This week, we have two more shows to add to the party: Endride and Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta. Woo, nothing like a Monday.
Big Order Ep. 6
So we get an Iyo-focused episode. She throws herself at him over and over, but to no avail. Like most anime protagonists, Eiji is as dense as a rock and not the pleasant pumice kind. By the way, the whole pregnancy scare from two episodes ago was apparently just a “prediction.” She didn’t really get pregnant. She just looked as though she did… because, y’know, predictions and shit. I predict that I’m gonna be rich as fuck, so can I have some money show up in my wallet for a few days? Just, y’know, as a sign of what’s to come?
Anyway, Eiji is still trying to cure his step-sister’s terminal disease. Using Iyo’s powers, he tracks down some lady who can help out with that, but he ends up having to play some sort of game where he and Iyo need to catch a ball…? They eventually succeed, but then the bad guys show up. Yeah, I think that about does it for this week’s episode. Let’s move on.
Endride Ep. 8
I think I covered the first episode at the start of the season, so we should already be familiar with the anime’s premise. But just to recap a bit, Shun was admiring a crystal when it sucked him into a fantasy world. Well, this fantasy world is actually under the Earth’s surface. In any case, he needs to reach Babel if he wants to return home. Along the way, he’s caught up in Prince Emilio’s desire to kill King Delzaine and thus avenge his father. Unfortunately for Emilio, assassinating a ruler is not that easy, so our prince needs to recruit the help of the Ignauts, a group of revolutionaries hoping to overthrow Delzaine. As Emilio sees the world outside the castle walls for the first time, he learns that the kingdom is not doing so hot. There’s rampant poverty and discrimination. Oh my, will the prince cast his revenge mission aside and fight for the people instead?
Yep, it’s an age old story. Every so often, a rich person becomes disillusioned with their upper class life, so they go slumming it with the poor. Their ego is shattered. They’re psychologically confused. Luckily for them, the lower class is there to help build them back up. As a result, said rich person will gain a new purpose in life! They are revitalized! They return home and take back what is rightfully theirs! With that, the movie, novel, or what-have-you comes to an end. Oh, don’t worry, the kingdom will live happily ever after. We won’t actually see any of that part play out, but trust us. It’ll work out. Emilio would totally end poverty and discrimination. You simply have to replace one bad king with a good king. See, monarchies aren’t inherently bad. And y’know, had that iceberg not hit the Titanic, Rose and Jack would’ve totally lived blissfully ever after in New York City. Mm-hmm.
Anyway, this week’s episode has Emilio and the Ignauts going to an island full of Zoozians for help. They’re Zoozians, because they look like animals. Very clever, these guys… For the most part, the two main characters are annoying as fuck. Emilio is a broody, moody dick, and Shun is a brat through and through. Every episode is littered with “Urusai!” and “I didn’t need your help!” and “Your face makes me sick!” The two of them even get into a fistfight at one point in their journey, but this is apparently no big deal. According to the anime, this is just how guys bond or some shit. I don’t recall ever punching any of my friends — male or female — in the face, but I guess that just means I have no real friends.
Gakusen Toshi Asterisk 2nd Season Ep. 8
A-1 Pictures probably thought they were getting a real winner with Gakusen Toshi Asterisk. It’s sort of a harem, but there are tons of battles! Sprinkle in some intrigue between the various school, and we have ourselves a great show, right?! Instead, you have the familiar jack-of-all-trades show that doesn’t actually do anything well. The girls all love Ayato, but the anime features little to no harem hijinks. As for the battles, they’re all the same. This week’s battle is hardly unique enough for me to distinguish it from the previous ones. The setting never changes, and neither do the stakes. It’s just incredibly repetitive. Last but not least, we’re almost done with the second season, but is this story actually going anywhere? Is this guy ever gonna learn the truth behind his sister’s disappearance or what? Meh, best not to think about it.
By the way, how are A-1 Pictures’ coffers looking? Do they need to do another SAO sequel to recuperate some money or what?
Hundred Ep. 8
So the “mission” officially kicks off, but all you really have to do is kill as many Savages as possible. Not only that, the Savages all look the same, and they all die the same. Again, Hundred’s biggest problem is that it lacks a real villain. None of the combat scenes are interesting to watch, because you’re never under the impression that the heroes are in any danger. Anyway, Claudia is still trying to convince Emilia to return to Gudenberg, so she tricks Hayato and Claire into going off on their own in the middle of the night. She makes them think she had seen a Savage by a lake. On the way there, those two actually do bump into a Savage. Claire tries to take it out by herself, but she clumsily slips on her ass. As a result, Hayato has to save the day once again.
Oh well, mission accomplished, right? We can go back now, right? Nope. Remember, Claire fell on her ass, so there’s dirt on it now. She can’t return to camp looking like that! She thus decides to take a bath in a nearby lake. We get some more boring backstory from Claire about her dysfunctional family. Apparently, her mom is a mad scientist, and she created Liza by injecting “Savage fluid” into one of her eggs. Ew. But thanks to this, Liza is super strong, blah blah blah. One fateful day, a Savage was going to kill Claire, so Liza had to unleash her full might on it. Since then, she’s been in that comatose state. Nevertheless, she emanates enough energy to power an entire island all by her lonesome. Right. Oh, would you look at that? The episode is about to end, so we better move onto a new subject. The bad guys suddenly attack, so the episode ends with a staring contest between Claire and those three Hunters.
