Ulysses – Jeanne d’Arc to Renkin no Kishi Ep. 9: Yay, I waited two weeks for this

…nice… 

— Imagine seeing your fellow countrymen die all around you, but being pumped up just because some half-dressed teenager is waving a flag and telling you to keep fighting. Hm.

— In most of these war stories, one side is definitely evil. You fight for liberation, because your rulers are unjust or whatever. That hasn’t really been the case in this anime. We don’t really know if British rule will be bad for the people. Likewise, we don’t really know if Charlotte would be a good and just ruler at all. I have no belief in her at all, actually. Nothing that I’ve seen from her remotely suggests that she isn’t completely incompetent, so what exactly are we fighting for? To keep France under French rule? Is that simply it?

— Elsewhere, Philip admonishes Glasdale for not aiming for the head. It would’ve killed them both, but y’know, she’s got that whole suicide girl thing. Interpret that in any way that you want.

— Philip doesn’t want to fight this fight, so she’s rather die. But instead of just standing by her convictions, she put the helmet on at her creepy father’s behest, and became a cursed Ulysses. Nevertheless, she constantly risks her life in every battle, hoping that she’ll finally be freed from this mortal coil. How exhausting.

— Meanwhile, Jeanne is no longer allowed to fight. Healing her was a one time thing, and Montmorency doesn’t want to put his underaged waifu on the line again. But let’s not kid ourselves. There’s no way she isn’t participating in this fight. They couldn’t even stop her if they wanted to.

— Sweet animation.

Clearly, someone leveled STR over DEX… but I thought they nerfed the Fume Ultra Greatsword.

— It’s that stupid tongue thing again. Evil people in anime, man.

— Like I said, Jeanne proceeds to jump headfirst into battle, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop her. Since Montmorency won’t become a Ulysses himself, he doesn’t remotely have the strength to hold Jeanne back even if he wanted to.

— Good lord, Philip’s character design is so ghastly.

— Meanwhile, Montmorency has the time to deliver an “inspiring” speech in order to motivate the troops. In other words, he’s declaring his love for his underaged waifu. It’s cool, though. They understand. There’s no FBI in medieval France.

Everyone’s screaming. You scream, I scream. Hell, even Astaroth is screaming. ARRRRRRRRGGGGGH!!!

The difference in the level of detail between these two characters is amazing.

— Watching Montmorency in action, I’m once again reminded that he hasn’t really done anything remotely alchemical. He’s the Alchemist Knight, right? What exactly are his powers? Y’know, other than leaking that elixir.

— Yup, that looks like an anime clash to me. No animation. Just a big clap of light.

— As soon as Jeanne chops off one of Philip’s limbs, it just grows back instantly. Forget war. You could feed the world with this magic. Just gotta, uh, eat human flesh. Hm. Okay, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. And you wouldn’t want to turn a pig into a Ulysses. That’d be too dangerous…

— Jeanne is far too fast for her opponent, so Philip decides to rely on some psychological warfare. More specifically, she brings up the fact that Montmorency had to have married and slept with another girl in order to receive those 2,000 troops under his command. Well, he didn’t. Sure, those were the conditions, but there’s this tiny loophole called lying. This certainly wouldn’t be the first time that a virgin lied about having slept with a girl. Unfortunately, I guess Jeanne would believe anything right about now.

— I was like, “Why is this devastating news to her?” But I guess he did promise to remain abstinent with her. Shrug. What a bunch of crazy kids.

— What’s with all the weird shadows all over this episode?

— Dude, just tell her you’re not married. Just tell her you lied to your grandfather. But he doesn’t. He says this instead: “I had no other way!” As a result, Jeanne’s heart is broken. This is so stupid. Too bad a dude can’t undergo a purity test! Then again, one look at Montmorency is all you really need.

— And as a result, Jeanne lets her guard down. The story can’t possibly kill her again, though. You can’t double dip.

— Finally, in order to save his underaged waifu, Montmorency does what he should’ve had the courage to do since the start of the series. I mean, this is technically bad, because his body will keep producing the elixir. According to Astaroth, the philosopher’s stone will go haywire and the guy has a good chance of dying… but that’s cool with me.

— Now I have crazy shounen powers too!

— But again, Philip manages to pin Jeanne down. Man, our heroine never learns. Philip then gently reminds Glasdale that all he has to do now is to take the shot.

Montmorency tries to block the shot, but he conveniently runs out of juice. Still, Glasdale hesitated, so the arrow only pierces Philip’s helmet.

— Philip continues to whine that Jeanne hoarded all of Montmorency’s love for herself, but I mean… try not obeying your dead, creepy father and turning into a bad guy next time.

— The bridge crumbles and Philip goes down with it. But you know how it is: unless you see a body, no one is ever confirmed dead.

— The French army starts cheering, but the show isn’t over yet so this victory is probably short-lived.

— Suddenly, the sky darkens and dark, multi-eyed tentacles appear out of nowhere and start writhing. Apparently, having the philosopher’s stone go out of control didn’t mean that Montmorency would die. Rather, it would trigger the end of the world. Okay then.

— And you know what makes this particularly stupid? All Montmorency had to do was tell Jeanne that he didn’t sleep with his cousin. He didn’t! He didn’t marry her at all! So why was he afraid of telling her the direct truth? It’s not like his grandfather was nearby and would’ve found out about his deception! And so what if he did? The 2,000 troops are already here! They’re already fighting! It’s too late to stop the war machine!

— If Montmorency had just been straightforward with Jeanne, she wouldn’t have gotten overly emotional. If she hadn’t gotten overly emotional, she wouldn’t have been provoked to go for Philip’s head. And if she hadn’t gone for Philip’s head, she wouldn’t have left herself vulnerable, thereby forcing Montmorency to absorb the other half of the philosopher’s stone in order to save his underaged waifu. This is all his fault.

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