Caligula Ep. 8: A useless episode about Ike-P

I’m really not feeling it. Not only am I dealing with a cold, this is probably the worst episode of Caligula yet. Just don’t expect this post to very good. I’m tired, but I really wanna stick to my schedule. As a result, I’m going try and write this up. Last week’s episode was all about what our heroes have been doing since Mu starting sleeping, right? Well, this week’s episode puts the spotlight on the bad guys instead. Unfortunately, it’s just so mind-numbingly stupid.

— We’re actually going a week before the previous episode. Mu is, of course, still asleep, and the Musicians can’t seem to do anything without Mu, so all they do is complain. Mirei’s theme park is still a huge mess. Sweet-P can’t indulge herself (himself?) in sweets. And last but very least, Ike-P’s popularity is waning. Oh no. How terrible. Well, he’s supposedly the hottest dude in Mobius. Unfortunately, Izuru is quickly catching up, which pisses him off. I know, this is such a compelling subplot.

— Y’see, he’s really popular with the ladies and… yeah, that’s it.

— Do girls in Japan really go up to a hot dude and offer him random food?

— We also kinda see why Kagi-P decided to defect to the Go Home Club. Not really. All he did was have a conversation with Ritsu. He wanted to understand what motivates the main character since the latter doesn’t seem to remember anything about his past. Ritsu gives a rather generic answer about how this world just isn’t right, so that’s that. Also, he wants to help his nakama. Sigh.

— There’s an incident in a clothing store that triggers Ike-P’s memories. I guess he’s an ugly dude, and everyone laughed at him in the real world. Sure, whatever. If this story is supposed to be as good as Persona 2, this adaptation is bungling it reaaaaaaal hard. The developers of the game should be pissed about this, but they’re probably grateful to have an anime tie-in at all.

— We just see nonsense like how Ike-P is slowly losing his fans. It’s boring stuff.

— We’re right back to the hot pot nonsense. We haven’t quite caught up to the present, but we’re almost there! Almost. Ugh.

— Even though we’re technically seeing new stuff — again, this week’s story focuses primarily from the villains’ perspective — this episode still feels like a retread. The hot pot rearing its ugly head again simply serves to seal the deal.

— Eventually, Ike-P comes in second. Oh no. Please. Won’t anybody think of Ike-P and his feelings?

— And, uh, I guess things are getting worse for the rest of the Musicians. For instance, without Mu’s powers, Sweet-P is slowly gaining weight. Similarly, none of Mirei’s credit cards will work, so she’s in despair. My head is already throbbing with a headache from my cold, and Caligula is making it worse. Villains don’t have to be sympathetic, so it’s not necessarily a problem that I can’t stand the Musicians. After alol, they’re the bad guys, so I’m supposed to not like them. But c’mon, these scenes are so fucking vacuous. She’s too “fat” for a shirt? That’s what you decided to devote this episode to? I’d rather not know! Of all of the things you could’ve left out of this adaptation, why not this bullshit? I feel like my brain matter is slowly leaking out of my ears right now.

— Eventually, the Musicians gather together to have their little group therapy sessions. Basically, they just bitch at Thorn, because they can’t take advantage of Mu’s powers. Their lives are so shit, and they’re so powerless to do anything about it that they solely depend on a terrible idol for everything.

— Ike-P finally loses all of his fans to Izuru, but the latter frankly couldn’t care less. This just pisses Ike-P off even more, so we get ourselves a half-assed fight scene.

— The plot twist here is that Izuru is actually hot in the real world, and this revelation boggles Ike-P’s mind. He can’t wrap his head around the fact that an attractive person might actually be unhappy. So to prove his point, Izuru starts cutting his own face with a broken shard of glass. The scars, however, disappear almost instantly. Apparently, the guy felt like he had no identity in the real world. People just loved him for his looks. As a result, he scarred his face, but his unhappiness still remained. At some point, he got stuck in Mobius, and Mu being the dumb idiot that she is, she completely misunderstood the root of Izuru’s problems. She thought that if she just made his scars always disappear, he would be happy. Welp.

— Ike-P breaks down and cries, but his opponent just walks away. After all, he needs to get meatballs… for that hot pot. Sigh. The bad guy could’ve kept fighting, but nah. He leaves to reunite with the rest of the Musicians as they await Mu’s awakening. With her back in the fold, I guess they can finally take it to the Go Home Club. Without her, all they can do is sit on their asses for an entire month and twiddle their thumbs. I’m glad we devoted an entire episode to establish that very fact.

— And we’re right back to the present. Yay.

— Good, I’m done. Time to pound back the Nyquil.

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