Fall 2015 Anime Preview: As fair and balanced as cable news

fall season

It’s been a while since I blogged anything anime-related, huh? Well, let’s ease back into it. I’m going to start off by separating the wheat from the chaff, then in later posts, I’ll take closer looks at the shows I’ll definitely cover. Oh yeah, I’m going to have to skimp on pictures for a while, because my account is out of space, and I’m too lazy to use Imgur. And by skimp, I won’t have any after the first one. And oh yeah, refer to one of those popular charts to know what I’m talking about.


 

Diabolik Lovers: More, Blood

I mean, this pretty much says it all:

“They abuse her psychologically and physically, often feeding off her. While she optimistically accepts her situation….”

What shoujo doesn’t optimistically accept her situation? That’s the problem right there. There are few instances in which the shoujo goes off the beaten path and says, “Meh, I can do better than you fucks.”

Verdict: Not a goddamn chance.

Lance N’ Masques

“One day, he meets a girl named Makio Kidouin, and when finding that she lives alone, he decides to watch over her.”

Well shit… at least it isn’t psychological and physical abuse, right? Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.

Verdict: Likely not.

Lupin III

Not interested, and I’m not going to pretend to like it just because it’s a classic.

Verdict: Nah.

Young Black Jack

“[A] brilliant maverick doctor who practices without a license…” Uh-huh. So why would anyone go maverick? If the establishment is all fucked up, right? The system’s bloated with bureaucracy and/or rotten to the core, so our hero has to break bad, color outside the lines, blah blah blah. The biggest pitfall is if you’re just a maverick because it’s cool. Cool for cool’s sake is, predictably, not very cool. Anyway, I wonder where this show’s nonconformist will fall on the spectrum of incorrigible rogues.

Verdict: Maybe.

Hacka Doll the Anim-

Verdict: No.

Kagewani

“New form of panic suspense animation?” What does that even mean?

Verdict: Maybe. I mean, I just want to know what the synopsis is talking about.

Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo R Second Season

The characters are too flat to blog about.

Verdict: No.

Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou

Even if it was entertaining, I can’t imagine I would be able to write anything interesting about the anime anyway.

Verdict: No.

Haikyuu!! 2nd Season

It’s the same with Kindaichi Shounen. I like sports. I really do. But barring a few exceptional exceptions, sports fiction — anime or otherwise — lack rich enough characters to keep me hooked. Why do I watch sports? You can take this video and apply it to all sports in general. Sports fiction doesn’t give me those unbelievable, “I can’t believe he/she just did that” moments. Part of it comes down to the simple fact that sports is undeniably real. When I see Jordan hit shots after unbelievable shots, I’m like, “Holy shit, this is actually happening!” And it’s nuts, because most of us have played some form of basketball before, so we know that sort of athletic feat is almost magical. On the other hand, when I watch a sports anime, I just can’t get past the fact that none of the athletic feat onscreen is not real. I just can’t; my suspension of disbelief won’t go that far. So I can’t really be in awe of a fictional character’s accomplishment the same way that I would marvel at, say, Djokovic’s sublime ability to retrieve every shot. To make up for this, the characters have to be interesting in other ways, i.e. rich characters. Long story short, Haikyuu!!’s first season did nothing to convince me that the series is worth watching.

Verdict: Nah.

Gakusen Toshi Asterisk

“Invertia.” A new potential called “The Genestella.” “Jargon.” “In quotes.” A-1 “Pictures.”

Verdict: Sounds like another dumb A-1 Pictures adaptation to laugh at.

Kidou Senshi Gundam: Tekketsu no Orphans

With Gundam anything, I always feel like the need to sell merchandise ends up getting in the way of the storytelling. I just want a decent story. That’s all.

Verdict: Leaning no.

Ame-iro Cocoa: Rainy Color e Youkoso!

Never even watched the first season. Sounded like a bore back then, sounds like a bore now.

Verdict: No.

Teekyuu Sixth Season

I’m surprised this isn’t the sixth time I’ve said something along the lines of “Fuck you, Teekyou.”

Verdict: Of course not.

Yuriyuri San*Hai

Verdict: Of course not.

Hidan no Aria AA

A spinoff of a show I never cared about in the first place. An underclassman trying to earn an upperclassman’s respect and acceptance might have something interesting to say about the kohai-sempai dynamic in East Asian cultures, but not in this package. Not like this.

Verdict: Of course not.

Tantei Team KZ Jiken Note

Oh? More mysteries? “Aya Tachibana is a sixth grader…” I’m out.

