strike causes the girl to jump into Yuuji’s manly arms. Yumiko’s taming protocol has begun, scared yelps and all. Again, this is a far cry from the start of the season.
Yumiko proceeds to pour her heart out to the harem lead. Boy, that was fast. One incident is all it takes, huh?
Long story short, Yumiko feels the guilt of not having been born a son. I don’t have a problem with this storyline, per se. Asian cultures do prioritize sons over daughters, and that’s pretty sad. But like everything else in this series, Yumiko’s story is marred by its pacing (too rushed), its sillier elements (her father sending assassins after her simply to scare her straight), and the need to depend solely upon exposition to tell Yumiko’s dramatic story. She was scrutinized by the public? Shrug, that’s what she tells me, so I guess I’ll just have to believe her. For instance, the public scrutiny is literally represented as nothing more than a sea of eyes surrounding our haremette. That’s really… on the nose, y’know? That’s about as literal of a metaphor as possible. So as you can see (no pun intended), all this manages to do is downplay the emotional impact of Yumiko’s trauma. We don’t feel it, and because we don’t feel it, we can’t connect with her as well as we should. This doesn’t mean you can’t nevertheless relate to the girl and her problems. Rather, the story could have left a greater emotional impact on its audience, but it didn’t. It didn’t, because this adaptation is just half-assed storytelling.
She goes on to reveal that the academy was constructed just to hide her from society. With all that effort and money, he could’ve just trained someone else to take over the company, but whatever.
Still, I expected the girls to be a little crazier than this. These problems seem a little mundane for such a fanciful setup. Oh well.
Unhappy with the latest turn of events, Yumiko’s father wants to make her study abroad. As for the school, it’ll be shut down. Well then.
With just a single phone call, Yumiko gets her father and his contingent of goons to come all the way out to the academy. Yumiko’s friends proceed to defend her and stuff. Aw, they’re all tomodachis…
But when her father’s goons try to grab her, Yumiko pulls out a handgun and fires at them… well, she fires at the ground near them. She might be a box-cutting wielding maniac, but she’s no murderer!
It must be truly shocking to see a young girl to own a gun in Japan, especially if she’s a rich girl from high society like Yumiko. I’m pretty sure you’re only allowed to own firearms for hunting purposes. But for me, again, I’m just unimpressed. I expected more craziness from our haremettes. More surreal behavior. This is kind of dull.
Really? They called out a riot squad for this? I guess having a standoff is the only way Yumiko and her father can have an actual heart-to-heart talk. This is the only way she can get him to listen to her. Hilarious.
When her father tries to approach Yumiko, she even shoots at him. Yumiko inevitably runs out of bullets, however, so she pulls out a hand grenade.
So did she really kill herself? I refuse to believe that would actually happen.
Well, that escalated quickly. I blame Yuuji for this. He didn’t even try to bury anyone alive this week!
This can’t be the real ending, though. After all, this is based on an eroge, so how are you supposed to bang this haremette if she actually blows her pretty face up? As such, it would do her father well to at least DNA test that body. C’mon, man. You’re supposedly filthy rich. You have the means to launch an investigation that would answer these questions.
Man, this dude got played. Yumiko’s father, that is. Despite everything that’s happened, he’s going to keep the academy open anyway.
Oh, what a surprise! The girl’s still alive! Don’t worry, boys! The true end with the h-scene is still alive! I’m amazed that a man that rich won’t even bother to confirm the body’s identity. And yes, Yuria’s people supplied a body for this very purpose. I wonder what poor person had to have their corpse desecrated in such a fashion.
It’s possible that her father knows deep down she’s still alive, but her conviction convinces him to stay away. But then why would Yumiko need to continue laying low and avoid detection? Why would she need to start a new life? So her father must actually think she’s dead. Either way, I think this resolution is stupid.
Are we really done with Yumiko, though? After just one episode? Whatever. No big loss to me.
Overall, there was potential here, but the execution was patently ridiculous. Even if the story hadn’t been rushed, the whole fake body nonsense was absurd.
Madan no Ou to Vanadis Ep. 6
If you’ll recall, Tigre’s expert bear disguise allowed him to discover a shortcut to Ludmila’s formerly-impenetrable castle. He and Elen proceeded to storm the games as the rest of their small attack force tried to stop the ports–… oops, wrong story.
Finally, we get to see Elen and Ludmila finally face off. This is also the first time we get to see two war maidens go after each other.
Predictably enough, their duel is jam-packed with awesome animation. Unfortunately, the battle is cut short when some dude tries to assassinate Ludmila by just jumping headfirst into the arena.
