It’s been a while since I blogged anything anime-related, huh? Well, let’s ease back into it. I’m going to start off by separating the wheat from the chaff, then in later posts, I’ll take closer looks at the shows I’ll definitely cover. Oh yeah, I’m going to have to skimp on pictures for a while, because my account is out of space, and I’m too lazy to use Imgur. And by skimp, I won’t have any after the first one. And oh yeah, refer to one of those popular charts to know what I’m talking about.
Diabolik Lovers: More, Blood
I mean, this pretty much says it all:
“They abuse her psychologically and physically, often feeding off her. While she optimistically accepts her situation….”
What shoujo doesn’t optimistically accept her situation? That’s the problem right there. There are few instances in which the shoujo goes off the beaten path and says, “Meh, I can do better than you fucks.”
Verdict: Not a goddamn chance.
Lance N’ Masques
“One day, he meets a girl named Makio Kidouin, and when finding that she lives alone, he decides to watch over her.”
Well shit… at least it isn’t psychological and physical abuse, right? Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.
Verdict: Likely not.
Not interested, and I’m not going to pretend to like it just because it’s a classic.
Young Black Jack
“[A] brilliant maverick doctor who practices without a license…” Uh-huh. So why would anyone go maverick? If the establishment is all fucked up, right? The system’s bloated with bureaucracy and/or rotten to the core, so our hero has to break bad, color outside the lines, blah blah blah. The biggest pitfall is if you’re just a maverick because it’s cool. Cool for cool’s sake is, predictably, not very cool. Anyway, I wonder where this show’s nonconformist will fall on the spectrum of incorrigible rogues.
Hacka Doll the Anim-
“New form of panic suspense animation?” What does that even mean?
Verdict: Maybe. I mean, I just want to know what the synopsis is talking about.
Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo R Second Season
The characters are too flat to blog about.
Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou
Even if it was entertaining, I can’t imagine I would be able to write anything interesting about the anime anyway.
Haikyuu!! 2nd Season
It’s the same with Kindaichi Shounen. I like sports. I really do. But barring a few exceptional exceptions, sports fiction — anime or otherwise — lack rich enough characters to keep me hooked. Why do I watch sports? You can take this video and apply it to all sports in general. Sports fiction doesn’t give me those unbelievable, “I can’t believe he/she just did that” moments. Part of it comes down to the simple fact that sports is undeniably real. When I see Jordan hit shots after unbelievable shots, I’m like, “Holy shit, this is actually happening!” And it’s nuts, because most of us have played some form of basketball before, so we know that sort of athletic feat is almost magical. On the other hand, when I watch a sports anime, I just can’t get past the fact that none of the athletic feat onscreen is not real. I just can’t; my suspension of disbelief won’t go that far. So I can’t really be in awe of a fictional character’s accomplishment the same way that I would marvel at, say, Djokovic’s sublime ability to retrieve every shot. To make up for this, the characters have to be interesting in other ways, i.e. rich characters. Long story short, Haikyuu!!’s first season did nothing to convince me that the series is worth watching.
Gakusen Toshi Asterisk
“Invertia.” A new potential called “The Genestella.” “Jargon.” “In quotes.” A-1 “Pictures.”
Verdict: Sounds like another dumb A-1 Pictures adaptation to laugh at.
Kidou Senshi Gundam: Tekketsu no Orphans
With Gundam anything, I always feel like the need to sell merchandise ends up getting in the way of the storytelling. I just want a decent story. That’s all.
Verdict: Leaning no.
Ame-iro Cocoa: Rainy Color e Youkoso!
Never even watched the first season. Sounded like a bore back then, sounds like a bore now.
Teekyuu Sixth Season
I’m surprised this isn’t the sixth time I’ve said something along the lines of “Fuck you, Teekyou.”
Verdict: Of course not.
Verdict: Of course not.
Hidan no Aria AA
A spinoff of a show I never cared about in the first place. An underclassman trying to earn an upperclassman’s respect and acceptance might have something interesting to say about the kohai-sempai dynamic in East Asian cultures, but not in this package. Not like this.
Verdict: Of course not.
Tantei Team KZ Jiken Note
Oh? More mysteries? “Aya Tachibana is a sixth grader…” I’m out.
Ore ga Ojou-sama Gekkou ni “Shomin Sample” Toshite Gets*Sareta Ken
What a title.
“The school is full of sheltered girls who have never met male peers before.”
Standards are so high these days. It’s not enough to be a virgin anymore, girls. Some pointless membrane you’ll never laid eyes on is just the price of admission. To really play the game, you better have not even talked to a boy your age.
Verdict: Maybe to mock.