Verdict: Nah.

Ore ga Ojou-sama Gekkou ni “Shomin Sample” Toshite Gets*Sareta Ken

What a title.

“The school is full of sheltered girls who have never met male peers before.”

Standards are so high these days. It’s not enough to be a virgin anymore, girls. Some pointless membrane you’ll never laid eyes on is just the price of admission. To really play the game, you better have not even talked to a boy your age.

Verdict: Maybe to mock.

Sakurako-san no Ashimoto ni wa Shitai ga Umatteiru

“Various incidents regarding bones” is the first remotely intriguing thing I’ve read so far this eason. Something to take a closer look at, maybe.

Verdict: Maybe.

Tai-Madou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai

Silver Link is on a roll. Everything they touch looks to be utter harem dreck.

Verdict: The same as every other stupid harem show this season.

Monster Strike

Plot summary not available yet. Okay.

Verdict: No.

Anitore! EX

The anime follows five young women who are aiming to become idols as they do different exercise routines such as push-ups, situps, dance…

Ahaha, really? What’s next? Are we going to do a show about idols brushing their teeth and showering too? Watch as they practice basic hygiene you fat piece of nerd shit.

Verdict: I’d rather run a marathon.

Subete ga F ni Naru: The Perfect Insider

“Souhei Saikawa is a member of the Saikawa Research Lab. He goes on a vacation held by the lab, and Moe Nishinosono, the daughter of his mentor, joins the group on their vacation despite not being a part of the lab.” We get it. Lots of mysteries this season, though. One of them has to succeed, right?

Verdict: I’ll take a closer look.

Cardfight!! Vangu-

Verdict: No.

K: Return of Kings

Sequel to something I never really watched.

Verdict: No.

Soukyuu no Fafner – Dead Aggressor: Exodus 2nd Season

Too much I haven’t watched to catch up on now.

Verdict: I’ll pass.

Onsen Yousei Hakone-chan

At some point, you just run out of things to say when you have this many shows in on season. This is about hot springs or some shit. Like, what do you even say to that? There are not enough fucks in the world for every stupid ad-lib premise that anime cooks up.

Verdict: I have better things to do.

One Punch Man

The premise isn’t very compelling: “…because he is so strong, he has become bored and frustrated with winning all of his battles so easily.” Okay.

Verdict: Maybe.

Valkyrie Drive -Mermaid-

So you kiss the girl, and she turns into a sword that you can wield against your enemies. It’s been done a billion times. But this time, both of the characters are girls, so it’s magically progressive, subverted and thus interesting.

Verdict: No.

Koukou Hoshi Kageki

Slice of boredom.

Verdict: No.

Noragami Aragoto

The problem with the first Noragami series was that although its underlying themes and ideas had potential, none of it ever really went anywhere. The anime never really had any defining statement to say.

Verdict: Maybe, but I’m sure I’ll just be disappointed again.

Heavy Object

Just another mecha show.

Verdict: If I really have to watch something…

Rakudai Kishi no Calvalry

It’s Silver Link again, so what do you expect?

“…one day, he is challenged to a duel by Stella, a foreign princess and the ‘Number One’ student. In this duel, ‘the loser must be obedient for life.'”

It’s funny how comfortable people are with that idea. “Huh? Be a slave? Yeah, sure, I guess… I was never really sold on autonomy anyway.”

Verdict: Do you stare at a car crash when you drive by?

Concrete Revolutio: Choujin Gensou

Superheroes are members of a modern pantheon that we don’t directly worship. But we need those mythological beings even if they’re no longer our gods and kings. So I don’t care too much about the superheroes themselves, but it’s always interesting what sort of role they are meant to play in their respective fictional universes. The real world is missing something that these guys are supposed to provide. What will that something be here?

Verdict: Maybe.

Shinmai Maou no Testament BURST

At first, it was like, “Why watch this when you can just watch actual hentai?” Now, it’s like, “Why even watch the broadcast version of this?” Well, I watch it for the articles.

Verdict: See every other harem show.

Owari no Seraph 2nd Season

The first season wasn’t bad enough to be stomach-achingly funny. The second season will likely fall short of spectacular failure as well, and that’s a crying shame.

Verdict: If I have to watch something.

Utawarerumono: Itsuwari no Kamen

Sounds forgettable.

Verdict: 99% no.

Gochuumon wa Usagi Desu ka??

Verdict: Never.

Owarimonogatari

Verdict: Absolutely never.

Komori-san wa kotowarenai!

Just one of many uncompelling slice of life anime series every season.

