Monday Blues: Spring ’16, Week 11

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Sorry for the late post. I hope it’s still Monday for some of you.

Big Order Ep. 9

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Iyo tries to bang Eiji, but he can’t get it up because he’s too busy thinking about his sister or something. Whatever. The details regarding his impotence aren’t particularly important. Also, it turns out he has false memories. He’s not the one who caused the Great Destruction. Rather, Sena was responsible for it. So why does Eiji think he’s the bad guy? Lemme guess… he took the fall for his precious imouto, right? Way to wimp out, Big Order.

In any case, Gennai wants to open the gate, because it’ll lead to a world where mental states take, uh, precedent? Basically, if you wish for something, it’ll come true. Eiji counters that this is a contradiction. After all, what happens if you have two opposite wishes? Daisy responds that a new universe would simply be created to accommodate both wishes. In fact, an infinite amount of universes will spawn as a result of opening the game. Hoo boy. How do I know the gate hasn’t already been opened, and the events I’m watching now are just someone’s wish being played out? I don’t! In fact, I’m not actually real and neither are you! Whoa man, we’re just part of a computer simulation!

Ahem. Next week’s episode should be the last, so tune in to watch Eiji crush everyone’s dreams.

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Endride Ep. 11

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Our RPG party must brave some boring, featureless dungeon in order to reach Babel. Legends have it that devils dwell in these four towers. Legends. In reality, we don’t get to see any cool demons or, well, anything cool at all. Nope, we just get to watch our heroes engage in some boring rock-climbing and maze-traversing. And when they reach the top, there’s a boss fight against the Delzaine-allied Zoozians. Hoo boy.

Our heroes slowly gain the upper-hand against their foes, so Louise is forced to reveal her true colors. She’s only betraying them, because she needs money for her family, guys. Don’t get on her case. In fact, I want her to kill Demetrio, because that dude is such a Gary Stu. He’s a great fighter even though he doesn’t have a Warp Relic. He’s an inspiring revolutionary, but at the same time, he’s confident that he can just negotiate with Delzaine without shedding a single drop of blood. He initially wanted revenge, but he quickly realized it was a bad idea. And oh yeah, he already knew Louise was selling them out to the enemy. Is there a single bad thing about this dude or what?

In the middle of all of this, Emilio slips away from the rest of the group, and finds himself face-to-face with Delzaine. The episode ends there. Gosh, I can’t wait to see what happens next.

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Gakusen Toshi Asterisk 2nd Season Ep. 11

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Julis’s brother wants Ayato to marry her. He may as well tie the knot now, or she’ll be pressured into an arranged marriage. Naturally, our couple is not thrilled to, well, become an official couple. Yo, I thought they were already an item. Dammit, Twitter is always lying to me. Julis’s brother also wants her to stay out of the next Festa. If her popularity keeps going up, then she’ll replace him as the ruler of their made-up European country. But wait, Jolbert claims he’s not actually being selfish in requesting this. Rather, if she becomes the ruler, she would just get frustrated with her inability to help the poor! Oh oniichan, you’re so thoughtful!

An emotional Julis runs off to that orphanage she loves so much. It’s supposed to be a safe space or something, but when Ayato notices and mentions a nearby greenhouse, the girl runs off yet again. This time, she spots a car driving by with Orphelia, a childhood friend of hers. What timing! I’m definitely paying attention to the anime, because when they started talking about Orphelia, I was like, “Who?” One thing leads to another, and Julis tries to break Orphelia’s badge. But what do you know? Yet another midget girl in this anime is the strongest fighter ever. Neither Ayato nor Julis is a match for this emotionless girl… for now.

The “special” effects for Orphelia’s powers are especially bad. They’re just one blurry purple mess. I guess if we call it “miasma,” we can phone it in. Next week’s episode is also gonna be this show’s last, so don’t feel too bad, A-1 Pictures. This is gonna be all over soon, and you guys can stop pretending to care about this ridiculous “war” that has long since lost its plot.

