Fall 2014 Harem Hill, Week 13: How to put together a great ending

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Watch as four different anime series simultaneously fail at the same task!


Current Standings

Grisaia no Kajitsu: 52+5 = 57 points
Trinity Seven: 47+4+1 = 52 points
Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete: 40+2 = 42 points
Madan no Ou to Vanadis: 20+3 = 23 points
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai: 15+1 = 16 points


Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai Ep. 12

Quick Thoughts:

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— Can you say cop-out? ‘Cause this episode is a major cop-out.

— Minafes kicks off without a hitch, and everyone’s having a ton of fun! Awesome!

— But of course, Kyotaro has more important things on his mind, i.e. saving Tsugumi’s life. It turns out Aoi is behind it all. Uh, I think we’re flirting with attempted murder here…

— Thankfully, our Shepherds are here for the rescue. Kyotaro initially scares the girl off, then Nagi chokes Aoi out with her giant boobs. See? Who says lumps of fats aren’t useful?

— Unfortunately, Tsugumi happens to walk by anyway, and this forces Kyotaro’s hand. He magically transports himself, Nagi, Aoi, and the falling metal beam to the symposium.

— Aoi starts going off about how she just wanted to create a special school, and in order to do so, she needed to eliminate all the students with no talent. So it’s kind of like eugenics-lite or something. What she doesn’t realize, however, is that she’s now spilling her guts to Maho and the rest of the symposium. Whoops. But hey, I bet you she’ll get nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Attempted murder? An attitude ill-befitting of such a fine institution? Well, I hope you’ll sit in your corner and reflect, Missy!

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— Unfortunately for Kyotaro, he isn’t supposed to reveal to the entire world that he’s a Shepherd. As a result, Nanai informs our harem lead that he’s no longer qualified to be a Shepherd. Oh, Nagi can become one now… but not Kyotaro. Not only that, because Kyotaro’s book has already been burnt, he’ll just, uh, fade out from existence or something.

— Cue long, boring speech from Tsugumi, who is now sorry that she doubted the harem lead’s intentions.

— See? Just a slap on the wrist!

— Cue long, boring singing performance from Senri.

— Backstage, Tsugumi embraces Kyotaro and promises that she’ll never forget him no matter what. Elsewhere, Nanai suddenly conjures up Kyotaro’s book. No consequences! Nothing has any goddamn consequences in this world!

— The story ends with Aoi apologizing to everybody. Yep, attempting to drive the less-talented students away — as well as outright trying to kill one of them — is no big deal! Just say you’re sorry and we’re good!

— Kyotaro makes his way back to the apartment to find that…

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…gasp! Nagi is here! Yeah, she’s still a Shepherd, but she’s a Shepherd for the school? And this means she can interact with everyone, and they won’t forget her? Man, what was even the point of the whole “Everyone will forget you!” nonsense if we’re just going to wuss out and go with such a lame, “Everything is A-OK!” ending?

— Oh well. No one will remember this show in a month anyway.

The Hareming:

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Not much fanservice again. Not much fanservice for this show in general. It’s not even good at that. Anyways, here’s some supplementary material from the OVA:

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I wouldn’t bother downloading it if you’re curious. It’s barely even animated.


Grisaia no Kajitsu Ep. 13

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— First things first, Amane tearfully reads a letter from Kazuki. It was just a disease, folks. A disease made everyone go mad.

— The letter also asks Amane to look after Yuuji. Yep, Yuuji definitely needs looking after, and if anyone’s going to do it, it’s definitely Amane. After all, she’s good at

— The letter, however, doesn’t give them any indication as to whether or not Kazuki survived the ordeal. But I bet she did.

— That’s when the bad guy strikes! The shady guy from last week is really one of the dead girls’ fathers, and he’s decided to take the rest of Mihama Academy hostage. ‘Cause this is… uh, payback? ‘Cause he honestly thinks Amane is at fault somehow? I mean, sure, it’s possible that he could blame a little girl for everything, but it just feels so contrived. Couldn’t they come up with a better way to wrap up this story other than the same, trite “Everyone unfairly blames the haremette!” narrative? Not only that, there’s nothing to really discuss here. He’s just all, “Can’t you understand how I feel?!” Great complexity, buddy.

— This also doesn’t really thematically add much to Amane’s story. Her friends try to stand up for her, so I guess she should just get over the past and stop blaming herself or something. Whoopee.

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— But hey, this hostage situation does give us a great excuse to make one of the haremettes piss themselves! Can’t forget that! After all, this is the same show where a little girl had flashed her panties at the audience just as a bunch of cannibals were about to attack her. Piss is nothing.

