High school. Woo. Alright, let’s cover one more show before I call it a night.
— I actually thought the first episode was… okay. It didn’t give the audience too much information about the setting, but it gave enough to tickle the imagination. And the tragic events towards the end of the episode? They were a decent way to cap things off, I felt. Even if cliched, there were emotions in those final scenes. And trust me, I usually detest child characters in anime. Right off the bat, we establish some strong motivations for the main character, but there’s a bit of a irony here. He managed to escape his fate as livestock only to walk right into the arms of someone who can just as easily exploit him. If the latest episode is any indication, Guren has been doing some shady shit to Yuichiro for quite some time now.
— But the second episode immediately brought Owari no Seraph back to earth. So you’re telling me that some deadly virus has devastated the world’s population, but heeeeere’s a giant fucking school! With all that missing manpower, where are people getting their food? Power? How does anything even get built?
— Shinoa claims that the Demon Army (or whatever the fuck they’re called) encourages everyone to openly embrace sex. Well, sure. With so few people left, we may as well fuck like rabbits and repopulate the world, right? And yet after six episodes, I have yet to see any free lovin’. Pfft, we can talk the talk, but we can’t walk the walk.
— Still, I can appreciate the fact that the show has been pretty much devoid of any fanservice. Imagine that! Usually by now, we would’ve gotten at least an upskirt shot from Shinoa. Or maybe have Yuichiro walk in on her because they somehow share a bath. But no, there’s no such thing in this anime as of yet… wait a minute, why is that?
— Because this is a show of bromances.
And even more bromances.
Get a room, bruhs.
— Anything good to say about the anime? I mean, I kinda like how the backgrounds are done?
I won’t say I approve of the overall art direction. The characters, for instance, look way too young and childish for my tastes. And the animation isn’t technically great anyway. But I don’t mind the backgrounds. Yeah…
— Yes, of course Mika is still alive. Why wouldn’t he be? And he’s a vampire now, too. Best of all, he’s been looking for his best bud Yuichiro. Bromances never die, bruh. Bromances for life.
— One negative thing: the main character is such a loud, aggressive, in-your-face boor. Not a fan. He’s got one mode and one mode only: yelling at the top of his lungs about how he wants to get revenge. Boring.
— What about older Mika? Just skulking around wordlessly. Oh, those vampires… always so moody.
— And of course, the vampires in anime pretty much consist of dandy-looking guys who are in love with the sound of their own voices…
…and loli-looking female characters. But don’t worry about whether or not it’s morally okay to fap to her character design, ’cause she’s got a dank soul.
— But all in all, the character designs are uninspired at best. What’s the better word? Ah right, ‘insipid.’
— What’s that? Our hero will soon start his training with the army?
Aaaaaand it’s just another fucking classroom. Whoop-dee-doo.
— The constant violence between Guren and Yuichiro is also not to my taste. I guess it’s supposed to be funny? Like dad’s good ol’ domestic violence? It doesn’t really have any effect anyway. Yuichiro stays the same no matter how many times he gets kicked. I actually kind of wish the kicks actually worked.
— And my god, the dialogue in this show is just…
Who wrote this cringeworthy shit?
— Guren simply walks into a classroom and stabs the ground, thereby causing black shit to seep out of the ground and assault the minds and hearts of all the students. The ones that don’t get knocked out are thus strong enough to form a contract with a demon!
It’s weird, though. You don’t actually see the students do any training. It’s not that I actually want to see those cliche training montages. Seriously, ain’t nobody’s got time for that. But at the same time, I have no idea what those kids have actually been doing in this “classroom” this entire time. For example, were they being taught how to resist demons or what? ‘Cause it sure as hell didn’t look like the three main bros did anything to stay conscious during Guren’s assault. They just kinda stood there…
— Doesn’t it seem like every time these characters need to go somewhere, they just keep heading down? There’s like an infinite flight of stairs from the surface down to… well, I can only imagine some sort of anime hell.
— And yeah, you form contracts with demons so that you can use them as weapons or something. So demons vs. vampires. But the demons look lame as fuck:
No, wait, it gets even worse:
Remember when Homer invented a shotgun that could apply makeup to a woman’s face in an instant? Change makeup to anime, and shoot the kid from Ico at point blank range. Voila!
— The power of bromance, however, brings Yoichi back from the brink. I can’t wait until Yuichiro and Mika run into each other again. It’s going to be a great bro-off.
— All in all, a pretty crap show, but it’s somehow getting the split-cour treatment. And honestly, I haven’t got much to watch this spring season anyway. Sure, fine, I’ll laugh at this shit until something else catches my eye.
— Yo, are there even anything good on the horizon for the summer?
— One more parting shot: