Look at the Guild Lady blush when her friend teases her about Goblin Slayer. Don’t forget that this is still a pseudo-harem just because we spent an episode murdering goblins. Hell, I’d be surprised if the show didn’t introduce yet another hot babe real soon.

— Naturally, you need to pass your promotion exam in order to raise your rank, and it sounds like Priestess is about to move up. What’s on the promotion exam? Oh, probably basic questions like, “Should you idiotically march right into a dungeon at level 1?”

— Speaking of hot babes, Childhood Friend wants to know if Goblin Slayer’s okay, because when he came back from his last quest, he slept for three days straight. He probably felt uncomfortable that he had to kill something that wasn’t a goblin. Ugh, I’ve tainted the purity of my genocide…

— After the OP, we get to watch a pair of newbies struggle with giant rats in the town’s sewer systems. Sure, that sounds like a basic RPG quest. At the same time, if you need to depend on the good graces of adventurers to clean up your sewer system, you’re pretty boned.

— They then freak the hell out when giant bugs come to feast. Man, screw living in this world. Step outside and you get kidnapped and abused by goblins. Stay inside and deal with giant vermin.

— Elsewhere, we see our hero assisting Childhood Friend with unloading her dairy-related cargo in the city. As soon as she steps out of the picture, Elf Girl, Dwarf Guy, and Lizard Man show up to bother Goblin Slayer. Look, he’s made new friends! And they’re here to bug him because that’s what friends do! Doesn’t that just melt your heart! It’s character development to go from giving one-word answers to one person at a time to now three!

— So what’s the dealio? Nothing important: Lizard Man just wants some of Goblin Slayer’s cheese. The way this episode has unfolded thus far, it looks like it’s going to be chockful of silly nonsense like what we just got. Oops, I’m sorry, what I meant to say was chockful of characterization, ’cause we now know that the Lizard Man likes cheese!

— I’m sure fans of the manga have different names for these characters, but I don’t really care. Elf Girl works fine enough for me.

— Meanwhile, despite her rant at the end of last week’s episode, Elf Girl would, um, not totally mind it at all if Goblin Slayer, like, came with them to survey some ruins. L-look, it’s not like she’s asking him to join the party or anything!

— Oh lord, Slow Witch is back. We’re going to be here forever.

— The woman then proceeds to dig into her cleavage for like five whole seconds to pull out this rather large candle. Is it large in and of itself? No, but it was tucked in her cleavage.

— What’s the candle for? Well, that newbie lost his sword in the sewers, and he thought he might ask his senpai to borrow a spare one. But of course, big manly adventurer dude is like, “Buddy, you can’t even handle my equipment, aight?” So instead, the newbie gets a candle. Shrug.

— So you can buy scrolls from a blacksmith? Hm, you’d think a show this dependent on DnD and traditional RPG mechanics would have Goblin Slayer buying scrolls from, well, some sort of magic vendor.

— Sniff, our 15-year-old adult Priestess is growing up right before our very eyes.

— Is every single one of these female characters going to blush around Goblin Slayer in this week’s episode? Yes, yes they will.

— Meanwhile, the newbies are still in despair. They haven’t found much luck.

— In the background, we get to watch two higher-ranked adventurers spar. At least she’s holding her shield the right way.

— Eventually, the newbies go to the guild for help, and the Guild Lady suggests asking another adventurer to help them out. Too bad these same newbies were dicks to Goblin Slayer in the past. Honestly, I doubt the hero is the type of guy to hold petty grudges, and even the Guild Lady agrees. He’s got a large enough grudge for goblins anyway. But therein lies the problem: even if these newbies were brave enough to ask for his help, would he bother to assist with a non-goblin slayin’ mission? Check the name, kids. What does it say? Does it say Rat Slayer to you? Does it say Bug Slayer to you? No, it says Goblin Slayer!

— They don’t ask him to join them anyways. They just ask him for tips, and he keeps going on and on about how to kill goblins.

— Guild Lady has a new job for Goblin Slayer, but he immediately goes to leave as soon as he learns that it isn’t goblin-related. I guess she also needs to check his name.

— You already know the answer to this question! Why are you wasting my time, woman!

— Goblin Slayer would totally be that NPC in GTA that bugs you constantly about goblin-related quests. Cousin, it’s Goblin Slayer! Let’s go murder goblins down by the local dank pit!

— Anyway, the guy finally relents and hears the Guild Lady out. You need an observer for promotion exams, I guess.

— Meanwhile, the newbies are back in the sewers after having no luck procuring a spare weapon. All they’ve got going for them is the titty candle and a club.

— Looks like the club is good enough for now.

— So we get to sit in on one of these promotion exams, and this elf guy isn’t doing so hot. He sounds like a loser anyway.

— I like how the guild has regulations against stealing the contents of a treasure chest and backstabbing your fellow adventurers, but nothing to prevent newbies from getting their asses murdered by goblins.

— We cut back to the newbies in the sewers, and the titty candle appears to have led them right to a whole bunch of giant bugs. Thanks a lot, Slow Witch.

— With nowhere to run, the guy decides to stand his ground and fight back. He chucks the titty candle at the bugs, which creates a large magical fire…? Then after the girl casts one spell, the guy goes to town on a single giant bug. He seems pretty confident that it must have his sword somewhere inside of its body. Really, in its body. What kind of bug is dumb enough to eat a sword? The ones in this universe, apparently.

— Meanwhile, back where it probably doesn’t smell so bad, we get more of the Guild Lady blushing around Goblin Slayer. Not that he cares, of course. I doubt he has an ounce of sexual desire in his body. Too traumatized by having to watch his sister get used and murdered in front of him. Sex would probably just trigger him, and I’m not even being sarcastic.

— After the hero leaves, the Guild Lady laments that she had to kick the other adventurer out of town, ’cause the world could use more help. Even from losers like that guy, I guess. It just feels weird to hear about these two talk about concepts like Lawful Good and Chaotic Evil. Yeah, they’re DnD conventions, but in-universe characters shouldn’t be talking about them.

— “Justice is not about striking down evil, but making people aware that evil exists in the world.” Your justice sucks.

— Sword Maiden, huh?

— Oh come on, her sword has the scales of justice built into the hilt? That’s dumb. Not only that, she appears to blind. Get it? Justice is blind? Oh man, you’re so clever, anime!

— Guild Lady then admits to her friend that she totally likes Goblin Slayer… as if that’s a surprise. But even she has to admit that maybe he’s a little too stoic.

— We soon cut to a party. Apparently, the guy got his sword back from the abdomen of that giant bug, and that’s worthy of a celebration. I guess the titty candle didn’t lead him and his friend astray after all. Where’s his red-headed partner, though? Hmmm…

— All of a sudden, Goblin Slayer returns and tells the Guild Lady that he’s about to leave on a new quest. That Sword Maiden we just talked about? Yeah, she wants that goblin slayin’ booty. See? I knew this week’s episode would introduce yet another hot babe who desperately needs our hero’s help. I just fear having to find out why she’s blind. It’s also curious why a heroine who once slew a demon lord would need an adventurer’s help with goblins. Knowing this show, it’s probably because goblins have had her booty. Bleh.