Sword Art Online II Ep. 24 (Finale): Let’s do this quick and dirty

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Ughhhh, do I have to? Do I really, really have to? You know what? After two full seasons of Sword Art Online, I think I deserve to pull it back a bit. I think I have written enough words on this accursed series. Hell, I think I’ve written enough to fill a small book! Thank god I have no interest in cover the light novels too! And if you ask my detractors, these posts have apparently gotten generic. Ah well, you can’t win them all. But I need a break. I need to just sit back… and uh… not enjoy the show? Anyway…

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Obligatory party scene, people! Anime loves parties!

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I-Is that Recon? He’s still around? The answer is apparently yes. And all he’s good for is stalking Leafa. Y’know, just in case you guys need some ideas for your doujins. I sure am glad they dragged out this worthless character just for that!

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Oh look, a raid boss! Hey, remember how this is an anime about MMOs? Yeah, me neither.

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‘Cause we all know it’s really a harem. Here’s the one thing Leafa is good for.

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Sinon’s still alive too? After the past few weeks, who would’ve guessed!

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We then see Yuuki kick the Gary Stu’s ass one last time. But c’mon, what is he supposed to do? Lose to a little girl with AIDS? He’s just being nice!

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Speaking of wrapping things up, Asuna’s mom shows up one last time, and it’s just to look disappointed. Does she now regret capitulating to Asuna’s childish demands? I sure would!

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Nevertheless, the girl gets to go on a vacation with her friends–… Whoa whoa whoa! A vacation in… the real world? You mean there are things in the real world that are worth seeing? You mean a dying patient should probably want to experience other things besides a shining high school life? Word?

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But don’t get your hopes up, boys! Here comes the tragedy!

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Run, girl, run! Run to that hospital with all your might! Wait, where have I seen this before?

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It rhymes. Like poetry.

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Uguu, she’s so moe~ The best part is when Asuna’s like, “Yuuki won’t lose, right? Because you’re Zekken! The strongest swordsman!” No, Asuna, no. This is the real world. In other words, she’s gon’die.

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Thanks, doc. I wasn’t quite sure what I should do.

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Asuna suddenly realizes that they should meet each other in ALO once more. Once more… with feeling! But why? What’s so important?!

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Of course! The sword skill! What better way to remember a close friend but by inheriting her sword skill! No, Yuuki doesn’t have anything touching to leave behind like maybe a book that she’s written, a painting that she’s drawn, or whatever. Nah, a sword skill is way more personal than those pieces of junk! And guess what the sword skill is called. That’s right. “Mother’s Rosario.” HEY DATS DA TITLE!!!

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And one by one, people who barely even knew Yuuki stops by to pay their respects. Even the Gary Stu to bless her journey across the River Styx.

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And by people, I really mean everyone.

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But wait, there’s more!

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I’m sorry, but they look like fucking gnats in the sky.

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Look how solemn everyone is, though. C’mon, this is the internet we’re talking about here. Assholes would troll the fuck out of something this pretentious.

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Yuuki and Asuna proceed to share some touching words, but I’m not really paying attention. I’m too busy staring at Asuna’s fucked up head.

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Uh, we’ll throw Yuuki a bone, I guess. She sees her dead sister when she gazes at Asuna. How poignant.

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A funeral online and a funeral offline. We can’t stop! We won’t stop!

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Uh, we end up learning a bit about Miune’s character. Who’s Miune, you wonder? I know, right? Let’s just fast forward a bit…

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…until we hit this major revelation…

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Fuuuuuuuucking hilarious. Let’s never stop sucking Kayaba’s dick. Even in a story about Asuna’s empowerment or Yuuki’s AIDS-ridden body, it nevertheless comes full circle back to that creepy fucker who decided to trap 10,000 poor souls in a video game, including little children. ‘Cause you see, he and Kirito are really just two halves of the same person. Kirito is who a certain someone wants to be. On the other hand, Kayaba is, well, literally who that certain someone really is. Kayaba created Aincrad and trapped 10,000 people in it, right? Isn’t that kind of like a certain someone creating this story, and “trapping” his characters in these hilariously overwrought scenarios? That’s why we can’t condemn Kayaba’s actions. In fact, we’re supposed to, like, respect the guy! He’s a revolutionary! He’s a genius! He created SAO, people!!!!

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Wow, rude! Anyway… I’m officially done with Sword Art Online II. That’s all, folks. Go home. It’s over.