Of course, our harem lead wasn’t going to allow a single hair to be harmed on any of his haremettes. Still, did the assassin have to give off such a goofy face as he fell to the ground. Plus, did Ludmila even need Tigre’s help? I doubt some dinky assassin like this could’ve actually hurt the war maiden.
Amidst all this confusion, Ludmila also realizes that the bear hunter from the previous day was really Tigre all along. Of course, instead of getting too mad, she blushes profusely.
Even though she slaps him for tricking her, she declares her neutrality in the war and no longer wishes to carry out Thenardier’s orders. Yeah, it’s safe to say someone’s already crushing on Tigre.
What then follows is a bunch of boring exposition…
…such as Thenardier sending some Black Knight to crush Tigre and his army.
We also have an exciting discussion over whether or not to use the army’s formal name in the fields of battle.
Tigre’s men also argue over a cloud. Yeah, we’ve just gone full Abe Simpson.
Despite all of this, our harem lead still manages to find the time to meet up with a new haremette. Isn’t that amazing? One girl exits the picture only to be replaced with another one. Yes, that’s right. We don’t see Ludmila again for the rest of the episode. I’ll be surprised if we see her in next week’s episode as well.
And of course, this encounter drives Elen mad with jealousy.
Unfortunately, Sofya, our big-boobed blonde, has bad news for Tigre. He’s been branded a traitor by the King of Brune himself. Our hero won’t give up, though! Soon, his army clashes with the Black Knight’s army. Elen tries to battle our color-deprived foe, but I guess she was holding back?
As a result, she gets knocked off her horse. Still, you think a fight between two of this universe’s greatest warriors would be exciting to watch, but it was kind of awkward to watch them shuffle around on their horses. Not only that, every time the anime cut to Elen, her breasts had to bounce. Do you want a war epic or a shitty harem anime? You can’t have both. In any case, Tigre comes to Elen’s rescue even though I’m not entirely sure she needed his help. Still, thanks to some trickery, he manages to disable the Black Knight’s steed and escape the battlefield with Elen in tow.
The bad guy still dealt a serious blow to our hero, though. Elen is forced to ride off in search of help.
Sofya decides to lend a helping hand… and that about does it for our terribly boring war anime full of ridiculously-sized breasts. Seriously though, how is it that this anime can somehow manage to make war sound so boring and unexciting? And no, I don’t think reading the light novels will help anything. One more parting shot:
Yeah, that’s one of the many war maidens we have not yet had the pleasure to meet. Ugh. That’s why no one can take this show seriously. I don’t care how good the war stuff is. Just look at that girl. Just look at her. Christ.
Trinity Seven Ep. 5
The demon lord already has girls draped all over him.
He then asks the hard-hitting questions.
Yo, they never taught the wizards anything practical in the Harry Potter series, so Arata should thank his lucky stars that his school even cares about his physical well-being. He and his waifus then discuss the finer points of attraction.
That’s right. It’s not enough that Lilith has a slammin’ body. She also needs to be embarrassed about it. You have to exude sex appeal, but you also have to be ashamed of it. That’s how we keep women’s egos in check, after all. We wouldn’t want them to be proud of themselves or anything. And hey, don’t get mad at me for liking this sort of thing. It’s just moe~ Anyway, Akio and Mira show up to threaten Arata’s life some more. Everyone then decides to fight each other because they have nothing to do.
These mages are seven of the strongest individuals in the world, but petty squabbles over Arata rule the day. When Yui joins in, however, they all get sent to her dream world.
But nothing amounts from these hijinks. In the end, Yui simply pledges herself to Arata and nothing more. Yawn.
Afterwards, someone is causing trouble around the school. And yes, by trouble, we’re just talking about some broken windows. But no, there was totally a breakdown phenomenon here too! Anyway, our heroes initially think that these incidents are due to a ghost or something.
I don’t know, I pretty much stopped paying close attention a while ago. Eventually, the final Trinity Seven member shows up. Lieselotte’s basically just a sexed-up version of Selina.
There’s a whole lot of talk about what constitutes taboo magic. At one point, she also preys on her own twin sister.
Long story short, Lieselotte steals something from the Eternal Library, and as a result, she too is a demon lord candidate.
Yeah, uh-huh. I expect Arata to prove his worth in next week’s episode. In any case, it’s a boring episode.
Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete Ep. 6
Will anything finally happen in this goddamn harem anime? Don’t hold your breath.
