Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online Ep. 7: Another useless loli

The only thing worse than watching a loli is watching two of them. 

— So yeah, Miyu magically lucks into a rare GGO avatar as well. Funny how that works. It’s such a shame, too. I actually think her character looks cute in the real world (I like glasses). In GGO, she’s just another generic loli with straight bangs.

— She also has a ton of strength. For some reason, however, this competitive FPS game has a luck stat. Also, she based her name off of her dog. That’s cute, I guess. I’m still gonna stick with Miyu, though.

— The girls need money to gear Miyu up. Luckily, M is happy to fund their team. If he’s willing to help them out like this, I don’t know why he won’t just help them take down Pito in the next Squad Jam, but it doesn’t matter.

— Heh, just wait until you meet the guy.

— Ugh, I’m watching two lolis go shopping for guns. At least nobody wants to wield a sword like Kirito. In fact, no one even goes near a melee weapon. I guess that was just a one time only special for Kirito.

— Did this dude really roll an avatar with missing teeth? That sucks.

— Miyu ends up drooling over this grenade launcher without actually knowing what it is. No, really, she has apparently never heard of one until now. Don’t worry, though. She still learns how to use them in no time flat. Yep, them. She ends up buying two of them, because who doesn’t like to dual wield? Maybe she ran into Kirito in ALO.

— Wow, for some reason, I thought the grenade launchers would look a little more intimidating. These look hilariously pathetic. I mean, they’re probably scaled down to fit in her tiny loli hands, but holy shit, they look really funny to me for some reason.

— You don’t have a true friendship if your buddy doesn’t start shooting at you.

— Blah blah blah, more lolis even though they’re technically in high school.

— We also have some unnamed jobbers. They look like they’re about to get fucked by that monster penis in the back.

— There’s no deeper meaning to this screenshot. I just thought it looked comical so I took a screenshot.

— No, no, noooooo… don’t explain the rules to Squad Jam again. Sigh.

— Yeah, I’m gonna call bullshit on that.

— As you can probably tell, there isn’t a whole lot of analysis to offer. After all, Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online doesn’t have much of a plot. It’s just a stupid “cute girls playing with guns” anime. It tries to raise the stakes by claiming that Pito will kill herself unless she wins the whole thing or Karen personally kills her, but that’s just dumb. It’s not even remotely believable. But even if this is true, it’s still not very compelling as a plot. I have very little reason to care about Pito. Sure, she’s one of Karen’s only friends, but that doesn’t mean anything to the audience. It’s not that I want Pito to kill herself. Rather, since I don’t care for her, I’d rather just call her bluff.

— Nine pints of ice cream? Why not just save time and grab a giant tub instead? What a mad lass.

— Now she’s eating another one! A girl after my own heart!

— Predictably enough, the ice cream ends up wreaking havoc in Miyu’s digestive system.

— Uh, TMI

— So the show introduces us to the other teams participating in the second Squad Jam. We have these boring looking dudes.

— And of course, the high school gymnastics team is here.

— M finally enters with a brigade of guys with helmets to conceal their faces. Odd, but whatever. Maybe they’re “mercs.”

— The anime really wants to play Pito up as some sort of villain. She apparently isn’t a team player, she doesn’t hesitate to team-kill, blah blah blah. But unlike the main series, no one is really in danger of dying in this spinoff. Yeah, yeah, Pito’s gonna kill herself, but again, I don’t believe it for a second. Anyways, my point is that the attempt to portray the girl as some unhinged psycho just falls flat.

— God, this is so over-the-top. Oh no, she named herself after a poisonous bird. How scary.

— There’s a team with one girl and four guys. She looks unhappy.

— Finally, our heroines arrive fashionably late. Karen is popular for obvious reasons. I wonder if anyone finds it odd that she managed to team up with the only other loli that we’ve ever seen in GGO. I mean, I don’t recall seeing one during Kirito’s exploits either.

— Apparently, Miyu smells digitally like a girl. Maybe the AmuSphere also collects your scent. Sounds bad, but at least it doesn’t kill you anymore!

— Ah, the real reason why Karen and Miyu are lolis: whenever Pito walks up to them, our line of sight is set to the right level.

— Pito has no clue what Karen is talking about. Maybe she’s forgotten all about their promise. Or maybe M’s story is just full of shit, because he’s kind of unhinged himself. Shrug.

— Oh no, they nerfed one of Karen’s main strategies.

— Miyu has also named her guns, but nothing beats P-chan. The best memes from this spinoff all involve P-chan. Anyways, that about does it for this week’s episode. I’m kinda surprised that the second Squad Jam is already upon us. I thought they’d spend at least another episode getting Miyu up to speed on the game, but I guess she already knows how to play the game well enough to not be a hindrance. Since Karen only has to kill Pito, she might not actually win this tournament. I’m thinking maybe second or third place. As long as she accomplishes her main objective, everything else is just gravy.

— Luckily, this is only a one-cour series. Could you imagine another season of Squad Jam nonsense? That would be so tiring. If we never see another sequel to Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, that’s perfectly fine with me.

3 thoughts on “Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online Ep. 7: Another useless loli

  1. Anon

    SAO is so big it’s gonna become like Fate with 16 spinoffs, or Mug Luv with half that and counting. We already have a few SAO games, and they can make a moe + loli alternative for the next world Kirito goes into. Kirito visited 4 worlds, so that 4 alternatives assuming author doesn’t someday play a Chinese MMO and decide to write a sequel.

  2. Anonymous

    As I expected last week took me 13 seconds to be pissed as I discovered the new loli.
    Still the most entertaining about the episode was your article so I say thank you Sean.


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