Absolute Duo Ep. 8: Another deep beach episode

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We all know why you guys are here. After all, this is the episode where Absolute Duo lets it all hang loose. Well, I aim to oblige. Feast your eyes on these lurid screenshots!

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Ugh, this anime is so dumb!

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There’s hardly even any plot this episode!

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Just “plot,” if you know what I mean.

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Julie’s well on her way to becoming a chef at Benihana.

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Thor trying to sound smart.

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MELONS. THIS EPISODE IS FULL OF MELONS.

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KARE.

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But Thor could not at once recall what he had been going to say. These fits of jealousy, which of late had been more and more frequent with her, horrified him, and however much he tried to disguise the fact, made him feel cold to her, although he knew the cause of her jealousy was her love for him.

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What is the meaning of life? That was all. A simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one.

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To want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have — to want and want — how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again!

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In that brief glance Thor had time to notice the restrained animation that played over Miyabi’s face and fluttered between her shining eyes and the barely noticeable smile that curved her red lips. It was as if a surplus of something so overflowed her being that it expressed itself beyond her will, now in the brightness of her glance, now in her smile.

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Miyabi steels herself and confesses, “Now, I’m not going to deny that I was aware of your beauty. But the point is, this has nothing to do with your beauty. As I got to know you, I began to realise that beauty was the least of your qualities. I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me. And it’s not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you. Tell me what to do. Show me how to behave. I’ll do anything you say.”

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Hehehehehe, Master Chief is here to fuck some shit up.

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Let’s do this, boys!

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35 thoughts on “Absolute Duo Ep. 8: Another deep beach episode”

  1. You doing okay there, E Minor? Just checking, ‘cuz you missed a ton of stuff like Testament and Cross Ange over the past two weeks and they’re the posts I look forward to the most in this season.
    I’m just assuming that a few other shows were already dropped like that one with the ‘D’ jokes and the protag with the name ‘Moron’ or something, but perhaps you’re gearing them up into a new Harem Hill?
    In any case, I’m looking forward to the next posts you write. They are a source of comedy that brightens up an otherwise terrible anime season.

  2. Just to expand on my previous statement (3:16am):

    That tonal shift into utterly searing sarcasm in second half doe. I’m seeing a whole ‘nother side of you right now and I think I like it. I am as scared as I am amused. I don’t know if I’m laughing because I’m scared or if it’s due to the fact that it’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. And taken out of the context of being about a terrible show, it’s actually kind of amazing as a standalone piece of prose. You could actually make a good story out of that rant!

    I can relate quite a lot to the sentiment of this one. This, folks, is what happens when you overdose on bad anime.

    While it is glorious, I do fear for your health.

  3. Even though it was a beach episode, it was well done. A lot has happened and Miyabi finally confessed. Too bad Tooru rejected her, but we all know Julie will win in the end. I’m excited for the battles next week. Definitely best anime so far.

  4. That was beautiful. I ran to go watch the episode after reading this I don’t know what I was expecting. The confession surprised me though and then I read this again and understood it more, I even forgot who Miyabi was.

    “In that brief glance Thor had time to notice the restrained animation that played over Miyabi’s………” everything from that point on was just amazing. If you’re ever in the mood again it would be great to see more of this stuff. I usually prefer to take in stories visually but I had almost forgotten how beautiful the words in books could be too. The last book I read (TFIOS) sucked.

  5. HAHAha! E Minor, mate, you rock. Very nicely done. Cracked me up like crazy. I wish more romance novellas ended with Master Chiefs plummeting down to massacre the mood.

