Phantom in the Twilight Ep. 7: Kabocha-kun is the real bro

Rest in peace, lil’ buddy. May you come back to us on the 31st of October. 

Ton is finally reunited with Shinyao, but for how long? That’s the important question. I also like how the latter swears up and down that Chris had protected her. Protected her from what? He kidnapped her in the first place! I guess you could argue that Haysin would’ve kept going after her, but even then, there was no reason why he couldn’t have gotten help from the rest of our heroes. Instead, he had her sleeping in abandoned buildings and eating nothing but spaghetti carbonara.

— Anyways, Luke and Toryo are currently a bit tied up. Well, just one of them. The other one is frozen solid.

— I’m still rather tickled that Vlad, the direct descendant of Dracula, knows kung fu. Meanwhile, Van Helsing whips out this spear to fight his opponent. Back in my day, vampire hunters stuck to crossbows and wooden stakes!

— We soon cut to Ton and Shinyao literally managing to run away from their captors. You really mean to tell me that trained soldiers (mercenaries?) can’t outrun a pair of university students? They really need to work on their cardio, ’cause this is ridiculous.

— When we cut back to Vlad, it looks as though he has lost, but nope! He’s just fine. He even starts humiliating Van Helsing by calling the guy nothing more than a puppet. That’s how you unnerve a famous vampire hunter, by the way.

— We also see that both Luke and Toryo have broken free from their restraints. Apparently, Van Helsing can beat them, but none of his underlings can. Hm.

— Ton and her BFF aren’t quite ready to leave Snowmary just yet. Shinyao insists that they rescue Chris, because he did such a great job protecting her. Like his brother, however, he’s also a bit tied up.

— Wayne starts hacking into the intranet, and he is able to determined the girls’ best route to Chris. Unfortunately, he’s in the fourth basement floor. Meanwhile, they’re on the 85th floor. Geez, the tallest building in London only has 87 floors. Are they currently in The Shard?

— Wayne tries to return to Ton’s phone, but he soon finds himself trapped. Oh no, it’s the villain’s antivirus that… can somehow… trap ghosts… yeah…

— When my Norton Antivirus deletes a ghost, this is what it looks like.

— Just kidding, folks. Please don’t use Norton. It’s trash.

— I also love how the two girls are running and laughing as if they aren’t in a precarious situation — as if they aren’t running away from armed men. This gleeful running is also giving Ton magical red highlights. How lucky. I know getting highlights can cost way too much. Honestly, anything that makes you prettier always costs way too much.

— Luke manages to meet up with his brother. Meanwhile, Toryo is keeping the bad guys at bay with his gatling gun full of infinite bullets. Even though they’re in downtown London, the entire city doesn’t really seem to care that some major shit is going down.

— As for Vlad, he’s just giving Van Helsing a nice massage. The vampire hunter tells his opponent to finish him off, but the latter refuses. As long as Van Helsing never hurts another human, Vlad won’t hurt him in return. Y’know, that’s really goddamn silly. Why? Because Van Helsing is more than happy to kill Vlad. He’s also more than happy to kill Vlad’s Umbra buddies. Isn’t the entire point behind this story is that Umbras can coexist with humans? And don’t we believe this because we think Umbras are pretty much just like humans? By refusing to punish Van Helsing for his crimes, Vlad implicitly argues that Umbras are not equal to humans.

— Ah well, here’s a shot of the old man pathetically crying just because he’s been beaten by a vampire that knows kung fu. There’s no shame in that, bro. Jet Li is already badass, but imagine what he could do if he was also a bloodsucking freak!

— Ton’s repeated use of her magical abilities are taking its toll on her body. She also comes upon a room that is armed with laser guns. Really, laser guns.

— Luckily, the entire system goes down in flames thanks to… Wayne? I don’t think ghosts have demon wings. Apparently, if you try to hurt Wayne, an evil side of him comes out — a demonic, evil side of him. But before we know it, Wayne is back on Ton’s phone. So, uh, what happened to demonic Wayne?

— Anyways, Ton and Shinyao look like they’re home free when Haysin finally shows up. Hearing that his precious girl might be in danger, Chris literally starts climbing up the side of the skyscraper. It’s quite amazing. I wish my dog could run up walls.

— Ton tries to subdue Haysin, but the guy whips out a new and improved Jack the Ripper. I didn’t mention this last time (I don’t think), but I really hate the fact that Jack the Ripper is in this story. We’re in London and he’s a notorious historical figure in the city’s history, so this partly explains his presence. The thing, however, is that every other Umbra are made-up. Jack the Ripper existed, man. The authorities may never have caught him, but he wasn’t made up. Someone back then murdered scores of prostitute, so I hate the fact that he’s just a boogeyman in this dumb show.

— But enough about that. Jack the Ripper goes right for Shinyao, and both the girl and Kabocha-kun are knocked out a nearby window. Luckily, Chris is there to save her… and probably kidnap her once more. Poor girl’s never going to be able to attend a single class at this rate.

— Ton goes full rage mode on Haysin, but nothing pleases the dude more. He wants our heroine to awaken to her dormant powers. Why? Shrug. We’ll just have to wait and see.

— The girl eventually passes out from exhaustion, so Vlad conveniently shows up to catch her in his arms. It would’ve been nice if he had gotten here maybe five minutes sooner, but eh, what are you gonna do?

— On the ground level, we quickly learn that Kabocha-kun had eaten Jack the Ripper’s attack for Shinyao. Even though pumpkins are used to being carved up, I guess this blade sticking out of Kabocha-kun’s head means he won’t live to see another day.

— As Shinyao holds its lifeless body, the pumpkin suddenly disintegrate into black smoke. Said smoke proceeds to heal the girl’s wounds. Is…is that safe?

— In the preview for next week’s episode, we see that Ton’s new hairstyle is here for good. Not only that, she may have lost some of her memories. Great. Convenient amnesia is never not annoying, right?

— Also, it looks like Shinyao and Chris are together again. She’s never going to return to her normal life at this rate.

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