— Blah blah blah, he buys into the narrative that Amane had sacrificed the other girls in order to survive. Sorry, but I don’t buy it. That’s just weak.

— So they send Amane in, hoping to get the creepy guy to drink water and thus use the bathroom. When he does so, the harem lead will snipe the guy from 900 meters away or something. I guess that’s supposed to be an impressive number, but I really don’t care.

— Oh good, why don’t we just make him a sexual molester while we’re at it. He then drags Amane away, intending to rape her. That’s right. A bereaved father turns into a rapist at a drop of the hat.

— But it’s okay. Yuuji gets the job done, and he manages to save everyone.

— Elsewhere, a guy aims a rocket launcher at the Japanese Coast Guard while his accomplice chews tobacco.

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Oh boy. I guess we’re going to have a sequel on our hands.

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T-two sequels? Ah, whatever. This was such a lazy ending. But then again, the previous arcs have all been lazy in execution. What gets me is how Sakashita’s involvement just feels so tacked on. It doesn’t develop anything. It just gives Yuuji an opportunity to save his girls again, and nothing more.

Like with Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai, here’s some supplementary material from the OVA included on the first blu-ray or whatever:

Grisaia no Kajitsu - 1309 Grisaia no Kajitsu - 1310 Grisaia no Kajitsu - 1311

No, this are not okay.


Madan no Ou to Vanadis Ep. 13

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— Tigre’s still sad about Bertrand’s death, so it’s up to the main haremette to give him a pep talk.

— The pep talk somehow involves telling Tigre and thus us all about Elen’s past as a mercenary. She and Limlisha had great mercenary outfits, too. Very protective.

— Thanks to Elen’s words, Tigre remembers that he has mettle. Y…yay?

— Elen also reveals that she wants to maintain a trade route with Alsace. We suddenly get this dramatic moment with arrows swooping every which way. Trade routes are serious business, boys.

— The next day, Pierre Badouin drops by and asks Tigre what he’s really after. He’s after nothing, man. He just wants Alsace’s safety. Yawn…

— The prime minister then tells Regina that she should hurry back to see her father, ’cause the king ain’t long for this world. I guess this means the final boss fight is coming up.

— Look at dem CGI horses.

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— Even Regina finds it necessary to put on some ridiculous, cleavage-bearing breastplate. I guess she just wants to inspire the troops.

— It turns out Thenardier isn’t even trying. He should be commanding his troops, but he isn’t. He instead opts to cut Tigre off in order for them to settle their differences mano y mano. After three months, the conflict boils down to a simple grudge match.

— Before the duel can begin, however, Elen prevents Tigre from giving in to his hatred or something. Blah blah blah, hate is bad. Therefore, if you’re going to spill a man’s blood, you should do it from the goodness of your own heart! With that, Tigre can face Thenardier the “right” way.

— Naturally, Thenardier is decked from head to toe in armor. He’s just missing protection in that crucial area called, y’know, the head. Can you guess how Tigre defeats Thenardier, then? Yep, he does so with an arrow right to the bad guy’s head. The story wants to make us think that Tigre’s exceptional skill allowed him to shoot an arrow past the villain’s defenses, but meh.

— And just like that, the civil war is over:

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I’m sorry, but what is up with these stories? That was supposed to be the climax of the entire series? You just ride your horse up to the guy and shoot him in the head? Tigre didn’t even break a sweat. Hell, he took more punishment from his own ally (i.e. Elen’s punch). It’s like these writers just gave up near the end. Oh man, I’m tired of writing! Let’s just shoot the fool in the head and call it a day!

— What thus follows is just a bunch of boring talk. Mm, yay, provisions. Let’s hammer it out, boys…

— And before he dies, the king bestows upon Tigre a very prestigious title: Knight of the Moonlight. This means he’s destined to become Brune’s next king or something. Uh-huh. But the story’s over, so we can stop caring. Yay!

— Closure next? Not really. Our heroes merely go back to Zhcted since Alsace is now under Elen’s control. There’s obviously more story to tell, but whether or not Madan no Ou to Vanadis gets another anime adaptation is a whole ‘nother issue. I don’t see it being popular enough to warrant another series, so until I hear a surprising announcement in the near future, I’m just going to assume that the book on Tigrevurmud Vorn has been closed for good.


Trinity Seven Ep. 12

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— Is everyone in the room? Yes? Oh good, we can finally get started.

— The episode wastes probably two whole minutes alone on just the characters executing their themas.

— What are the adults doing? Just watching.

— There’s what? Ten people in one room? And they all decide to fight there and then?

