Gakuen Babysitters Ep. 5: Two silly fantasies

We get two rather inconsequential stories in this week’s episode. First up, Inui, a second year student, shows up looking for the baby. He claims that Midori is his future daughter, so he may as well start getting to know her. Considering how he can’t even handle a little baby poop, however, he’s way out of his depth. Plus, he’s going after his own teacher?

Hmmm, not in the eyes of the law, buddy. According to Yoshihito, Midori’s father is an archaeologist currently overseas. Y’know, the only times I ever hear about archaeologists are when I watch Indiana Jones or anime. What’s up with that? I suppose this is one way to remove a parent from the picture.

For some reason, Ryuichi then wonders if Midori’s mom is possibly cheating with Inui. I’m flabbergasted. Why would you even jump to this conclusion? Are you stupid?

He starts asking people what they think of adultery. Naturally, too-cool-for-school Hayato thinks it’s nobody’s business and doesn’t particularly care to get involved in other people’s affairs. Ryuichi then begins to wonder if he’s just being naive. After all, he’s never even been in love before. He starts staring at Yuki, because most guys consider her cute.

But he coldly thinks to himself that he doesn’t feel “particularly attracted” to her. Damn, man. Then again, I don’t go for meek types like Yuki either.

Not that Maria’s much better. Ryuichi asks the irritable girl if she’s ever been in love before. Pfft, I’m sure she already has a crush on Ryuichi already. Anyways, it’s about time we wrap up this silly side story. After all, Inui’s not particularly important in the grand scheme of things, and his story isn’t very meaningful either. Okay, so he’s in love with a teacher… what about it?

We eventually stand idly by as Inui awkwardly tries to confess his feelings to Midori’s mom. It’s a slow-motion train wreck unfolding before our very eyes. He mistakenly believes that her husband is dead, and this is why he wants to help her out or whatever. Everyone’s just too pure-hearted in this anime. Stupid, but pure-hearted. But he soon learns the truth about her husband — in fact, he’s coming back later today — and that’s all she wrote for the kid. Really, though, that’s just the end of the side story. Ryuichi consoles Inui by saying that he thought the latter looked really cool in the moment, but eh… this is all inconsequential.

In the second half of the episode, Taka and Kirin are having a little spat because Taka’s a brat. What’s new, right? Well, it can’t be helped when you have Hayato to look up to.

But more specifically, these two are fighting because Kirin no longer wants to be a Power Ranger. Instead, she’s currently enamored with witches. Not those ugly, mean witches like the ones in The Witch, that well-regarded 2015 horror movie. Nah, we’re talking about cute, wholesome Japanese witches like Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service and Akko from Little Witch Academia. I’d rather be a witch than a Power Ranger, too.

The following day, Taka offers “evidence” for the existence of Power Rangers…

…so Kirin tries her best to fly on a broomstick. Unfortunately, the little girl finds that she has about as much aptitude for magic as Akko. Jury’s still out on who’s cuter.

The always sensible Hayato suggests that they should just outright tell the little girl that witches aren’t real. I mean, you could do that… but then to be fair and equal to both sides, you would also need to tell your brother that Power Rangers aren’t real either. Wait, Hayato probably already does that every night. Hell, he probably tells his own brother that he isn’t real right before hitting the kid on the head.

Maria suggests turning to history to convince Kirin that witches are real, but Ryuichi is afraid that this might scare the kids. Hey, you never know… the little girl might find the occult cool and awesome. I know I would’ve. I loved reading ghost stories as a kid. Anyways, I honestly thought Ryuichi would try to convince Maria to dress up like a witch just to play pretend with Kirin. He even considers asking the chairwoman to help out, but he quickly moves on from the idea because she’d (likely) just yell at him.

Hm, do you think Studio Ghibli would’ve sued these guys if they had used Kiki’s Delivery Service instead?

Anyways, back at the club, Yoshihito is being his usual responsible self. Famous last words, right? How is this guy still employed…

Needless to say, Kirin attempts the impossible, and Ryuichi ends up having to make a heroic dive. If he had been just a little slower getting back from class, we’d have a dead kid on our hands.

I still think landing on a guy’s back would hurt the girl, but we’re in anime logic right now, so Kirin is just broken-hearted that she can’t fly.

But then the chairwoman shows up to save the day. She looks so ridiculous, anyone would think she’s a witch.

So all’s well that ends well. Like I said, this episode is largely inconsequential. We got two silly, childish fantasies. One got crushed, and the other lives on to be crushed later. Nah, I’m just kidding about the last part. Witches are cool. I kinda wanna rewatch Little Witch Academia now. Anyways, to wrap this post up, there is hardly any character development or plot progression in this week’s episode. Gakuen Babysitters continues to be babysitting and childcare without any of the interesting human drama.

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