Sanrio Danshi, Slow Start, and Pop Team Epic: A difficult choice between cheap plastic nonsense and memes

Slow Start - 0101

Here comes the rest of today’s shows. I’ll keep watching one of them for the rest of the season. Bet you can’t guess which one!

Sanrio Danshi Ep. 1

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Like a lot of second-year high school students, the main character is dissatisfied. Y’see, nothing has changed about his boring life even though he’s moved up one whole grade. Where’s this shining high school life he was promised! As a result, he feels unfulfilled. This same tired plot again, huh? Christ, what’s with all the Japanese kids going through their teenage crisis like their lives are over? His dad advises him to dedicate himself to a goal. The main character’s ennui will surely go away if he can be proud of an accomplishment. Clearly, hawking a bunch of cheap plastic mascots for Sanrio is the trick! But don’t be so cynical, my dear readers! He totally has an emotional reason for gravitating towards this specific brand!

Our sympathies are immediately bombarded by a flashback all about how he used to spend time with his late grandmother and a stuffed doll, but playground bullies made him push both of them away. She ends up dying before he could summon up the courage to see her one last time. Sorry, but some maudlin backstory isn’t going to work. He has two active parents, and neither of them could convince him to see her one last time? Right, sure. The episode is purposefully engineered with an emotional gut punch to engage the audience’s feels, but it doesn’t work for me. I find it cheap and manipulative. Really, someone should introduce him to those girls headed for Antarctica instead.

Anyway, the main character tries to return some cutesy keychain to a bishie playboy who goes to the same school, but he hesitates at the last second because he doesn’t want to ruin the guy’s reputation with the ladies. Needless to say, a true man wouldn’t be afraid to like whatever he wants to like. See, look at this manly dude and his love for Hello Kitty! Oh my God, gimme a brea–… holy fuck, the Titans came back! Screw this anime, I’ve got a failed Alex Smith comeback drive to watch. To make a long story short, six minutes into the first episode and I’ve already forgotten everyone’s names. These are very wholesome boys, and as a result, they are very boring boys.

Slow Start Ep. 1

I kept glancing at the Titans-Chiefs game, and before I knew it, the episode was already more than half over. Even worse, I had no idea what was going on. Everything just kinda went in one ear and came out the other. Yeah, I’m gonna stop pretending that I care. Moving along…

Pop Team Epic Ep. 1

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I kinda like it, but the show is pretty much an exercise in throwing as many memes and references at the wall as you can in the hopes that a few sticks. There are maybe two minutes of genuinely-laugh-out-loud jokes out of the entire thing. Everything else gets maybe a smirk at best. Also, I liked the first set of voices better. If they do this again next week, I’m not gonna bother watching it twice.

Welp, time to go watch that terrible Insidious movie. Wait, the Rams game. Nevermind. See you guys tomorrow for more bad or forgettable anime. Hell, why not both!

Please refrain from posting spoilers or using derogatory language. Basically, don't be an asshole.

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