That’s right, buddy. Yui sees you as a father figure! Therefore, you can’t do anything shady with her–…
Dude, it’s your daughter! C’mon! Have you no shame?! Right on cue, we see Nagisa and Yui strip down to their birthday suits.
Is this finally the fanservice episode? Nah. This is really all you get to see in this week’s episode. As an aside, that’s such an ostentatious-looking bathroom. The very next day, everyone’s discussing their career aspirations. Sou doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. Naturally, he’s the harem lead. Every girl wants to be with a guy with no ambition.
Yui officially joins the club with a fancy badge. Yay…
And the show’s back to exciting developments like picking up photos from the photo developer. I’m positive nothing’s going to happen in this series until the very last episode. Not only that, the big reveal will be a total letdown.
Oh yeah, Nagisa’s from high society.
As such, she has to deal with the fact that her family will try and fix her up with another upstanding rich boy. Oh, the woes of being a rich girl! She can’t say no because the futures of two powerful business groups depend solely upon this marriage! Pfft, ridiculous. No smart businessman would call off a profitable merger just because his son couldn’t marry some girl. This antiquated bullshit nevertheless rears its ugly head in these stories just to throw in some cheap and easy drama… because we don’t really know how rich people live. As such, we’ll simply revisit the same boring tropes over and over again. Oh, do we have a rich girl in the story? Let’s do a subplot involving arranged marriages then! Easy! It’s like Hamburger Helper for anime! But look, it’s not about whether or not arranged marriages still occur in real life. I’m sure they do. It’s about telling an original story. I’ve seen this nonsense a thousand time. I’m tired of it. In any case, even though Sou is boring as hell, he must look like a grand prize compared to an arranged marriage. So we get to watch Nagisa and the harem lead finally spend some quality time alone with each other.
Fascinating stuff. In the end, the two of them reiterate their desire to just have fun and not worry about the future. Yay… On the one hand, your entire school life is nothing but one series of rigorous testing one after the other. This is just how it is in Japan and other Asian countries. Kids attend hours and hours of cram school just to remain competitive. So I can understand the desire to pull back a bit and not take life so seriously. After all, they’re still young. They’re supposed to live it up! Carpe diem! Yo something or other. But on the other hand, the job market is very competitive. And if you don’t graduate from the top schools — if you don’t already have your goals in order — it will be very difficult to get your foot in the door in your later years. So thinking about your future now is not exactly an unreasonable request from the mean, ol’ adults. They’re not always looking to be a bunch of killjoys. Unless the entire society undergoes a dramatic cultural shift, there’s no getting around the fact that an aimless young person who hasn’t done much of anything in his or her recent years won’t impress any of the companies in such difficult economic times. But I digress… Nagisa’s fiance shows up out of nowhere to pick her up and drive her back home. Oh my~
Naturally, Nagisa clings to Sou and pretends as though the two of them are a couple. Somehow, Sou gets roped into taking a car ride along with Nagisa’s fiance. I get it. She doesn’t want to marry this guy. But instead of just being direct about her needs and wants, she decides to pull this sort of passive-aggressive bullshit. Yep, she’s a teenager, alright… Needless to say, Sou’s too much of a wimp to say anything either. Our threesome goes bowling.
Sou recommends a lighter ball, but the fiance suggests that Nagisa uses a heavy one. For some reason, Sou takes offense to this. Yo, the dude isn’t wrong…
Sou loses the bowling match, but tries to prove his worth in a variety of other mundane games. He manages to lose at almost all of them.
How is this guy the harem lead, you ask? Well, I’m sure he’s got that certain je ne sais quoi… In a private conversation, the fiance reveals that he’s not exactly keen about marrying Nagisa either, but he’s just more accepting of his fate. In fact, he lives for his father and their company. How depressing. It’s also hilarious to hear him say, “You’ll understand when you grow up.” How much older can this guy be?
Oh, oh….! There’s that certain je ne sais quoi!
He blows the fiance’s mind by suggesting that Nagisa will never be truly happy if she continues to go down this path in life. Uh-huh. Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but she won’t smile like that if she’s poor either. Just sayin’. Money doesn’t solve everything, but it sure gives you a pretty nice baseline to work off of. He then takes the rich girl aside and convinces her not to be okay with the arranged marriage. But will he take responsibility if her life goes south as a result?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a fan of arranged anything. But I highly doubt our harem lead has a good grasp of Nagisa’s situation, and some nice-sounding platitudes won’t solve anything. Still, his words were enough to lift Nagisa’s spirits.
And that’s good enough for the episode to come to an end, apparently.