Shichisei no Subaru Ep. 9: It’s been six years!

How on earth can you guys be this hung up on a crush after spending six years apart? I’m so tired of this show. After last week’s ridiculous revelation to this week’s melodrama, I’m about ready to throw in the towel. The only thing that keeps me going is that there are only three episodes left after this. Ugh.

— The episode opens with a quick duel between Takanori and Clive, because this is apparently the only way for a boy to verify another boy’s identity.

— Afterwards, Clive explains what he’s been up to, and it’s what we already know: he’s been watching over Asahi at Elicia’s behest. The girls then start grilling Haruto about Elicia, because unfounded jealousy sure is funny.

— Haruto then tells them about the alternate timeline. Y’know, the one where he had gotten a game over six years ago instead of Asahi. Naturally, his friends find this all incredibly hard to believe. No one seems to really bring up the fact that Senses can be used in the real world, though.

— Finally, it’s Takanori’s turn to contribute to the meeting, and he announces that Nozomi has finally returned from overseas. He then tells Haruto and Satsuki to visit the girl without him. Why is he not going? Well, he claims that she was often uncomfortable around him. Welp, there you go: a clear-cut sign that Nozomi likes Takanori.

— So she likes him, and he likes Asahi, but Asahi likes Haruto. Who does Haruto like? Nothing’s been confirmed yet, but c’mon, you know he’s going to pick Asahi. The Asahis of the world always win over the Satsukis of the world. I don’t make up the rules, man. It’s just true. These weird ass writers love their sweet but dumb loli princesses. The loli-er, the better. I don’t hate Asahi, but she’s clearly a child in both appearance and mentality.

— I’d be sad, but I don’t really care for Satsuki either. She’s rather annoying. When she realizes that Takanori has no clue about Nozomi’s feelings for him, she just goes, “You guys are all so clueless!” Why don’t you correct them instead of just being all pissy in the corner? Use your words, young lady. Either communicate or just shut the hell up.

— The problem with this show is that all of the characters suck. Haruto doesn’t really have a personality. He’s just your generic anime lead. Asahi is, again, sweet but childish. She clearly hasn’t matured a bit in the past six years, and while that’s perfectly understandable, what’s not understandable is how a pair of guys in high school would still be fighting over her. I just went over my dislike of Satsuki. Takanori is creepy for obvious reasons. C’mon, who obsesses over a dead girl for six years? And Clive? Well, we know nothing about him other than the fact that the writer is trying too goddamn hard to make him seem cool.

— So in the real world, Haruto and Satsuki go to meet Nozomi. So far, she seems normal enough.

— In fact, she’s become a model. That’s why she’s always so busy. And like a lot of anime characters who go into this industry, Nozomi started modeling to get rid of her shyness. This trope has been run deep into the ground.

The girl also blushes at the first mention of Takanori in case you needed more evidence that she likes the guy.

— But in the end, she disappoints her former friends by telling them that she no longer plays games. Uh-huh. Sure.

— When Haruto and Satsuki return to Re’Union, the latter tells Takanori that he must come with them next time to see Nozomi. As you can tell, this episode is not very exciting… unless you love pointless love polygons between a bunch of immature kids.

— And right on cue, there’s going to be a dance party. A sweet one, in fact. What a great name.

— It’s basically a prom, and all the girls are excited. Haruto, on the other hand, pretends to be oblivious as usual. Or maybe he’s truly that dumb. Who can really say?

— In the real world, we see Satsuki mentally torture herself in her room, because she obviously wants to go to the dance with Haruto. Eventually, she logs herself into the game to meet up with the guy. She even tells him to come early, because she wants to speak with him alone. Uh, you guys know you can communicate in the real world, right?

— So is Satsuki going to finally grab the reins and ask Haruto out? Of course not. Instead, she tells him to ask her out. Sigh.

— Still, I gotta give the girl credit for finally confessing her feelings. It only took six damn years and nine mind-numblingly boring episodes, but here we are. Haruto is then given a day to think about it.

— Later that night, he gets a rather ominous message from Takanori. It’s a message in the real world, though. See, Satsuki? Some people know how to talk outside of the game.

— At Asahi’s grave, Takanori announces his intentions to ask the girl to the dance. He also insists that he’d be the one to protect Asahi. Blah blah blah, I’m better than you in every way, so how come she keeps picking you over me? I dunno, man, but I bet you girls don’t find it attractive when you’re still in love with a supposedly dead girl from elementary school.