Comet Lucifer

I’ve long come to accept that other people’s definition of the word ‘adventure’ far differs from mine. What’s worse is that anything that sounds remotely RPG-like often translates to boring caves when it comes to anime. Right off the bat, the mysterious girl at the center of the story is discovered in an underground mining ruins so…

Verdict: Meh.

Garo: Guren no Tsuki

I’ll blog this after I cover the first season’s finale.

Verdict: Yeah.

World Trigger: Isekai Kara no Toubousha

I don’t even watch the S-tier shounen series.

Dance with Devils

We’ve seen it all, really. The bishies are really the Chinese Zodiac/vampires/Greek Gods/train stations… By comparison, demons are pretty lame. Now, if they were all anthropomorphized toilets with a penchant for shoujo stool samples, then you might raise an eyebrow. But until then, who the fuck cares?

Verdict: Nope.

Hokuto no Ken: Ichigo Aji

Meh.

Verdict: Nah.

Kowabon

“‘Bondage x stylish horror’ as a theme” plus “there are cameras everywhere” sounds like it would be an okay premise for anything but broadcast television.

Verdict: Sure…


 

Alright, the next time you guys see me, I’ll take a closer look at the maybes and I’ll see if I can prune the list down even further.

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35 thoughts on “Fall 2015 Anime Preview: As fair and balanced as cable news

  1. IonCaron (@IonCaron)

    Cristen the blog’s return with yet more…interesting…anime contenders! haha! Nice.

    “Diabolik Lovers: More, Blood” sounds like animemeets Fifty Shades of Totally-Not-Rape-Seriously-It’s-Completely-Consensual. haha Though what’s worse than this is the genuine bile I feel lurching up when I see a wonky-animated rehash of Lupin III.

    Lupin III was amazing, so amazing it seems to have greatly inspired P5 in more ways than one. Still, it’s a classic for a reason and shouldn’t be redone or added to (outside of anime films, obviously). Yet worse than this was the HORRIBLE realization that “Young Black Jack” was indeed THE Black Jack, but younger. It’s like “Young Sherlock Holmes”. You just don’t do that! It’s a travesty! Plus, again, the artwork is just completely out of style with how the story is meant to look based on the original designs. Then again, if you don’t know Black Jack you might like it.
    But please watch Black Jack if you’re ever hurting for a really good anime series on medical surgery and characters to watch.

    Pretty interested to see what Garo 2 will bring out, and like you I’m not all that hopeful for Kowabon, not because the premise isn’t interesting but it really sounds like yet another show which, like that cannibal sister one, will be 90% black censorship on-screen.

    “Ahaha, really? What’s next? Are we going to do a show about idols brushing their teeth and showering too? Watch as they practice basic hygiene you fat piece of nerd shit.”
    HAha!

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      I don’t even know if Kowabon is a fully fleshed out series. We’ll see, I guess, but there’s a dearth of information.

      Reply
      1. Absolute Zero

        What a surprise, what happened last time? you cover Garo up to 22 episodes and with only two episodes remaining, why did you stop? I though you enjoyed the show.

        Reply
  2. exof954

    Nice to see you back! …Just in time for quite possibly the worst anime season in recent history. Good god, this is bad. Seriously, I usually can find 8 to 15 interesting anime each season to watch, with only a third of those at best being sequels. This time I’m only watching Noragami, Gundam, Haikyuu, One-Punch-Man and *MAAAAAYYYBE* Concrete Revolutiono and the World Trigger thingie.
    …Okay, and maybe the AoT middle-school thing too. Good god, I’m desperate here. Like, over half of these things are either moe, bishie, or disguised hentai- and some of ’em are two out of three! Jueeez…. I dunno, I wouldn’t blame you for sitting most of this stuff out.

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      Every season, people say it’s the worst one yet. I’ve been doing this for six years. It’s all the same.

      Reply
      1. exof954

        Ah, yeah… I guess that’s true. I’ve only been around since Captain Earth and Mahouka aired, so that does make sense- like how sophomores and juniors usually blame freshmen for whatever bad things happen at their school. Kinda surprised you’re able to keep coming back, now that I think about it, but I guess you’ve probably heard that before too. XD

        Reply
      2. spectreandy

        It’s the saddest thing when you can say something like that.
        Actually, I would love a chart that illustrates that claim. I mean, it’s an actual fact but…

        Worse than what happened in ’01 and throughout in US history amirite.