Although it may have been yet another forgettable Hundred episode, I still contend that this show is better than Gakusen Toshi Asterisk. Just a tiny bit.
Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta. Ep. 7
I actually wish I could like this show. No, I’m not joking. At times, the anime is even funny. But more importantly, I’ve played a lot of MMOs, so I can actually relate to many of the jokes and gags in Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta. The hardcore guild that wants you to drop everything in your personal life just to play the game? Yep, been there, done that. Can’t say I’m proud of it, but hey, we’ve all been kids before. Three hours? Puh-leeze. You can’t get anything done in three hours. Running into players with poor gear simply because they want to look pretty? This happened on a daily basis before every MMO started to implement a wardrobe function. And of course, wondering if any of those female characters in your guild are actually, y’know, girls. So what’s the problem? Seems like the anime should be light-hearted fun, right? Well, the problem is that the show’s way too greedy.
Nishimura and Ako are married in-game, but due to an embarrassing past experience — he proposed to a catgirl, but “she” turned him down — the guy believes that there aren’t any girls online. One day, his guild organizes a meet-up in the real world, and when he gets there, he finds out that Ako actually is a girl! Wow! She’s cute, too! And her breasts are ridiculously large! They even go to the same high school! What are the odds! Then he meets Schwein, who’s also a girl! Amazing! Two of his guildmates are girls! Last but not least, Master shows up, and it’s his student council president. And Master is… a girl too? What the fuck? Yo, it gets even better. That catgirl I mentioned above? It’s his homeroom teacher, i.e. yet another cute girl. Then at some point, one of Schwein’s real life friends finds out about the game, so she joins up too. Every goddamn person in Nishimura’s life is a girl. And they’re all hot.
Ah well… the show seems like a harem, but it’s technically not. Nishimura and Ako are pretty much a couple right from the get-go. At the moment, he’s even trying to confess his feelings to her, but the problem with Ako is that she puts the MMO before real life. So in her eyes, they’re already married; they’re already husband and wife. As a result, why should they bother dating in the real world? In fact, why bother going to school at all? Why bother even making friends? The girl also hates normies, by the way. A lot of the episodes revolve around Ako’s social ineptitude, and her friends’ attempt to drag the girl kicking and screaming out of her MMO bubble. There’s an amusing (or mortifying) conversation between our couple that relates to this. Nishimura would like his future wife to also work. Ako, on the other hand, wants to be a housewife so she can continue playing MMOs even as an adult. So basically, Ako would be a hikikomori if not for her guild. She even has a fridge in her room so she doesn’t have to leave so often.
Last but not least — and I’m not sure if I should give the show any credit for this or not — the girl actually has sexual desires. At one point, Nishimura opens Ako’s bedroom door and sees the girl in her underwear. Like most anime protagonists, he slams the door shut with embarrassment. When she tells him that it’s safe to open the door again, he ends up finding her naked. She was ready to get down. At a later point in the anime, it’s her turn to walk in on him. She proceeds to stand there and gawk at the naked Nishimura and all his glory. One of their friends ends up having to drag the girl away. Of course, anime girls wanting to bang the male protagonist isn’t exactly new or anything. But most ecchi shows usually involve a dumb gimmick like, “Oh, I’m a succubus/demon/witch and I need your seed to be powerful.” Here, Ako and Nishimura are just two regular high school kids, and at least one of them has regular high school hormones. I kinda like the fact that the heroine isn’t some shy Japanese maiden who just wants to hold hand and cuddle. Yeah, looking at you, Ore Monogatari. Still, like I said, I don’t know if Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta deserves any credit for this or not. After all, we just saw Iyo try and throw herself at Eiji in this week’s episode of Big Order.
This week’s episode is basically your obligatory beach episode. The thought process here is that if Ako’s friends can convince her that life in the real world can be fun, then she won’t try to avoid it all the time. One thing leads to another, and everyone still finds themselves playing the MMO. Ako even finally convinces Nishimura to visit an in-game hotel room. In other words, it’s prime time for some hot and steamy cybering. Unfortunately, Nishimura’s account gets hacked at the most inopportune time, and now some stranger is about to cyber with his girl instead. Goddamn, netorare always shows up in these anime about MMOs.
Seisen Cerberus Ep. 8
Our heroes stop by some generic RPG town to rest and stock up on equipment. This entire section takes up half of the episode for no real reason. It’s really just as dull and unimaginative as it sounds. Eventually, the 300-year-old loli character attacks our heroes in the dead of night with some sort of shadowy creature she had gotten from Nambuuko. This new monster somehow swallows its victims through its shadow tentacles. You literally just start sinking into the shadows as if you’re standing in quicksand. Yeah, okay. Even Giruu can’t brute force his way out of this predicament. And with Hiiro now defenseless, the loli proceeds to stab the kid through the chest with some spiky tendril. Unfortunately for her, this merely awakens the Dagan Zot inside of him. As it turns out, Nambuuko doesn’t really care if Hiiro lives or dies. He just wants to bring out the evil dragon, so he can sell more weapons. Hiiro proceeds to go berserk and kills not only the shadowy monster, but possibly Giruu as well. Welp, can’t say I’ll miss him.
Not much to say about the episode. The animation is as terrible as always. Hiiro by himself is as worthless as always. On the other hand, if Giruu actually bites the dust, then Seisen Cerberus at least has the guts to kill off a semi-important character. I guess that counts for something.
Boy, these six shows sure were fun to watch, so why don’t we add one more?