— After Takanori pushes enough of Haruto’s buttons, our “hero” finally admits that he loves Asahi too, so he isn’t willing to just give her away. And with that, the latter turns and leaves. That was all he wanted to hear. He just wanted Haruto to just be upfront about his feelings and stop leaving everyone in the state of limbo.

— After Haruto leaves, Takanori buries Asahi’s ring. As creepy and obsessive as Takanori might have been over the course of the series, at least he’s finally taking the proper steps to move on.

— The next day, we see a dolled-up Satsuki patiently waiting for Haruto. Unfortunately, he has nothing but bad news for the girl. She takes it on the chin at least. After all, she’s known for a while now that she could never win. This would all be very sad if I gave a damn about these characters, but I don’t.

— As a consolation prize, Takanori will be accompanying Satsuki for the rest of the night. Things are platonic between them, but that doesn’t mean them dancing together won’t cause any misunderstandings, though!

— Anyways, Haruto asks Asahi to dance, and whatever. I just don’t care. These two are so unappealing to me that I literally don’t care.

— Back in the real world, Nozomi considers logging in. Uh-oh. You think she’s gonna freak out when she sees Takanori with Satsuki? Hah, you bet your ass she will.

— But how will she log in? She says she doesn’t play games anymore. Apparently, her equipment from six years ago will work perfectly even now.

— But first, we need a dumb, pointless flashback to “explain” why she likes Takanori. Yeah, there’s nothing that the show can do to convince me that any of us should still be hung up on a crush from six years ago. Dude, I don’t even like the same goddamn food that I liked six years ago.

— After the lame flashback scene, Nozomi finally logs in. Conveniently enough, she’s also right outside the “Sweet Dance Party.” And what should she immediately find when she enters the joint? Takanori and Satsuki dancing together. Oh no, this must mean that they’re a couple! Why else would two people dance with each other? Only couples do that! I definitely shouldn’t say anything to either them! I definitely should overreact and storm out of the place! I definitely should sob and call myself stupid for even logging in! Wait, do do that, because this is stupid. Like the title of this post suggests, it’s been six fucking years. Six fucking years, and you guys are still this worked up about a goddamn crush.

— In Nozomi’s moment of emotional weakness, she’s suddenly transported away to… some place. These two clowns then emerge from the shadows to greet the girl. Seriously, one of them is literally a clown. Who are we? Gnosis. What do we do? We’re trying to awaken a mindbendingly powerful ability within a girl that will allow us to reshape history. And as a result, we look like clowns. Great.

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6 Replies to “Shichisei no Subaru Ep. 9: It’s been six years!”

  1. “The only thing that keeps me going is that there are only three episodes left after this. Ugh.”

    Maybe you should watch it with friends while having a small party? That is what I do. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll be willing to watch this anime or having fun watching it if I do it alone.

    One thing for sure watching this anime is like watching AnoHana without enough craftsmanship to persuade you to ignore or tolerate the stupidity in the plot. (And even then, it still failed in the end.) Even the relationship between all the main characters and their roles are pretty f*cking much the same. The author is lazy, incompetent, or both.

  2. I was pretty hung up a crush for a few years, but it made a bit more sense because it started in middle and high school, not elementary school. Death doesn’t really matter, Asahi is Takanori’s platonic ideal, like those guys who fall in love with waifu or celebrities.

    I’m pretty disappointed with this show, it’s like SAO except it’s not bad enough to be entertaining. It’s trying to be Anohana but with vidya, except the other series does relationship drama with a ghost much better.

    1. The difference here is that they’re hung up on a crush from six years ago… a crush they haven’t met nor talked to in those same six years. If you form a crush on someone six years ago, don’t talk or see them for six years, then become ABSOLUTELY devastated the second you see them dancing with someone else, then you need help. I’m not even being flippant about that. That’s some serious mental hangup.

  3. You have to remember that a lot of people actually think they’re a main character living in a fairy tale. They believe there is a narrative of justice that underlies the world and which cosmic powers enforce. Therefore, they will be rewarded with happiness if they just do the right thing. Even if you don’t talk to the girl, fate will bring you together if it is meant to be, and you can tell many things about the universe by your feelings. Love at first sight and meetings of coincidence mean a lot to people who want to live in fairy tales (or anime. ) They tend to be obsessive.

    Adolescents are especially likely to think their actions ought to be rewarded like Takanori does, and haven’t yet been conditioned to letdown. So sometimes it happens that a teenager’s hopes and fantasies hit something solid and his/her psyche inevitably crumbles as all of the lies one carefully told oneself about tsunderes or guaranteed justice/eternal love/magical dances fall down like a house of cards. It happens a lot when teenagers ask an old crush to a prom and get rejected for the first time.

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