        Reply
  3. The Jovian

    Going by that paragraph you wrote for Concrete Revolutio, I’m surprised you don’t read superhero comics. Most analyses I’ve read that draw comparisons between modern superhero narratives and ancient mythological narratives were concerning the characters from DC and Marvel, and usually not in reference to their film incarnations. But it’s not like you’re missing out, at least not with the current state of the medium. The output of comics is huge, yet the general quality level isn’t much better than that of the anime industry.

    Reply
      1. The Jovian

        I’m assuming you mean the general art style of superhero comics? Colorful, fetishistic tights and capes on idealized human bodies just aren’t for everybody, I suppose. Personally, I find it preferable to the typical anime art style.

        :-P

        Reply
  4. archapp

    Glad to have you back. Unfortunately, the season doesn’t seem very appealing. I’ve only seen a couple sports anime myself, but I always thought they were alright. Basically toned down shounen for the most part.

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      Alright is also bland and uninteresting. That’s how I see it. I’m not climbing up a mountain and calling them shit, but at the same time, I just don’t have the time for alright anymore.

      Reply
  5. Iroald

    Hey man, glad to have you back, I’ve missed your posts. Looking forward to that Garo article and, of course, to Guren no Tsuki. Let’s hope they don’t mess it up.

    Reply
  6. mei

    “But barring a few exceptional exceptions, sports fiction — anime or otherwise — lack rich enough characters to keep me hooked.”

    I’m curious to know which sports anime you’ve watched that were the exception. I think one was Ping Pong the Animation, but were there others?

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      I was really only thinking of Ping Pong. There might be others I have seen that weren’t so bad, but nothing that will come to the mind after ten seconds of brainstorming.

      Reply
  7. eternia

    True, it was actually like this every time. Only 3-4 shows worth watching each season.
    There are times that I thought I can watch 8 shows, but heck, some of them they got boring, and trimmed down to 4 very fast.
    Ore Monogatari and Kyoukai no Rinne are such case.
    I stopped watching them around episode 18.
    A delicious cake is no longer delicious if they have the same flavor every time.

    Anyway, I am glad to see you back, E Minor. Is there any other blogger who got this many comments after going on hiatus? :-D

    Reply
  8. Emmannuel Alexandre

    Yay, I’m glad you’re back!

    This seasons seems to be cringeworthy though. Lately, I’ve been avoiding most anime lately, most of them simply sucks as of lately. Let’s see if there is a hidden gem there, I’m only confident on One-Punch man,

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      I’ve move past the stage of hoping that there are good shows to watch. I’m just going to enjoy the process of blogging whether or not any of them are good.

      Reply
      1. spectreandy

        For me at least, your posts are some of the last remainders of people that I remember that in this medium, story and animation (that wholly make up this medium) exist, your brutal and justified evisceration of SAO and Mahouka) convince me that there are improvements to be made.

        For anime at this stage, there is more pain than pleasure to blog these, and I am in admiration that you continue to do this daunting task.

        Reply
  9. kenshirojoestar

    I liked the trailer of “Subete ga F ni Naru: The Perfect Insider”. That show has an interesting premise. I hope that they do not ruin that show.

    Reply
    1. kenshirojoestar

      The problem is that “Subete ga F ni Naru: The Perfect Insider” is an A-1 picture anime. I am not fan of that studio.

      Reply
  10. spectreandy

    Yeeeeaaaah…

    If we compare this to the film industry, this is pretty much the “beginning of the year where nobody remembers when the fuck it came out” aka it’s oblivion and nobody fucking remembers unless zombie-Kubrick directed it. That’s why Oscar-hopefuls try to push back their magnus opus contenders closer to the ceremonies to try and get a shot at a nomination or award. Pretty scummy if you ask me, but I’m a nobody.

    This being said. Fucking WOW. What? This pieces of donkey shites? Yeah, beginning of the “year” it is. The only real thing I’m looking out for this season is Haikyuu! And that’s only because I saw onee-sans from volleyball. Just genderbend them and it’s cool right? Is that how it works? Yeah, okay, yeah, awesome, right… (help me)

    To be real, it’s great that you’re back to posting again; you’re some of the very few reasons I every follow this site. That being said, let’s see some awful fucking shit. It’s not going to be SAO-levels to be sure, but it’s going to be fucking awesome.

    Cheers.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous

    Nice to see you back, I’m barely watching the new shows so I can judge what I’m watching much easier. Superhero anime are scarce this day and age, as a comic book reader is nice to see three in one season (One Punch Man, Concrete Revolution and Garo which was inspired by live action tokusatsu so yeah, kinda counts).

    Reply

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