What I Watched Today: naked dogfighting, 3DPD, and My Little Anime Ponies

In the first episode of Uchuu Senkan Tiramisu, a space mecha pilot with inverted nipples attempts to enjoy a nice, peaceful lunch in the cockpit of his mecha. Unfortunately, things quickly go awry. In the second half of short episode, Subaru had to quickly jump into battle shortly after showering. In the midst of combat, he finds it difficult to breathe. Is his oxygen running low?! No, it’s not! What could it be? Egads, he put his shirt on backwards! One thing leads to another, and Subaru eventually finds himself butt naked in his cockpit. Is this show already a candidate for anime of the season? I think so! Maybe even anime of the year!

I wish I could say the same about Souten no Ken Re-Genesis, but I should’ve known better. After all, this is a sequel to a series that had embarrassingly bad animation. It’s not that 3-D animation is inherently bad, but it’s just almost never executed well. Houseki no Kuni looked good, but here? Everyone looks stiff because they all have such a low number of animation frames. Not only that, you have lazy nonsense like this:

No, that is not a screen tear. That is the result of a character chopping people literally in half with his fearsome moves. The biggest problem with the show, however, is that I just kept nodding off during the story scenes. When people weren’t fighting, I could barely stay awake. This sequel makes no effort whatsoever to catch the viewer up. If you haven’t seen the 2006 series (simply named Souten no Ken), then good fucking luck. Everyone’s after a catalog of books for some reason. A blonde girl is also related to said books for some reason. Most of all, the Germans are after them for some reason. An important character by the name of Guise bites the dust early on, so this sets up an epic clash between the main character and the guy who has to protect the little girl:

It doesn’t look so bad when they’re not moving, huh? Unfortunately, I can’t stop laughing at the fact that soldiers eventually showed up and opened fire on the little girl. I get that this is an adaptation for diehard fans (if they would even like this sort of shoddy animation), but c’mon… when the original aired over ten years ago, you’d think they’d try a little harder to court viewers completely unfamiliar with the backstory. But what’s done is done, and I don’t think I’m gonna bother with another episode of this show.

Bakana! Anyways, I’ve always been told that girls who like horses are crazy. So what about horse girls? Are they extra crazy? But seriously, I simply don’t know how something like Uma Musume – Pretty Derby even comes about. It’s apparently based on a mobile game, but is the game even out yet? It has idols… but anime is already saturated with idol-related nonsense. So it’s a show about idols… who are also horse girls that race in derbies. Talk about pulling double duty. But the most important question is… why? This show might be fun if it poked fun at its own concept, but from what I can tell, the first two episodes play it pretty straight. Straight out of the boonies, our heroine Special Week is a bit of an air-head, but her natural talent for running and plucky attitude quickly turn heads. Predictably enough, she has a senpai in Silence Suzuka to look up to… sorry, I just find myself nodding off for the second time today. The only potentially cool thing about Special Week is that she claims to have two moms… but it’s not really awesome in that sort of way that you’re thinking. She simply had a birth mother and someone who raised her.

P.A. Works isn’t my favorite studio, but they usually put out above average animation. It’s such a pity that they’re wasting their efforts on this super niche concept. I’d gladly take another mediocre Hanasaku Iroha over this and fest it up in the streets. Hell, I’d even take another Glasslip–…. well, maybe not. Point is, this is the first and last time you’ll find me talking about this show. There just isn’t enough plot to keep me interested. Interpret that as you will.

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5 Replies to “What I Watched Today: naked dogfighting, 3DPD, and My Little Anime Ponies”

  1. Speaking about Glasslip…the existence of that anime still confuses the hell out of me, like what the story supposed to be about, or why they want to make this anime? I read one reviewer who said that it embodies the mono no aware of Japanese aesthetics….I couldn’t get it though.

    1. Mono no aware, huh? That may very well be true, but it still doesn’t make the anime any good. But I don’t remember much about its plot anymore. I just remember the characters being overly dramatic.

    2. If embodying some philosophy automatically made thing good, the works of Ayn Rand shouldn’t be painful to read. I salute those people who can read those abominations until the very end.

  2. Uma musume is the result of the current Japanese media production method of throwing everything on the screen. One of them is going to stick, right? It can be the cute girl part, the idol part, or the horse girl part, or whatever. This is the same method that is used on those harem anime taken to a whole new level.

    “This show might be fun if it poked fun at its own concept, but from what I can tell, the first two episodes play it pretty straight.”

    There is no way that this animu is going to poke fun at itself. Uma musume is made to promote a mobile game. Yes, uma musume is a mobile game. And there is no way that it’s going to insult the game and risk the anger of its producer and fans. And even if somehow it did do that, it’s going to be one of those extremely light jabs, so the anime and its creators can pretend to be chill enough to mock itself without actually doing it at all.

    As for the other two, Uchuu Senkan Tiramisu seems to be a lame one-trick pony, but at least it’s refreshing to see a naked dude rather than a naked chick I guess. Souten no Ken is so half-heartedly made for something that is meant for hardcore fans. It sucks.

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