Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet Ep. 4: The childhood friend loses again

Womp womp. 

— For some reason, the childhood friend shows the most skin of any of the girls to date. Still won’t help her win Romio’s heart, though.

— The Black Doggies try to beat the White Cats both on the battlefield and in the classroom. I think the feud is stupid, especially since we still don’t know why they hate each other, but it’s never a bad idea to take pride in your studies. Someone should tell them, however, that studying without sleep is a bad idea.

— Since Romio can’t leave during this 72-hour cramming session, he convinces Juliet to cross-dress as Julio once more just so they can spend time together. Look how short she is, though. All of the girls are basically midgets in this show. Yep, Hasuki included.

— And oh yeah, Maru is still in love with Julio. I guess this is supposed to be the show’s recurring joke. Haha, Maru is secretly gay… Wait, why is this funny again?

— Anyways, Hazuki is the resident nerd, so she runs these 72-hour cramming sessions. The “funny” twist is that she does so with an iron fist. At the same time, however, this involves her sporting one hell of a cleavage. Wouldn’t that distract the students from their studies? Nah.

— Dude, factorization? C’mon, isn’t that like Algebra 1? That’s not something I would expect students from a prestigious academy to have to study.

— Later that night, when Juliet is ready to leave, she escapes through the sewers. That’s, uh… that’s real dedication to love, alright. Again, don’t you guys have phones? C’mon, I know you do! Maru literally just broke his just minutes ago. Since you guys have phones, why not just facetime each other or whatever you kids use nowadays? Skype, Snapchat, etc.

— Hasuki’s fang bugs me, because I think this is only cute when you see it in an open mouth. If you still see the fang when she closes her mouth, then she needs some dental work.

— Char is still stalking Juliet like she always does, so she guilts Romio for basically having two girls in love with him. The guy realizes that he needs to stop hiding his relationship from Hasuki. Hey, no complaints from me. I always like it when anime characters can actually be straightforward with each other. Unfortunately, this is a romantic comedy, so being straightforward never pays. Being coy never pays either! Basically, whatever you do, it doesn’t pay!

— So at this point, we delve into Hasuki’s backstory, which is unfortunately pretty basic. She was a shy, nerdy girl, but by helping Romio out with his studies, she became more popular and was able to make friends. And I guess that’s why she fell in love with him.

— Having heard her true feelings, Romio comes right out and admits that he and Juliet are dating. I’ve been on the guy’s case all series long, but I gotta commend him for not delaying this any further. It would’ve been cruel to leave Hasuki in limbo. If he can’t return her feelings, then she needs to know that.

— But of course, this is a romantic comedy, so hijinks immediately ensue. At first, Hasuki suggests that Romio should commit seppuku, because he’s cavorting with the enemy leader. When he refuses, she volunteers to chase him around with a sword. Sounds reasonable enough.

— As Hasuki chases Romio around the impossibly gigantic campus, this eventually catches Juliet’s attention. As a result, she gets roped into this big mess. And since Juliet’s business quickly becomes Char’s business, that crazy girl also gets involved. If Hasuki wants to kill Juliet, then Char wants to kill Romio just as much.

— It’s funny, though. I thought Scott would be the one in Char’s position, but I guess psycho lesbians are better than weirdo creeps.

— After escaping with Juliet, Romio starts blaming himself for Hasuki going nuts. Well, I don’t think it’s his fault per se, but you know how these anime protagonists are. They’re like a dirty bathroom rug. They just absorb all the punishment they can get, because there’s a certain mentality in these shows that being a self-sacrificing martyr is the most commendable thing ever.

— Juliet, however, sees that Romio was just trying to do the right thing by Hasuki. This also helps her realize that she hasn’t been a very good friend to Char by hiding her relationship with Romio. So together, the two lovebirds try to confront the other two. This might sound like a potentially touching moment is coming up, but in reality, all the guy does is insist to Hasuki that he still wants be friends with her.

— He also eats a blow from her sword with that big, stubborn head of his, but apparently, it’s just a replica. So, uh, why was the same sword able to cut up these two blokes’ clothes?

Juliet clumsily falls off a cliff just to add even more drama to the scene, so Romio instinctively dives after her. Char and Hasuki also follow suit. After everybody’s all safe and sound, Hasuki demands to know why Romio would do something so stupid. After all, he can’t swim. Even if he gets to Juliet in time, they both would die quickly afterwards. Well, he replies that he didn’t even stop to think. He just felt like he had to dive in after Juliet. And with that, Hasuki realizes that Romio is serious about his love. As a result, all she can do is cry. But wait, what was she going to do if he wasn’t serious about Juliet? Shrug.

— The next morning, Hasuki is back to normal. Hell, even that broken stained glass window is all taped up. Oh well. At least this show didn’t keep stringing the childhood friend along.

— And just like that, we’re more or less back to the status quo. The secret relationship remains mostly a secret. And sure, while Hasuki will accept Romio’s relationship with Juliet, I doubt she’ll stop loving him.

Please refrain from posting spoilers or using derogatory language. Basically, don't be an asshole.

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