    Best part was the idea that this show could even muster an ounce of that dialogue for a confession scene. Man, I hope it isn’t the case that there’s a genuinely decent writer trapped in the Harem Machine churning this kind of garbage out.
    _Think about it. Just some poor writer on the team who, every time he tries to inject some life into this tripe, is forced to insert the term “baka”. He attempts to explain the beauty he wants to convey, the characters he desperately wants to develop beyond hollow tropes into truly human people who feel and grow, but his passion confuses and scares his colleagues, whose frail lanterns had dimmed long ago. His masters, the owners of the machine, swing low some sledgehammers into his pristine dreams before they could clog any gears, and so they shatter to the ground in glimmering shards, each piece reflecting his tired face and the ever-turning machinery working all around him.Thus he slumps back into his chair, defeated yet again by the world he once naively thought he could better, and types the words, “I-It’s not like I like you or anything…baka.”
    _With each maiming of this lonely artist’s work to fit “standards”, a piece of their soul crumbles inward. It’s only a matter of time before his masters find a pillar of ash where he once sat, a pile of seared hope they’ll promptly brush away to welcome the next newcomer into the immortal Harem Machine.

    Or maybe they’re all hacks and enjoy the easy money. Could go either way.

    Seems you’re not half bad with the quill either, mate. haha
    Where’d you get some of that stuff from?

  6. If you made it up yourself then I’d like so see you write a short story. No, seriously, I’d absolutely love to see what kind of talent you have outside of insightful/snarky reviews.
    Seriously think about it. It’d be great!

  7. Please someone tell me why MC’s in harem anime are mislabeled has Harem. Even though the MC is scared of touching the skin of a woman who moves into his house. Please answer my question I love anime but I think because I am not a loser who never could get a girlfriend I am a anomaly in the anime world. Why the hell do guys who have women throw themselves at them in japan do nothing about it. Even though they will risk their life to save the world they are incompetent around women. It makes me angry that the land of the samurai is full of such weak beta males my european ancestors where wrong to ally with the Japanese if they are such sissy men.

  8. It also angers me that people who I respect on this site for writing funny comments. Refuse to answer my questions on why Japanese men are so weak and cowardly how on earth are these people descended from samurai’s when they are to afraid to kiss a girl.

  9. Why do anime shows label themselves has harem when the definition of a harem is a stable of women that belong to 1 man. In anime beta-male is a compliment these MC’s are so pussy its obvious why fans in the US laugh at them. Japanese MC’s love to pretend like they have enhanced abilities because they are born genius but Japan’s education system is way behind that of europeans. The children of owners of corporations going to school with regular students is absurd.

  10. Seriously just one person tell me why there are no more animes made that go past 28 episodes. Why make a fucking series if you don’t want to finish the story. I hate D-Bags who say it is to promote the manga. It is obvious to everyone that the manga is far beneath the anime because it fails to finish the story. Why the hell would anyone want to read a dumb black and white comic where there are only a few words per page the story is crap manga is fuking lame seriously you have to be a virgin to think in this age of HD animation reading a stupid comic would be satisfactory. In place of finishing the story in animation. I mean WTF even the money hungry Jews that run holiywood would not settle for a crappy black and white comic.

  11. I would love to bet money on how nobody on this page will attempt to answer any of my questions. And you people call yourselves Anime fans you posers.

    1. “Please someone tell me why MC’s in harem anime are mislabeled has Harem. Even though the MC is scared of touching the skin of a woman who moves into his house” – Harem just means being surrounded by female love interests, nothing to do with how the MC acts.

      “Refuse to answer my questions on why Japanese men are so weak and cowardly how on earth are these people descended from samurai’s when they are to afraid to kiss a girl.” – Anime isn’t real life.

      “Seriously just one person tell me why there are no more animes made that go past 28 episodes. Why make a fucking series if you don’t want to finish the story.” – Not all anime need that many episodes to tell their stories. If the series doesn’t get the support, where would they get the money to produce these long shows?

    2. Posers? really? Dude, you aren’t asking any new hard questions. We talk about this stuff very often if you ever paid attention on the comments. Nobody has to answer you anything with that kind of attitude.

  12. Anime fan? You’re going out on a limb there, buddy.

    I only ingest this to preserve the delicate balance of despair and hope dwelling within me. Hope in the knowledge that the world of man can still be commanded by his greater sense, and despair in knowing that most of said world has already drowned six feet under in this schmuck.

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