They had sex?! Period sex too?!
Phew, turns out it was just a dream! Lately, Tsukasa just can’t stop having hot sexy dreams about sleeping with a vampire! God, how embarrassing!
Tsukasa has even been spacing out in class. By the way, I didn’t know professors still called on college kids and had them read out loud in class. I thought that ended after high school. And why are the subs in the middle of the screen?
Anyways, because Akimura is a vampire, his arrest doesn’t end up in the news. In fact, his disappearance is attributed to him fucking off to Canada of all places. As a result, Tsukasa can’t help but wonder if she had imagined everything… especially the tongue.
We flashback to last week’s episode, and Anzai had started to undress the girl. Luckily for her, he sedated himself before he could, y’know, go any further.
And yet, it didn’t look as though the girl would’ve stopped him had he not shot himself up. I swear, vampire stories always manage to cook up the weirdest characters. All the dudes are rapey, and all the girls want it… as long as the dudes are vampires. But if you’re just a plain ol’ human, ugh, get your non-vampire dick away from me!
Magically, Anzai turned into a bishie after tasting Tsukasa’s blood.
Yeah, sorry for slipping you the tongue!
And don’t get too worked up on that serial killer friend of yours!
Nah, it’s gotta be the tongue.
So the flashback is over, and Tsukasa starts thinking about her friend. Yeah, I get it… they had known each other for years. But still, he did kinda rape and kill three women. Afterwards, she starts to think about Anzai some more.
Of course it was her first kiss. It always is.
Yeah, me too! I could go for some fresh air, though. Let’s pull back this inconspicuous curtain!
Wait, he’s the one who got scared? What the fuck is he doing on her balcony? Why are modern vampires so obsessed with balconies?
He then pretty much admits that he’s been stalking her, but does that bother Tsukasa one bit? Nooooope.
She just feels guilty that she hasn’t been thinking about her rapey, killy friend enough!
Anzai suddenly starts negging her… while standing on her balcony… after stalking her for the past few weeks.
And that is what sets her off. Him pinning her against the wall and slipping her the tongue in last week’s episode didn’t make her mad. Him randomly showing up on her balcony didn’t make her mad. But telling her to get a little thicc? OOOOOOOH!
Anzai eventually has to fuck off for some official police work, but he magically drops his wallet somehow.
As a result, the girl runs all the way to the scene of the crime. She even sees cop cars outside the building.
She then even climbs the building. How was the place not quarantined?! What are the cop cars for if some rando girl can just get onto the premises!
So we have some sob story where this girl went nuts and killed her husband.
She didn’t want to, but the husband cut himself then offered his blood up to her. The next thing she knew, she had gutted him and drunk his blood. Wew lads.
Wait, devil are the official term for vampires? I thought it was just a metaphor. In fact, I thought vampire was the official term for vampires!
Tsukasa later slips away unnoticed… except by Anzai, of course. Nothing she does goes unnoticed by him. As a result, he later pays her a visit by creepily staring at her from the balcony again.
But then he realizes that she just wanted to return his wallet, so now we have this romantic moment out of nowhere as a gentle breeze lovingly caresses their hair!
Nevertheless, he feels the need to warn her that vampires are always on the verge of snapping, so you can’t just offer up a cut finger to them. Anzai goes even further and says the following:
BUT YOU PUSHED HER
Afterwards, Anzai hangs out with his cop buddies at a bar and hears the good news! Yes, sex between humans and vampires is legal now! But wait, there’s more!
You need to pay some poor doctor to watch you guys fuck!
Anyways, Anzai continues to regularly visit Tsukasa through her balcony. Why? Shrug. In fact, she keeps trying to offer him stuff. Want a kotatsu? Want some nabe? Why can’t we just talk? And yet, she won’t ask the simplest question: why is he even here?
They’re supposed to meet up later so he can carry the groceries. Unfortunately, when she went to return a book that she had borrowed from her professor, the latter starts acting all creepy.
Really? The professor is a rapist too?
Don’t drink that! It might be roofied!
OH GOD HE IS A RAPIST
NOT THE TONGUE AGAIN
Fondling her breasts like he’s poring over a dissertation!
That’s an audible “No!” from the girl, folks. You all heard it! This is important, because after she tries to smash his head in with a mug, this is what he tells her:
OH COME ON
SO THEN HE STARTS UP AGAIN. I NEED
AN ADULT A VAMPIRE
Well, all you had to do was say the magic words and a vampire will appear right outside your window.
Anzai proceeds to beat the professor within an inch of the guy’s life.
He then holds Tsukasa’s… head? Afterwards, Anzai makes his escape, because even though he’s just a cop trying to stop a rapist in his tracks, he’s not allowed to rage out as a vampire. Oh well.
When he returns home, he discovers that he had gotten Tsukasa’s blood on one of his hands. Yeah, wash it off. You wouldn’t wanna feel any temptation. You wouldn’t want to sin in the eyes of the Lord!
Wash it good, vampire cop! Wash it with your tongue!
Wait, why are you taking your belt off? Are you gonna wash it with your dick?! Why’s it gotta be like this!
Rest assured, the professor has been “dismissed.” Not jailed or anything like that. Just dismissed.
But now, the poor girl is having sex dreams about him. Therapy, girl. You need therapy.
But instead of therapy, Tsukasa can’t help but wonder where Anzai might have disappeared to…
OH NO GODDAMMIT VAMPIRES WHO JERK IT TO YOUR BLOOD ARE NOT THERAPISTS
Let’s sneak into her room and smell the bony girl while she sleeps!
She scared him again! Can’t a grown man sneak into a woman’s apartment in the middle of the night through her balcony without being scared? What has this country come to?
Gee, I wonder why that’d be the case! She’s only been slipped the tongue twice and nearly raped! Look at her thousand yard stare.
And yet… Tsukasa’s not afraid of Anzai. See, there’s a good way and a bad way to slip your tongue into a girl’s mouth. If you’re a sexy vampire with bags under your eyes, you’re good to go! If you’re a lame-o professor, then it’s a no go!
But when she tells him that she’s been having nightmares (about her rapey professor), he pulls her out of the covers and holds her close to him.
Being hugged by a vampire is such a religious experience!
And with that, our episode comes to an end. This episode really gave me a good laugh. Phew. I really needed this. Boy, I can’t wait to see what happens next!