Ughhhhhh. 

— Right off the bat, Karen is about to lose her life to MMTM. Luckily, Eve saves her hide then proceeds to propose a duel. Unfortunately, our heroine has bigger fish to fry. She’s a bit reluctant to explain why, though. I like how Miyu just comes out and spills the beans. After all, what’s the big deal? Why do we need to hide this from Eve and the rest of SHINC? I can’t say I particularly like her in general, but Miyu would probably be my favorite character if I had to pick one. Her eating so much ice cream that she got the runs right before the tournament is still funny to me.

— Anyways, something apparently happened to this green-haired girl. I can’t recall at all if the show has ever given us her name, but no matter. Her squad tried to team up with PM4, but Pito turns it down. Not only that, she shoots them all in the back as they tried to walk away. Basically, the girl has no honor. The green-haired girl is the only member of KKHC to get away. At the end of the day, however, this is just a stupid game — a battle royale, at that — so this response is a bit of an overreaction. They tried to negotiate a ceasefire in a battle royale. How stupid can they be?

— Apparently, the green-haired girl doesn’t like shooting people. Yeah, that’s right. Dude, if you don’t like shooting people, why are you playing GGO? In fact, why did you agree to participate in a tournament you need to kill people?

— Man, I’ve been staring at cartoon booty all day. Unfortunately, it’s anime, so you either get underwhelming or Bayonetta. There’s no middle ground.

— We get a brief update on the status of the tournament. These jobbers are dead. These ugly robot-wannabes, however, are still alive. For some reason, they get around the map on bikes…

— But enough about that. It’s time for the main attraction. PM4 notices that SHINC is going right for them. For some reason, Eve is now dead set on attacking Pito and M head on. I wonder what Karen and Miyu had told her. I would think it’s immensely stupid to walk right into a bunch of enemies armed with sniper rifles. Not only that, they have relatively little cover in this grassy field. But y’know, maybe SHINC isn’t planning to win this Squad Jam.

— These players are too serious in their comms. They talk as if they belong to a pro team and money is on the line.

— Oof, good thing this isn’t SAO.

— M has a badass shield, right? Unfortunately, no shield is as good as a meatshield. One girl sacrifices herself just to protect the team’s dedicated sniper, and this time, she’s armed with an anti-tank rifle. Man, high school gymnasts sure are nasty!

— Haven’t we seen this before?

— In the end, M loses not only his shield but his rifle as well.

— And that’s when Karen finally decides to come out of hiding. It turns out she and SHINC have decided to work together. I don’t know why they’re taking Pito’s threat of death so seriously, but I guess we wouldn’t have a story if they didn’t.

— It isn’t?!

— Unfortunately, everyone is hellbent on ruining Karen’s golden moment. The green-haired girl from earlier has Pito right in her sights, and…

— …nice.

— Yeah, games are supposed to be fun.

— Karen immediately avenges Pito, but is it too late?!

— M desperately tries to save Pito, but c’mon, it’s a headshot. Who survives a headshot in these types of games? It’s supposed to be a semi-realistic shooter, right?

— Nevertheless, Pito is still alive. Not only that, she’s slowly losing it. She somehow survives with just a sliver of health left. That is so dumb. But wait, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

— The girl continues to go out of her mind and eventually loses consciousness. She’s still connected to the game, though… so what does that mean? Is she also unconscious in real life? Or is she just staring at her unconscious avatar? Either way, one of the mercenaries wonder why she hasn’t been forcefully disconnected from the game yet. After all, the current model is supposed to detect your vitals and kick you off if something’s not right. Unless…

— …no! Don’t you even go there, anime! Don’t you eve-…!

— Holy shit, that would be so stupid if it’s true! It’s just basic compliance! Every VR game should just downright reject the NerveGear unless they are asking to be sued to hell and back (not to mention being called before a governing body to be interrogated on why they’re so fucking stupid).

— But let’s continue. M has no choice but to carry Pito away from the battlefield and take cover in a nearby log cabin. For a moment, Karen wonders if it’s worth killing Pito when she’s already in critical condition. After hearing some positive words from both Miyu and Eve, however, our girl gets her killing intent back. That’s the spirit!

— But again, other assholes intend to get in the way. This time, MMTM wants to crash the party.

— Pito is still knocked out, and M fawns over her like a heartbroken lover.

— One of the mercenaries wants to know what Pito means to M, but the latter never answers the question. He just reiterates that he intends to mamoru the fuck out of the girl. Great.

— Nevertheless, the mercenaries do their job and go all out in their defense of Pito and M.

— This is so painfully dramatic.

— Hey, hey, bad touch, mister! Just because one of the mercenaries referred to Pito as Sleeping Beauty doesn’t mean you get to molest her VR avatar!

— All kidding aside, M looks like he was going to commit suicide with Pito by arming a grenade, but she wakes up and stops him at the last second.

— When MMTM reaches the top floor of the log cabin, they are suddenly and brutally eviscerated by a beam sword. Huh.

— Not only is Pito back, it looks like she wants to follow in the footsteps of her Lord and Savior Kirito. Oh boy. That’s cool and all, but we should remember…

Thank god for that.