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Hundred Ep. 11

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Little Garden is in trouble! Killer bees! Core-less Savages also known as Replicants! Vitaly mind controls Krovanh and his two friends into helping her against their wishes! Oh no!

Yeah, there’s not much to say. There’s action, but that’s about it. Character development is at a standstill, and you can even say the same about the plot. I mean, technically, nothing really happens. Our characters are just “under attack” for 20-plus minutes. There aren’t even face-palming harem moments to mock.

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Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta. Ep. 10

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A school festival is coming up soon, so our club of MMO poopsockers would love to capture a fort and hoist a flag bearing their school’s insignia. This, however, will require our hodgepodge group to engage in PVP, which is a whole ‘nother world entirely. This is why I kinda have a soft spot for this anime. Yeah, it’s haremish in that the main character is surrounded by a bunch of cute girls, but at the same time, he has one and only one love interest: Ako. The other girls are nice to him, but they show no romantic interest in the guy whatsoever. Moreover, Nishimura is not some overpowered dork. He and the girls are PVE players, and they’re not even the best at that. So when it comes to PVP, they flat-out admit they’re not any good at it.

Well, Nishimura has some experience, but look, this is a far cry from most anime series about MMORPGs. We all know Kirito was one giant Gary Stu to end all Gary Stu. No need for me to elaborate there. And even though Log Horizon’s Shiroe wasn’t much of a fighter himself, he was nevertheless this brilliant tactician that all the girls had the hots for. He’s more a harem lead than Nishimura if you really think about it. In comparison, Nishimura’s Rusian is just an average MMORPG character. In fact, they get their asses kicked over and over in their PVP attempts this week. So much that the rich girl simply says fuck it, and hires a bunch of mercenaries to carry them in next week’s episode.

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Seisen Cerberus Ep. 11

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Erin’s cover is blown, but Giruu reasons that it won’t do them any good to kill her. As a result, they try to leave the catgirl behind. Geez, you guys are a bunch of softies. At least confiscate that fancy walkie-talkie in her possession or something. Or ask the girl for some monetary compensation. But nope, our heroes just go, “See ya!” They then try to cross the harsh, punishing desert without a proper map or any adequate amount of supplies. At one point, Palupa almost falls into an anime Sarlacc Pit. Thankfully, Erin has been following them this entire time, so she saves the guy-… uh, thing, whatever he is. I guess that makes up for everything she’s done. By the way, what’s with big-boobed demi-humans playing the role of the traitorous information trader this season?

Eventually, a sandstorm splits the group up into three. Hiiro is luckily paired with Saraato, his number one fan. The kid’s about to die from dehydration, so the girl strips naked and allows dew to collect on her cold, naked body. She then collects the water and pours it into our hero’s parched mouth. Man, what a waifu! Cold-blooded and resourceful! I expect her to turn into a dragon at any point now. Unfortunately, the 300-year-old loli (or however old she is) is now fused with some lion-ish creature, and she appears out of nowhere to kidnap Hiiro. Desperate to save her beloved husbando, Saraato bangs on an obsidian-like rock structure, and this calls forth a dragon that will presumably carry her and the rest of the group to Nambuuko’s stronghold.

As for Hiiro, he gets to have a nice, little chat with the evil arms broker himself. Nambuuko reveals that he was the one responsible for the death of our hero’s parents. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised…

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Where’s Boku no Hero Academia? You said you would blog it.

I hear you, buddy. That is a great observation. Boku no Hero Academia coverage — and I’ll even throw in Sousei no Onmyouji while I’m at it — will be included when we launch “Monday Blues Infinity, version 2.0.”

When will that be?


3 Replies to “Monday Blues: Spring ’16, Week 11”

  1. I’m impressed you’ve made it this far through Endride. I just couldn’t keep watching it because I couldn’t stand any of the characters in the show. While I had the same issue with Big Order, at least there is the crazy factor there to keep me watching.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on these shows. Hope you enjoy the next week of watcing.

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