Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet Ep. 2: Romio, Romio, wherefore art thou so stupid?

Awkward. 

— For me, a large problem with this show is that Romio’s a doofus. I don’t really mind this being more comedy than romance, but our hero isn’t remotely likable. He’s dumb, pathetic, and really not all that courageous. I have no reason to root for him. As an example, when the girl accidentally spills hot ramen broth on herself, he immediately goes to yank off her pants. Humorous, right? I mean, sure, if it happens once. But when the guy does stupid things like this over and over, my respect for him as the protagonist quickly approaches zero.

— Juliet, on the other hand, doesn’t have much of a distinct personality at the moment. She’s just this perfect girl on a pedestal that everyone admires.

— The other major problem with the show, of course, is that I still have no idea why the Black Doggies and White Cats are beefing with each other. They fight and fight and fight… and for what? What does this even accomplish? Is this a turf war? Sure doesn’t look like one. We’re told that this school was established in order to help foster the relationship between Touwa and the West, and yet… here we are.

— Also, both Romio and Juliet have two hanger-ons, and while Hasuki seems harmless enough, Scott seems like a creepy weirdo stalker.

— Anyways, during one of the many pointless skirmishes between the two sides, Romio drags Juliet away so that they can have alone time. But as soon as Hasuki finds them, he immediately pretends as though he’s beating his girlfriend up. Yeah, yeah, I know… this is supposed to be funny. But why?

— What would happen if the others find out? Would they get kicked out of their respective factions or something? Would Juliet’s family disown her if she’s caught cavorting around with some dirty Asian foreigner? If the ultimate goal is to mend the relationship between the two factions, wouldn’t you want to hold up this relationship as a shining example of the love and cooperation that is possible? You want to change the world, but you can’t even stand behind your love? I just want the story to provide a little context. Humor’s fine, but if we’re going to pretend that there’s a story here, then let’s make sure that the foundation is solid.

— Nice flash kick, though.

— Apparently, Juliet’s father was a cold, unemotional man. Flowers? Fuck yo’ flowers.

— Afterwards, Romio wants to do something nice for Juliet, but he doesn’t know what Westerners would consider romantic. Too bad the internet apparently doesn’t exist in this universe. As a result, he has to go and ask a pair of White Cats for advice. They suggest gifting a rosary. Really? Really? I guess everyone in the White Cats faction must be super religious, because I’ve never seen a rosary being exchanged with romantic intentions.

— There goes that creep Scott again.

— As for Hasuki, she’s destined to have her heart broken. Good thing this show isn’t well written, so we won’t really care when the girl inevitably finds out that Romio is in love with Juliet.

— Cute dog.

— So the idiot tries to protect Juliet from yet another mob, but this simply results in him accidentally breaking his gift. Oftentimes, anime protagonists are too cool for their own good. Too suave, too charming, too badass. Yeah, it sucks when you encounter those all-too-perfect protagonists, but it isn’t much better when the pendulum swings too far in the other direction. Romio is straight up idiotic.

— Even so, his cloddish attempts at romance nevertheless manage to impress Juliet, so she pays him a visit later that night. He even gets to share a nice boat ride with her under the starry night sky. I still don’t really know why they have to sneak around like this, though. Don’t they have smartphones? Don’t they have the internet?

— Juliet ends up giving him her rosary instead, but of course, he has to go and say something to make her mad. When he accidentally goes overboard in an attempt to apologize, we learn that the guy can’t swim. Welp.

— In the second half of the episode, the kids get a free day to go into town, so Romio tries to ask Juliet out on a date. But of course, they can’t be seen hanging out in public. As a result, Juliet becomes Julio, a shota that every Black Doggie quickly falls in love with for some bizarre reason. Why? Just anime things, I guess.

— This time, Scott doesn’t know that Juliet is right beneath his nose. Don’t tell Scotty.

— Even though Romio wanted some alone time with his “Julio,” it ends up being a group affair. He then loses sight of her at one point, so he despairs near the ocean. I guess this is why we found out earlier that he can’t swim.

— Those jerks from last week’s episode decide that now is a good time to get their payback. Y’know, ’cause our hero had prevented them from sexually assaulting Juliet. The nerve of that guy, right?!

— Luckily for Romio, “Julio” shows up and teaches the ringerleader a lesson… but not before it looks like he falls in love with her.

— Still, at least Juliet shows that she can save her guy from time to time. She’s not always the damsel in the distress.

— In the aftermath, Romio is worried that Juliet might be mad at him because their date got ruined. But of course, she’s not mad at all. Instead, she’s happy that she got to see a new side to him. Something about how he’s normally “gloomy,” but he becomes a different person around her. And… this makes her happy? I dunno, he seems like he becomes a nervous, anxious idiot around her, but hey, whatever floats her boat.

— Romio and Juliet’s not-so-secret relationship, however, is quickly discovered by a certain Princess Char (according to the preview for next week’s episode).

— In fact, even when Juliet was running around as “Julio,” the disguise never fooled Char once. She must know Juliet really well if that’s the case. Either a close friend or a rival. There’s a thin line between the two.

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