Killing Bites Ep. 1: Honey badger don’t care

Well, this is off to a hot start. It’s Friday, I’m tired, and I have a ton of shows to watch. As a result, I’m going to write up this post in the laziest way possible. Plus, this show doesn’t really deserve better treatment.

Welp, it got even worse.

‘Cause you suck, dude. He should’ve stopped the car the instant the girl got kidnapped. Sure, he stops the car later on, but you don’t get points for doing the bare minimum. Also, can I just say something? I’m noticing a disturbing trend lately in which certain people come out and apologize for their disgusting behavior, and we all start applauding them for being courageous. For example:

“Although it pains to hear about this, I am proud he is attempting to own, recognize, and correct the behavior.”

Give me a fucking break. Big kudos for getting your story out before your victim had to do it for you. Yeah, yeah, this has nothing to do with this anime, but it’s been bugging me all day. Anyways…

But as it turns out, these wannabe rapists picked on the wrong girl. Our victim is actually a theri-…theriano… ah whatever! She’s got dem mean honey badger genes in her, alright? So she quickly kills her attackers and commands the driver to take her to some dump…

…full of dead bodies. Look, I don’t want to get too bogged down with the details. This is obviously a trashy anime full of blood and fanservice.

Basically, gene therapy has allowed humans to imbue themselves with animal powers, and rich people spend big bucks to bet on barbaric death matches between said human-animal hybrids.

Rich people belonging to secret Japanese business conglomerates! Oooooooohhhh~! For some reason, our girl wants to become a fighter, but she needs someone to bet on her.

This is where the pathetic rapist accomplice comes in.

Her first foe is a dude who goes full lion.

Notice, however, that female fighters get to retain much of their human appearance… y’know, the parts that you can fap to.

So a fight ensues. You might be wondering how a honey badger can even stand up to a lion. Well, y’see…

…how do you even measure fearlessness in an animal? Whatever. The girl wins because she’s the main character and she’s hot.

The underdog managed to beat insurmountable odds? This has never happened in fiction before!

Um… could you not?

The following day, the rapist accomplice wakes up to finish the job, huehuehue. After all, she might have some animal in her, but she’s…

Lemme repeat, this is no honey badger. You need not put away your dick.

Continue fapping to your heart’s content.

And who knows…? One day, she might even be deredere for you too! But you’re gonna have to work at it! Level up your social link! Buy her stuff!

He was!

And yet, our rapist accomplice is rewarded with a hundred million yen. Nope, you didn’t read that wrong. The honey badger’s guardian simply walks up and hands the guy a suitcase full of money. To nobody’s surprise, the rapist accomplice will no longer be able to return to his pathetic normal life. Nope, he’ll continue to be the honey badger’s sole investor. As such, she has to protect his life at all costs.

Yeah, that’s definitely what an adult should say. Yep.

Eventually, a woman flashes him because… uh… reasons.

Naturally, the guy suffers a nose bleed, but it’s not a conventional one! Oh no, a porcupine woman is after his life! Honey badger, where are you! And that’s the end of the episode.

I dunno, you guys… I don’t think I should continue covering this show. Do I even have readers who want me to? Am I going to regret asking this question?

10 thoughts on “Killing Bites Ep. 1: Honey badger don’t care

  1. sonicsenryaku

    Back in the day you would follow at least one series that you’d unequivocally tear into weekly; maybe killing bites can be that show for you this winter season

  2. Jz

    It’s garbage, but wasn’t that always your most popular stuff? I’ll admit I wouldn’t mind reading your reaction to it but that’s less because I care about the show and more because it’s fun watching you tear trash to pieces. There’s no need to put yourself through something horrible and burn out quickly.

  3. Pierre

    Most tormenting watching choice of this season…
    I like well-drawn girls, the fight was not too bad, and some moments were amusing…
    But the monster-girl + fighting club themes seem to be starting on a trite and dull note…
    The three-episodes rule might apply? The three-posts rule sure does ;-)

  4. ceniotnaram

    I just want to see if she’ll have the anal gland stink attack. That the sort of thing Japan would try to make look cute


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