Shokugeki no Soma Ep. 4: Holy mackerel

Shokugeki no Souma - 0401

Me too, buddy… me too. Anyway, if you haven’t watched the episode (or you’re not going to), the context here is that our hero’s making his way to the dorms.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0402

On the way there, he spots a giant stadium-looking structure in the distance. What is it for? It’s for battles! Food battles! What self-respecting anime school doesn’t have a giant fucking stadium?

Shokugeki no Souma - 0408

When Soma finally gets to the dorms, it initially looks like a dump. Covered in purple haze, wild animals running through the hallways, the dorm master (or whatever you want to call them) screaming at people over a loudspeaker, etc. Y’know, just anime things. If only reality was this interesting. The first time I moved into a dorm (years ago), it was relatively uneventful.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0403

Anyway, we meet this Yugioh-looking motherfucker. Hey, everyone needs something to do post-retirement.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0405

And yes, despite the dorms looking like a dump, Soma will still have to cook his way in. That’s right. Getting into the school requires a cooking challenge, but that seems reasonable. Having shelter over your head also requires a cooking challenge, though. ‘Cause if you don’t succeed, I guess you just have nowhere to sleep…? On the other hand, a lot of these kids are rich, so they don’t even need to necessarily live in the dorms. So I guess this is just a big fuck-you to the poor kids who can’t afford to find their own place…

Shokugeki no Souma - 0406

Blah blah blah, there’s nothing left in the kitchen, so Soma will just have to work his magic.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0409

It’s going to get a bit repetitive if this is going to be the set up every single time. We’ve fucked your meat! Let’s see what you can do now! We’ve oversalted your meat! Let’s see what you can do now! And now, there’s literally no meat in the kitchen! Let’s see what you can do now! And each time, you know Soma’s just going to blow their socks off anyway. And that’s the other thing: the bar is set so ridiculously high right from the very start. Soma has to start off as a master cook just to get in. He’s not just a prodigy who’s rough around the edges because he hasn’t had any former culinary education before. He comes in as a fucking master, ready to show these uppity kids a thing or two about cooking. Even though he didn’t know what beef bourguignon was, he just had to look at the recipe and nail that shit in the two allotted hours. It’s not about realism that we’re lacking. I could fucking care less that it’s not realistic. It’s just that there’s no drama. Or perhaps more aptly, the drama is one-dimensional. It’s okay to fail once or twice, and shounens are allowed to have good drama. I mean, don’t ask me to name one off the top of my head, but theoretically, I’m sure it’s possible!

Shokugeki no Souma - 0410

Anyway, this time around, he whips up a hamburg steak, but he used mackerel! Canned mackerel, in fact! I actually don’t have much to say this time around, because I honestly can’t imagine what this concoction would taste like.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0411

Sure, I love hamburgers, but I’ve never actually just had a hamburg steak by itself. Nope, I’ve never tried it. That’s not the hard part, though. I can imagine what a hamburg steak would taste like. The thing is, I’ve also never tried canned mackerel. I’ve had fresh mackerel in a sandwich, as sushi, grilled, etc. But chopped up finely, then bound together with eggs and panko crumbs so it resembles a hamburg steak? It’s not something that my palette can conceptualize.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0413

Of course, the Yugioh motherfucker thinks it’s good. I’ll just take her word for it.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0414

And he made a soup base out of dried squid, which really shocks and amaze the lady somehow, but I didn’t actually think much of it.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0415

I cook with fish sauce a-plenty, so dried squid doesn’t seem that nutty to me. Oh well.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0441

B-b-but she’s an old lady! Are we going to molest her with tentacles too and shit?

Shokugeki no Souma - 0416

It’s okay, because Soma’s food sends her to the past…

Shokugeki no Souma - 0417

…back to when she had massive titties. Why? Because this is a cooking show!

Shokugeki no Souma - 0418

Where did those tits go? Victims to gravity, I’m sure.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0419

Elsewhere, Megumi is buck-naked. ‘Cause why not. 13 15 is more than old enough! See? I’m paying attention, and now, this anime is suddenly amazing!

Shokugeki no Souma - 0420

This is a cooking show.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0421

Don’t worry, ladies, cause Soma gets naked too! No, not good enough?

Shokugeki no Souma - 0435

How ’bout this guy? This is a cooking show, so he has an apron on. Look, this is also a classy cooking show, okay? And Soma only walks in on Megumi because this rich ass school can’t afford more than one bath, so we gotta do that cliched anime thing where hurr hurr hurr it’s the girls’ turn to use the bath, so don’t accidentally walk in on them, boys!

