Pray to the two moons for something interesting to happen.
— Oh hey, Haruhi’s back. She does all the heavy lifting so that individuals like Goblin Slayer have the privilege to follow their dreams. We should all be thankful for Haruhi.
— Oh come on, don’t tell me that this is the fabled demon lord.
— But seriously, while we’ve been watching Goblin Slayer’s goblin slayin’ exploits, the Hero has been up to, well, truly heroic things. I’m not sure which story I’d rather watch, though. I’m tired of doing nothing but fighting goblins, but it’s not like taking down a demon lord is a terribly fresh and original premise either.
— Anyways, the show reminds us that our hero really, really loved his sister. I’m just waiting for this extended flashback to end.
— Look at that defenseless village in the distance. It’d be a shame if goblins were to attack it…
— Aside from Goblin Slayer’s morning routine, the milk ranch isn’t very well defended either. So I guess that’s going to happen next. We’re going to have to protect the hell out of the ranch and our Big Titty Childhood Friend (BTCF for short) who only platonically loves us (wink).
— It’s been a while since we’ve seen stupidity in action, so BTCF’s uncle tells Goblin Slayer not to worry so much. Why? ‘Cause the demon lord is dead. This totally means that the goblins will chill out and not attack.
— If you think about it, now is totally the time to attack, because people will have their guard down. People will be like BTCF’s uncle and become careless. That’s when you can strike and grab whatever you can get your hands on. Like, y’know, this juicy BTCF.
— Oh man, this guy doesn’t realize he’s talking to Goblin Slayer because they’re not used to seeing him without his armor. But c’mon, his distinctive voice and cadence is still exactly the same.
— Goblin Slayer asks why the guy isn’t going after the stragglers. He replies that bullying the weak isn’t his style. Right. ‘Cause bad guys deserve mercy as long as you’re this much stronger than them.
— These fledgling adventurers are still around, so good for them. They haven’t gotten themselves killed yet. In fact, a couple vets have actually taken the newbies under their wings. Too bad this doesn’t appear to be a common practice.
— Episodes like this one are kinda dull, but they’re also needed because they serve as a a breather between all the bloodshed and violence. This is pretty much what Seishun Buta Yarou is missing. Of course, that show doesn’t have any bloodshed, but I really wish it would put some distance between each of the girls’ problems. How ridiculous would it be if Goblin Slayer jumped from one goblin-murderin’ conflict to the next without pause? It’d be tiring to watch. I just wish the show had more interesting characters in general. In our hero, I’m not seeing this amazing character development that others had hyped up. He’s just slightly easier for others to talk to. His party members leave me wanting as well.
— Gosh, Priestess, maybe Goblin Slayer didn’t want to make the Guild Lady worry by telling her that he nearly died.
— Yeah, I’ll bet his wounds were properly treated. We literally used the power of virgins to resurrect the dude.
— Oh hey, Sword Maiden sent Goblin Slayer a letter. Are they pen pals now? Somehow, I have a difficult time imagining our hero sending a letter in reply. Oh well, maybe she’s happy even with a one-sided relationship. After all, the show acts as if nobody else in this entire world shares her hate for goblins.
— Man, do these three ever spend time apart from each other?
— And now we get to have one big lunch. Even Guild Lady and BTCF are invited. The entire harem has finally come together! Plus Dwarf Guy and Lizard Man. It’s important that neither of them are threats to Goblin Slayer.
— The hot discussion of the moment is of course Haruhi being triumphant. See what the girl can do when she doesn’t have Kyon holding her back?
— Guild Lady only now mentions how they want to hire retired adventurers to help coach up the newbies. I wonder how many dead male adventurers and caravans full of traumatized girls did it take for the higher ups to realize this.
— The woman also teasingly threatens to deny Goblin Slayer from the quest board if he gets himself into another sticky situation. But the goblins! Who will kill them if I don’t?!
— Meanwhile, BTCF wonders if our hero will ever retire, but it’s not really a topic that they can openly discuss.
— In Sword Maiden’s letter, she reveals that she no longer has nightmares about goblins. Yeesh, that was easy. All she needed was some ripped anime dude to promise to protect her, huh? I also like the idea of some holy woman just sitting in her giant empty temple all sexy like every single day.
— Goblin Slayer and BTCF might have returned home, but the party continues back in town. Dwarf Guy and Elf Girl are mired in a drinking competition, and for some reason, there are idiots who would bet on the girl. C’mon, she looks like she weighs 90 lbs. Even if he’s drinking his fire wine, I doubt she can hold her liquor.
— There’s no rush to think about the future, ’cause god only knows if there’ll even be a tomorrow.
— I guess BTCF hasn’t been naked onscreen for quite a few episodes, so let’s dance under the pale moonlight.
— Wow, you guys just match a giant dragon into town like this? I wouldn’t wanna see that.
— As BTCF settles in for the night, she worries about what Goblin Slayer would do if he could no longer slay goblins. In general, humans are highly adaptable. If you lose your sense of purpose, you just go and find another one. Goblin Slayer is not a normal person, though. He’s a deeply scarred individual who has only managed to keep it together thanks to his hatred for goblins. If this was Dark Souls, the guy would probably go hollow the instant he could no longer kill goblins.
— Oh well, I suppose it’s up to his friends to show him that there’s more to life than vengeance and hate. It’s just too bad that he’ll probably have more goblins to worry about in the near future. Not only that, any further character development won’t happen in this adaptation. We just don’t have much time left.
— Speaking of which, it feels like the show is popular even if some people don’t like it. As a result, I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t get a sequel, but then again, we’ve also seen more popular shows go one and done. As much as I loathed it, I’m honestly pretty surprised (and amused) that something like No Game, No Life still hasn’t gotten a follow-up.