59 Replies to “Sword Art Online II Ep. 24 (Finale): Let’s do this quick and dirty”

  1. So why didn’t you talk about yuuki’s sealed “bubble room” (if you want to call it that) that barred the entrance of virus, germs and bacteria from the outside world to protect her, due to her weak immune system, was now open to everyone? And how Asuna was able to waltz in bringing with her all microbes from the japanese streets further endangering yuuki? And nobody was wearing chemical protective suits? Seriously what kind of fucking hospital is this?

  2. Wow, beautiful ending, so touching, it just encapsulates all that sau has been, we will miss you lil focker fella! but don´t be fret! I´m pretty sure it is going to come back! how can the cow be happily ever after if her tits need to be milked! hahaha, are you going to post if it comes to that?

    By the way, congrats on finishing this stuff, you are made of sturdy stuff, really.

  3. I can’t believe you watched 2 seasons of this crap, I only made it through 8 episodes before I dropped it best decision I ever made.

    1. Yeah, thinking that maybe REAL people she knew would’ve probably been standing next to her in her final moments looking at her zombie-body while she was tearing it up in ALO.

  4. Dropped this shit in episode one.
    My best decision this year.
    Otherwise I might waste my precious 23 X 24 minutes.
    The whole show is so damn pretentious and unreal.
    Even in the real world, I only attend the funeral of a family member.
    Who the hell attend the funeral / departing of somebody you met in mmorpg?

      1. “I’ll be there for you~
        When the rain starts to pour
        I’ll be there for you~
        Like I’ve been there before
        I’ll be there for you~
        ’cause you’re there for me too”

        … (that one time we played together online)

  5. If I told you this is the final harem episode of SAO (not including possible, and probable, OVAs or filler “Hot Spring” fanservice episodes), would you believe me?

    Anyway, goodbye crappy 2nd season! your horrible animation shall soon be erased from my retinas…

      1. I’ll try to reply to this once SAO 3 is out in like, I don’t know… At the current size of the fandom, I wouldn’t be surprised that it already appeared on 2016 winter…

  6. But…but…Kayaba forgot why he did what he did and didn’t try to rape anyone, so that should means something.

    I think this is better than ALO and Calibur arcs, but I do wish the show developed Yuuki and Asuna’s relationship a bit more for me to understand why they loved each other so much. This arc could have been a lot better, but nothing was properly shown. Asuna & her mom had potential for some growth, but Asuna never compromised and got what she wanted in the end.

    The only thing in this episode that bothered me, along with the underdeveloped relationship between Yuuki and Asuna, was that Asuna completely ignored Yuuki’s wish to die in the real world and not be attached to the Medicubold. It wasn’t enough that she couldn’t talk to her mother unless it was in ALO, but she can’t eveb let Yuuki die unless it’s in ALO.

    See you in Season 3?

    1. The only thing in this episode that bothered me, along with the underdeveloped relationship between Yuuki and Asuna, was that Asuna completely ignored Yuuki’s wish to die in the real world and not be attached to the Medicubold.

      I think the idea is that she could read Yuuki’s lips and realize that the girl forgot to give her the sword skill.

      1. I would agree, but it seems like Asuna planned for Yuuki to die there from the very begin. All of those players showing up didn’t happen by accident. Asuna probably told Kirito that Yuuki was dying and to set things up for her…since she can’t really do anything.

  7. So in the long run, the title of the arc ISN’T related to patching things between mother and daughter and finding some growth, but A SWORD ATTACK?!!!
    No hype for the next part will ever wash away the stigmata of suck on this show.
    Worse of all it still has the gall of putting murderers on a pedestal
    I’d buy your book, Mr. Minor

      1. At least end it with a solemn note, but noooo…. Let us ride on Kayaba’s dick on how he is dabes MMO developer and how Kiridouche wants to be him.

        Also, they never use or talk about their Excalibur and Mother’s Rosario in actual canon again (except maybe in that crossover game with all the LN Company characters.). Seriously. Not even a scene involving them utilizing their godmode weapons. So if any continuity involving their Superloot is what you want? Fuck that. They have it. Never use it. Waste of gamer.

        Also…. I still remember that WoW funeral crash. That is probably the most accurate VR funeral ever.