Shokugeki no Souma - 0422

I know the door’s closed! I know the screen is fogged up! And I know the lights are on… but how do you know? How can you be sure that there isn’t a naked chick in there?!

Shokugeki no Souma - 0423

After the horrible ordeal of having to see his 13 15 year old classmate naked, Soma retires to his room only to have this weirdo pop out of nowhere and invite our hero to a dorm party.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0424

Aaaaaand these are all the residents. Or maybe they’re the only residents we need to know about, I guess. I won’t bother to learn their names now. That can wait until later when they have actually have actual stories or perhaps even personalities.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0425

Megumi keeps her mind on what’s most important to a young lady in Japan: getting married. No, no way, anime isn’t out of touch!

Shokugeki no Souma - 0426

She also confesses privately to the audience that it took her three months to pass the cooking challenge. So where did she stay in those three months? Questions without answers…

Shokugeki no Souma - 0427

Afterwards, it’s more story set-up time as the anime goes on and on about some Elite Ten that pretty much runs this school.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0428

Well, no, I came here to cook. What did you come here for?

Shokugeki no Souma - 0429

Y’see, they’re… they’re… meh, I’m already bored. I just don’t care about some Elite Ten. I’m only here for the cooking. Besides, I’m sure Soma will battle them one by one, and I’ll learn about these kids then. We already know that Erina’s one of them.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0432

Near the end of the night, after everyone’s gotten themselves drunk off of some rice juice, some of the kids show off what they’ve been working on.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0433

Another person fried up some veggies. Oh boy. I was hoping that the girl who keeps all the wild animals would making something out of the racoon, but nah… not yet… not yet…

Shokugeki no Souma - 0434

And as always, Soma has some kind of sick squid fetish. In fact, does he just carry a box of that shit with him at all times?

Shokugeki no Souma - 0438

After everyone but naked apron dude and Soma has gone to sleep, however, the former lets the latter taste some delicious mackerel fillet. And a puree. Puree of what? Shrug.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0437

But it’s Soma’s turn to lose all his clothes.

Shokugeki no Souma - 0440

But naked apron dude finally reveals his true identity… as the seventh ranked member of the Shinsengu-…

this shit is boring


12 Replies to “Shokugeki no Soma Ep. 4: Holy mackerel”

  1. HE DIED!!! The show was too amazing for his mind to handle! Oh my gosh- someone call a paramedic! Or even better, Tatsuya Stu!

    Nice review, I’m not watching it since I’ve already got the manga. And yeah, I only really read it for the “food porn”, though some of the other scenes are nice- they kinda toned down on the food-porn force-feeding after twenty or thirty chapters.

  2. As over the top as Yakitake Japan was, at least everyone was a working adult making money of their talents and traveling the world to enter these competitions or at least diffenrents locations. Here, it’s the same crap were high school is the hole world with a couple of wing extentions that feature a beach and an onsen. I mean, wasn’t the blond girl from last week some kind of cooking prodigy that every elite would pay top dollars to have her cook for them? What’s she still doing in highschool? Get a job.

    Oh, and was this your cat? What did you do for it to do that?

  3. I know you don’t like the show and all, but your post actually makes it sound hilarious. I’ve read some of the manga, and while it’s no award winner in my book, it’s not bad or mediocre. It’s dumb fun, with the little bit of intelligence sprinkled in(the cooking bits, I mean). Different strokes for different folks.

  4. “The first time I moved into a dorm (years ago), it was relatively uneventful.”

    You were lucky. The first time I moved into a dorm, it was just as shitty as this one (though not as colorful. Just shitty). I also found out someone WAS keeping farm animals in – a rabbit, to be exact – the hard way, some time later, when I was a room whose wardrobe had been previously occupied by said critter. You don’t want to know what does it mean to clean up rabbit piss from a piece of wooden furniture until it looks like you can actually keep your clothes into that thing.

      1. It was actually a rather charming place after you got used to it – the very laid back attitude meant little to no rules enforced, it was a sort of tacit pact between us and the direction: “the place is total shit, so as long as you don’t complain we will close both eyes and ears to whatever you do”. As a result, living there could be insanely fun. There was a high concentration of weirdos and otherwise fun people, though also some rather bad elements, bordering on delinquent (I was in a fight over who got to do laundry first once). Also while it was a male dorm, said lack of rules meant there were always lots of girls always going around all the time, so it wasn’t a big deal.

        The only part of it that wasn’t very anime cliché was that there was way more nudity and sex involved in most shenanigans than allowed on Japanese TV. Though after the naked apron scene, I’m not even sure about the “nudity” part any more.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.