— Of course, when I say “fight,” I really mean “talk it out even though this is the very last second.”

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— Good lord, the talking just…

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…won’t…

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…stop.

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— Most bad guys scream with despair when they’re about to be defeated. Hijiri just stands there and, well, talks:

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— And since Hijiri’s now been defeated, that just gives her even more reasons to talk!

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Fuck it. No, seriously, fuck it. Four finale episodes, four cop-out episodes. I’m done, man. There’s nothing to even mock here. These stupid characters are just going to sit there and talk. So why bother? I don’t even care what Hijiri is up to. I don’t care what Arata intends to do with the rest of his life.

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In fact, I scanned through the rest of the episode real quick, and it’s just one huge denouement. So I’m going to cop-out, too! Again, I’m done!


Anyway, it wouldn’t really make sense to do another poll… after all, what am I going to do? Make another post in a week just to reveal the results? Nah. I’ll just rank the final episodes by myself. So after three months and 62 excruciating episodes, we can finally put this contest to rest…

Final Standings

Grisaia no Kajitsu: 57+3 = 60 points
Trinity Seven: 52+5 = 57 points
Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete: 42 points
Madan no Ou to Vanadis: 23+2 = 25 points
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai: 16+3 = 19 points

For me, Trinity Seven is easily the worst harem of the season. Alas, it could never catch up to Grisaia no Kajitsu. How could it? The latter had one extra episode to be shitty. Trinity Seven might have averaged a higher level of badness per week, but there’s something to be said about lasting an extra week longer. Grisaia no Kajitsu managed that, and as a result, it is our winner. Congrats, Yuuji! You have triumphed over a demon lord, a commander, and a Commander Shepherd.

king of shit harem fall 2014

You truly are the King of Shit Harem.

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12 thoughts on “Fall 2014 Harem Hill, Week 13: How to put together a great ending”

  1. My feelings are mixed. I am sad that there would be no more hilarity to expect from Trinity Seven and its ilk, but I am also happy that you would no longer have to suffer this trite, at least, for now.

    Do people actually think Grisaia is “deep” and “compelling”? It pains me to see such abuse of gratuitous French and the wide-screen format… The nonsensical nature of the week’s bad guy was the result of a narration that took no time to move away from its vapid “main characters” and solidly establish other forces in the series’ narrative (until now, at least). And would you look at that, more raep tiem. I know that SAO just ended, but really?

    I really have no interesting comment on the Library story other than that cat is finally the best thing about the show again, if only for one scene.

    Endings used to mean something to a television-oriented medium. I suppose the format usually chosen by anime series these days allow for less satisfying build-up over such a low episode count. Then there’s the need to leave the setting open for potential sequels…

    Even then, I really hate Grisaia. It deserved to win.
    All in all, another good day’s work, mein freund.

  2. Seconded that. People.
    Why didn’t trinity seven win?
    Pfffft.
    It’s the most shitty harem anime I have seen in a while.
    Other than standard, out of textbook protagonist and harem members, the background, the thin plot, the fight scenes are all shit.

  3. I thought the one with the robot chick was easily the worst. I mean, at least the other series had some semblance of potential or some ideas that could’ve been cool. I didn’t even remember what the one with the robot was supposed to be about. I guess it comes down to whether you think it’s worse to be completely unmemorable or so gloriously bad that it’s hilarious.

  4. Congrats Yuuji, you’re the king of the final season of Harem Hill, rejoice!
    I think it was well deserved, after watching Grisaia’s final episode I could say it was undoubtedly the worst, not only its finale was bad but its twisted animation almost made me puke, they made me see a decayed corpse wearing lingerie and a pedophile having a fully animated erection just like that, oh god my eyes are melting…
    Trinity Seven is so mediocre that doesn’t even deserve a shit crown.

  5. I watched three out of the five shows in this section (Trinity Seven, Shepard,Lost Future) and it was nice seeing your thoughts on them (and the other two, but I skimmed past them, mostly). I agree that with Trinity Seven, there was too much talking during fights. It was like a battle of words rather than skills(if there were any).

    I may not post here frequently, but all the best for 2015.

  6. I was just rereading this and this time I have to comment.
    Really? Just an arrow in the face? It would have been cool if the guy had a great helm that left Tigger just enough room to slip an arrow in and catch his eye or something but nah fuck it just shoot him in the face.

    Hahaha I know there were better choices, but I’m happy the show with the worst abuse of mental issues got the crown. It’s not even like it really offended me personally. Not much. I just dig this outcome
    Though maybe that’s more to do with the MS Paint picture you put on there. hahaha!

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