        Man, Asuna’s mom regretting her decision. Damn. I would be disappointed too if I found out that my daughter only wants to be an gamer idoru waifu (that may lead to AV since Japan idol is HARD) instead of…well…. Something. I do not care if the mom married for the money, but man imagine Asuna begging her mom for money that Kirito pisses away for his VRMMO Social Justice tirade.

        I’m out. This arc sucks. This season sucks. SAO sucks. It is also that fun to tear it apart back then but now…. Ugh.

        1. I’m out. This arc sucks. This season sucks. SAO sucks. It is also that fun to tear it apart back then but now…. Ugh.

          You know it’ll be back, too. There’s no way it won’t be back. Whether or not any of us will be here, however, is the big question.

  8. “It rhymes. Like poetry.”
    And we’ve all been vomiting in stanzas, ay mate?

    I cracked the hell up with this. Fast and dirty indeed. haha

    Though I’ll be sad to see SAO go. I know, I know, it’s bad and awful but still we really got to know these characters. We became close, like a family, you know? I’ll miss Asuna’s fucked up animations and Kirito being “totes awesome”. Most of all I’ll miss the evil bastard that started this mess getting respect and admiration for no logical reason.
    Rest in Hell you atrocious prick ;_;7

    No but really, nice send-off. haha This would only be sad if it was the last blog post on MoeSucks, and I’m positive you’re not ailing from a terminal disease. Even if you were I’m sure you’d leave us something better to remember you by than an SAO post.
    Something meaningful, like a sword skill.

    1. I’m positive you’re not ailing from a terminal disease.

      Jokes on you. Exposure to both Mahouka and SAO II has given me cancer.

  9. The more realistic thing an MMO funeral can give is for a huge guild to crash and raid it. Actually the show would have been 40-50 times funnier if they ended it that way.

    That’s right, 4k people died in SAO and no one batted an eye. One Kawaii Loli Thane Krios? ALO CRIES.

    In fact, this is why I always compare Yuuki to a watered down, J-Dorama cliched version of Mass Effect’s Thane Krios (yes, even his 3 incarnation is sorta better): She is the strongest in her field, she has a disease but she is shown strength in the midst of it because she is spiritual and gained friends… but she is just that. Thane had a fucking reason to have his Kepral’s. His work cost him his family and his son’s respect. He was really trying to get his life around before he freaking died. In fact, his spirituality was also in good play.

    If you want another example? Taimi from Guild Wars 2. She is a very smart, smarmy kid who has her own mecha (Asurans.) And she is strong and is her own character despite the disease she gotten that is eating away her muscles and can paralyze her when she grows older.

    The difference between them and Yuuki was that///THEY DIDN’T DIE JUST FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT CONVINIENCE… In Yuuki’s case, she died just to make Waifuna have a bad epiphany, and make Kirito an even more awesome person… Not to mention glorifying Kayaba…

    It just ended up being all about Asuna fighting for her right to be Kirito’s waifu because her OP Lesbian Girlfriend who is dying of AIDS said so. There. Mother’s Rosario in one sentence.


    1. Did Asuna really attain her right to be waifu? Because to me, she’s still a a nobody to get stepped on.
      SAO has shit paper-thin characters confirmed.

      1. That was the joke in the modern-day “Animu Waifu” ideal where these characters are nothing more than paper-thin characters who revolve their lives around their man without question nor doubt. In a way she is an otaku fantasy of being hot while still being a gamer, but removing the human imperfection side of things because that’s not how sales work.

        Thus, “fighting for her right to be a waifu” is really the term I use for such ideals that Asuna is stating in her arc. She didn’t exactly fight for her right to be Kirito’s waifu aside from her just being first girl. She is more fighting to stay where she is in life because the life she got with Kirito was “easier” to her.

        tl;dr: I know, but animu waifus aren’t really characters anyway, so I was more mocking her ambition.

  10. The part where the Kirito loses.. because of time limit. Can’t give the girl too much credit or else little boys would project onto the Gary Stu less. “Don’t worry guys! He only lost on a technicality! He still would have won!”. Funny shit.

  11. I actually don’t think people showing up in an MMO for someone they don’t know is that outlandish. Right now in FFXIV there’s a ton of buzz about some player dying that got posted on Reddit (the thread is even more popular than threads about the expansion), and apparently there’s a vigil on most servers. I know on my server the PF was filled for hours with R.I.P messages for someone who wasn’t even on our data centre.

