First things first, I don’t really care what the guy’s name is. Since I started out by calling him Thor, I’m just going to stick with that. If this was actually a show worth caring about, I’d try to get his name right. But it’s not so that’s that.
— Anyway, when we last left off, Thor was highly uncomfortable about the fact that he would have to room with Julie. Well, right from the very start of this week’s episode, our hero is dismayed to find that his Duo partner has sneaked into his bed yet again. But of course, sharing a bed with a pretty girl is the last thing that any teenage boy would want.
— I’ve mentioned this before, but most shows can at least get the food right. Hell, even the bad shows can get the food right. Absolute Duo, on the other hand, is not one of those shows. Blech.
— It’s time to introduce some more characters, so our Duo shares a meal with another Duo. For some reason, Tomoe can’t help but comment on the fact that the hero eats nothing but meat. I guess that’s her schtick or something. Honestly, there’s nothing appealing whatsoever about a complete stranger walking up to you, then criticizing your diet. But this is a harem anime, so I guess the harem lead needs someone to mother him.
— The anime does this thing where if any of the female characters so much as move even a finger, their breasts will quiver. And of course, the anime always has to let you know about each and every single quiver. That’s just good storytelling.
— The other girl’s schtick is even worse than Tomoe’s schtick. So far, she’s only known for the fact that she’s cripplingly shy, and that she has giant breasts. Characterization!
— Anyway, Tomoe would like to discuss the fact that a boy and a girl are sharing a room with each other. This is not a particularly hard topic to talk about, but that’s because we’re in the real world and shit. In anime world, the girls can barely choke the words out. And just look at Thor. He’s actually deeply ashamed or something. Out of all of the anime that we’ve seen this season, he has to be the most pathetic lead yet.
— Eventually, Julie unknowingly implies that she and the harem lead are having sex, so Tomoe now thinks that Thor is a pervert. Well, that’s just par for the course.
— Back in class, the Playboy bunny disguised as a teacher is really just infodumping on us about how the magic in this universe works, but the show tries to dress it up as something really silly and wacky. How? With moments like these. Unfortunately, this scene still ends up being incredibly boring. We also learn that Julie is bad at writing Japanese, and… no, it’s still incredibly boring.
— Later, we’re in a P.E. class, I guess, and Tomoe has finally heard from Julie that she has it all wrong: Thor would faint if he ever had sex. Nevertheless, Tomoe feels the need to prostrate embarrasingly:
Maybe she’s been watching Cross Ange, and she decided to take some points from Tusk. Not to be outdone, Thor has some tricks of his own:
But of course, he thinks that this is totally inappropriate.
— Later, Thor and his buddy Tora watches as Julie and Tomoe do a bit of sparring. Apparently, both girls can fight. Thor then proudly announces his intention to duo it up with Tora. Just look at the excitement on the hero’s face. He’s just dying to get with a dude.
— Later that night, Julie sneaks into Thor’s bed again, then cries out for her papa. Yeesh. Plus, do these people not get cold or something? Where are all the damn blankets?
— Somehow, we get a montage even though it’s just the second episode. We also see that nobody really likes Julie. Oh man, I really feel for her. Nevertheless, Thor is confident that she’ll Duo it up with Tomoe, so he’s free to buddy it up with Tora. He somehow doesn’t notice that Tora seems a bit apprehensive about a potential partnership between the two of them.
— On the day that you’re supposed to announce or sign up your Duo, however, Thor learns that Tomoe will naturally Duo with her best friend, i.e. the girl known only for her big boobs. Oh no! What about Julie!
— He goes looking for her, but he can’t find her somewhere. All of a sudden, he hears a bell ring… from up there?! Are you serious? Do you have the hearing of a bat or something?
— Long story short, Thor and Julie form a partnership yet again, and the moment is full of corny shit that I don’t want to recap. And later, they sleep in the same bed yet again ’cause why not.
— Outside, we see the Playboy Bunny be all sinister and shit. Aaaaand end episode. Exciting developments, boys. Very exciting.