‘Cause true courage is difficult. 

— The episode starts off with Cait beating the tar out of Romio and doing Michael Jackson poses. But somehow, Romio hears Juliet calling out to him, so he ties his opponent’s legs up with a belt then proceeds to jump out the window. Don’t worry, because Juliet is there to catch him. I’m amazed that she could pull up what looks to be a 6’0″ teenager.

— The guy staged a riot just to wish his girlfriend happy birthday. He also serenades her with some pretty cheesy romantic lines. They’re very effect on her, though.

— So in return, the girl confesses the depth of her feelings for him. Don’t expect them to kiss, though. This is anime, after all. Get your mind out of the gutter!

— Um, phrasing.

— Anyways, despite their true love for each other, neither Romio nor Juliet have the strength to withstand the hate between the two factions. They won’t even bother to try. Not now and maybe not ever. I mean, that would require the story to end and why end what you can milk for eternity? If people want an uninspired romance and some cheap laughs, give them what they want!

— As a result, our couple stage a double KO with pies in order to help the Black Doggies feel as though their raid on Juliet’s birthday party wasn’t a complete waste of time. This almost works… almost. Unfortunately, Airu remains unconvinced. In fact, he just goes and outs them in front of everyone.

— Why? Because he has a plethora of evidence. For instance, the rosary in Romio’s possession, which he could only have received from a lover from the West. But again, this is not a thing. Anime tends to romanticize weird aspects of Western culture, though. See: practically every anime about Paris.

— But the real kicker is the that bra. Not just any bra, mind you! But a Western bra! C’mon, you really wanna tell me that Japanese girls don’t wear that sort of thing? Plus, Airu believes that if the bra fits Juliet, then it must obviously belong to her. Yup, no other girl at this school has the same cup, bust and band size. Nosirree!

— This is enough to cause everyone to start doubting Romio and Juliet. Maybe… maybe they are lovers! Insert shocked Pikachu face here. And y’know, I honestly wish these two would just come forth and reveal their forbidden love to the world. It would at least send a strong, inspirational message. An oft-repeated message, but as far as society is concerned, it never becomes any less relevant. Barring exceptions (like, y’know, minors), two people in love should never be torn apart. But the problem with this story is that it doesn’t really want to raise a fuss. As a result, Romio and Juliet keep promising each other that they’ll change the world one day but that day never comes. Nothing ever changes. The status quo lives on because they’re content with the status quo. They’re just kidding themselves. Rather than fight for what they truly believe in, they’d rather not upset society. That’s not a good thing.

— But this isn’t a serious show, so let’s just get back to the dumb nonsense. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so Juliet ups the ante by challenging her boyfriend to a duel with real swords. See? We can’t be lovers if we’re willing to kill each other!

— What a joke.

— In the end, the two of them fight so hard that they both end up in the infirmary. As a result, everyone totally believes that these two can’t be lovers. The status quo is safe for now.

— It turns out they used their rosaries to block the other person’s fatal strike. Pretty risky if you ask me.

— Romio then pulls out a pair of matching rings… which they can’t wear in public whatsoever. But don’t worry, once they change the world, they totally can! True love triumphs… eventually… someday… maybe…

— To show his dedication to the cause, Romio even swears to Juliet that he’ll become a prefect one day. Well, if you can’t beat’em, join’em.

— Elsewhere, Airu and Cait get an earful from their superiors. Y’know, the adults that only show up like once in a blue moon.

— Since the status quo is maintained, Hasuki is still in love with Romio. Likewise, Char won’t just concede Juliet to Romio either. Last but not least, our hero gets to spend copious amounts of time with those lolis as a way to become a prefect. It’s all for true love, yo.

— And… well, that’s it. Pretty unremarkable anime with an equally unremarkable romance. I guess you could say that the romance was never really the star. Rather, it’s the humor. Sure, there were a smattering of laughs here and there, but I wouldn’t say that Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet was truly successful on that front either. There’s nothing here that you’ll remember long after you’re finished with the show. If you’ve got an afternoon to kill, I guess you could blaze through the series pretty quick as a silly diversion. But other than that, I find it difficult to see any real value in the show.

Final grade: D+