    1. These players you mention make up a small percentage of the playerbase. Hell, the FFXIV subreddit isn’t exactly huge itself. Meanwhile, SAO makes it seem like swaths and swaths of people flew for a significant time just to pay their respects to Yuuki. You also have to remember that there isn’t fast travel in SAO. It actually takes time to get anywhere. You can’t compare that to party finder messages.

  12. The funniest and most interesting part of this horrible Arc is the Afterword (Yes I have read the books up to this one, I was really bored at the time).
    In it, the author basically admit his flaws but end up saying “I could only write such stories”.
    It’s when I finally realised I shouldn’t expect him to get better.

    1. Speaking of hilariously damning admissions, Kawahara also said that it was HARD for him to write a female character that wouldn’t fall for Kirito.
      Way to shoot yourself in the foot, what a fucking idiot. I’m sure that creating Yuuki was such a tasking endeavor for Kawahara’s mega-brain.

    2. He did get better, because Accel World, for all its flaws, is a far better story than SAO.

      Which makes me wonder, what the hell was so different about AW that Kawahara actually managed to write it decently.

      1. I also think Accel World is much more interesting (while it’s also far from being awesome).
        But he wrote these afterword recently, the book version of SAO started to release almost at the same time/rhythm than AC.
        So yes he got better but he still wrote this.

  13. 1. Mmm, the MMO scenes at the start of the episode were unremarkable and throwaway. That’s pretty much SAO in a nutshell isn’t it?
    We’ve already seen SAO’s version of raiding (super exciting amirite guyzzz). And the party is as fun as watching every other party in another other show. This is supposed to be fantasy-themed party isn’t it? So where are all the barrels of mead and prostitutes? To be fair, most of the latter are already at the party (ba dum tssh).

    2. Oh, hilarious suddenly seeing the other haremettes popping out of nowhere. You girls matter as much as drowned bilge rats.
    But it’s standard SAO-fare by now isn’t it? Lock them up in the harem cage at the start of the arc and then let them loose when we have to be reminded that they still exist? What a meager existence. It’s almost as if they’ve got no weight and personality. At this point, how are they any different from blow-up dolls for doujin use?
    Hint: They’re not tho’.

    3. Wow, Gary Stu got his ass kicked again. But nobody fret, since the universe bends to his will, the Gary Stu Circle of Life already condemned Yuuki to certain death WITH SUPER AIDS.
    “Ha bitch. You think you can pull one over Gary Stu and LIVE? I don’t think so.”
    But isn’t it also convenient for her to die and not matter in upcoming arcs? It’s as if she’d never existed. But don’t worry, we’ll probably do a name-drop or two and do a sepia-filtered flashback if we REALLY feel like it. But probably not, Gary Stu’s busy and all; he needs every second.

    4. Hmmmmm. I have good things going with dudes that like(d) my girlfriend and wanted to get into her panties. Yeah, we are all so tight that we go on trips together and do buddy things. No, Jason, you’re going on the trip too because I’m totally not worried that if you stayed behind you’ll fuck my girlfriend.

    This is an old fucking problem with this fucking show, but it’s the harem slave-cult mentality. “We all love the same guy, so we’ll be friends!”
    No wonder Asuna gets slighted and shit on despite being Main Girl. She gets along with girls who want her Gary Stu? No fuck that: she goes on a vacation with them. What kind of ass-backwards shit is that? And it’s sad because that shit was happening way back in S1 too.
    No, assert dominance, territory and claim. Tell the other girls to go fuck themselves or hair-grabbing will ensue. It doesn’t matter if they’ve “come to the realization that their love will always and forever be unrequited”. If that was the case then they should go fuck off and grab some other dude.
    You want to get cheated on? Because that’s how you get cheated on. Befriending your fucking sexual competition.

    But it’s my fault to assume that these characters had any sort of dimensional aspect to them, much less life-like. It’s like paper pushing against paper.

    5. *yawn* Yuuki’s dying? Whoooaooooa, that revelation is totally blowing my hair back and I’m hanging on for dear life. It’s almost as if we were told from the very start of the arc that she has SUPER AIDS and that there was no cure.
    Well to be honest, I’m kind of surprised that Gary Stu didn’t mix up the SUPER AIDS cure in an episode and saved Yuuki. It would’ve been an e-cure that he made in ALO that he digitally injected in Yuukt’s character and made her better in real life. Ah, missed opportunities. It’s almost as if we don’t care about her.

    6. I don’t think I’ve witnessed a more contrived and pretentious group of scenes than what this episode has the gall to brag about. It’s just bafflingly embarrassing how garbage-tier amateur schlock this is.
    Were there cut scenes where Yuuki saved ALO from an actual catastrophe that would’ve killed everyone that were online at the time? Did she write code to defeat a super-virus that would’ve destroyed the game? Uh, no and no.
    Now, don’t get me wrong, people dying is pretty shit, but there is absolutely no reason or justification WHY random fucking people would organize something this significant for somebody so insignificant. She is literally a nobody for 99.99% of the people there. She did absolutely nothing to receive this kind of send off, other than a shitty raid that matters shit-all.
    Wait, no. She actually kinda knew the main character (Asuna, haha) so that enough of a reason to care I guess. Those main characters though, always giving off plot pixie dust.

    As for the real world funeral? Yeah, I guess. There are family friends and acquaintances, so that’s fine I guess? Pretty much the only thing that I didn’t really scoff at.

    7. Here’s the thing. I want a yaoi-doujin of Gary Stu giving Kayaba a super hardcore blowjob. It’s got snot, slobber and gag-tears all over. And that’s it; it should pretty much be an official product approved and funded by A1 Pictures and Kawahara.

    Kayaba: No, stop it. Kirito-kun, it feels so good. If this goes on any longer… I’ll burst!
    Kirito: Hmm-mmng. Mmng-hmng. Mmmmmmng.
    Kayabe: Here it comes! A whole three years’ worth of my man-syrup!
    Kirito: MMNNHG. MHHNMNMMMGG!!!!~~

    /end scene

    I don’t usually say this but: kill yourself SAO. Well, until the next season comes, I still need more stuff to laugh at.

  14. >That’s all, folks. Go home. It’s over.

    Implying there won’t be a third season. Or a spin off. Or a movie. Or a prequel. Or all the above.

    1. If SnK can get a live-action movie, then anything’s possible I guess.

      If it really has to be a spin-off, I want Klein’s adventures. Non-bitch Klein. The pizza episode should be good.

  15. Hi there. This is my first time posting on your blog. Your posts are interesting to read.

    Anyway, these were my thoughts on Yuuki’s online funeral. Asuna being there was obvious, of course.
    Appearance of the Sleeping Knight members: It’s alright since they are fellow guild members.
    Appearance of Kirito’s group: Uh…I guess they could be there since Yuuki’s a friend of Asuna’s.
    Appearance of the entirety of ALO players (apparently): OH, COME ON!!! This a bit overblown, don’t you think?

    Of course Kayaba had a hand in creating life-saving technology. I swear, this series goes out of its way to make Kirito and Kayaba the centre of everything. Speaking of Kirito, him losing to Yuuki via time-out was just irritating. Can’t have him falling in battle, can we?

    In any case, this season of SAO was average to me.

  16. Apparently it’s Asuna’s chosen calling to share her life with Kirito, but judging by everything he’s done so far Kirito doesn’t seem too interested in sharing things with her. Not exclusively, anyway.

  17. Enjoy your respite while you still can. You’ve earned it.

    And it’s precisely because you’ve earned it that I’ve come from the Web to warn you about the next arc.

    This whole arc with Asuna and Zekken was a clumsy prelude to SAO’s next, final, and by far longest arc, Project Alicization. If you think the whole reality/VR distinction was managed in a ham-fisted manner in SAO II, then the inevitable SAO III will make you weep tears of blood. There’s also the matter of length as well: As I said in the blog of another guy who loathed SAO, each of the previous major arcs (Aincrad, Alfheim, Gun Gale) took up two books, while Project Alicization is on its seventh book and still going strong.

    Have a nice day.

    1. So, 4 cours, AT LEAST?! Or 2 cours of 24 episodes each?!

      Geez, i wonder if E-Minor sanity will survive this, specially because I heard SAO at this point will be going full mahouka in boring autistic terminologies to explain in-universe shit that nobody cares….

      ps: I don’t see what’s so great in Accel World, guys. Just bit less amateur written than SAO, but that’s not a real achievement if you have good standards. Also, Sunrise is not lazy like A1-Pictures, so the producion values were kind of okay, and…just that.

  18. Sighs

    Sets up cricket chair, raincoat and water bottle

    Plants tiny little flag labeled ‘asuyuuki’ in the ground

    …don’t talk to me, I know it’s shit, just let me sit here until I get bored and move on. Begrudge me not my kilobyte of digital soil.

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