Shinmai Maou no Testament Ep. 5: Plot all over my face

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I’d say 75% of every episode desperately wants to be a porno. The other 25%? Pure and delicious plot.

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Yeah, the show’s got a lot of plot.

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Maria takes umbrage at Basara for smacking her on the head, but she basically just sexually assaulted him. But it’s okay, because she’s a cute anime babe, right? Of course.

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But the plot is just too juicy, so you’re going to have to pay extra and buy the blu-rays if you want the full story. But you might be wondering, “Why did Basara just walk in on his ‘imouto?'” Well, hear it from the guy himself:

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I like that smirk on his face. Uh-huh. I believe you, dude. Y’know, in my house, if the bathroom door is closed, you knock anyway just to be safe. But hey, what do I know? Also, if you’re using the bathroom, you typically lock it. But obviously, if we did that, then something like this would never happen:

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What’s that, Basara? You don’t like it when someone enters the bathroom while you’re using it and impose themselves on you? Gosh… Anyway, the faux porno finally decides to take a break in order to let the story develop (heh). And it basically comes in the form of an exposition dump as Basara and his still-best-friend discuss important matters in the middle of a busy restaurant.

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Smart guys. What’s important? First things first, the bad guys will send more baddies as reinforcements. ‘Cause y’know, the still-best-friend is such a fuck-up. He can’t even properly disguise himself.

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Supposedly, Basara’s dad was a badass. He’s so badass. he can’t even raise his own son.

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Supposedly, having sex with someone will make you stronger. You too can go SSJ if you would just fuck more. Is that what we’re telling Japanese youths now to combat the declining birth rate? But man, that was a good exposition dump, so here, have some more plot.

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This plot leaves Basara shocked and awed:

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Good ol’ school nurse tells Basara to look deep inside himself, and figure out who or what it is that he truly wants to protect. So, uh, what would change? Seriously, nothing would change. He wants to protect Mio now, and he still wants to protect her after reflection. Great sage advice there, sensei. Just stick to your plot, alright?

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Later, those enemy reinforcements arrive.

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And not to mention, some plot as well. Her name is Zest, by the way. You should at least know the woman’s name. Gawsh, she’s not an object.

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Afterwards, Maria wants Basara to become stronger, so she trains him the only way anime knows how. Trust me, you can learn everything there is to know about women from eroges:

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Elsewhere, a meth’d out Scooby Doo tries to attack some innocent woman:

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Someone didn’t get enough Scooby Snackums.

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Luckily, this Fate/stay night reject stepped in to save her.

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He and two others are from the Hero Tribe, and they’re also here to kill Mio.

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For some reason, we see some poorly-drawn badasses attempt to confront Basara. Confront Basara over what? Over Mio, of course. They’re such badasses, the number one thing on their minds is whether or not Mio has hugged him. Right. Sounds more like otaku logic to me. My waifu has had sex before? I’m going to burn every fucking manga about her that I ever owned! Nevertheless, Yuki alerted an adult, so fight doesn’t break out.

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She then asks Basara out. The episode ends on that note as those Hero Tribe stooges ready themselves for their mission. Good episode. Lots of plot.

9 thoughts on “Shinmai Maou no Testament Ep. 5: Plot all over my face

  1. Jennifer

    You do realize that the MC porks almost every good girl in the novel? As such this anime main fault is the fact that it’s censored and wont contain any of the relevant plot points. This is because an integral part of the plot in the novel is sex. The only way this anime could be good is if a studio like MILKY or another hentai studio produced this.

  2. IonCaron (@IonCaron)

    Oh just Rene Descartes that shit and get it over with! Honestly, now.

    And haha:
    “all women are submissive at heart”
    But what about the ones that aren’t? Are we talking personality-wise or in the bedroom? Many are with regards to the bedroom but that doesn’t make them submissive outside of it. And speaking of, what if they’re into taking the lead or even domination-play?

    Oh right, I forgot that in most anime girls with any kind of assertive trait that isn’t a hollow mask for their dere side are scary things destined only to become Christmas cakes.

    Better act shy and blush like crazy, girlies! Otherwise you’re practically a slut and no one wants you.
    What do you mean you’re a virgin? No no, you have genuine self-respect and don’t talk like a pinched hamster so clearly you’ve been around the block, and that’s just awful. I mean, seriously, how many times have you had sex before? Like, two? You must be all loose and stretched and useless now. Get out, fujoshit.
    etc. etc.

  3. spectreandy

    Oh, Jesus Christ. The fantasy elements of this show are so incredibly cringe-inducing. Half of it is because it just looks boring and generic as hell. How is it not just stylistically identical to every other JRPG take on “Western Fantasy”? Granted, it’s the slut-version of JRPG fashion.
    Western Fantasy in MY Nippon? Get the fuck out. I want all my miko maidens, oni and katanas until this shit bursts.

    I think we’ve all let out our disapproval of the dead-horse story of the Demon King, but throwing in “action” just for the sake of it isn’t any less dumber than it can get. Yeah, yeah. Swing your shitty fantasy weapons and do the same shit literally dozens of shows have done before.
    Hmm… it’s almost as if this artificial sense of urgency and “danger” is simply put into this story because the writer’s incapable of adding anything of substance in this low-concept story. As if the cat-fighting between all the girls for the harem lead’s dick isn’t enough to fill a cour.

    Like really, you want to shove succubi and other supernatural shit for libido-tingling bullshit, then just do that. Don’t throw fantasy war drama in just for the fuck of it. This shit is as basic as it can get, so why not save us all the trouble of having to snore our way through “action” scenes and just set up endless shenanigans of supernatural versions of tits and ass?
    Basically what I’m saying is this: copy To-Love-Ru. Yeah, it’s got your girls from your standard fare of Castlevania-chicks. And sex them up, which I think this show does fine (like how can you fuck that up). And leave it at that so I can basically mock it in its trimmed state.
    But, nah. I’m waiting for expertly choreographed action scenes filled with inspired monster designs and strategy.

    Yeah, Basara. You basically win the “Kinda Interesting Harem Lead” award this season because you’ve got scars all over the fuckin’ place. That is literally your only defining feature to the other harem lead smooth-face beta males. Now get the fuck out, you are basically stepped-on horse shit compared to Scar-Boys like Kenshin and Sousuke.

    At least this show has my favorite pet peeve. Chicks with shitty bright colored hair to color code themselves. Yeah, because muh Japan is boringly homogenized with chicks with dark brown hair.


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