Is It Wrong to Pick Up Girls In a Dungeon? Ep. 7: Eyes on me

DanMachi - 0719

Yeah, this was my face when I woke up today and realized which shows I would have to blog…

— HAY GUISE DA BAD GUYS ARE UP TO SOMETHING!

— And now, we’re back to our regularly scheduled schmaltz. Really, a minute of the villain talking to some faceless character is all we need. Storytelling has become that efficient.

— Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to focus our attention on how Lili can avoid arousing the detection of Smirking Adventurers — 100% evil men! — by simply going nekomimi mode. James Bond should take some notes. If he doesn’t have cat ears in Spectre, I’m not even watching that hack.

— Bellri eventually brings Lili to meet Hestia, so the familia grows by one.

DanMachi - 0703

Mom, please, the cup’s only big enough to protect Bellri.

— As Bellri conveniently leaves the room to fetch some tea, this allows the goddess to have some one-on-one time with the pretend catgirl. And what results from this? Lili is now officially Mommy #2. Everyone’s job is to guide our Bellri through childhood. DanMachi is just mimicking real life by accepting the fact that Bellri needs no father figure.

— Sure, there’s that guy who should eventually join their familia, but I bet he’s just going to be the aniki-type character.

— Yes, yes, make sure to babysit the hell out of the main charac–… whoa, these moms are acting a little inappropriate!

— And quite frankly, having two women fight over him is a little daunting for young Bellri, so he runs off to find… well, more maternal figures.

— Quick, insert something semi-homoerotic into this scene just for laughs!

DanMachi - 0708

Haha, hilarious!

— Then have some eyebleach. I refuse to believe that outfit isn’t spraypainted onto Eyes’ body.

— Yeah, that’s the face of our hero.

— Anyway, Eyes returns Bellri’s ugly armguard back to him. This also gives them an opportunity to talk, which results in the girl offering to give our hero some free combat training. Seriously, though? That’s her armor? She only needs to protect half of her right breast? When I had seen her wear the same armor in a previous episode, I thought maybe a strong dungeon mob and broken off half of it in an intense fight (yeah, right). Jokes on me, I guess.

— Oh-em-gee, you guys, Eyes is just so quirky.

— Honestly, both their weapons look way too short.

— Elsewhere, we see this big, burly dude attempt to train a minotaur into a brutal killing machine…? Well, duh, he’s a man, so he’s obviously evil.

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— We also see Bellri briefly grind on some more level 10 mobs (including those sad ogres). What’s funny, however, is that there’s no ending to this scene. Bellri jumps at his enemies, and then we just jump right back to him and Eyes and their awesome training sessions. The dungeon in this universe is like a useless appendage. It has no lore or anything. It’s just there, and its monsters are just there to be slayed, so on and so forth. The show doesn’t even give a shit about wrapping up a scene within the dungeon. It simply doesn’t matter.

— Hmm, how would Eyes react if she knew the truth? Well, she’s an anime character, so I’m sure she’d just be incredibly flattered to hear that some random guy she barely knows is head-over-heels in love with her and this is why he’s getting so strong.

— Out of nowhere, Eyes just randomly goes to sleep. Supposedly, adventurers need to be able to sleep anywhere, but since we never really spend anytime in the dungeon anyway, I don’t see why this would be a necessary skill.

A pink orb shows up out of nowhere and tells Bellri to be a creep. Then a blue orb tells him not to be a creep, but it sounds more to me that the blue orb thing is just possessive. Like Hestia. In all reality, there are no orbs.

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It’s just Bellri’s shitty conscience doing the talking, and somehow, there’s even a debate in his mind as to whether or not he should take advantage of a sleeping girl he barely knows. I guess part of growing up is to assault a woman.

— And no, his good side doesn’t win out. Bellri only pulls back because Eyes mutters something in her sleep. What a good hero we’ve got here.

— As a reward, he and Eyes go and get something to eat… only to now run into Hestia. I thought she was busy working in that weapons and armor shop, but maybe Hephaestus also runs a few food stands on the side. In all actuality, the anime doesn’t give a shit about world-building. Running into Hestia for no reason just gives us the perfect opportunity for this scene to occur:

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Ho ho ho, so funny. End episode.

— After the credits, the minotaur from earlier is now fully trained and murdering random adventurers. No doubt it’ll be Bellri’s job to bring it down… possibly saving Eyes in the process and thus calling it even between the two of them. She might also gain a few dokidoki feelings of her own as a result. But for now, let’s just focus on the fact that yet another 100% evil man gets killed by the minotaur. Hey, it’s that dude from the previous episode!

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Bilbo Baggins!

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8 thoughts on “Is It Wrong to Pick Up Girls In a Dungeon? Ep. 7: Eyes on me

  1. Akeem

    “— And no, his good side doesn’t win out.” I think it would actually be interesting if he actually did kiss her. Then the show could explore the distrust between them as a result of it and him feeling guilt for allowing his hormones to take over.

    Reply
  2. Akumaten (@a9ma10)

    The literal breastplate from “The Sacred Blacksmith” protects more than Eyes “armor”

    Reply
  3. Someguy64

    I think the minotaur should be the protagonist. I want to see the journey of a mook striving to one day become the post-game bonus boss of its genre. I was pretty invested in his training arc.

    Reply
  4. Hunter of Valen's Rejects

    What is this anime even building up to, aside from “here’s a generic fantasy setting with your generic boy and generic big boobied girl and a poor girl (that still manage to look anime-normal and carry backpacks the size of houses despite being poor) and her adventures with smirking men.”

    Everything so far seems to come from the team, looking to make a new anime despite having absolutely no motivation, coming up with whatever they usually come up and animating it without any rhyme or rhythm, and thus anything deep or meaningful we can think of is merely accidental and coincidential, considering that the creators never actually thought of anything.

    Reply
  5. ironherc

    The hell is a 99 cent store Sol Badguy looking character doing training a minotaur? who cares, this show sucks, miss booby strings the more I see her, the ugly her body looks to me, the world building is forgettable with nothing cool which begs the question of who would want to even visit a crappy fantasy setting like that? I mean, screw wanting to visit hodwards, middle earth, discworld, narnia, and all the other stupid fantasy worlds, lets get invested in the one that has a big dungeon with no personality or memorable landmarks and has the most generic creature ever. Gotta go watch jojo now to forget this till next week,

    Reply
    1. Akumaten (@a9ma10)

      “The hell is a 99 cent store Sol Badguy looking character ”
      That is what I thought!
      But I didn’t want to think such blasphemous thoughts associating this shitwith Sol Badguy and Guilty Gear.

      Reply
  6. Pingback: The Week in Anime Spring 2015 #1 — Just a Month or Two Late | Draggle's Anime Blog

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