Sakurako-san no Ashimoto ni wa Shitai ga Umatteiru
“Various incidents regarding bones” is the first remotely intriguing thing I’ve read so far this eason. Something to take a closer look at, maybe.
Tai-Madou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai
Silver Link is on a roll. Everything they touch looks to be utter harem dreck.
Verdict: The same as every other stupid harem show this season.
Plot summary not available yet. Okay.
The anime follows five young women who are aiming to become idols as they do different exercise routines such as push-ups, situps, dance…
Ahaha, really? What’s next? Are we going to do a show about idols brushing their teeth and showering too? Watch as they practice basic hygiene you fat piece of nerd shit.
Verdict: I’d rather run a marathon.
Subete ga F ni Naru: The Perfect Insider
“Souhei Saikawa is a member of the Saikawa Research Lab. He goes on a vacation held by the lab, and Moe Nishinosono, the daughter of his mentor, joins the group on their vacation despite not being a part of the lab.” We get it. Lots of mysteries this season, though. One of them has to succeed, right?
Verdict: I’ll take a closer look.
K: Return of Kings
Sequel to something I never really watched.
Soukyuu no Fafner – Dead Aggressor: Exodus 2nd Season
Too much I haven’t watched to catch up on now.
Verdict: I’ll pass.
Onsen Yousei Hakone-chan
At some point, you just run out of things to say when you have this many shows in on season. This is about hot springs or some shit. Like, what do you even say to that? There are not enough fucks in the world for every stupid ad-lib premise that anime cooks up.
Verdict: I have better things to do.
One Punch Man
The premise isn’t very compelling: “…because he is so strong, he has become bored and frustrated with winning all of his battles so easily.” Okay.
Valkyrie Drive -Mermaid-
So you kiss the girl, and she turns into a sword that you can wield against your enemies. It’s been done a billion times. But this time, both of the characters are girls, so it’s magically progressive, subverted and thus interesting.
Koukou Hoshi Kageki
Slice of boredom.
The problem with the first Noragami series was that although its underlying themes and ideas had potential, none of it ever really went anywhere. The anime never really had any defining statement to say.
Verdict: Maybe, but I’m sure I’ll just be disappointed again.
Just another mecha show.
Verdict: If I really have to watch something…
Rakudai Kishi no Calvalry
It’s Silver Link again, so what do you expect?
“…one day, he is challenged to a duel by Stella, a foreign princess and the ‘Number One’ student. In this duel, ‘the loser must be obedient for life.'”
It’s funny how comfortable people are with that idea. “Huh? Be a slave? Yeah, sure, I guess… I was never really sold on autonomy anyway.”
Verdict: Do you stare at a car crash when you drive by?
Concrete Revolutio: Choujin Gensou
Superheroes are members of a modern pantheon that we don’t directly worship. But we need those mythological beings even if they’re no longer our gods and kings. So I don’t care too much about the superheroes themselves, but it’s always interesting what sort of role they are meant to play in their respective fictional universes. The real world is missing something that these guys are supposed to provide. What will that something be here?
Shinmai Maou no Testament BURST
At first, it was like, “Why watch this when you can just watch actual hentai?” Now, it’s like, “Why even watch the broadcast version of this?” Well, I watch it for the articles.
Verdict: See every other harem show.
Owari no Seraph 2nd Season
The first season wasn’t bad enough to be stomach-achingly funny. The second season will likely fall short of spectacular failure as well, and that’s a crying shame.
Verdict: If I have to watch something.
Utawarerumono: Itsuwari no Kamen
Verdict: 99% no.
Gochuumon wa Usagi Desu ka??
Verdict: Absolutely never.
Komori-san wa kotowarenai!
Just one of many uncompelling slice of life anime series every season.
I’ve long come to accept that other people’s definition of the word ‘adventure’ far differs from mine. What’s worse is that anything that sounds remotely RPG-like often translates to boring caves when it comes to anime. Right off the bat, the mysterious girl at the center of the story is discovered in an underground mining ruins so…
Garo: Guren no Tsuki
I’ll blog this after I cover the first season’s finale.
World Trigger: Isekai Kara no Toubousha
I don’t even watch the S-tier shounen series.
Dance with Devils
We’ve seen it all, really. The bishies are really the Chinese Zodiac/vampires/Greek Gods/train stations… By comparison, demons are pretty lame. Now, if they were all anthropomorphized toilets with a penchant for shoujo stool samples, then you might raise an eyebrow. But until then, who the fuck cares?
Hokuto no Ken: Ichigo Aji
“‘Bondage x stylish horror’ as a theme” plus “there are cameras everywhere” sounds like it would be an okay premise for anything but broadcast television.
Alright, the next time you guys see me, I’ll take a closer look at the maybes and I’ll see if I can prune the list down even further.